I'm Not Ready
Red Velvet versus chocolate

All day long God was kept in his hotel. Until the afternoon, he had just seen a message from his mother Arumi sent since last afternoon on his cellphone.

God stopped by for a while at his aunt's cake shop. And still remember very well, if his ex-girlfriend likes red velvet cake. Although when telling the clerk of the cake shop, God remembered his wife at home. Then buy the same Mega cake with a different taste, namely chocolate.

Not long until the hospital. Due to the short distance, Olivia's pastry shop with the hospital where Arumi is being treated.

"God.." greet the happy big smile of Clarisa's mother who stopped feeding her daughter porridge from the hospital for dinner.

"Sorry Aunt, I'm late."

"No gods, your arrival is precious to aunty's daughter. You're willing to come, auntie's happy." Clarisa's mother then took a moment out to Arumi and the Gods. Clarisa's mother gives time to both of them. And maybe that's what Arumi's daughter expected.

After Clarisa's mom shut the door. The god stepped closer at the side of his former lover. And all that was not trimmed in the slightest from the gaze of Arumi who had since looked at her.

"I bribe, you continue eating huh?" the honest God asked could not yet be indifferent one hundred percent to Arumi. Especially if you look at the situation lying on the bed patient's bed and can't do anything.

Arumi nodded. Honestly that night he was happy. The arrival of God proves, if the man still cares about him and can not be full of ignoring him just like that.

Some mouthfuls make it into the oral cavity safely. And there was no word other than the actions of the God who was so painstakingly feeding Arumi, as well as wiping the area of Arumi's beard that was wet from the hospital's soto menu that night.

"I also bought your favorite cake." The god then opened the cake from his cardboard. There was a white plastic knife in the cardboard and God sliced it up a bit for him to give it to Arumi. Putting the cake slowly went back into Arumi's mouth. And the two smiled with long gazes they did not emit.

"Thank you" said Arumi, who after smiling did not release her eyeballs from the man she had long missed.

"Either. Arumi, if you'll excuse me, it's late." The god who focused his pair of eyes onto the watch that was coiled around the wrist.

Arumi's eyeballs are glazed. Not strong with everything that happened to him. Until the man who once filled his days, could go break the rope of love and leave it. "Are you still going to see me tomorrow?"

For a moment the God fell silent and hid his two hands on the pocket of his covering pants. And after that, he nodded and smiled faintly.

There was a choice of shaking his head and answering couldn't, but God really didn't have the heart to Arumi. Not what? Given the wounds he gave, it would not just heal. It's gonna take a long time. Intentionally, nodding and meaning yes, it is because Arumi can be invited to work together to end all his decisions. Although he had to end up lying in this place, it must have been all because of him.

No kiss, no rubbing on the head. Without any ritual the god went slowly away from the place where his ex-lover was lying.

Which was stared nanar by Arumi with no resistance until the fall of a clear circle that continues without stopping. His chest ached immediately, as the God walked away without a word that night. Good night, too romantic maybe for them again.

Wh why? Why as if now just want to say things that used to be ordinary and used to be difficult to ask for forgiveness. The lips of the God were even locked. It was as if I was guarding Mega's feelings very carefully.

.

.

In-house.

"Why did you come home once a night?" ask Rahma's mother to her son.

"Yes ma. Hotel in booking event for wedding since morning. God is tired, God wants to go up."

Rahma's mother could only sigh. Very familiar with his eldest son, if he finished meeting Arumi, but the Gods are not good at getting around the expression, until it can be concluded.

Upon entering the room, the Gods were shocked by Mega who had not slept and was still watching television.

"You haven't slept?"

Mega shakes.

Mega follows slowly to descend and they meet in the kitchen. "Here let me aja kak," said Mega who then cut the cake that was originally wanted cut by God. Mega can see if in the receipt of the purchase there are two cakes that are red velvet cake that actually does not seem to be seen. A chocolate cake, which they were about to eat together. "It's brother." Mega put down a small white plate containing the pieces of cake she had just cut.

"Thank you dear," where God immediately put the piece of cake into his mouth greedily.

Mega smile. "Where's my brother from?"

God finished the cake that entered his mouth. Though in his mind was thinking whether he should be honest or lie to Mega?

The god did not answer and chose to stand. Slide the dining chair and leave. "I'm gonna take a shower, baby." The god then went up to the second floor of his room.

Meanwhile, Mega, can only look at the back of her husband who disappeared from behind the bedroom door. Slowly stroking his stomach repeatedly, with a little difficult breathing because the more enlarged his stomach.

And then the gods after bathing. Only then did he say if he finished visiting Arumi from the hospital.

Mega expected it. If the red velvet cake was for Arumi.

For the next few days something similar happened. The gods always visit Arumi after returning home from work and arrive home late from ten o'clock in the evening.

Realize, if what he did could be wrong in the eyes of his wife. Makes the Gods want to melt the frozen atmosphere between the two. "Darling, later tonight I'll take you out to eat," said the God who had no wind no rain. "You'll be ready later."

Sure, Mega was happy to hear that. Where during the day, Dewa reminded Mega not to forget and overslept. Where at five in the afternoon, Dewa reminded via WhatsApp chat to Mega to get ready. But what has changed direction. Suddenly God resigned and did not refuse when his mother Arumi asked God to take them home. Which he thought would be a moment. It turns out that Clarisa's mother invited him to talk to make God forget the promise of dinner with his wife. "Mega," she frantically drove her four-wheeled vehicle to high speed.

The god ran from the garage to his room. He found his wife not in the room and ran back down to catch up with her who might still be at the restaurant they had agreed to.

But immediately his steps stopped, seeing Mega just out of the online taxi and they looked at each other from a distance. The god immediately approached his wife, but not on Mega with his cold attitude which slowly walked because of his large belly.

"I'm sorry, honey. I forgot," said the God who did not know how to.

Mega kept going. Holding back from earlier not to cry ended up not being strong either. He finally shed tears, where his eyeballs are not strong enough to hold back against what is felt.

The quarrel between the two is inevitable. "Darling I'm sorry dear," said the Lord, pleading.

"Until when, brother? Until when will you play with Mega's feelings?" of course by crying as much as he tried to close with both palms.

"Darling, I'm sorry." The gods do not stop repeating the same words. Because it is not appropriate for him to defend himself. "His mother Arumi suddenly contacted. And I drove them home because today, is Arumi's return from the hospital."

"Oh, so because of him again? Because of her again?" Mega is not strong, because Arumi and Arumi are constantly.

"I beg you to understand, dear. He lay in the coma all because of us," cried God to Mega understand that Arumi had sacrificed her heart for them.

"So, you're trapped again by continuing to care about whatever happened to Arumi?" Mega does not lose wanting to know if her husband's heart is not divided again.

"Darling..."

"Sister!"

"It's not like that..."

"In reality it's so big brother." Mega quickly cuts off the unfinished words of the Gods and leaves.

SERIATE