Is it my destiny or is it my destiny?
I should how?

" Can't I ask for money, to buy onions." Nina said on the way to Novi's house, because Gilang will be a bird race, so Nina will accompany Novi at her house while waiting for Ilmi to come home to study.

" Oh, what's your money running out?"

" There is, but I use it to buy vegetables."

" Well, if you've bought vegetables, then your money is up?" Ketus Crossbows

" Yes there is."

" Ck, do not waste if shopping, soon will be fasting months when you can not save. If this continues then we won't be able to go home later."

" I've been trying to save money but what about you?"

" I, what's wrong with me?"

" You've always been a bird race, and you've never given me enough money to shop. How can I set aside money to shop, if to eat is still less."

" Yes arranged how to be enough. Cook just three days ago I gave you 200, and now it's over."

" I bought a bath and Pampers, not a snack for Akifa."

Gilang was silent because at that time it had reached the place of Ilmi, after taking down Ilmi they continued the journey to the house of Novi which was not far from the new place of Ilmi.

Ilmi no longer teaches in the mosque, because the teacher who used to teach Ilmi has changed. And Ilmi is not suitable with the new teacher who teaches because it seems firm and fierce.

" It's to buy onions."

With a jutek face and a crazy Ketus tone gave a piece of red money to Nina.

" Don't spend remember saved." Saying Silence again.

" Don't just take it, buy the onions later with you." Nina said while trying to hold back her cries.

" This just take it first." Silang.

" No."

Nina then immediately entered the house Novi, after saying and husband Novi leave Nina finally can no longer hold back her tears.

" Why-why?" Ask Novi.

Novi is now married to Gilang's friend, so Gilang works with Novi's husband in front of Novi's boarding house. Novi already has a daughter who is 4 months younger than Akifa.

Nina then tells what just happened between her and Gilang.

" Anything is the same, Toni is like that, sometimes I don't understand what men think. They give money but do not think about the amount of needs, and also do not think about the price of needs to be purchased." Bright Novi

" Yes, I actually can't stand it. And you know if only one of my parents was right. Maybe I went home to my parents. Now, just imagine that my father is married again and the wife who is now much younger than the previous wife. Also my papa's wife said that if they came back from Malaysia would not go back to Papaku's house, but would go straight home to his wife. Although Mama. You know, my mama was very nice to her husband, but obviously her husband didn't want me anymore."

" How do you know?" Ask Novi.

" Now my mother was never again sent a living by her husband, and my sister said that maybe the student engineered a story where her mother had a fight with her own granddaughter and told her to take the suitcase that was there. Let's just think where a grandmother would argue with her own granddaughter. And my mother still believes her husband is a good man."

" It's hard, you don't know who to complain to."

" Yes, just so you know I'm sailing in the middle of the ocean, tossed by the waves. No. You have to lean the ship where, because I don't have anyone. Even though Mama said that I couldn't stand the attitude of saying I told her to go back to her house. Then, after I return to his house I will eat from whom?, I will provide for my needs and also my children money from where. I myself am actually embarrassed I also sometimes borrow money to my sister, when I was her brother I should have given her 33yrey instead of me yk1 3sang asked her." Nina said with tears still flowing.

" Patience, who knows that someday Gilang will change."

Nina shakes.

" I'm not sure, our marriage is almost 7 years old. But until now Gilang has not changed, and during that time I always gave up. I can't even remember the last time I felt happy as a wife. Because sometimes I feel that I am a prostitute, who was given money after giving service. Not infrequently also Gilang said me with hurtful words if I refused to serve him."

" I don't think at all, at most Tony will be angry with me, so the next morning I don't say hello to him."

" Hmm, I used to be too. But over time painful words came out of Gilang's mouth. It's not that I don't wholeheartedly give service, it's just that sometimes my heart hurts too much even though it's actually a wife's duty. Honestly I'm so tired, I want to give up. I repeatedly asked my own heart, what more should I keep in this marriage than because of the child."

" Have you tried to speak well with Gilang?"

" Gilang was not to be spoken to, whenever we were in a state of peace and happiness and when I asked him to talk about something related to finances for example, or with his attitude he. It always ended with a commotion, and the next morning Gilang did not say hello. We never even say hello for 2 days because of trivial things. So what am I supposed to do?, if only I could have some income from writing. Maybe I won't count on the money from Gilang anymore."

" Yes, it's just that the story I'm writing isn't now and as great as the other novels, maybe that's what makes my novel a scant reader. But it's okay I'll keep trying even if Gilang doesn't support me to write."

" Why?"

" Because he said if I write, it doesn't make me rich and make money."

" Why is that?"

" Yes, he often said that because I was too focused on writing I abandoned the children. Though I write when I have taken care of all my children, I write in a relaxed time. Sometimes I sleep at 12 to finish my writing. Yes, I can understand because I'm a new writer not easy to get readers let alone produce brilliant story ideas."

" It's okay, just focus on writing you, and if one day your novel has made money never tell Gilang."

" Of course, for now I will keep the spirit of writing and will continue to write, because I believe that if my sustenance exists from me writing then I will still accept it whether it is when." Nina said with a smile to encourage herself.

Then Nina looked at the clock, Not feeling it was almost 6 o'clock. So Nina bothered to pick up Ilmi.

" What will be here again?" Novi asked as Nina was leaving.

" Yes, because Gilang will ride Toni's bike of course I will come back here again."

" Okay then."

Nina then immediately put forward her motorbike by holding Akifa, when she arrived at the place of teaching Ilmi had not come out because the lesson was not finished. So Nina decided to go to the grocery store to buy onions and other necessities. Fortunately, Nina still had some money to buy her needs.

And after Nina returned from buying necessities, Ilmi was seen waiting for Nina at the front desk of the shop at the house.

" Mom, are you home from the bird race?" Ask Ilmi.

" Not yet, so we're going to Novi's bude house to wait for dad."

" Hore, so I can play with Arumi."

Ten minutes later, Gilang and Tony arrived. Then immediately invite Ilmi and Nina to go home because the day is getting dark. And Gilang had to bathe all his birds.

At home, Nina began to feed Ilmi and Akifa with meatballs she bought earlier when she came home from teaching.

After that Nina cooked instant noodles and eggs for Gilang dinner.

" It's shopping." Say Gilang while giving two pieces of money in red.

Nina accepted it and did not forget to say thank you. In the heart of Nina is very grateful because when the money has run out no dime finally crazy give it money to shop.

Nina saved the money carefully, while planning the most cost-effective way that could be done to save money from Gilang.

...

" Ilmi, you don't want to study anymore?, you why be a bad boy?, why you still can't read. Later when your own school is the dumbest among your friends." Silang.

" You have a mother but you don't want to teach you how to read." Gilang.

" Well, don't always try me who doesn't teach Ilmi to learn. I will teach Ilmi to learn after Akifa sleeps, because if not active will teach and make teaching and learning becomes unsettled."

" That's just an excuse. From tomorrow Ilmi comes with Dad to work, bring books and stationery because you will study with him there. You're at home and you're not a smart kid, you're becoming a stupid kid."

Nina was silent, wanting to feel like she was venting all her emotions to Gilang. Want it feels like Nina berates Gilang Why always blame herself for Ilmi's disfluency in reading. Nina yells loudly at Gilang and says that she is also tired of caring for children and also doing homework alone. But whatever the power, Dina has not dared to do all that. I don't know what made him brave.

Nina could only cry after Gilang's departure.

" I have to how, what exactly is my fault. Am I a bad mother to my two children, am I not good at teaching my children? Is everything that's going on, this fight this dispute is because it's my fault?"

Nina continued to speculate with her own thoughts without finding an answer.

Sometimes Nina also talks to herself, whether she is indeed a very wasteful and can not manage finances. Or indeed Gilang who always gave him money that was not enough to meet their needs.

...----------------...

...----------------...

...----------------...