Love Bersemi In Turkey
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I asked him to wait. He sits on the couch. I went to the bathroom for ablution. After that I put on the hijab and took the Qur'an from my room and returned to the living room.

When he saw what I was carrying, he shook his head as he rolled his eyeballs, then got up from his seat. But I prevented it, I encouraged her to sit back. I sat down next to her, then opened Mary's letter. What a beautiful letter.

I looked towards Vian as I recited the part I had memorized. He closed his eyes. He looked so calm and peaceful. When I looked closer, I saw something that made my eyes widen. I looked at her lips and it turned out that she was following my reading. How could he memorize this letter? Doesn't he believe in his own religion?

I closed my eyes to calm myself down because I knew if I stopped reading, he would stop too and I didn't want that. I want him to feel the same as I felt when I read the Qur'an. I feel peace and quiet.

'He was once a Muslim too. Be patient in guiding her back to the right path, ' the strange voice spoke again, making me smile faintly at hearing it.

I could not stop reading, my tears began to flow. It's not like I'm the one teaching. It felt like I couldn't stop him after I saw Vian following my reading.

"Aamiin" I said, closing the Koran after hours of reading it. I turned my gaze towards Vian, curious about her reaction.

"Vian?" I said in a soft voice. I can't make him angry. That's not what I need.

“Hmm .. ” he said, busy with his phone he just picked up from his pocket.

"Why don't you believe me anymore?" I ventured to ask. He turned towards me and I again saw anger in his eyes.

"That's none of your business. Don't think that just because I'm being weak today means I'll be nice to you. No one can replace Liza. It will never!" said firmly.

I scrunched my forehead. What does he see in his mind? Why does he think I'm going to take Liza's place?

"I don't plan to replace him, if that's what you've been thinking about me "I replied standing up.

I stared at her for the last time before going to my room, locking myself in it.

***

The following days, whenever I stepped closer to him, he always avoided me. Everything is as it was, I am no one to him. Not even being friends. Perhaps even, he no longer considered me to exist, even if only as someone who lived with him.

And after that, he had always behaved like that for almost two weeks. He never spoke to me again, he only answered my question briefly. Sometimes they don't even answer.

I don't know what to do, but the only thing I know is to be patient. I still faithfully comforted her when she had nightmares about Liza. And I cried when she cried for Liza. I don't know what else to do.

He always comes home late and I always wait for him. I always hoped he would come and we would have dinner together.

But I'm pretty happy to see him not getting drunk anymore. My father and brother always beat me harder when they were drunk. I'm glad Vian didn't play with me.

Until then, I didn't know what to do when he came home late into the night drunk and his eyes reddened. He's fighting again.

I think he's like a member of the underground and boxing there, because people can certainly not get involved in a lot of fights with thugs in the streets.

I went up to him and did the things I always did. I took off his clothes, looked for wounds on his body, then cleaned them.

"I know we'll never be a real couple, but at least we can be nice to each other, Vian" she said.

Had enough. Tears began to flow down my cheeks, but I would not let it fall. I don't want to cry in front of him. I can't look weak. He looked at me with a strange expression. It was as if, even if I died in front of him, he wouldn't care. He was always a weird expression, and it was always hard to read his expression, and it scared me.

He stood up while I was sitting on the floor. He pushed me until I fell backwards. It hurts - it hurts a lot. The air came out of my lungs but I got up, ignoring my inner protests to stop so I wouldn't be punished.

My hands began to tremble and I could not feel my legs resting, but he did not need to see them.

"Didn't you understand? I will never love you! It will never! I'll never care about you. You wait, every day, until I go home and have dinner with you like a normal couple? You are pathetic. You're nothing. It's absolutely nothing to me. You're not even worth my word. You're a loser who has no one. Yourparents? They're just like me. They know that you are worthless, so they get rid of you!" he said with anger.

I looked into his eyes. I can't be mad at him. He's telling the truth. I'm not who. And never will, never be anyone at all. I've been used to these words since I was born. I'm nodding. He's correct. He's absolutely right!

I don't give a shit. I shouldn't care about this life. If no one cares about me in this life, why should I care about my life?

I felt my legs move and took me running out of the house. I couldn't stand being there for a second. It felt like I couldn't breathe when I was still in there. I ran and ran until my feet came to a standstill when I reached a dark alley. On ordinary days, I wouldn't even dare to walk here, but I don't care. It's dangerous but I don't care. I let my tears flow, breathing heavily.

I noticed a shadow figure in the alley. I walked closer. How surprised I was after seeing that person. He looks very angry. He was drunk, I know that. I can smell the liquor from his body.

Suddenly he turned around and walked over to me. My eyes are terrified. What's he gonna do to me?