Hope and Wish
R&W79. Tranquilizing

"Nitip huh? Get her sleep." Dad looked at Mama Aca, then framed my face. 

"Yes, Ghifar will tell Kaf. Small fuss is not the same papa, now even a storm. Despite business problems, Kaf is afraid of starting and afraid of failing. While the word papa, failed does not matter that the important has started. Kaf's guideline, abstinence from failure before exit, on the operating table means Kaf. He said are we not crying, the stomach is just opened and the patient is groping? So much noise, the effort is not going, the storm so." Mama Aca sighed and shook her head. 

Throughout the story, my mother told me, my father just looked at my face and rubbed my cheek with his thumb. Highlight the eyes of the father was very sad, he seemed to see what was very painful for him in my eyes. 

"Father is wrong, but you don't want your daughters to get their karma." Her tears were unstoppable from the corner of her eyes. 

"Well, what do you have to do, let you live happily?" Dad brushed his tears, then rubbed my cheeks again. 

Dad knelt in front of me sitting on the sofa. Since then, my father has been watching my face. I don't know, if Dad remembers his crimes first. But in my opinion, there is no such thing as karma. Maybe it was my fate like this. 

"What the hell are you, Van?! So cry, make it sad." Mama Aca grabbed my shoulder, then rubbed my arm. 

Dad glanced at Mama Aca at a glance. "I am already exhausted, knowing that I have been given the mandate of many girls. Should Ra be a widow again? Should he be a male ego victim again? Is there not one man who can understand him? He's not bad, I know his character from childhood." Dad's voice shook, then dad hugged me tightly. 

I saw Mama Aca rubbing my father's back, then patting him on the shoulder. Here her husband was sad again, my mother laughed out of the room. I don't know which room it is, but the laughs are blaring. 

"Not found the right guy yet, Van. Maybe now just a misunderstanding, do not use it. Better take your wife home from Kaf's room, than later that night Ghifar ngigau called Canda's name because he was joking with Canda. I'll be inflamed later. Gih…." Mama Aca pointed to the location of the room that was visible from this living room with her chin. 

Dad looked in that direction. "There's a Ghifar in Kaf's room? Feeling, he was in the kitchen right now I gave you the letter." Dad got up quickly by holding his knee.

"A few minutes ago came in, kept his voice down." Hearing Mama Aca's explanation, father immediately rushed over. 

Shortly afterwards, he came out of the room with his neck flanked by father's arms. Biyung still laughed, even though her husband's face was already holding back heartburn. 

"In the upper room, Ra. We're ordering food, what do you want to eat?" Mama Aca embraced me, taking me up to the second floor. 

She did not panic like father, despite knowing her husband was joking with my mother who incidentally was her husband's ex-boyfriend. How did Mama Aca manage her feelings, in such a scandalous environment? Why does it look okay? Why can't I be like him? Why do I have dark eyes first, even though my husband does not respond to Flowers like papa Ghifar responds to biyung jokes?

"You want satay, Ra? Mama cooks fish, rather lazy to eat fish. But Kaf likes a healthy menu, until it's set how many minutes to cook." Mama Aca opened the door to her room. 

"Not yet to eat, Ma." It still feels tight in this heart. 

"Here sit down, Mama want to order satay first." Mama Aca took something on the nightstand, which turned out to be her phone. 

I watched my father's yard from the window of this second floor room. I wish my husband had emerged from the connecting door of the yard next door, then he went home and looked for my whereabouts. However, until Mama Aca finished ordering food. In fact, my husband's cliche shows no sign of coming out the connecting door. 

He is enjoying his time with his two daughters. 

"Don't daydream, Ra. Don't make your hopes even greater." Mama Aca came up to me, then rubbed my back. 

"My husband doesn't trust his children under my watch, he's afraid I'm doing evil to his children. She's afraid to sleep with me, Ma. He didn't want to go home, even if I picked him up. At first we had plans to Jakarta our little family, but the plan changed because of yesterday's events. He does not want to take me to Jakarta, he wants to be alone in Jakarta, he wants us to deliberately separate places with the reason to calm down. Ma'am…." I turned towards him, wiping my escaped tears back. "I can't calm down if we're this far away. I still want to have her husband" I said with tears flooded, as I talked about my own feelings. 

"Yes, follow."

I forgot how to blink, I was shocked to hear the brief advice from Mama Aca. 

"To call yourself, right? Not to split?" Mama Aca looked at my face. 

"I don't know, Ma. But she's mad, when I asked for another divorce." I was afraid, I was forgotten by him who was far away in Jakarta. 

"Yes try to participate first, while we monitor how Han take care of your household. Because usually, LDR is fast communication. Because usually, LDR is even more able to understand each feeling when far away and can feel the needs of each. We used to meet every day, we don't know for sure we didn't love him. But the moment is far away, suddenly it feels mixed, his love feels and realizes. It's a long way off, too, where does Han remember the rice, so remember you. Well yes, at home my wife continues to cook rice, now far so cook yourself deh, ah good to pick up the wife deh. Well, do you know Han had that thought if you realized his feelings and needs. We should not be sad if he remembers rice so remember us, the sign is that he is used to our service. Don't even think, am I considered his maid? Can not think bad, husband and wife need each other. He needs you, you need him too. Maybe you saw the bolster, so remember how to pronounce you, right?" Mama Aca chuckled slightly, by getting rid of the droplets of my spilled feelings soaking down my cheeks again. 

I felt a little calm hearing all of his words. Other than going in the brain, my bad thoughts about the destruction of the household if we parted were eroded a little. 

"Tomorrow, we'll have coffee at the cafe. We meet someone, who might be able to make your emotions have a container. You're an adult, you're a mother, you have to have a container and you have to be able to control your emotions. Mama knows this is your character, Mama who takes care of you fit toddler. But you can't be the new people you love like this, even afraid of your character. Han just doesn't understand yet, but Mama knows her fears. All those people have a point of fear and a point of worry, Ra. Mama is no longer on Han's side, but Mama is trying to give me a solution so that in the future you are not dark eyes anymore like this. Because Mama knows, you end up losing yourself. Not a few people are afraid of the slightest violence, Ra. Mama Aja who is as big as this, Mama cry when yelled at by papa Ghifar, if angry scolded by children. Not everyone understands the shaking effect of the clash, but for Mama who is tired and never yelled from small, but, feeling that there is no love and no love because the closest people dare to snap. Understand, Ra. Mama loves you." Mama Aca hugged me at the end of her sentence. 

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