Lembayung Dusk
Flashback 4: Already Knows Bitter Peach..

Jakarta

Mom Twilight

I've been in the capital for 2 weeks with Mr. Lardo, a foreign man I've only known for about 17 days.. I never thought I could fall in love so easily with her.

And worse yet he already has a wife and children in his home country. But how? I gave everything to him.

But it turns out that the way is the gate that awaits me to suffering.. Which has no end.

I married Siri to her without my family's consent. Being second and being a destroyer of other people's domestic relationships.

Maliciously.. I enjoyed our moment of intimacy, despite being so far apart, but I felt very comfortable being with her.

I admit. This is the first time I fell in love, and it turns out for the first time also the man who managed to snatch my most precious crown.

Who would have thought, my dream to achieve success just disappeared . once I know the beauty of the world that Mr. Lardo gave me.

"Honey, I have something to tell you! " He grabbed me from behind as I was enjoying the beauty of Jakarta from the 20th floor of his apartment.

"yes. just tell me! "

"I have to go back to Italy next week!"

"Huhuh? What's wrong? whys? " I'm surprised.

"soon my wife will give birth."

I changed my position to face her.. Pressing his nape, I scooped his face without cue and drowned all love.Hopefully he was by my side, then he greeted me with excitement.

Therefore I give all my heart and body so that he cancels his departure. But. he remains steadfast with the establishment will return to his country.

"I promise you.. I'll be back and will be responsible!" He held me tight and promised.

"I'll be waiting for you! "

***

3 months passed..

I was still in the same place waiting for him. No word. There's no sign. And bad, I felt something strange on my body.I feel dizzy every day and always regurgitate food that enters my mouth.

I just realized that it has been almost 4 months I have not come to the moon.My heart is getting raging on the edge of anxiety.How not? I live alone in the apartment that Mr. Lardo left alone in this great city that I think is terrible.

Even I just realized how much better my hometown lives than surviving here.

Mr. Lardo did leave some money in savings for me, but it's not enough for me to survive if I don't work and make money right away. The money he gave was almost depleted in use for the cost of my life for 3 more months in the capital.

He said, only 1 month he was in Italy. But until this moment there is no sign that he will come.I do not have a contact number that can be contacted.he just gave me the address and wrote it on a piece of paper.

To confirm my suspicions, I bought some testpacks. It was surprising because they all showed 2 blue lines.

My heart was broken and my hope for the future was shattered, given my foolishness in easily believing in a stranger I had just met.

What am I supposed to do? I don't know anybody here.

***

4 months later..

"Sir.you should rest at home! I can't afford to hire a woman who is pregnant! " Mother Marni spoke while looking pityfully and rubbed my stomach slowly.

"But ma'am.I can still work! " I said full of hope.

I also lowered my head, trying to accept with airy chest that I was currently in a work stop like before.

I myself realize, in this condition, it will be very difficult for others to accept me to work.In addition I do not have a diploma to apply for a job.

God, this is my fault, my sin.

It has been refused dozens of times to work, frustrating me to face my pregnancy is growing bigger today.

Finally, I give up, I will admit wrong and return to my family.

***

Using the remaining money given by Mr. Lardo, I used it to buy a plane ticket to Bali, transit there because in Lombok there is still no airport.

Arriving at I Gusti Ngurah Rai airport Bali, I prepared to go to Lombok, take a ferry through Padangbai Port which is about 60 kilometers from Ngurah Rai.towards Lembar Port, Lombok.

After arriving at Lembar port, public transportation is available at Lembar port in the form of angkot. heading to Cakranegara Mataram Terminal .The base is a small terminal in front of Lembar port. From the port exit, it is only necessary to walk 200 meters to the highway.

This was my first trip alone, because I had never been far away from my birthplace before. I am grateful to finally arrive in Mataram and prepare with all the consequences later.

"Lalo alo side! (Go to you)!" Shouts echoed in all corners of the room.

Amaq looked angry after 7 months I disappeared and came in the middle of two bodies, old pregnant. And worse yet no man can be given responsibility for this baby.

Inaq cried bitterly at my quarrel with Amaq. Because amaq slapped me a few times. Even though I'm on my knees, but still amaq flinch.

Although amaq is not my real father, I have great respect for him.

Amaq was furious and..

Unforgivingness.

"Ampurayan baiq. sename(forgive me my husband)! " Inaq appears to be talking to Amaq in the room.

"endeqs.. Toler! (no. I can't!) "

"Tiang mele lalo dait Baiq.(i will go with baiq)! "

"Ita beseang.. side teseang! (we're divorced. You're divorced)! "

I was surprised to hear the words of amaq which easily said I wanted to part with Inaq.

Then the greater the mistake I have done because it has become an ungodly child and is the cause of parental divorce.

With tears in his eyes, Inaq tidied up his clothes and put some strands into a bag of rangsel, then brought a box containing inaq savings money during this time the results of weaving.

My two brothers are not there, Kak Nazam lives in Jakarta with his wife and son while my brother Hasan is in school.

"Enteh. ita lalo, ita danang jok Sumbawa(let's go, we go to Sumbawa)!" Inaq smiled as he rubbed the top of my head.

I know that behind that smile is a million sorrows that it hides. A million deepest disappointments and pains.

I regretted, the more I felt sorry.. What a vain regret.

Already Knows Bitter Peria..

The Only Regret (For Already Knows Less Well, But Made Too)

Flashback off

***