Obsessive Love Disorder
Now it's my turn to fight my fears

That day Aditya and I spent time walking around new places across Sumba. Like a waterfall in a hidden and beautiful forest, the waterfall is very wide but shallow, so that I and Aditya can swim freely there. The water is also blue so clear. The sound of the waterfall was so thunderous that it made noise around us. There were a lot of big rocks there but the big trees shut the light in for us. It's like our hidden island. Nature is so unpretentious makes us both happy without anything disturbing.

Then in the afternoon, Aditya took me to a village that was very familiar to me and so crowded with new visitors who also came. Spearfighting event on the cliff of a village.

“What did you bring me here again?” I asked so worried because I was afraid Aditya would come back to do reckless in the spear fighting event.

“We'll just watch” his reply.

“But I'm afraid of blood in, did you forget?” Ask me to stop my steps when we're almost at the big green field on the cliff.

Aditya looked at me so deeply, he clasped my hand and took a breath.

“I always believe in you bi. I want you to believe in me too. All this time my fear and trauma disappeared when I was close to you, and I wanted you to try it. I hope all your fear will go away if I'm by your side,just like I am afraid of heights but you always look up to me and I can fight my fears” Aditya said so deeply.

Aditya was right all this time it was I who always calmed him down and made him believe that everything would be fine. And now I have to make meracaya to him because I also love him so much.

Aditya continued to hold my hand and took me to see the spear fighting event that had a lot of spectators around him.

We sit on a chair that is shaped like a staircase that sits in a stadium. We sit among the visitors and tourists who also watch the event which is only done this February.

The spearfighting event apparently will only start.2 horsemen are already preparing between the two corners. Their custom clothes have been in use, the spear has been held by the player along with a large round shield made of thick iron.

I was afraid, I immediately closed my eyes with my hands because I was so unprepared to see them hurt each other. Aditya touched my hand, he didn't force me to let go of my hand. But the touch of Aditya's hand made me look at him calmly.

“It’s Ok” Aditya said so gently.

Then I slowly lowered my hand from my face, and I calmly saw the spearmanship unfold. Someone was already injured but his blood was still small on his arm. I felt nauseous but Aditya kept stroking my hand. So that I can endure my nausea and dizziness.

The spearfighting event continued to take place very fierce and so sadistic. One of them fell down and his legs were bleeding, I just squinted my forehead by continuing to stare at him by squinting my eyes. Maybe this can be called one when one of the Lawab has lost and finally another challenger advances. Aditya and I continued to watch it until a few hours passed. And we decided to go home because the stomach thrashed me asking for food.

“Where?” Ask Aditya when we were at one of the restaurants and waiting for food.

“What?” I asked him back with his intention.

I'm shaking my shoulder.

“Indeed it does not feel nauseous, just that I still feel sorry to see them even hurt each other” said me by thinking so the danger of the event.

“You're original Bandung, right?” Aditya's question made me nod in confusion.

“Iya” answered me with wonder why he asked the origin of his wife who he had known for a long time.

“Bandung is West Java. If not wrong West Java also has a martial tradition that is Pencak Silat, not his tradition of fighting it also hurts each other huh?” His question made me think.

“But in my area with bare hands in, while here with sharp objects” said I do not want to lose.

Then Aditya laughed at my words.

“Dheb. Our country is a big country. There are many different traditions in each of our provinces and islands. They have their own way of doing things that will make them different from others. Even what makes it is from their ancestors who have a belief with each of their respective religions. They just do their customs bi, it is not possible to hurt each other badly or kill. And this spearfight they only hurt in parts that will heal quickly and do not damage their internal organs. You see, the player was replaced after his opponent was injured and hit by a spear. It was always in the legs and arms, because he said that part will not make them die” Aditya said opening my wider insight.

I looked at him with understanding. Aditya is so smart he also knows very well about his country. He didn't mess around when he said he loved his country so much. Because he proved that he learned a lot about life in our country, not just enjoying it.

I feel ashamed of that.

“Why?” Tanya saw me who was even pouting.

“I'm ashamed of you. You know so much about all their lives, but I never deepened my knowledge about them. I just enjoy the beauty of nature alone without knowing the origin and customs of his” said me honestly.

Aditya smiled and touched my cheek gently.

“From now on we will surround this country a lot by entering their lives” Aditya said to calm me down.

I smiled so happy to hear it. Finally my desire to be able to enjoy all corners of the country will soon be realized. And even happier because I'm going to do it with the person I love the most in my life besides my parents. Aditya is now my husband.