Rajasa
Growths

Nurmala felt herself growing into someone better and wiser especially in love affairs.

His first love taught that love is not just about satisfying the eyes let alone thirst. Responsibility and loyalty are the essence of love itself.

Love becomes meaningless without responsibility and faithfulness. Just a thirsty quench.

The second love teaches. Sincerity needed. Responsibility is not only in the form of material and fulfillment of inner needs but also sincerity. Inner needs are basic needs but not necessarily a reason to survive in a relationship. Without sincerity. Everything will feel difficult to maintain let alone continue. Everything in a marriage is a burden.

Marriage itself is a burden. The baby born of marriage is also a burden. Love becomes meaningless without any sincerity in it. Similar but not the same as the first marriage.

Her third marriage taught the essence of marriage. It is not love or lust that binds a marriage. Except commitment.

Marriage can survive because of the fulfillment of rights and obligations. Marriage does not mean the satisfaction of biological needs. Even though it is one of the purposes of marriage.

Which makes a marriage last because the couple is committed in maintaining its continuity.

Through commitment. Responsibility, loyalty, fulfillment of rights and obligations are carried out in accordance with their respective abilities.

Sincerity in a marriage is needed. Because marriage is not always perfection but how can accept imperfections as part of the process of perfecting marriage itself.

The love between family members must also be intertwined. Seeing Ryan love Amelia like his own daughter. Making Nurmala very happy and accepted their existence both one package by Ryan.

He felt Ryan taught him to grow. It's just, unfortunately their marriage will only last a lifetime of corn. Because the marriage took place as camouflage to cover her pregnancy.

But if he can be honest. Ryan is the man of his dreams. Dream husband. But unfortunately, his heart was only for Edelweis and not himself.

Ryan teaches the meaning of sincerity and dedication. Love is so beautiful and holy.

Being with Ryan is like having new hope. Honored, respected and loved as a couple.

Couples are not defined as exploits. Of manipulation. But someone who must be appreciated, respected and loved by his existence.

Genuine love and care. Shaking all his feelings. Frankly, he was already apathetic about love.

Love is a face full of hurt and sorrow. Make numb. Because it feels so intimidating and exhausting.

Exploitation and manipulation are two masks of love that make him doubt love itself.

Love forced her to protect herself from pain. Of all the pain and sadness and anger.

Love drips wounds after wounds. In her heart that is fragile. But he bandaged it with a heart as strong as iron. His experience of love taught him not to trust the deceptive face of love.

Hearts cannot be rejected. Drop by drop the wounds that love incised. Makes his iron heart peel. Ryan is like a paint that can cover all the rust of love.

Nurmala's stomach is growing. They did not feel they were married for seven months. Two to three months later they will be separated.

Ryan gently kissed Nurmala's protruding stomach. Manage him friendly.

"Don't be like that. I thought you wanted her presence and loved me as well as my two children. As soon as this child was born. We're getting a divorce." Nurmala's words are poignant. She did not feel this way when she divorced her two previous husbands. Why is it so hard to part with Ryan?

"I love you and your children. How ever you're my wife. Your children, though not my flesh and blood. But I really like kids."

"If only you didn't love Edelweis. Are we getting a divorce?"

"I don't know."

"Why not know?"

"I don't know."

"Are you going to leave us if you never knew Edelweis?"

"Eitherway! Maybe I won't leave you. I already feel like you're all part of my family."

Nurmala's face heats up holding haru back. Eyes scolding.

"You can't be with Edelweis."

"Sir Rajasa has regretted it and promised never to do it again."

"You believe it?"

"Eitherway. But I think he meant what he said."

"He's staying away from you because of your pregnancy. If you weren't pregnant. Is he going to let you go?"

"What do you mean?"

"Just answer my question."

"We're no longer in touch."

"Because you're pregnant. He doesn't want everything to be broken. Not because he regretted what he did and tried to fix it."

"You're wrong! We're no longer in touch. My pregnancy was unintentional. I didn't take my pills because I thought he just wanted to talk."

"Is that how you say goodbye? You guys are still in touch. You're pregnant and it just stopped. What do you want me to judge him like?"

"The truth is it's over."

"Eitherway! It's all confusing for me. I just want to protect Edelweis but I don't know how to."

"I think you should give them and us a chance. That'll solve the problem."

"No problem can be solved when it comes to trust issues."

"I.." Nurmala swallowed her words back.

"You what?"

"Hmm, no. I'm it's okay. But I think you're overreacting to something. There's no problem. You're making it a problem." Nurmala tried to express her feelings. But she's just a woman. In the end, he had to swallow all his words.

He had no face to say what was in his heart and mind.

"You don't think much. You're pregnant." Ryan kissed Nurmala's forehead.

"Can I, Amalia and the baby I've got live three?"

"Could certainly! You are a strong and independent woman. Most importantly, don't repeat it again. If you marry again. Don't pick another man's husband."

Nurmala nodded her head, "I have no plans of remarrying."

"Just whatever. How comfortable you are. If you don't marry again. You can focus more on your job and your kids. You better not marry again."

"How are you?"

"I don't know yet but I'll take care of Edelweis. I'll keep an eye on Rajasa and make sure he doesn't hurt him anymore. Or I'll take Edelweis from his side."

"Can I hold you?" Ask Nurmala. His heart felt troubled and sad.

"You why?" Ryan held Nurmala's forehead. 

"I'm fine. My pregnancy makes my hormones unstable." Tears dripped down both sides of her cheeks.

Ryan grabbed Nurmala's body and grabbed her. Something warm was flowing through Nurmala's bloodstream. Shedding all her tears and weight into Ryan's embrace.

"Just let go of all your burdens." Ryan rubbed Nurmala's hair. Gently caress his back.

Nurmala spilled all her tears. All the burdens that hit him seemed to be scrambling out. 

Many say women are weak creatures and should be protected. But in reality, women are creatures who have to protect themselves and have to stay strong. Despite exploitation and manipulation.