Being Married to My First Love
The Ummi Aini

Cindy POV.

The second day after surgery I started learning to sit down and go to the bathroom by myself. Although it feels amazing pain in the incision, but I try not to constantly bother my ummiku.

"Ummi, who was in the room after the operation, besides Ummi and Abi, who was it, Ummi?" I asked after finishing my breakfast.

"Ohh.the Semalem came to see Fadhil and dr.Dimas. Here's the place to eat!" said Ummi while taking a place to eat in my lap.

"They're coming, Ummi?" I was a little surprised to hear the arrival of the two men.

"Yes.., this is a drink first, Cin!" ummi's word makes our conversation pause and I'm getting curious.

"Don't they know Cindy was operated on, Ummi?" I asked ummi again.

"You want to know about who? The arrival of son Fadhil or dr.Dimas?" tanya ummiku that makes me ashamed.

"Well, I just want to know, Ummi. Yesterday I vaguely saw two people standing by the door. And, also I didn't tell anyone that yesterday I was going to have surgery," I told ummi.

"Emm.so. If you want Fadhil, Abimu who gave the news, when your phone continues to ring, and Abi picked it up after looking at the phone screen, there was a call from Nak Fadil. He said, son Fadhil is worried because all day you do not return the message. Then son Fadhil accompanied Abi chat on the sidelines waiting for your operation," said Ummi at length.

"Ohh.kemarin all day I do not hold a mobile phone, Ummi. Cindy's focused on preparing for the operation" I told ummi

"After you realize Abi told Fadhil to come home because it was late," said Ummi.

I was silent, in my heart I was relieved that Fadhil knew. So I don't have to bother to tell my condition that has a cyst.

"You don't worry, then Abi has come to the Ustadz Maulana family. And son Fadhil says he wants to continue to marry you. They agreed to rewind the wedding ceremony after you recover and can move well," said Ummi.

I was relieved to hear that, which means, they still want to accept me even if they know there's a problem in my reproductive organs. Though it might take longer for me to be able to give offspring to them. I wish I could be completely cured of my illness.

"Alhamdulillah yes, Umm. I hope I don't have to have cyst surgery anymore" I told Ummi.

"Prophey, Cin. Ummi will pray for you good, " said Ummi while holding my hand.

"Thank you, Ummi!" I told ummi.

Tok tok tok!’

"Assalamu'alaikum," after a knock, the door opened and revealed Ummi Aini from behind the door with a parcel containing fruits.

"Wa'alaikumussalam, Ma'am yu!" answer ummiku while welcoming the arrival of ummi Aini then shake hands and chips.

Ummi Aini handed over the parcel to my ummu. Ummiku accepted it then placed it on the nightstand next to my bed.

"Why bother to bring a hand, thank you, Ma'am," said ummiku.

"No hassle, Dek," said Ummi Aini.

I smiled and tried to lean in to grab Aini's ummi hand for salim.

"Alone, Ummi?" I asked because I only saw an ummi.

"Yes, Abinya Fadhil is on business, so he can not come to visit, if Fadhil is used to teaching in pesantren," replied Ummi Aini.

"It's okay, Ummi," I said.

"Where are you, Cin? Ummi was concerned when he heard the news about you," said Ummi Aini.

"Thank you, Ma'am has taken the time to visit Cindy," said ummiku added.

"Ummi is free there is no work, this is all a walk so as not to stick at home," said Ummi Aini.

"Oh yes, Cin. Ummi had to redeem the diapotek prescription. I nitip Cindy for a moment yes, Ma'am," ummiku then stand up and take his wallet.

"Yes, it's okay. Cindy let me get it," said ummi Aini.

"Finally thank you, ma'am. Cin, Ummi stay a while, okay?" I nodded in agreement.

"Cin, what the doctor said about the disease" asked Ummi Aini.

"Emm, there's a cyst on Cindy's right and left ovaries. And it must be lifted immediately because it is feared that it will get bigger and could break, Ummi," I replied.

"Ha..really? Is that dangerous enough?" ask ummi Aini.

"If rupture can lead to complications Ummi, and if it gets bigger it will certainly interfere with the performance of the egg to reproduce, Ummi," I said more sad when discussing my disease.

"That means, will it be a problem for your fertility?" ummi's question this time made me stupefied.

That's what I've always worried about. However, when I heard Ummi Aini who asked him made my chest feel sore. As if ummi wanted to make it clear if I would find it difficult to give offspring.

"Emm, it could be, Ummi," I saw Aini's face looking disappointed.

"I'm sorry Ummi Cindy, Ummi would like to immediately have a grandchild so that there is a successor in our family. Fakhri's wife doesn't have a momongan. If you are married to Fadhil and also do not go to give offspring what would be the Ummi family later without any offspring that we can be proud of. Fadhil insists on continuing to marry you, but what happens if you don't get to give children one day, your marriage won't be happy, Cindy. Cin, Ummi, please be glad to annul your marriage to Fadhil. Ummi is sure Fadhil will accept it if you cancel it yourself" said Ummi Aini who made me very surprised and like a lightning strike.

My chest is very painful to hear the speech of Ummi Aini. My former wounds also rippled when they heard Aini's ummi words just now. How can words come out of a mother's mouth. Although he softly spoke, but the meaning was as if slapping my face. It was as easy as ummi Aini to ask me to foil my wedding plans with mas Fadhil.

I was happy with my general words if Fadhil did not mind my illness and wanted to continue scaring me, as if making my heart soar to get a good man who would accept my shortcomings.

However, now I feel deeply thrown by the words of his mother who hurt me so much. My chest felt like it was being hit by a hard object. My tears were powerless for me to hold anymore, and my tongue felt dumb to answer Aini's ummi request asking me to cancel my wedding plans with her son.

'O Allah, what is my sin that I should accept this bitterness. Forgive my sins, O God!' I murmured in my heart as I squeezed the edges of my bed and my tears just slid without me being able to prevent it. I can't speak and I can only cry.

"It might hurt a lot for you, Cindy. But Ummi was forced to say it for the good of the Ummi family. Please don't tell Fadhil and the others if it was Ummi who asked you to cancel the wedding plans. Cindy you are young and beautiful, it will not be difficult for you to get a replacement for Fadhil," said Ummi Aini again.

I rubbed my tears that kept flowing over and over again on my cheeks as if endless. My neck seemed to suffocate with the words ummi Aini so that it could not answer his words. I don't know if I should be mad at the woman in front of me whom I respect like a mother to me. However, this is my lack, and it is not his fault that he cannot accept my lack.

I inhaled the air deeply and exhaled it slowly.

'Allah give me patience!' my inner.

"U-ummii.., I'll comply with the request, Ummi. Forgive my shortcomings that make Ummi and Ummi's family disappointed. Now Cindy begs Ummi to leave this place. Cindy needs time to calm down before Ummi Cindy comes back," I said in a raspy voice typical of people crying without diminishing my respect for people older than me.

"Okay Cindy, thank you for understanding. Once again Ummi apologized. Hope you recover soon. Ummi say yes, Assalamu'alaikum!" I just answered his greetings and then quietly saw the departure of Ummi Aini.

After Ummi Aini passed I cried as if lamenting my fate that must fail to marry mas Fadhil. Coupled with my scar that felt painful and painful when I cried, as if adding to my suffering that was becoming more and more.

_______________________Ney-nna______________

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