Rajasa
Reckless

Nurmala spilled her grief at home. She had already lowered her pride pleading with Edelweis to release her husband.

How stupid he is. If Edelweis had intended to release her husband. He didn't need to beg her much less humiliate himself like that. Letting Edelweis insult him for his own stupidity. Edelweis will voluntarily relinquish without being asked. Maybe just trying to stay away and release her husband.

When women love. He will try to keep as strong as he can. Like a rope that has started to break. He will try to hold it as he can. Even if the rope is slippery. He will try to cover it with ashes. Maintain until the last second.

While men are the opposite. When he wanted to let go, he would not think twice. Even if the rope is still firmly intertwined. He would try to release them one by one until there was nothing left. Just leave it aside. Not giving a choice.

Even if Ryan allows Nurmala to survive and polygamize them both. As Ryan said. It could be that Nurmala will be hurt if Ryan is not able to do justice. And it always comes first Edelweis. I don't know. Nor did he intend to convert Ryan to polygamy but to keep them attached to each other. Forever. Whatever the circumstances.

I can't lose Ryan. I'm going crazy. I don't know what it's like to lose this much loved one. It's as jealous as watching our loved ones choose another. Is this what it was like when I hurt Edelweis? Slashing his heart with a sharp dagger. Scraping it without feeling.

I didn't mean to hurt. I just want to protect my own interests. I don't want to lose Ryan. She's the love I've been looking for all this time. It would be stupid to just let go.

I cannot change the desire of the two to be together. Maybe they have been waiting for it for a long time. Only time has not yet come. But soon all will manifest the desire of both. They will step together. Happily forever.

Nurmala wiped away the clear droplets of her falling tears. Gently stroked his increasingly bulging stomach. The baby will be born in a matter of days. His heart is so sad.

At least I've been fighting for my happiness. The rest is not important anymore. Stupid is if you don't do the stupidity to try to fight for your own happiness. No one ever knows the end result. Only, he felt defeated and helpless. Can only put everything in. Prepare to receive everything with a chest roomy. In the end, it all depends on destiny. There is a line between effort and prayer. And the line of the Almighty.

I will try to raise Amalia and the baby I have alone. Love only cuts wounds. Three times to love. Three times disappointed.

His father Amalia was not able to take responsibility by birth. Just want to give it inwardly. Either the wrong circumstances that make him unable. Or it can't and will. Plus affair. Not born and cheated. Very cruel and deeply traumatizing.

Meet Rajasa amid his limitations as a widow. Get everything he needs. It's just that the relationship between them isn't love in the real sense. Just using each other. Love but not true. In the context of needing each other.

If her husband's first marriage is taken by the actor. The second marriage was her acting career. It's all over at last. Because the relationship between them is purely mutually utilising. Nothing weighs both.

Third marriage, teaches and introduces the true meaning of love. He thought about finding his true love. Because it is very different from his father Amalia and Rajasa.

He feels comfortable, secure, at ease and also feels love in the true sense. Just like a woman loves a man. I don't know if Ryan feels the same way. Or indeed there is only Edelweis in his mind and heart.

Ryan is different. Touching his heart and soul just like that. It's just, even though he loves her so much. But it feels very far away and not affordable at all.

He felt jealous of the Edelweis that Ryan loved as sincerely as his heart and soul. But what can he do? He has done everything he has to do. Just waiting for the results. There was nothing more he could do.

He has already expressed his feelings for Ryan. Begged Edelweis to let him go. There was no way he would force the two to comply with his wishes. There is nothing but waiting.

If her marriage to Ryan is over. She is determined to live her life alone with Amalia and the baby she contains. His income as a secretary was enough to support the needs of the three of them.

Not all love is as beautiful as a rainbow. Shining brightly like the sun. Light shines like the moon. Colorful as flowers. Just as Khalil Gibran said follow love even with his sword he hurt you. That is the face of his love for Ryan.

His heart was dripping blood. The soul scratches the wound and the sore. But he keeps following where love takes him. Even with his sharp sword wielding right at his chest. Making a gaping wound. Love is not just a gratification of lust. Maybe it's the lowest form of love. That was before I met Ryan.

Both of her previous marriages. Just oriented to lust. There is no love or affection. But he still called it love. Because the face of love is different.

If only, he had met Ryan first. Will Ryan choose him or will he choose Edelweis?

If only, they were married before Ryan knew Edelweis. Maybe he could have Ryan forever. Ryan said he would accompany her for forty days after giving birth. Before he was truly holy.

Suddenly a plan came along. Which made him shiver. God, forgive me! Maybe I shouldn't think like this. But I can't bear it if I lose it. Let me try one last time. Give it a chance and let it go. Aamiin yaa robbal ‘alaamiin.

He closed his eyes. I can't believe he had that plan. Looks like the plan will work if it goes smoothly. But the problem is, will God allow, will and predestine it?

I have no other way but to try. I'm certain. Ryan would never leave me. Forever.

 Not a decent way. But it's worth to give a try. I know this time you will me mine, forever....

Once again he had to cheat Edelweis.  I didn't do it out of spite or heartache for you. I know I'm guilty of taking your husband. But this time, I really can't lose Ryan. True love in my life. At least, before I gave up and was forced to let him run at you. Let me try one last time. I didn't ask for much. And I don't need your approval and acceptance. I hope you don't cry a second time. You forced me and urged me to do it. You're trying to take what's not yours. And ignore what is really yours. Rajasa.

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