The Curse of Love
Part 5 Your memories hurt me
"Mother, Juned is thirsty!"
Juned's call at least shifted my shadow of the past.
"Come here, son, don't drink on the mat and the water will spill."
Half sleepy he woke up to me who was holding his drinking glass.
"Sir, Juned lapal.cih there's mamamkah dapul?" with her language still slurred she looked at me.
"So boy," I stood in the kitchen taking my dinner rations that I hadn't eaten.
I don't know how heavy it feels to eat it. I was afraid one of them would wake up and ask for food.
Our food has already been eaten. Not because it's stingy, but it's food that doesn't exist.
I saw Juned gourmandily munching on the rice with the salted fish side dish that I titled his mouth.
I thank God my children are never fussy in food. Sometimes if there is no side dish with salt so.
At that time I had not earned my wages printing bricks, me and the children only ate boiled cassava.
To save money, I still cook with firewood. Since there are a lot of dry wood leftovers for burning red brick, that's what I took to make firewood. Good for saving expenses.
"Already mak..Juned is good." He's caressing the stomach.
"Alhamduin...Alamduyiyah.teyimakatih O Allah on this hali lejeki."
"Children, now drink first continue to pee and then continue to sleep son."
It was good to see my children sleeping in a state of fullness, even though I only ate the remains of them.
Juned went back to sleep. And I. why my eyes are not sleepy at all.
I turned to the corner of the room. Usually there my husband sat down for coffee and joked with his kids first.
It was before the mental illness disturbed his soul.
"Dec, my stomach hurts a lot..."Mas Sofwan groaned holding his stomach.
"What did you eat? Or because of busy work and forget about lunch?"
He coiled around in bed withstanding the pain. I panicked too.
"Don't know the deck.lately mas busy so drink more energy drinks."
I held Dina who was 5 months old. "We went to the hospital aja yuk mas.I became worried to see the state of the mas like this."
"But if you don't work later cut the deck's salary again, kasian later kitchen money added less."
"It's okay, what's important is to be healthy first."
I took the cloth to carry Dina. "We take the angkot only mas, let Dina also not overheated."
My husband curled up in pain in an angkot. "Prophey, we'll be here soon."
I immediately took him to ugd and it turns out after being examined Sofwan mas has a liver disease.
And more surprisingly, he had to be hospitalized.
That was the beginning of our troubles. Because shortly after, because Sofwan often sickly mas finally he was fired from his office.
It was there that I learned to print red bricks, to help keep our kitchen smoky.
I also took turns with him taking care of Dina. Because after coming home from the hospital, my husband has not been able to work that heavy-duty first.
But Alhamdulillah 2 months later mas Sofwan can call work as cleaning service at a hospital.
I breathe heavily. A memory of our early marriage.
Then my memory swirled as Sofwan after work laughed and smiled to himself.
I don't know what exactly happened. Since then he has ignored me no longer, no longer caring for his children. He was busy in his own world.
He didn't care anymore about his job and how his wife's son could eat if he didn't work, as he always told me.
He was too busy laughing and talking to himself. And if you are tired of laughing and talking, usually he will cry as much as possible.
My memory revolves around the early events of her coming home from work and no longer being able to remember us her family.
As usual Juned always whined when he came home playing in the afternoon. Either ask for a snack or go home crying because of fighting with his friend.
"Sir, '" walked in through the only door in my rented house. Because there is only an outer door as an entrance. But our kitchen doesn't have a door.
'Juned asks dadan mak, who is kayaking in tama abduy."
Usually when he heard Juned whining, he always laughed at Juned's slurred voice and he would persuade him to stop whining.
But this, no. A candy suddenly floated right in Juned's head. The boy stopped crying.
I'm in a tight silence. The incident happened quickly and just passed by. I'm grateful it wasn't the tea glass or ashtray he threw at Juned. If that happens, it could leak my son's head.
"Whispering.." his eyes bulged red. He never once yelled at his children.
He is a good husband and father. It was only by a few months that we were about to step into our 9 year marriage that she began to change.
Sometimes his emotions are uncontrollable. If so, I will be the target.
I was hit just for being slow to open the door. Even he once strangled me just for scolding the mischievous Dina for stealing a neighbor's mango.But after he realized what he had done, he then cried hugging me and apologized.
I was like faced from two different sides in my husband's life.Just after snapping at Juned, his expression returned like he was smiling himself looking at a point.
I'm speechless. I hugged Juned who was also trembling in fear. "Mom, Juned or my father." He hugged my feet tightly.
Quickly I took my son out of him. I'm looking for Dina who's playing while looking after Syifa.
"There's something like panic, said the owner of this contract."
I told Ms. Darmi everything that happened. Not that I meant telling my family disgrace to others, but all because of my fear.
"Your husband's crazy Nia." chances are he's just stressed out. Hopefully tomorrow Sofwan will be back again.
That is also my hope. Hopefully tomorrow or soon, my husband will come back to his senses as he usually does.
I also gave Dina and Juned a brief explanation so that they would not disturb Syifa. Don't make a fuss because his father is sick.
From work to night, he did not move from his seat. Me and the kids didn't dare to bother him. Even for prayer, I warned Dina to take care of her sister first.
After Dina ate and I finished feeding Syifa and Juned, I took food as usual for her.
"Eat first yes mas.seharian mas no eating at all."
He was silent not responding. Then I gave myself the initiative to bribe him.
I'm a little relieved that she's opening her mouth to eat, even though she's babbling quietly to no one.
After I finished eating and drinking I tried to take off his shirt and change it with a t-shirt. He's not in a fight and I'm a little relieved.
That night, Mr. Rt and Ms. Darni's husband came to the house to visit my husband. Trying to talk to him calmly and quietly afraid he would react which would harm us all.
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