The Pesona Duda Perjaka
The First and Last

Steven sat down in his study and closed his eyes. His departure to Papua could not be canceled, only delayed, given a backward dispensation until 40 days of Shera's death, besides Steven was given special treatment with a week-day holiday every 6 months to visit Raven.

Steven opened his desk drawer. Three days after Shera's funeral, Steven and Kirana, accompanied by Sebastian, are called to the attorney's office where Shera works.

Shera prepared herself before her death by leaving a letter to Steven and Kirana.

Steven opens a white envelope addressed to himself from Shera. After five days of being left a denizen, Steven finally began to open it.

Dear Steven Pratama,

When you read this letter, I will no longer be a resident of this world. Everything I do is of my own accord, so don't look around for who is responsible.

I realized that at first I was just obsessed with you. The only good-looking guy in school who never looked at me like everyone else, tried to get my attention. My heart did not accept because my competition turned out to be just a little boy who was still in a blue white uniform, not even a pretty and popular girl in school. My pride feels challenged to fight a child who for me is only a weak competitor and I can easily get rid of. But I was wrong. Kirana's charm never allowed you to turn away from her even until I could have you as my husband.

I met Kirana a few times before I met Sebastian. Not much has changed, still remains mediocre, but still cannot be removed from your heart. Feeling hard to keep chasing you, I finally saw an opportunity to stay close to you through Sebastian. Apparently it is not easy to get the attention of Pratama men.. I had to fight until I finally conquered Sebastian.

A new problem re-emerged when Sebastian wanted a future wife who was still holy, who took care of themselves as well as Sebastian himself and I did not get into his criterion. I've let go of mine since we were in 12th grade and my passion for clubbing is definitely against Sebastian's principles.

Instead of being aware of my situation, I created a new lie by saying that I had a motorcycle accident during college that caused my hymen to tear. Even with how dare I make fake medical records. I'm really crazy !

It took me two weeks before Sebastian finally answered to accept me for who I am and be willing to make me his wife. Despite having to oppose Amelia's mommy, Sebastian chose me anyway. I should have been happy, but it turned out that my heart was empty because my intention from the start was to get you instead of Sebastian.

After Sebastian officially proposed to me, I was worried about not having Sebastian's child but yours. Again my evil will gets a chance. You could have come to a meeting at the cafe at that time, but usually you always refuse. And that's where I did it all, I let you plant a seed in my womb and my wish was granted. A few days before my wedding with Sebastian, I deliberately did a pregnancy test and happy when I found line two. Your seed has grown in my womb.

Everything was done well but it seems like God didn't allow me to lie to Sebastian. I was caught pregnant from exhaustion with all the preparations and processions of our marriage. I accept all the consequences and promise never to reveal yourself as Raven's real father.

My bad deeds turned out to have a big impact on my parents. Papa and Mama were so embarrassed to accept the fact that I had played with Richard Pratama's only son. Although Om Richard did not do something that completely destroyed papa's career, but such great shame made papa retreat from the world of lawyers. I who did not want to get stuck in a difficult life finally accepted the offer of Romi, a client of the company I interned at. I rejected Romi when I was Sebastian's girlfriend and we met again when I returned to Indonesia after giving birth to Raven.

Romi gave me abundant treasure as long as I became his bedmate and two conditions that I had to fulfill. I can't get pregnant and Raven can't be a hindrance to our relationship.

Overconfident and arrogant made me ignore the tears of Romi's legitimate wife who knew that I was her husband's bed-bearer. I completely broke the heart of a wife who had already given 2 beautiful daughters to her husband. I wish I could still get an apology from Romi's wife on the edge of my regrets.

And again I have to meet Kirana. My self-esteem was disturbed when I found out that Kirana was the woman who made Sebastian rise from disappointment to me in less than six months. While I ? Shera, the perfect woman with a successful career must find a way to conquer Sebastian more than six months. Instead of learning from experience, I build hatred for Kirana. Especially since Raven also loved the girl and called her mama ! Seeing Raven whining at the mall broke my heart as a mother. I carried her for nine months in my womb, but my son cried over another woman he thought was a mother, and again she was Kirana.

I'm looking for any way to make her hate you and Sebastian, I want to ruin Kirana's life to the point of being left alone. Because at first, I assumed that Kirana was the cause of a lot of chaos in my life. But everything is wrong. From the beginning, envy and arrogance were the cause. Growing up as a perfect woman and never getting rejected made me live in self-importance.

Unfortunately, every effort always ends in failure. It seems like God did make Kirana and Sebastian protect each other and take care of each other. Kirana seems to have many guardian angels around her including Aunt Amelia.

If I used to be watched by Aunt Amelia for fear that I would do anything outside that would hurt her son, Kirana was instead given a bodyguard who secretly guarded her from many people who intended to harm her and I was one of them.

Too much shameful envy if I tell you. And after meeting and getting to know Kirana, I finally understood why such a simple and mediocre woman could captivate the hearts of the two Pratama men. Heart beauty.

With Pratama's status and big name, it's easy for you and Sebastian to get beautiful women on par. Many options may even be many who queue to get your love. But it could be all just pseudo. All you want is genuine, simple love, which does not choose you because of possessions and thrones, and all of that is with Kirana.

Dear Steven, please,

I'm sorry that I ruined your life, your future and tied you to the presence of a child you never expected.

And I'm grateful that your kindness is still bigger than your hate for me.

I'm happy when you don't mind letting Raven call you papa and I can see how you're trying to accept Raven as your son.

Ever since the DNA test results came out, I've been out of touch with Romi no longer but that man won't let me go. Even when I wanted to part with her and be a real wife to you, Romi asked me to get pregnant with her child. On the grounds of wanting to have a son's offspring, it forced me to get pregnant.

That's when I was really disgusted with myself. A proud woman who sees her beauty only in terms of physical but can not maintain her purity.

I want to go home and stay with you even if you don't want to talk to me, doing my job as a wife. But my life is tied to Romi. Two weeks she locked me up and did it every chance I could get pregnant. And everything happens. I only found out the day before the family meal before your departure.

I persuaded Romi and asked permission so that I could come to dinner that day and finally Romi let me go home and told me to come back after you left for Papua.

Romi threatened me if he dared to run away from her. You and Raven are his guarantee. I hate my situation, Steven. Disgusted and feeling dirty. I wanted to kill myself to be free from Romi. But given the threat, I won't let Romi harm you or Raven. What came to my mind was either to eliminate Romi or to vanish with him.

I'm gonna figure out a way to solve everything, Steven. Because in the end I realized that I really love you. I want to do whatever it takes to get your forgiveness and the chance to be your life partner. Simply by being by your side, I will be happy even if you consider me not to exist.

I make sure when I receive this letter you will no longer be bothered by Romi even by myself who always mess up your life.

Thank you Steven, thank you for this wonderful seven months. I was really happy when I heard Raven call you papa and laugh with you.

I pray that you will find the woman you love and love. Stop loving Kirana because she is happy with Sebastian. Wouldn't true love let her loved one sip happiness even if not with her ?

Thank you for taking the time to read my letter. If I may say so, this is my first and last love letter to you.

Forgive all I have done to you and thank you for acknowledging Raven as your flesh and blood.

My prayer is always with you

Sheras.

Steven placed the letter back in his desk drawer and cupped his face with both palms.

There was no deep sadness felt in his heart, only being grateful that Shera finally realized all his deeds and regretted them.

Steven took a long breath. It may be time to open your heart to another woman. Someone who can accept him as a widower with one child. Who could love Steven and Raven as sincerely as heart.