Love Bersemi In Turkey
Divorcement

During these three days, everything went as usual. Every day, I wake up early and pray, after that breakfast with the guards. Then I would clean the house or pray all day, sometimes I felt bored.

I thought hard, where will I stay after I get divorced with Vian? Will Vian help me find a home for me? I don't need a big house, I just need a place to shelter.

He is right! I have nowhere else to go. He's not as bad as I thought. Why did I decide that divorce.

Divorce ... When I think of that word, my heart hurts, because deep down I don't want that.

I felt happy when I woke up next to him. I feel very comfortable when I am around him. I remembered the feeling as I hugged her and she was just shocked. I knew I had to help him. I had to help her get back on the right path, but I couldn't do that anymore. He needs help, but not from me. He needed a strong woman who would melt his heart. I can't do it, I'm too weak ... How could I possibly change it. A woman can never change a man unless he loves her. And he'll never love me.

But without him, I feel very lonely. Will I always feel like this? Or will I get used to it? I closed my eyes to hear the strange sound again. Who knows, that strange voice might tell me what to do.

I tried it for three days but it didn't work. It seemed like the strange sound was disappearing. I'm sure that strange voice will return, but why did he leave me alone in the time when I had to make the most difficult decision?

Salma found a lawyer and she helped me with the divorce. His friend was a lawyer so it was easy for him.

I know that it's not easy to get divorced and it's only the third day after I've made this decision. I ignored him and closed my eyes. These days are so tiring that I can't open my eyes anymore.

***

While I was still asleep, I suddenly felt a softness in my cheeks. It feels comfortable, and warm ... I curled up in search of that source of warmth, I didn't want that feeling to fade away. I inhaled a scent that was no stranger to me, a scent that I longed for. Slowly I started to wake up, I opened my eyes and was shocked. I widened my eyes when I saw Vian's face right in front of my eyes.

He knelt on the edge of the bed, while I was still lying in front of him. His hand still touches my cheek. His eyes were red, his face was a bit pale. He stared at my bead for a while, he didn't turn his face away and neither did I.

"Vian .. "my words are soft. He did not waste his face nor did he answer. I grabbed her hand from my cheek, then she wove our fingers. I forgot about everything back then I was still enjoying being with him. I forget that this togetherness is coming to an end.

"Don't ... Don't do that .. Ii'm sorry. I know I'm a mess, I'm the biggest mess alive. But please, don't do that" he said, pleading. I know he's talking about the divorce.

"Why?" I asked him. Wasn't he the one who gave me a reason to get out of his life. And I'm going to get away from her with this divorce, then why now does she want the account to stop her? He's a freak.

"I just ... Need you. You're the only person who doesn't hate me after all the things I did to you ... I don't know why, but sometimes I feel happy when I'm around you" he said later.

"Vian, we'll only hurt each other if we keep together. You will never be able to forget Liza so you will always be angry if anyone tries to take her place. It will continue to hurt both of us, and make my heart ache when I'm around you" I said. We held hands and looked at each other.

"Please, stay with me .." she pleaded. But still, it won't make me change my decision. We hurt each other enough. We both can't keep living together. Nothing will change, her feelings for Liza will never change.

"Say, have you ever felt happy when you were with me? Tell me, even if it's just for a minute?" He asked me. Why would he ask that? Why is he asking the same question I asked him. Wasn't it when I asked him the same thing, he always replied that no one could replace Liza.

"Sometimes, I'm the happiest person ." I said, recalling moments when his presence made me feel better.

Vian wore a strange expression, as if he was solving a puzzle.

"Please don't end this relationship .. I need your support now for all the things I have to deal with .." she said, her eyes looking tired.

I know it. I know that he has to deal with a lot of things. I caressed her cheek and she bowed.

"No .. I don't think it's gonna work anymore. It will never work .." I said softly. His face was sluggish. He needed help, he really needed it. He deserves to live in peace but that's not my job anymore. I can't change it.

"I knew. I always forced you to stay away, because I knew you would leave someday. I was so afraid to let someone else into my life again. You know, it hasn't been long since he left ... Why can't you understand that I'm trying? I'm trying to accept someone new" he said slowly.

I pressed my forehead against her forehead and she closed her eyes before opening it again. Then, he looked at me fixedly on my bead.

I closed my eyes to hear the strange sound. Maybe that strange sound will come now. I try to focus and smile when I hear it.

'Everyone deserves a chance. God did not give it to you without reason. Try to find that reason. It was too soon to part from him. One day he will believe in God. He needs help, and you're the right person. Ask for guidance from Allah.' said the strange voice.

"Give me time to think" I said. He took a deep breath and then nodded. I smiled at him.

After that we both closed our eyes. Sleep well, that's what we both need now.

***