Love Bersemi In Turkey
The Foreign Youth

I've been out of the hospital for about a week now.

I asked Vian about what happened to Husam, but he ignored me.

This past week we were fine. He wasn't too close to me, but also not as cold as usual. He's bipolar, and I think I'm stuck with that. Sometimes his attitude is very good, but sometimes he can be very terrible.

“Sadiya, get ready now!” vian said as I was cleaning the house and arranging ornamental plants on the terrace.

I ignored it because I was busy arranging some ornamental plants on the porch of the house. I really like this kind of beauty, it feels peaceful when seen with the eyes. Although not in my life. Or, will it happen someday? When's that gonna happen? Maybe only in dreams. I took a deep breath and let go, hoping that all the burdens of my life would be wasted with that breath.

"Sadiya!" He shouted again and I turned around, looking into his eyes.

“Come get ready now. We want to go to the mall now,” he said while away.

"Why are we going to the mall?" I asked in surprise, he doesn't usually take me to the mall.

"I'll buy you clothes" he replied casually as he passed leaving me still standing.

I thought, maybe he saw the contents of my closet that was almost empty. I was happy, it turned out that he was still watching me, but I was feeling a bit nervous. I don't want to embarrass myself, I don't want him spending his money on me. But I don't know how to refuse.

***

"Vian, where did you get all this money?" I asked as she forced me to try on an expensive dress. I didn't even want to try it but she looked at me with a gaze that seemed to give me no other choice.

"My father had his own business. We design menswear and sell it to brands all over the world. Next year I'll take over. And .. well, I was born rich" he replied with a bit of pride.

Really it? He rich? But ... but why would he get involved with a gang if he already had the money? Ah already! Why should I think about it?

I decided not to ask because this is not the right time and place, so I immediately went to the dressing room and tried on the dress. It was a long dress that covered my entire body.

It was a little narrow on the side of his shirt, but it wasn't too narrow, but one could see a slight curve of my body.

I threw a last look at the mirror and tried to let Vian see. He looked from head to toe making me a little uncomfortable.

"How's it?" I asked her, I really wanted to know if she liked it.

"Not good" he said.

I immediately felt bad. I should have known that I wasn't pretty so how could this dress look good on me.

"No, that's not what I meant. You look beautiful, but the shirt is a bit tight" she said later.

I nodded and immediately turned around to hide my reddened face due to the compliments he made.

***

After shopping we went to the restaurant for lunch. We ate together, but only quietly, making me unable to speak.

"Vian, I want to ask you something" I said suddenly.

"Continue saying, what do you want to ask?" he said after frowning because I suddenly wiped his chin.

"Before, you always said 'don't touch me'. Why?" I ventured to ask. He stopped eating.

"That's all .. because of Li-" she doesn't continue. He seems afraid to say it.

He stood up while putting the money on the table, then walked out. I looked at him in disbelief, then immediately chased after him. I immediately caught his arm.

It was raining heavily but I didn't care and I'm glad we left the stuff we bought in the car.

"Vian, wait!" I shouted but he walked very fast.

I ran faster and finally managed to step in front of him. He didn't try to run anymore but still didn't want to see me.

"Sorry, I'm just-" I can't even finish what I'm about to say.

"Don't you understand?! Difficult for me! Pretending nothing happened is hard and painful! It's painful to touch you even if not in a romantic way. Because, I have promised, in the depths of my heart, I have promised in the name of the love of my life that I will never," he said then walked to the car without seeing me at all.

He wasn't even waiting for me to get into his car, his car just drove by. My tears are flowing. He's back to making things so hard for me. I wanted to be a good person and make him a good person as well, but he wouldn't let me do it.

Maybe I don't deserve to have friends. Even the strange voice that always spoke to me and gave me that advice, now does not speak to me anymore.

I sat on the ground hugging my knees. I'm the useful one! I'm the ugly one! I am the pathetic one! Every word they say to me comes back to my memory. I closed my ears because I could hear them shouting those words to me. I closed my eyes and opened them, feeling that the voice would not speak.

I opened my eyes, and that's when I saw a hand reaching out to me.

When I looked up, I saw a young man I had seen on the bus and in the mall when I was with Salma. A young man who made me feel something strange.

"Who .. who are you?" my question while trying to stand on my own, ignoring the outstretch of his hand.

He smiled a little. He's weird and foreign. But, somehow I didn't feel afraid to face him, unlike when I was dealing with a stranger usually.

"My name is Kenzo" he said.

It was still raining and we were standing in the rain. I felt a tension in the air, different from anything I had ever felt before. It makes me wonder what it is. It was a strange feeling. A feeling I cannot explain, for there is not a single word to describe it.

He looked at me with dark brown eyes and smiled as if he could not move his face to stop smiling, like a child who had just found his long-lost toy.

"I've seen you before" I said a little nervously.

He smiled as he approached my ear.

"Don't let anyone hurt you. We'll meet again" he said.

He stroked my head. After that, he left. I looked at him and saw him go away.