Hope and Wish
R&W18. Self-deprivation

"Yes maybe his mother Om is crazy, but until old age it is so. The table is kicked when chatting at the dining table, the sink is thrown objects, if you have eaten it is not washed. More taken care of it feels after having a papah connect, he is unfortunately sincere and maybe the same father Om because it has a mother a bit crazy. But it's okay, it changes the way a parent looks. They're not as bad as the stories of the people out there." Father carved a faint smile. 

When I was a child, I was often invited to the fields by Adi's grandfather. I'm BAB yes he's a chef, I eat ya bribed, I'm fussy ya calm. 

"I want to be with Ra, Om. Not sure about me? Tell me how, let Om trust me." Bang Workshop touched his own chest. 

"It's important the guy has no past with our family, that's it. Can you?" break up dad quickly. 

"If it's like that, I'll just back off, Om? I can't change my past, I can't change what happened to me with Flowers yesterday. If it happens in the future, I can prevent it. But the thing is, it happened, it was too late. But, yes, yes? I can't make a meaning. Maybe I went back to Jakarta first, huh, Om? Let Ra get used to being away from me."

Look, father ruthlessly nodded his head. I can only close my eyes and look the other way, I should be ordinary without him from today on. 

"Go home, dad you're ready, you can come again. Later the issue of flowers, let it be discussed later. Because he himself has a big problem." 

Dad let us make a deal on the deal. But now I decided everything. 

"Good, Om. I appreciate the decision, Om." Bang Workshop kissed dad's hand, then he left. 

I can't look at him, because I'm so crybaby right now. I could only stare in the other direction, because only in such a way could I be strong. 

"Logic is used, Deck. Just looking for a deal, he seemed selfish. All the children were brought, Galen too. I'll never agree, Dek." Dad grabbed me and rubbed my back. 

"Maybe he's just scared, Dad." I don't have an answer for that either. 

"Sholat, ask for directions. That fast he came asking you to be with Galen, I can't afford value anytime soon. He seemed to be in a hurry, the cake was something he was after. Syuhada only half a year back and forth here, he has not even a week already quickly asked to be given a decision. Understand his son is not taking care of, but the official baby sitter is only five million, it could be a special nurse baby as well. He's here it's a proverbial cake, a paddle, two to three islands outstripped. He wants to get a wife, get a baby sitter, get his son in Flowers too. If his father was he, from the beginning had said there was serious about Jasmine." 

I glanced at Dad. "She did come naturally here, Dad." I let out my breath. 

I have never opened before. 

"How do you mean?" Dad put his eyebrows together. 

"Om Hamdan nanya Bunga, he also asked why he has not heard anything from here. Is it here he said. But I said, here again peace, do not disturb peace here. Come, yes, in a natural way. Keep bang Workshop initiative to apply for me, it's natural he came here for other purposes. Let the peace of the Flower not be disturbed, let it be a business after he is here," I said later. 

"Astaghfirullah….!" The pull and breath of the father was clearly visible his emotions.

"You're being used, Ra!" Dad wanted to pinch me, but he didn't. 

"I know, Dad. I'll also benefit him." I dared to look at Dad. 

His eyes almost fell out. 

"How beneficial? We have a lot of confidants, his strength is not much needed!" Dad snapped at me for a moment. 

"Beneficient became a husband" I answered without fear of his expression. 

"Jeez….!" Dad's shaking head. 

"Ra, he's got durian falling if he's married to you. He's the lucky one, for staying to enjoy what you've got. You said you used him to be your husband? Let him go, Ra. Even good men will feel very lucky and do not feel used to being your husband. You're too valuable to be barter for that cake." My father's breath frenzied for a moment. 

Did ya? I have a lot of flaws, is it true that men out there feel lucky to have me? 

"Where do you want to live? Where do you want to hold that business? I don't want to hear about Han anymore." Dad massaged his temple. 

Hopefully, that's the easy thing. 

"Promise not to go to Han again?" 

Without hesitation, I immediately raised my hand overhead. "I promise, Dad. But if it happens that we meet, it's not my plan nor am I breaking my promise."

My father's trust was above all else, though I was a little disappointed by his decision. Maybe I'm the stupid one here. 

"Gih, rest. Tomorrow go with your brother-in-law, you're there just as bang Zio is."

I nodded steadily. "I'm ready, Dad." Even though I really want to cry. 

Never mind, I cry once when it comes to feelings. At best, maybe I should just focus on my work first. 

"Don't come to Jasmine's wedding, I'll tell you you're busy there." 

"Yes, Dad. I'm ready to rest first, let the morning fit." I took care of my laptop, a pen and a piece of paper. 

So, her memories are just this? Only the new paper reads 'I am Handaru Albundio, promise'. Already, just like that. But I chose to keep it. 

Does this feel like a broken heart? Even working, it's hard to focus. I've never felt love before marriage before, what does this feel like love?

I thought I wanted to give him some news, but I didn't want to lose my father's trust. I feel like I want to tell him that I'm in Cirebon right now, but I don't want him to come to me. 

But think again. Is it possible that he will come to me when I give him the news? Is it possible that he wants to fight for me, whereas he himself has said that he does not want to do drama for such a thing?

Ah, nevermind. It felt like I had to let go of the burden of my mind on a safe road. 

"Sister-in-law, can Galen nitip?" I spoke to his wife bang Zio. He, his son and two nannies came with us to Cirebon. 

We occupied Dinda's grandmother's house, which had previously been occupied by Dinda's older sister's son. 

"By, Dek. Where are you going? Don't be alone, take your brother." She is a gentle woman like a biyung. 

He is also very quiet, so he never invited a chat at the beginning if not invited to speak first. 

"No, Sister-in-law. I'm the most snacking." Not really, I don't know where I want to go. 

"Well, yeah?" He smiled at me. 

I nodded and got out of the house. Galen is fine, too. I have to go home before eleven o'clock at night, because Galen's asking for milk at that hour. 

Circuit racing cars in Cirebon. 

I wrote that keyword on Google. The reason, nothing. However, the name of the workshop owned by Bang Workshop appears on the list of nearby places that approach the search with these keywords. 

When should I play in his workshop?

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