Hope and Wish
H&W1WB. Racing at red lights

I lowered my car window. "Come, Bang. If you can beat me to the red light ahead, this car is for you, Bang." I exclaimed at the car that stopped on my right side, at one of the red lights that was quite quiet because time showed midnight. 

I doubt the car can beat this upgraded legend car. Although I risked my grandmother's legacy car, but I'm sure the factory standard LCGC car will not be able to beat my car. 

The car window was open, either the AC was damaged or he was smoking. But I know the owner of the car. We were at the same gas station. 

"No need, Ra." His face was limp and looked very sleepy, he seemed very tired with his activities. 

He is quite handsome, tall, dashing, his business field is interesting, he is young, but looks so bothered after his wife left for eternity. That means he still has to get on with his life, right? About everything he has, I'm sure he still really deserves to get his happiness and set things up.

"Come on, Bang." I showed off my teeth. 

I want to see him friendly to me, I want to see him smile back. I used to be so unfriendly, I tend to be flat and tight on everyone while still in a relationship with toxic men. 

After I was returned to my father, aka the widow. I felt so empty, my world was in my grasp and I had no burden at all. In fact, my biggest responsibility is in the back seat. 

He was enjoying his thumb, the seven-month-old baby went with him wherever his mother went. Apart from being an ASI, his father challenged me that he would not give a living for his son, if I forced the custody of his son to fall on me. 

Though, it was his grandfather who wanted his grandson with me. Right, my father's trying to get my son's custody to fall on me. As a result like this, I took him away to take care of the effort my father gave me. 

I am Caera Nazua, a twenty-three-year-old woman who burses her education to no graduations, for the sake of a man who has great effort to ask for me, but she has no effort to defend me. He never cheated, he never defied my parents' orders to continue my parents' efforts, he was very polite and good at being with all my extended family. 

But he always accused me of cheating. He always thought there was another man I responded to and thought I was always attracted to the man passing by in front of my eyes. He forbade me to be close to my older brother, even though he was clearly my brother and guardian after my father. 

Even crazier, he always threatened me with physical violence. Even he did his threat, so I returned to make him sick many times. I am a victim of KDRT, he is also a victim of KDRT that I did to repay his treatment to me. 

Ah, I wish all brave wives were like me. Despite going to prison for three days, I was proud of myself for being able to protect myself when my parents were far away and there was nothing I could count on to protect me, because my husband hurt me physically. 

Husband like that, has no function value in my opinion. I can buy a man, even though he puts a tariff every day to treat me well. But even better, if there is a man who treats me well and will bear my sins and my living expenses. 

That's a good idea, if I'm tired of working and taking care of my kids. But because of the experience of getting the wrong guy, I often think that it is better everything is done alone. Except, bed needs. 

Damn it's a man's candlestick. Why do they introduce that good taste, if indeed they can not make us feel at home for a long time? 

Where am I from a good family, exodus pesantren, hafizah Qur-an again. Should I commit adultery? Did you ask to be betrothed to another man? It would seem that I was itching. 

"Na, na, na, na…. Ma, ma, ma, ma, ma…." Galen's rant made me glance at her. 

Me and the baby boy just came out of the hotel room and just filled our stomachs. He's a baby who just knew MPASI and has been used to having dinner so night, there are no restrictions in my opinion, the important thing is that I understand the texture of the food is good for him. 

"Galen ngajak tuh race, Bang Workshop," cried again talking to the car next door. 

"You're bringing a baby boy out here tonight?" His glance turned into a shocked look. 

I nodded and smiled thinly. "One, two…." I glanced towards the street lights that turned green. 

I immediately stepped on the accelerator, leaving her dumb gawking and her car still in place. He was not sprightly, he was an amateur repairman on the streets. 

Maybe his father wasn't like my father who took me racing cars on the right track. My hobbies are supported by my father and under my father's supervision. 

Until I finally pulled over after the next red light, the car was already behind my car and he pulled over as well. His car lights were still on, but he got out of the car and left the car door open. I was still sitting at the wheel, watching him from the rear view of my car and seeing it clearly that he was heading to my car door. 

"Your baby why not? Yeah, greetings, Ra." He looked very panicked when he knocked on the window of my car. 

I lowered the window of my car, then I glanced at the rearview mirror of my car. I saw my son enjoying his own thumb and watching the night view from the window next to his seat, he did not cry and he did not look frightened. 

"My baby why is it?" I turned my head and it coincided with his face peering in from the window of my car. 

I quickly turned my head back and closed my eyes, our distance was too close and he was a stranger to me. It was the initial spark of the KDRT in my household, because my son's father accused me of having a relationship with someone who owned this workshop. 

In fact, he was just another person who happened to be related to my foster brother. I know him too, because my car has served at his place of business. Plus, he was a witness in my divorce trial.

Mr. Handaru Albundio, more or less so his name. But I call him 'the Workshop Gate' more often, because I knew him in his workshop. 

My baby laughed crisply at the sight of this man's head popping up, perhaps according to the seven-month-old boy it was a funny thing. Not funny for the heart of my boyfriend who even a year without a man with this close distance. Where the perfume is comfortable in my nose and immediately recorded in my brain again, the aroma is soft and fresh. 

"Don't speed, Ra. Pity your son, you don't think you're trying?!" the sewot is right in front of my face. 

I close my eyes again, then open my eyes slightly to make sure they are back. He didn't realize he was still right in front of my face this close. 

"Why you? You sick? How pale is sweating?" His breath smelled of thirty thousand cigarettes. 

I remembered memories of being this close to my ex-husband, then he praised me and made me resign under him. 

"I'm weak in faith, don't get that close." My voice turned limp and a little hoarse. 

My hormones were lured away for a moment. 

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