101 Avatars
36. Whose Idealism is Right?

In his long silence, Kaiser began to say, “Adrian, do you think revenge is everything?”

“I..Not like that.  I just don't want to run away from trouble.  Like what Faridh always taught me, that we must look at the problem and solve it with our own two hands as heavy as the problem is.  Because our dependence on someone is a form of our weakness.”  I answered while lowering my head because I could not bear to see the sad expression on Kak Kaiser's face.

Kaiser then crouched down to position his face parallel to my face which was sitting on the mattress.  Brother Kaiser was so straight staring deep into my eyes.

“It is not wrong determination that you have to dare to stare at problems, Adrian.  But remember what is most important.  Look at your brother Syifa's face.  Just imagine how he would feel if you were killed like your brother Faridh.”  Said Kaiser slowly, but felt the seriousness of every word he threw.

I looked at Syifa too.  I saw her eyes glazed over, almost crying.

I once again looked down.  I hold my hand tight.

Kaiser's sister then resuscitated me by patting me on the shoulder.  Kaiser continued saying, Brother,

“Remember, Adrian.  What matters is your safety in this fight.  Isn't your goal to make your brother Syifa happy so you're willing to join us in order to eradicate the avatar monsters?  However, how can Syifa be happy in a world that there is no you by her side?”

Kaiser then fell silent for a moment while getting closer to my face while grasping my shoulders tightly with both hands.  It was at that moment Kaiser said, Brother,

“Adrian, sometimes if a problem feels so heavy that we feel unable to deal with it, then it's okay for us to run away from it.”

I also digest well the words of each word thrown by Kaiser.  Little by little, I was affected by his words.  So, what about the idealism of Kak Faridh's upbringing that has been imprinted in me?

Isn't the idealism Kaiser wants to convey not much different from a coward?  Is it allowed for someone to run away from their problems?  Can I do that?  To be honest, this fight is scary.  A little wrong, I could have been seriously injured and even died.  However, all this time I survived because of the idealism that Kak Faridh instilled in me.

“Don't give up!  Don't run away from trouble!” That's what Faridh always said to me.

Then, can I run away as Kaiser said if things get worse?  Then who will protect this earth from the threat of avatar monsters?  Does Kaiser want to say that he could have protected her alone?  No, it's wrong.  Anyway, if so, I wouldn't have recruited him as his partner from the beginning.  After all, it was Kaiser Brother who initially led me to this blood-filled battle.

So, what is the purpose of Kaiser saying that?  Didn't he spoil me too much by always telling me to fight while taking cover behind him?

Then, once again Kaiser said,

“That's what a colleague's for, Adrian.  When you are in trouble, when you cannot handle it alone, use your partner to support you.  Including, if at a time when everything is too much for you, then take cover until you are ready to return to the fight behind your partner's back.  That's what it's for me, Adrian, as your partner.”

Kaiser's words, like an oasis in the desert barren to my heart.  But why does it feel like there's something wrong with that?  Why is it that instead of an oasis, Kak Kaiser's words are more like mirages in the wilderness that are ready to give me disappointment?

Is it because all this time I was educated with different idealism by Kak Faridh who had not only as an older brother to me, but had also become a substitute for the role of a father?  Or can I really do that?  Or have I been the wrong one to interpret such an attitude as cowardice?

I no longer know what is right and what is wrong, between Kak Faridh's aggressive idealism or Kaiser's overprotective idealism.  If it were you, which would you choose?

“I understand Brother.  But sorry, I want to sleep a little longer.”

I, who was in that state of mind, then tried to quibble to stop the conversation immediately.  I turned around to lay myself on the bed while turning my back to Kak Kaiser and Kak Syifa who were there.

“Adrian, but how's your dinner?”

I heard, Sister Syifa tried to wake me up again.

“Sorry Brother, maybe later.”  But even that dinner I refused.

“Sorry, Syifa.  I need to get back home now.  I tipped Judith yes, if she has gone home les.”

Vaguely in my sleepiness, I could still hear the momentary chatter of Brother Syifa and Kaiser's sister.  Did Kaiser leave because he was annoyed with me for not taking his advice?

***

That night, Kaiser who went home went straight to the bathroom to wash his wounds that he had not had time to properly care for at the headquarters.  Unbeknownst to anyone at the base, apparently in his last fight with Saber, he was severely injured and incurable even with his extraordinary healing abilities.

But something astonishing happened, the wound did not bleed at all.  There was a complicated expression on Kaiser's face, no, precisely Healer in Kaiser's form when he saw the wound.

A moment later, a portal suddenly opened at the spot where Kaiser was standing facing the mirror.

“Kakak..Kakak..Kakak  With her cute behavior, a woman much younger than Kaiser suddenly came towards Kaiser from behind.

From behind the mirror, Kaiser was able to see the woman's face.  However, Kaiser still turned his face back to look directly at the beautiful face.

“Ah, Holy, you came apparently.”

He is Holy, the avatar number 9 who turned out to be secretly working with Healer in the form of Kaiser.

Holy then hugged the back of Kaiser who was not wearing the top.

“Ehehehe. Holy, stop!”  Kaiser who was tingled amused by the front skin of Holy who was in direct contact with his skin without coating in the slightest, then immediately turned around to release Holy embrace.

Kaiser smiled gently at Holy while stroking her delicate hair.  But Holy then said,

“Ih, Sister stingy.  Just hugged can't be.  Though I have worked hard to be a spy Brother watching the movements of Raging Fire.  It is not easy to build trust in him, let alone the little Poison Merchant beside him.”

Hearing that remark, Kaiser's expression petrified for a moment in such a short time that even Holy himself was unaware of it.  In that instant, it was Kaiser who this time held Holy from the front while rubbing Holy's back hair.

“You've worked hard, Holy.”  Said Kaiser with a gentle smile on his face.

“Duh, right.  I've worked too hard.”  Holy Rajuk, but also accompanied by a genuine smile to Kaiser.

Holy's gaze unintentionally headed towards Kaiser's arm.  It was there that he realized that the figure he called Big Brother was injured.  He didn't realize Kaiser's wound wasn't bleeding at all.

“Kakak injured?”  Holy Word.  However, a moment later, his expression suddenly turned irritated.

“This is because Big Brother is too protective of Avatar Arjuna's owner boy.  Is he not just a tool to achieve our goals?  Why does my sister seem to love him so much?  What do you think, Brother has been hurt by the human feelings in Brother?”  Holy said with a suspicious look to Kaiser.

“Entahlah.  However, you may have a point, Holy.  I can't deny that I've been swept away by this human feeling called Kaiser.  But having the feeling of loving someone like family is not bad either.  Just as I love you, Holy."  Kaiser also revealed what was in his heart honestly to Holy.

“Unfortunately, in my form like this, where can I become a whole human being.  After all, why am I different from the other avatars?  Why am I the only one who doesn't have blood like a human?  Because of this, I also become always vigilant if to the extent that anyone realizes it.  I even had to go into hiding for a moment from my human colleagues for fear that they would find out about my bloodless wounds.”

Kaiser's expression shrank.  He looked closely at the wound on his left arm.  A moment later, he continued, saying,

“Isn't this ironic?  I'm nicknamed the Hero of Red Blood, while of my own blood, I don't have.”