Because, I Love You
Episode 183

Arriving at the residence of Mr. Rendy, a luxurious house in the classic design of clean white chat nuances with many trees aborting the surrounding leaves, adding to the atmosphere of this house is so soothing.

The welcome of Rendy's older daughter's son greeted us very politely and cheerfully. They immediately invited Rainbow to play, but... Very clearly, their affectionate treatment has not been able to make him cheerful again. I feel more guilty and anxious.

"Darling, are you still mad at me?" Irgy asked as she hugged me from behind. I was silent by still paying attention to Rainbow who had been silent even though so many ways were done by Rendy's children, until Rendy's brother and sister-in-law joined in.

"Darling, answer me." Irgy said back by sinking her face at the nape of my neck.

"I just didn't understand your attitude and words back then, you didn't believe me when you found out who Lucky really was. Or, you're jealous because your lover in the past now belongs to Ammar."

"dorang, pliss.. Don't always say that he was my lover in the past. I never thought it existed, I just.. I'm just a little angry at the fact that we have to hurt our daughter."

"What I've always feared has happened earlier. You should have understood, not blamed you back then." Answer me firmly.

"I'm sorry, please don't be angry again. Hem?" Said Irgy while peeking at my forehead.

"I love you, don't be angry anymore." He said again, and I nodded slowly in response.

One week later, the school holiday was over. Two days before that, we were back in Indonesia. The rainbow does seem fine, sometimes she throws a thin smile at things she thinks are happy. But in another way, he returned to his attitude that was always indifferent, cold, and quiet. Just like when his friendship with Tama requires them to be separated.

When he arrived at school, he always let out a deep sigh looking around the school grounds. For a moment I imagined a smile Lucky, said his greeting is always polite, and his attitude mature in treating someone.

Ah, so crowded I guess. You're not wrong Lucky, I'm sorry. But maybe this is the best way, you and Rainbow can't get back together in any of those ties. Just blame your father, Ammar. I just don't want Rainbow to be in the same story as I was in the past, I muttered inwardly.

Then Rainbow walked towards his class with such heavy strides, my heart so bitter. I felt like a useless mother and hurt her heart.

Even at home, rainbows prefer to be quiet and play alone in the room. No matter I and Irgy accompanied him to play, he was being nonchalant and ignoring us. Only occasionally answered him when we asked, although he remained a submissive child. But the cheerful and spoiled smile that he always does is no longer there.

Secretly I always cried in the room, and Irgy always patiently calmed me by all means so that this did not interfere with my pregnancy which was getting closer to birth. I feel so guilty, I hurt my own daughter. I don't know what he's thinking about right now after the second time he's been separated from people close to him.

Forgive me, son...!!!

🌻🌻🌻

LUCKY POV

Since then, what is experienced by Rainbow is not much different from Lucky. He became increasingly quiet despite still being a submissive child. At her new school, she refuses to be friends with anyone. She was always quietly crying until she fell ill again.

"Lucky, let's get up, baby. I'll be late for school, your dad's waiting at the dinner table." Mama Ammar wakes up Lucky who is still wrestling in the blanket.

"Lucky, grandma's most handsome granddaughter." Call Mama Ammar back. Then open the blanket that covers Lucky's body.

"Good God, Lucky.. Lucky, Son. You have a high fever,"

"Now, Ammar.. Lucky fever,"

Mama Ammar came out by going down the stairs that so stretched out to go around to the bottom of the ground floor where the residence of Ammar had been abroad.

Just half a step down the stairs, Ammar swiftly ran towards Lucky's room which was then followed by his mother.

"Son, Lucky.. Why are you suddenly having this fever,"

"Ma, have the assistant call Lucky's personal doctor immediately. Quick ma," said Ammar frantically by hugging the body of Lucky who still closed his eyes.

"Foster father, I want to te-te you La-ngi, meet Rainbow. Once.a-ja dad, she must be sad without me dad." Say Lucky with a stammer. There were tears at both ends of his eyes that were still closed.

Ammar gasped for a moment, then hugged Lucky's body even tighter. He cried, feeling that this too made him feel severe punishment.

Shortly after, the doctor came. Quickly immediately do an examination on Lucky's body that is increasingly shivering because the fever is so high.

"Did the young master not eat well? It seems like she also had a great deal of inner pressure."

Ammar was silent by continuing to look at Lucky's face which was now attached to an infusion needle on his side. Ammar was unable to give an answer when their personal doctor, who had always been loyal, asked in an annoyed tone.

"Sir..." Call the doctor back.

"Ehm, doctor.." Call Mama Ammar with a gesture to her. The doctor nodded slowly.

"Getter..."

"Ma, until when does this punishment continue to shower me with painful things? This kid is innocent. It's all my fault, Lucky's just a little kid who's so innocent and has a soft heart like his real father."

"Cry if you want to cry son, never think God punishes you too hard. God only loves you too much as his servant, so you can change for the better."

"But not enough all this time God has taken everything from me, Ma?"

"Didn't God replace it with your current life, son? It's just that your heart can't accept it. In your heart is still embedded the past you should have let go of."

"I've done many ways to forget my love for Fanny, even in the craziest way. Until now I gave up on the situation, I chose to be silent even though it felt unable. But all that is nil, Ma. My love for Fanny keeps me tight, Ma,"

Ammar began to sob in tears. His heart was really sore, he was sitting on the lip of the bed Lucky was lying on at this moment. He grabbed the tiny hand and was held tightly by Ammar.

"Son, it's been a long time. Until when do you keep torturing yourself like that, huh? You're even engaged to a nice girl like Hana. Don't let down a family that once helped you get up and have all this."

"I know ma, I won't let them down either. I'll return the favor to them Ma, but Hana. He, too good for a man who******* as I am. Hana's young and accomplished, and I'm..."

"Dad..." Call Lucky then, he starts to wake up and wake up.

"Eh, Lucky. Son, are you awake? Hows it? What's that hurt? Or do you need something?"

Lucky shook his head, then Ammar kissed Lucky's forehead.

"Grandmother, hotshot. Are you all right, son?" Ask her by holding Lucky's hand.

"I'm fine grandma, I'm just a little dizzy."

"What if Grandma makes warm vegetable porridge for you, you always like it when you're sick a long time ago. You want to, don't you?"

"All right, Grandma, I want. Make it for me" Lucky replied in a soft voice.

With a big smile and feeling happy Mama Ammar went out of the room to make him vegetable porridge.

Lucky looked at Ammar who had been at his side, Ammar smiled warmly and wiped his tears that had soaked his cheeks.

"Dad, i..."

"I'm sorry, Lucky. I've hurt you, I'm not really as good and great a father as you have always said."

"No dad, don't say that. Dad is the best for me, because thanks to you I became like this. Dad took good care of me, but..."

"But what son?" Ammar asked in confusion, looking at the face of the child in front of him who was so innocent and paled.

"Dad, don't marry that aunt. I'm afraid of stepmom,"

Ammar was surprised by the words that came from Lucky's tiny lips. He never thought that Lucky would turn down a girl as good and smart as Hana.

"D, Eh.. But kid, don't you like Hana that much?"

"Dad taught me, didn't he? To remain kind and courteous even if we never liked the person."

Ammar jerked back until he widened his eyes.

"I'm sorry dad, if I'm too brave."

"But son, I promised to marry Hana. I have to return the favor to someone who has made me this successful. I can't refuse it, son."

"If so, can I also force you to return me to your Indonesia?"

"Lucky..." Ammar spontaneously snapped at him. Making Lucky again bow his eyes and tear up.

"When you grow up you'll understand why you did this to me, don't force me to keep scolding you Lucky. You'd better rest and stay the submissive son I've always wanted you to be." Said Ammar by then stepping out of the room just like that.

In Lucky's room crying as she wanted, she tried to refrain from putting up a fight with Father whom she had always considered a great hero, who had been willing to take good care of him and lovingly even so firmly. When Lucky realized he no longer had both parents intact.