Love Bersemi In Turkey
Unuseful

I came home trembling. The air feels very cold.

I went inside, I felt both hot and cold at the same time. Maybe I started to get a fever because I was outside in the rain and shivering like this.

Vian's not home and I don't see his car either. I sighed and went to the bathroom to take a bath with warm water, because I couldn't stand this cold anymore.

While taking a shower, I thought of that strange sound. Why doesn't that strange voice speak to me anymore? I closed my eyes and concentrated, hoping for the strange sound to reappear. But there is absolutely nothing. Not a single word. How strange. Am I starting to be normal?

When I had just combed my wet hair, Vian suddenly came home and immediately staggered in. I looked at him and my eyes were wide. His eyes were red and his face was pale. His breath was puffing and his path was limping. Troubled, he tried to sit on the sofa, but he fell down and sat on the floor.

"How can you go home like this?" I asked in wonder. How can he drive if he can't even walk.

"With te-friends," he said stammering. I let out a breath. I don't want to see it like this.

“If you answer the call of Allah to pray and pray, Allah will surely answer your request by giving you what you want. Please Vian, just try it once. I'm sure everything will be fine,” I said, hoping he didn't snap.

I didn't know what to do to make her feel better, so I thought that praying would make her feel better. However, he looked at me strangely instead, as if I was crazy.

"You think I don't know that? Before ... I always prayed .. but it was never granted," he said.

I rolled my eyeballs and knelt beside him. "Look at me, Vian. God knows what is best for his servant. If God doesn't give you something, it means it's not the best thing for you. . Maybe, if God gave you Liza, you'd be worse off than before. Perhaps, you will experience more things than you have experienced now. We don't know that. Maybe it was destined to be like that for us .. that we are married," I said, whispering the last part.

I don't know where all those words came from, somehow they just came out of my mouth. Vian shouldn't have heard that. But, Vian just kept quiet, not saying anything.

He sat still, his head slumped between his knees, and his hands clenched. I grabbed her hand, then fused our fingers. He immediately let go of his hand without even seeing me.

"I made a promise to him" he said firmly.

"But he's not here anymore! He's dead! He won't come here to say that you have to take your hands off me. He won't come here to tell you that you broke all your promises to him. He's not here anymore, Vian!" I said unconsciously. I put my hand on my mouth in surprise. What did I just say? He can do the worst because of what I say, I'm sure of that.

"Yes ... You're correct. He is dead .. He left me" he said as he walked into his room without saying anything more.

***

I stared at the gift I had prepared in my hand. I was nervous, very nervous. I don't know how he'll react when he sees this gift. What if he's angry? What if he doesn't like it? I shook my head. I know he likes that watch, because I saw him a long time ago in the store.

I don't want him to do the same thing that my family did to me. But I wanted to give this gift to her, only to see her smile.

I heard the door open and immediately looked up at the door I had been waiting for. Vian took off his jacket and shoes and walked towards me.

"Hey," he said and sat down on the sofa, unbinding his tie. He looked tired and tired.

"Wa alaikum salam," hwabku deliberately and he just rolled his eyeballs.

It was something we often did when he came home. He won't give up on saying 'hey' and I won't give up answering with a 'submarine aleykum'. I realized there was a small box in my hand.

"I have something for you" I said and handed the little box to her. He had to open it to see what it was. He looked puzzled by the raised eyebrows and slowly took them away from me.

"For me?" he asked in confusion and I nodded. He looked at the gift once more and then looked at me, then looked at the gift in confusion.

"Open," I said. He shook his head a little but kept opening it. He saw the contents of the gift, a watch. Then back to looking at me. I smiled at him expectantly. I hope he likes it. He smiled back but then returned it to me.

"No, Vian, this is for you" I said. But he just left.

"Vian, stop" I said, carrying the watch. I immediately grabbed her arm, then forced her to wear it. He didn't move and let me put the watch on his wrist. When I finished putting it on, she looked at me and stood up.

"Why are you doing this?" tanyakanya.

"What?" many wonder.

"Why don't you just run away from this house? You instead bought me a strange gift while I gave you nothing but to hurt you" he said in surprise. He took a few steps towards me, forcing me to retreat, looking into his eyes.

"Why? Why Sadiya? Give me a reason why you're still in si-" I'm not letting him finish.

"Because I don't have a place to go to where I should go! I can't go back to my parents' house, they won't accept me. I have no friends, no other family. I have nowhere else to go. The only person I have right now is you!" I shouted while pointing towards him.

He stepped closer to the guilt in his eyes but I shook my head. I don't trust him anymore.

"Leave me alone, Vian. I know why I'm unwanted. I am useless. I know that I can't stay here forever. I think I should find my own home after this fake wedding is over. You know why? I don't want to bother you anymore. I'm gonna find a job to finance my own house. Don't bother me. I want to be useful, at least to myself .. "I said as I walked to the door to pick up my jacket.