Hope and Wish
C&W16. Requesting decision

"Love feels like the person we love is gone. I can't answer, because I don't know how we ended up." He replied by looking at me for a moment, before finally focusing on my laptop again. 

"Yes, we're not being." I'm waiting for his response. 

He took a breath and looked at me deeply. "How old are you? Come on." Come on."

I immediately plucked her lips with my hand. But he even laughed. 

"Why think not to be? What's the matter? Tell me a story, let me know what to do." It's changing in serious fashion now. 

I was not in the mood to continue my meal. I leaned against the concrete pole, then set my eyes on the wide-open door of my father's house. 

Dad's on one of the sofas seen from here, he's eating something on a plate. Coupled with a laptop and a few piles of documents in front of him. He moved to watch over me, even though he was busy working. 

"Abang has a past with Flowers. That fact, makes my parents object." Finally I'm honest too, it feels a little prickly in my heart. 

"Old man? Your father kali. Biyung isn't, and I'm sure he can't think that."

It seemed, bang Han was quite close to the biyung. 

"Yes," I'm honest. 

"I never married him without a second thought. Eighty percent of the kind of woman I dream of, she has."

Gleck….

I'm honest, but he gave me a bitter pill. 

"House again destroyed, you can find a gap to re-enter his life." I pretentiously let him back to the Flower, when originally I was like deliberately insinuating it. 

"I don't care." He looked at me inside. 

What is n****? Or is he telling the right answer from his heart? 

"His economy is again broken, Brother can lure him luxury," I suggested that I stifled my own heart. 

"I once offered him a house worth three hundred million."

What more confession do I need to hear? Why the more he hurt me with his confession, the more I felt he should not be let go. I guess I'm not okay now. 

"So, what else to do? I've missed everything, I can't change the past. Don't tell me to go near the flower, if you really want to be with me. I don't feel like I'm selling myself anymore, Ra." His tone was soft, but it made my eyes wet. 

"Han, I'm less of a reg to you. Go home, don't fight." He said that phrase. "Udah, that's it. I don't have the power to change the past, I admit I'm that stupid. But I live in the future, I live with a daughter who will follow the bad of her new mother later. I promised you this and so, I dare to take the opportunity of a letter of agreement. I deserve to continue living? Continue, not go back in time. Please understand my words, Ra."

I closed my eyes and listened carefully. 

She needs a proper mother-to-be for her child, she wants to get on with her life, which means staying on the right track. He does not want to go back to the past, because he was on the wrong track. It increases the risk if he is on the wrong track, because now he is carrying a child. 

She needs a mother for her child. 

Wicked, painful. I also have a heart, in addition to being considered a mother, I want to be considered a perfect companion and wife. 

I did want to have a husband back, but I was thinking of a new father for my son too. While Bangkel bang, he wanted to give a mother to his son. 

"I need a husband, not just a father for Galen. I need a companion, not just a husband. Knows not?!" I pressed my eyes and gave my voice firmness. 

"Neighbor, Ra. Totally understand. I was wrong to say that?"

Wants me to shove his head. 

"You just need a good mother for your child!"

Satisfied, he finally listened to me. 

"Reverse again, is it about feelings? Really right?"

Why should I be asked? I have the prestige to answer. 

"What is his mind?!" Let's say I'm a convoluted woman. 

"Yes how? What kind of friendly attitude do you want? Your father wasn't a fool, sweetheart." He spoke slowly and rubbed his chest. 

Everywhere, I don't understand. 

"Go back there! I'm emotional." I'm wasting my breath. 

"I love you then." He held out the brown wallet to me. 

Cake ring, cake flower.

"It's not the cake that's how." I pushed down the purse he handed out and laughed a little. 

It made my mood drift. 

"Where?" He chuckles small. 

"Udah was once a husband, had studied the nature of women. But the thing is, why fail to continue to be a man who is coveted by women? As if it were wrong, as if it were lacking. What else to do? Time to say I love you? There have been ser-seran since meeting in Cirebon, has been deg-degan every time the dialogue. Later said again that I am a crocodile, when again speaking honestly," he explained later. 

My feelings are absurd, this chatter is going too far. 

"You're lying!" I narrowed my eyes. 

"Remember, hurry up. How the hell are you?! Say seriously want to marry, even the one who married his father first." I patted my own lap. 

He glared for a split second. 

"Udah said, Honey. Try it, but you don't support it. Try telling your dad if you want to be with me and accept everything about me. Your people who don't understand the past and everything in me, I can't be the man you expect. Where are you the sewer again, you are the one who snags again. People have been told how I used to be. Now live in your room, Ra. My past is so, I can't change my past, but I can fix my future, especially if you're my companion. You accept me, don't you? If it's hard to accept everything about me, it's the most obvious. I'm not selfish, but I'll think ahead."

Dreaming about it, he asked me to decide. Boro-boro hung it like my father wanted, he moved quickly to ask for my decision in the future. 

He's a man who doesn't talk much. If I refuse, I'm afraid an opportunity like this doesn't come twice. I'm afraid he didn't fight for me, when he did I decided not to continue with our wedding plans. However, stalling time is not something I can easily say. 

I should have understood from the beginning. If I want him, I have to accept his past. I can't throw the Flower out of its life history, the Flower's name has already come out of my name. 

"Don't think and give decisions, Ra. Quickly give me a decision, let's not struggle in vain." Highlight his eyes in delivering his great hope. 

...****************...