Rai Universe
CHAPTER 11. That Sturdy Fortress, Is Just an Illusion.
Rai just came out of the bathroom to change her school uniform. When he heard the door of his room was knocked from the outside, he immediately opened it even though his shirt had not been all buttoned. As a result, it immediately showed the chest of his stocky and pure white field.
He frowned in surprise when he saw Esta who was standing at the door of his room with a breath of gasping being crushed her own fingers. The girl's face looked sweaty and made her hair a little dizzy. Staring at Rai with an expression of fear and doubt.
“Someone wants me to talk. Important.” Esta said as she took her breath back. He flicked his strung hair covering one of his eyes and fixed his hairband in the form of rubber bands.
“What?” Rai asked coldly.
“This.” Esta said while handing over an object like a blue white lid to Rai.
Rai immediately accepted it then looked at the thing closely.
“You..” Rai was stunned with a test pack in her hands.
“Yes, I'm pregnant.” Said Esta lirih. He was still trying to neutralize his breath. “At first I thought I wouldn't tell you. But I think again, you have the right to know about this, Rai.”
Rai was already completely frozen in front of the door. He just looked at the device with a pias look.
“Do not take a headache. I'm not going to ask you to take responsibility. I just want to tell you because I think you should know. If so, I will go home first. Sorry to surprise you like gini.” Said Esta who immediately snatched the test pack from Rai fingers.
Rai's world is stopping spinning. The fact that he was born a jerk now fills his chest cavity. It's obvious he can't deny that fact.
He was fully aware of the risks that might arise from his actions that night. But he still hopes that all this will never happen. Although not denied, all this time he still felt afraid and anxious.
And that fact was bitter for him. His actions that night really bore seeds in Esta's womb. But why did the girl act like everything was fine? is he lying to you? Rai became annoyed himself thinking about it.
Rai again closed the door with a consciousness that was sinking at the bottom of his slump. He dragged his legs and laid himself on the bed while closing his eyes with his right arm.
Now, the destruction of the future is welcoming him with arms wide open. Breaking all the dreams he nurtured and nurtured until now. Drown the direction of his ideals to the bottom of the deepest recesses. No matter how he tried to achieve his saneity, he still failed. He closed his eyes, hoping that nothing would ever happen.
What remains is regret.
The regret that he could not control his passions that he should be able to defeat easily. All this time he had fortified that lust firmly and never showed it. But the wall that he thought was sturdy was very fragile and helpless. It turned out that sturdiness was just an illusion to convince himself. It's just an empty assumption.
Now what should he do? Will he be a loser or a fighter?
Actually simple. After all Esta firmly will not hold her answer. If he wanted to, he could ignore this and continue to move forward to achieve his dream. But doesn't that mean he's a loser? He was desperate not to be a loser.
Instantly the whole world Rai felt smashed. He felt like he was stopping in the middle of the road with a lot of vehicles rushing towards him and ready to smash him to pieces. It was clear that he could not move let alone get off that road. He's stuck there and he doesn't know how to get out.
*****
Esta tightly grasped the results of the test pack in her hands. It was a few days ago that she found out that she was pregnant when she did not get her monthly guests anymore. Indeed from the beginning Esta's feelings have led there. And she had prepared herself fully in case she was really pregnant. So when she found out about her pregnancy, she was not so surprised and tried to be relaxed.
Although it seems Rai was very surprised by her pregnancy.
Esta had planned her future in such a way. He really wouldn't ask Rai to take responsibility for him. He has decided to accept the presence of the creature that now resides in his distended stomach with a spacious chest.just assume it is a friend sent by God to him even through the wrong path.
“I will keep your defense. I will take good care of you as my atonement. I will not consider you a disaster, I will regard you as a gift that I must take good care of.” Lirih Esta while holding her stomach.
He knows that from now on everything is more difficult than before. But he still does not expect help from anyone. The only person who can help him is himself, he will not rely on others.Karna indeed all this time how his life
That's why Esta is so ordinary. Even he still works at Pakde Karya as usual.
Like tonight, Esta remains busy serving shoppers fined by that roadside. Nothing has changed from him at all. Or, people don't notice that.
“So you're in cariin loh Ta, same Kanti.” Said Pakde Karya's wife who was tidying the tissue into place.
“Why is he nyariin, Bude?”
“Testing. I don't do much either. But really you have moved and do not live with them anymore?”
“Iya, Bude. Now I'm transferring costs on the school decket, let's not distance.”
“That's careful if kos himself. Today there is a lot of evil everywhere. Especially if you are a girl, you live alone. Which is obviously careful of men let whoever it is. Take good care of yourself, Ta.”
Tumben once Pakde Karya's wife would advise him like that. The real advice was already too late for Esta. Though usually the woman did not care even with the visible wounds on Esta's body.
“Iya, Bude.”
It was almost midnight when Pakde Karya closed his field. And that means he can go home and rest in the boarding house while doing his physical duties.
The story of Esta's piece of the night will continue. In the hope of what has become his decision is the best way that will not harm anyone, including himself. There is no point in regretting let alone crying over what happened. All he can do is try to walk forward by changing direction for the better and not repeating the same mistakes again. This is all enough to be a learning process for Esta. Learning is very stupid but expensive because the future is at stake.