Obsessive Love Disorder
A reality I never expected

I woke up from a sleep I had felt for a long time.

I grabbed my phone and I saw the clock on my phone screen. At 04:15

I slept from late afternoon until early in the morning like this. I tried to go back to sleep but couldn't.

I woke up, and daydreamed about what I was going to do then, and I decided to go on my way out enjoying the beach on a dark morning like this.

I put on my sweater and I put on his headgear to protect myself from the cold of this blind morning. I kept walking following my heart's desire to step up, I left the Resort and started walking on the beach. I felt the waves and the cold so attached to that blind morning, the lights were so lacking that night, but the moonlight made me still able to see the streets around me.

And when I was so far away I felt someone following me, I stopped my steps and turned around. Looks like some people far away are watching me. Too dark I can't see who they are because my lighting is only moonlight and the lights on the beach that make it difficult for me to see them.

I took my feet away from them again, and I felt that they were following me, I looked back again and they were getting closer.

I was getting panicked and scared, then I tried to run away from them and it was true that they were following me and trying to chase after me. With all my might I ran away from the resort and...

‘Buuuggg’

I bumped into someone's body in front of me, the more I panicked the more I was afraid he was a plotter of that person.

And I saw the figure of the man who was in front of me clearly.

“Aditya” whispered to me, as soon as I saw him in front of me.

A group of men behind me now no longer run, they walk pura do not see us and pass me just like that.

Aditya stared intently at the young men trying to commemorate them with the look on his face. After they all went out somewhere, Aditya looked at me with sangar.

He wears long sleeves and long pants too, his messy hair makes him even more natural looking.

“You did the hell, it's still dark gini udalive” said with annoyance.

I kept bowing my head still feeling panicked and at the same time feeling relieved.

“I wake up, keep having trouble sleeping again”

My face turned into a frightened child.

“Emang can not be cemed in the room? Kaya gatel really if you do not understand the atmosphere of the dark beach tuh” he continues to scold me.

“Yakan I have trouble sleeping, I also gor have to do in the room, so I walk jalan”

“Ya can walk over the Resort aja, this is your way already far from the Resort. You don't realize?”

I just kept quiet not wanting to fight him.

Aditya no longer sounded scolded me for seeing me who was already feeling guilty, and he stepped foot away to leave me alone.

“Where are you?”

“Not your business” answered him without turning my head and kept going.

“Adiii” call me spoiled.

“Ke cliffs” answered lazily.

“I came” my door with a pleading face, she stopped her steps and turned her face back to stare at me sharply.

“Ngga” ketusnya while back walking.

“kalo they go back again keep bothering me how ?”

He stopped his steps again and thought for a moment, he clucked in annoyance because there was no other choice but to let me follow him. I smiled happily and ran over to her. We walk together in silence.

We climb a cliff that is not far from the Resort, the cliff is not too high but the place is so comfortable and beautiful. Green grass that is slightly wet because of the dew that covers the morning makes the grass wet, there are also rocks embedded in the ground that we can use to sit,but Aditya chose to sit on the grass and lean behind the stone. I followed him sitting beside him comfortably and leaned my back on the same large rock.

“You come here often?”

Looking around me like there was no one who wanted to join us waiting for the sunrise here, it was so quiet and lonely and there was no illumination at all other than the illumination of the moon. And it sounded just the pounding of the waves that hit our cliff.

He nodded his head. I remember something, something will keep on stirring up in me if I don't express my feelings to him.

“aku sorry”

“For?”

“Udah thought you were arrogant, annoying, and jutek”

She smiles.

“Then ? Now you've rated me kind, friendly, and gentle?” Ask her.

“Ngga too anyway, you still jutek still nyebelin , but it turns out behind that you actually fun”

Aditya did not respond to me, he just silently heard my words. I leaned my head back waiting for the sunrise before me to appear immediately.

“I'm a closed person, never want a stranger into my personal life. I never want anyone to interfere in my business. But accidentally, there are even foreigners who enter my life and know the biggest problem I” he said with a view forward.

“Oiyaa who ?” Askaqua.

He glanced at me with his eyes narrowed, implied that his face was so upset that I didn't realize who he was referring to.

“I mean I?”

His silence answered my question.

“Kok me anyway?” I asked confused.

“I just did not intentionally pergokin you again sick in the forest, continue not intentionally also know it turns out you are not allergic to crabs, that's it, the excess I do not know about you”

Oceh I do not accept his accusation.

“But why should this incongruity befall you?” Her question also confused me to answer her.

“Yes where do I know”

I saw my phone screen. 0455

“Sunrise is still a long time, how do you want to be early in here” ask me to switch the conversation.

“I didn't know this place on purpose. I used to vacation in Sumba, and stayed at the resort. One night I went for a walk to relieve stress because of my work, continued unknowingly, I've been sitting on this cliff. I don't know, like someone led me”

“2 years ago”

“Oooo”

“And you are the first person I invite to my favorite place this”

“Without accidentally” added her, fear of making my return to GRan again possible.

Aditya's words made me look at him. There was a feeling of unease when he said that. Why can he not invite other friends to go here, and why should I be the first person he invited here. But in view, it was me who was wrong, Aditya obviously did not want me to follow him but I instead forced him to come here.

“Why never invite your girl here”, I said with heart.

He smiled laughing at me.

“You don't have tv at home?” Her question made me pucker my lips.

“I'm surprised to be with you, how can you always mispronounce the names of 2 artists who are with you?”

“Yes I have a tv, but I have to watch the lives of others that are obviously not my business. I'm even surprised by the lives of the artists, why can you guys just ngorek ngorek ngorek your personal life anyway, you are the way where and the same as anyone in gosipin, gosipin,go where alone in the talk there is a little problem on the other day. You guys are not uncomfortable so public consumption ?” I asked who was booming.

“Risih” answer is short. It made me look at him, see how seriously he said that.

“I also never want my life to continue to dig into other people. Make me not free to move, make me afraid to do everything I like, but in their view it is wrong. But there are also those who support every activity I do”

“Fans” guess me.

Aditya nodded without looking at me.

“But not only do they all support us, we also have to be strongly attacked by many netizens, and the heavy pressure of career, demanding us to be what they want”

I kept thinking about what Aditya said. It sounds like he's tired of living his life like this. But why did he survive ?

“You know that there is no artist who fell in contact with forced”

“Oh yes ?” I don't believe it.

“Iyaa, for example, they are in one film in juxtaposed to be lovers, then in real life the fans are so fanatic and ask them to live a relationship in real life, and there are also parties who can sail them if they really want to be”

“Settingsan you mean?”

“That you understand, he never watched artist” ledeknya.

“Yes if the problem setting I often heard from Sisil or Caca who often gossip in front of me”

She smiled again, I sensed why she was so sweet and friendly that day. Every word he said always sounded soft, and he was handsome. His chin taper, nose pointed white skin and berparas blasteran, all of it is a legacy from his parents who came from the Netherlands either his mother or his father, all of it is a legacy of his parents who came from the Netherlands, certainly among them, they gave a little face to Aditya.

“Actually I'm tired” he said.

“Why ?”

“My life must be arranged by someone else. I want to be like this, living freely, doing everything on my own free will. And no one else is capable of interfering in my life”

“But it must be difficult yes in, unless you go abroad to start a new life, new friends and new jobs and do not be an artist again”

“I fell in love with nature in my country bi, I have too far enjoyed the beauty of nature in this country. I don't know in any other country is there a place this beautiful or not?”

‘Bii’ This is the first time anyone has called me with a ‘bi’ call like this, I don't mind as long as there's still my name consonant in it.

“I also fell in love with my nature, I also joined HIMPA community as well because I want to know nature further. And I finally got to feel everything I dreamed of for joining that community, I was so lucky to be given the opportunity to continue enjoying the beautiful nature” I remember some of the places I have been through as long as I followed that community.

“I see you are different from others” he said while looking at me coldly.

I smiled at her words.

“Mas Glenn also once said that, he said I was different from my other friends” replied I remember Glenn's words when on the beach.

I saw her expression change when I mentioned Glenn's name.

“You're like it's pretty much the same Glenn”

“Yes deket because he is very good with me, continue only he who wants to greet me with friendly every meet”

“And you like?”

Ask her.

“Ya I like because she's good”

He just nodded his head in doubt at my answer.

“Sumba is one of the places that must be visited by all lovers of alam” he said.

“Iya indeed, its natural beauty, its customs that are still concentrated, also its people who are good make them nature lovers must at least once in a lifetime to visit Sumba”

“Kalo is indeed all Sumba people are good, you are not likely to follow the stranger on the beach” he said while touching my eel.

“Awww ails” my moans while rubbing my forehead.

“Yaa maybe it's just one of the thousands of good residents right?” answer me to defend myself.

“Kok can happen to be you ya” tanyaku.

“That's what I mean, why could this coincidence have to befall you ?” again, her question confused me to answer her.

Then he looked at me in silence, his eyes combing all over my face, as well as me who liked to see the indentations on his face, who was so handsome, sweet, and so charming. The sound of waves and the sound of nature around us like pushing our faces closer. I don't know what to do, the breath he's getting on my face, the face is getting closer, our noses are bumping and he's tilting his face a little bit and landing his lips on mine. At once I felt my heart thumping fast, unable to make a revolt and instead enjoying what I felt.

He dares to kiss me, on this cliff makes me hypnotized to be quiet, why am I enjoying it instead ? Moments later came the sunlight that started to shine on our bodies little by little. She moved her lips gently, enjoying this kiss. I kept my eyes closed and followed every groove of her lips.

As soon as I woke up, I opened my eyes and took my face away from her, I threw my face away and left quickly.

Sunrise that day I did not see, I was guilty because I instead enjoyed the kiss given by Aditya. I walked quickly down the cliff and immediately went to the Resort. Along the way I kept touching my lips and imagining what I had just done. Why am I silent, why am I not rebellious, why am I enjoying it.

I reached my room and I sat pensively beside my bed, Aditya's shadow still stuck in my mind. I tried to throw that thought away but couldn't, I was confused what if I met her again? What am I supposed to do? I'm so stupid, why can I just shut up ? What if Aditya thinks I'm the same woman he met out there. I'm sorry, really sorry.

I continue to regret my actions. I became afraid to meet him later, I had to avoid him lest I look directly at him.

I lay myself in bed and tried to close my eyes, but instead of continuing to sleep, Aditya's shadow always appeared in my mind. I immediately opened my eyes and shook my head hoping that his mind would crash, and for free, our kissing shadow was still so thick in my mind.