Love Bersemi In Turkey
How's Marriage?

My drowsiness suddenly disappeared and changed into a sense of uneasiness, for some reason. I got out of bed and put my foot in the living room. I saw Vian's laptop there. I took it and put it on my lap. I just want to get busy until I get back to sleepy.

I saw a file called 'Liza'. I was curious about the contents, but I paused myself to open it because I knew it was her privacy. I just want to surf the Internet until I can sleep again. But I heard people talking, out of nowhere. Then I saw Vian coming out of his room.

"I forgot to say that your parents invited us to dinner tomorrow" he said. He looked at me briefly, then his eyes stared intently at his laptop which was in my lap. I became nervous and lowered my face. I was scared, because he looked at me with angry eyes.

"What are you doing with my laptop!?" he asked in a high tone, then spit. He came up to me and immediately took his laptop rudely from me.

"Nothing, ... I-I just-" I didn't even get to finish my sentence. He looked at the laptop and looked at me. His look was very scary. He walked over to me.

"Did you open it?" tanyanya slow.

'He's gonna start screaming. He'll start screaming, in a minute. Then he'll beat you up. He's gonna destroy you. He will ... ' I dismissed the bad thoughts that always haunted me.

"... No, for God's sake!" i'm firm.

"Tell me the truth, did you see it?" Ask again, still unsure of my answer.

"No, I swear!" I said as I looked into his eyes with confident eyes, that way he would trust me. He threw his last angry look at me before returning to his room.

I sat down and started to catch my breath. "It's okay, he didn't do anything," I tried to console myself.

I got up, stepped into my room and locked the door. Just in case he decides to punish me, just like they used to do.

***

"Sadiyya ... Sadiya!!"

I heard a voice wake me up from my dream. I opened my eyes and woke up, unlocked my door. Does he know my name?

"You know my name?" I asked as if I couldn't believe it. While fixing her watch, she looked at me as if I had just come from another planet. He was neat and ready to go out.

“Of course I know.” he said as he rolled his eyeballs.

"Why did you wake me?" I asked him in wonder.

"The plan has changed. Your parents called and said that we should go have breakfast at their house and we'll have dinner with both families. Goddamnit!" he said he was followed by a curse because he couldn't fix his watch. I rolled my eyeballs. Today started well.

"I don't like it either, so stop with a sharp look" I said as she put on her cold look again, then went to the bathroom before she could say anything.

I saw my face in the mirror. My messy hair always adorned my face, as well as the bags under my eyes. I let the water run and washed my face, looking at my now wet lips and cheeks. Insecurity is always there, always. I don't like what I see, so that's why I always try to avoid the mirror.

"Look at this pathetic of you, marrying that handsome man?" I whispered while looking me in the deadly eye.

"You'll never be like one of those girls!" I said to my own reflection in the mirror, letting my eyes get wet with tears.

Before I knew it, my eyes closed and I felt a headache start to strike. I put my hand on my head and heard a voice. The voice I remember. My body began to sweat, I immediately looked for a place to sit down to calm down.

"God loves you, however you are. Don't do that!" I heard that voice again. It was the same voice as the one on the day I was about to kill myself. But whose voice was that? Who .. Who'sis that? I opened my eyes and looked around. There's no one. I looked around once more but still saw no one. I ignored him, coming out of the bathroom as Vian kept yelling at me to hurry.

***

Now, Vian and I are standing outside my parents' door. The last time I was here was almost a week ago. I threw away that thought, not wanting to remember that wedding day.

Vian pressed the doorbell, and my mother came to open the door.

I rolled my eyeballs. Mothers are always like that to rich people. He would be like that to Vian and his parents. My parents always tried to get whatever they could from rich people like them by being nice.

I was a little nervous as I walked in. We went inside, and even my own mother didn't greet me. It's not a problem for me at all.

We walked into the living room. There I saw Salma. Salma is my sister's fiancee. Even though I'm not used to hanging out with my sister, Salma is the kindest person to me in the world. I don't know what he thinks of my brother. They're more often together outside, not in this house. So, she has absolutely no idea what happened to me. When he asked me about the bruises on my body, my parents told him I was practicing boxing, but I wasn't. Has he ever seen me kick or hit someone?

Salma came up to me and hugged me very tightly.

"Ughs... I can't .. breathe, Salma," I said, trying to smile. He loosened his arms but still hugged me.

"I miss you so much, Sadiya!" he said it in my ear. Then he added in a whisper, “Tanpamu this house is boring." I ignored what he said, not wanting my memories to come back here, to this house.

I greeted everyone and went with Salma upstairs to my old room. When I stepped into my room, I was shocked. Nothing is the same as my old room. My parents have changed everything, even I can't recognize it anymore, can't believe this is my room just yet. Are they waiting for me to leave, just turn it this good?

Salma and I sat on the sofa in my room. Salma started talking to me. "What about your wedding?" ask her while smiling. I think she's been dying to get married, clearly visible from her face.

"It's fine, I think so." I said. He looked at me with a confused look. I try to avoid eye contact with him as much as possible. I'm afraid I can't help but hide everything, about my marriage.

"I thought you'd say that marriage is very fun or that you're very happy." He said in wonder.

"I can't say anything right now, this marriage is only a week. But I think everything's going to be fine" I said. He doesn't trust me much but doesn't ask any further.

I immediately switched the subject. Suddenly, my brother called us for breakfast. My brother and I are the children of my parents. It was as if my brother was their only child. They love my sister very much, but not me! Have I done anything wrong in the past that made them hate me so much? I don't know, I don't know why they treat me that way, and I'm not even sure they're my real parents.

Salma and I walked down. I saw everyone there was ready for breakfast together. I saw an empty chair in front of Vian. I decided to sit there, Vian looked at me for a moment before looking down again, playing with his fork.

“How are you, Sadiya?” ask mom. His face was mocking as if he knew that my marriage was not going well. I was just about to answer my mother's question, but Vian preceded me to speak.

"Our wedding went very well. And we're going on our honeymoon next week" Vian said, looking at the food with a flat expression.

My eyes widened and I was speechless. What the hell is this? Thought. What did he just say .. and why did he say that? Doesn't he hate me so much, and yet he says that?

"Oh really?" ask mom. I'm nodding. I don't know why Vian wants them to think our marriage is okay. But I think it's okay, they don't need to know.

"Yes, I also had a conversation with Sadiya, she said she really enjoyed her marriage" Salma said. I looked at him with wide eyes. He smiled at me while winking at me.

“Oh .. that's good,” said my father, he doesn't sound happy. I don't think they were my parents. Parents should always be with their children, caring for and protecting them. The pain crept into my feelings again, I let anxiety and disappointment rule me. My tears almost fell. I immediately reasoned to go to the bathroom.

I saw my face in the mirror for the second time today. I heard someone climb the stairs and after a while there was a knock on the door. I wiped my tears and opened the door. It was Vian.

"Everything I said was nonsense! I don't want that at all!" vian said angrily. He's trying to scare me. But I was getting used to seeing her ever-angry face, so that I was not at all afraid anymore.

"Why did you say that?" I honestly want to know.

"I don't like them. So I lied to them, why?" he said cynically.

"Why don't you like them?" my many.

“Because, they have trapped me with you. Huh!” said annoyed. And that's the answer I should have heard. He then looked at me for a long time.

"Are you crying?" He asked me, with his eyebrows raised. I shook my head, I didn't want him to know. Without even glancing at her, I dashed down the stairs towards the living room.