Way Back To You
Mom, I'm sorry

Hanna walked down the waterlogged street to the cafe not far from home using an umbrella. Drizzle is down, not too heavy. Last night there was a huge storm and the house had a power outage until this morning. Last night Liam didn't come home either. Luckily Hanna was accompanied by Lona and Bobby came after her at about eleven p.m.

I can't find Liam anywhere.

That's what Bobby said. So all night Hanna couldn't sleep because she thought about Liam. Liam could not be contacted. Since he came out of the house in a hurry –and the night he got drunk, maybe Liam didn't have time to charge his phone. Hanna was worried about Liam's safety, hoping to be anxious due to the slightly extreme weather conditions. I hope Liam is somewhere warm and safe.

“Steve, hi.” hello Hanna.

He folded his umbrella, leaned it against the cafe wall and sat down on the chair Steve had provided. The detective was reading something from his phone and coded Hanna for a short wait. Maybe it's very important business. At the corner of her lips was a white stain, hanna guessing came from the cream cake she ate. Hanna turned her head outside the cafe, towards the pedestrians who crowded the streets.

Where are you now Liam? Are you all right?

“Sorry Han. From client.”

Hanna nodded, gesturing not to mind Steve's busyness.

“How? Are the results of the paternal test already out?”

Hanna can't wait to hear all the truth about Liam's past. When Steve texted her to meet, Hanna knew she was going to talk about Leanor and Liam. There is no other topic more important than that.

“You drink first.” Steve pointed at the cappucino that was already available at the table. “Our talk will probably be very long.”

“Sorry Steve, but I don't drink drinks like this.”

“Jeez, I forgot that you were pregnant. Sorry Han.” Steve hurriedly put away the drink from in front of Hanna. “You want to order something? Juice or other drinks?”

“Not for Steve. I want to hear the test results directly.”

“If that bastard were here too, I could tell him directly what had happened. But he went somewhere.” Steve Mumbled.

The bastard he was referring to was Liam. Steve did scowl at Hanna over the phone because he couldn't reach Liam. Not even the message was sent. Steve shifted the drinks and food that had been served at the table. She placed a large brown envelope and thrust it at Hanna. “I must admit, if the saying that a woman's feeling is very accurate is true."

“You mean Leanor isn't Liam's real mother?”

Steve nodded. “Read it.”

Hanna opened the map she had taken out of the envelope. He read through the sheets of paper in the map, and accidentally uttered Thank God after seeing the accuracy percentage of Liam and Leanor's DNA. There was relief in Hanna's heart because she knew Leanor, that woman was not a part of Liam's life. Not in the past, now, or in the future.

“Thankful..” hiss Hanna. “This is the best news I've ever heard Steve, thank you very much.”

“It was my duty.” Steve cut the cake on the plate using a spoon. “But.” He wiped his mouth using his hands directly. “Aren't you curious why this Leanor came to Liam?”

Hanna frowning. “Money problems?” guess it.

“What?” hanna's face reddened, her eyes glaring in disbelief.

Steve nodded slowly. He held his breath and the look on his face changed. “The story is a little painful. I'm not even sure if I should tell Liam or not.”

“Tell me!”

“So...the woman who gave birth to Liam was a rape victim, still eighteen years old at the time. She was a high school student who had just returned home from school, and the barbarians abused her among the lush oak trees in the forest not far from her home.”.

Hanna's breath was held. There was a tightness tying his chest until he found it hard to find air. Both of his eyes were glazed..

“In addition to being pregnant, the woman suffered some complications on her body as she was also severely injured due to the incident. And because she was not strong, she chose to end her own life after a week of giving birth to Liam.”

*

Your mother, Catherin Wilson, was a very jolly and friendly woman. I know him, because he and his parents donated to the orphanage several times. Then suddenly Cathy, as soon as I called her, disappeared into the ground. I didn't worry about her that much because she was a student in her final year of high school.

I think he might be busy preparing for the final exam. A few months later I learned she was raped by three drunk men while walking home. She was pregnant, and stayed in the hospital for several months due to complications. After giving birth to you in a state of chaos and depression, she experienced the baby blues and chose to end her own life.

Before committing suicide, he asked someone to drive you to the orphanage I was in and leave me a letter. If it wasn't for this letter, I wouldn't have known if you were Cathy's child.

Sorry Liam, I used to torture you too. I insist on keeping you in an orphanage, and that's why I'm asking those kids to bully you. I'm the culprit, I'm the one who's wrong. I deserve you to hate, but I did it just because I wanted to run Cathy's message.

Until one night I saw you crying so much under the covers, I realized I was selfish. That night I promised I'd find you someone in charge of your life.

.

Celine's words buzzed in Liam's ears. Yesterday afternoon, while she was spending time with Celine, she finally told me all the truth about herself and her past. And considering how the process he is present in this world makes his hair goosebumps. His breath was blocked and his tears were flowing.

He didn't think he was the child of rape.

“Sial.” Liam hit his wheel many times, then after he got tired –and his anger still flared, he lowered his head.

His vehicle was still stuck on the road with several other vehicles. From the info he obtained, in front of them there was a landslide cliff and cut off the main road leading outside the city. And damn it, that's where Liam is now, restrained, immobile, holding back the cold and hunger. He deliberately turned off his car in order to save fuel and what made his suffering complete was that his phone died completely helplessly.

“Hanna must be worried about me.” muttered in the midst of her heartache after hearing Celine's story. “I shouldn't have just left it.”

Liam stared at a white envelope with a red lyrical on his side that looked very worn out. He still hasn't read it because he's not ready. His mother, Cathy left a letter to the caretaker and there was a note that they had to submit the letter to Liam when he was seventeen years old.

Maybe his mother considered his maturity side and his maturity in managing emotions, that's why he said age seventeen. But Liam had already left the orphanage very far and never returned. That's why the letter didn't reach her at the age her mother set.

“Mother must have suffered once.” Liam stared at the letter in his hand. “Sorry Mom, I should have come to you sooner. All this time I've been blaspheming you, saying you're an irresponsible woman. But I was an irresponsible child. You are not selfish, I am selfish. Mom, I'm sorry.”