Lembayung Dusk
Nightmares..

Twilight

"Basic son of a bitch!! "

"Go from my life!! "

"Mom.. Dusk apologize ma'am! Dusk will not repeat again. hiks!" I rubbed the tears that wet my cheeks. My eyes are red from crying.

"What do you want to be? " Mom screamed.

"I'm ashamed you have your son. You're like your father! "

"Senja was not intentionally ma'am.tadi Denis threw a stone to the head of Dusk, so Dusk hit him back. See that mom? " I approached my mother while showing her a bloody head.

I hope that by looking at my bleeding head, I can melt my cold and frozen heart a little bit.Or just calm down and hug me while stroking my head.

But nil, mother did not care at all. glancing at my wounds was not. Instead bring a pack of cigarettes from the top of the nightstand, take one stick and light it with a lighter. Suck deeply and let out smoke from his mouth upwards.

"Where are you going! I don't want to see you anymore! "

I lowered my head and my tears were still dripping without stopping, leaving the sitting mother raising her legs as she continued to billow smoke into the air.

I closed the door, then stood up and stepped near the wall. Leaning the body beside the door.

"Arrrgh son of siaaaal! "

"I don't want a kid like you! "

"Armghh. ahaaa. ahhhaa.. " Mom screamed while crying so much.

"Sorry, Mom..! "

"Sorry Dusk..! "

"Yumuuuuu.... "

"Haaaaahh.. " I woke up with a lot of sweat from all over my body.

I dream.. The same dream and keep repeating. Happenings a few years ago when I was living with my mother in Sumbawa.

Like being pierced by thousands of arrows, pounding the heart to heartless pain. Is there a mother who does not love her child? like my mother? Why was I born into the world when no one wanted me. My mother who gave birth to me did not love me.

Even when I was a child, I often saw my friends on vacation with their parents.The mother feeds her children, bathes, takes care of school needs.

Dad played with his son and taught him to play the bike. Chat together while watching tv, or doing PR at the help of parents.

Little happy things that I have never experienced. Only curses and swearing are thrown from the mother's mouth, not strands of do'a kindness for her child.

I was raised and taken care of by papu inaq (grandmother), until I was 5 years old.

Papu amaq, angry at my unexpected birth, chose to divorce papu inaq and remarry.

I took a small box over the nightstand, containing the thing that had been my champion in the time of the disaster.

Suck deep nicotine and exhale slowly, enjoying each suction.

From here I can see looking up there, from the corner of the earth. I observed the sky where the Milky Way, visible on a clear night sky and free of light pollution. gray white fog extends around the sky arc, whose middle groove is a dark groove.

The white fog was a very large and dense collection of stars.

How are you, ma'am? Dusk misses mother..

Without feeling, the circle of tears that have accumulated in the eye fertilizer, I can no longer stand.

No matter how much you don't love me, I will always love you. And whatever they're talking about mom, I don't care. My mother was still my mother who had painstakingly conceived and gave birth to me.

After feeling a little calm, I went inside and glanced at the wall clock, the time already showed at 02:15 in the morning. I can't sleep. Walking closer to the kitchen and removing the soft drink from the refrigerator, the soft drink I bought this afternoon when I was a Lembayung stalker.

Hearing his name alone my heart that was originally sore, began to decompose into a feeling of peace.

Hearing his name always reminds of the feeling of warmth and amazement when staring at the beautiful scenery at every time Dusk comes to replace the afternoon.

Lembayung becomes a complement and enhancer of beauty when the sun turns in the evening.

Wouldn't Dusk indeed look beautiful if decorated Lembayung? and Lembayung would not have appeared if God had not presented Dusk.

***

I took the phone from the top of the nightstand, turned it on. Slightly squinting at the light from the phone.

The time is 07:02 in the morning. As I remember last night I was drinking a soft drink, then after that went into the room and played cell phone. Occasionally scroll social media feeds, on the homepage seen a series of posts from school friends.

Dion and Rian post a date with her boyfriend.

The posts that appeared on my homepage were just some friends that I followed, maybe about 20 people.

Lembayung deliberately not I follow. but I secretly like the stalking ig because it is not in private.

My followers are quite a lot about 12k. somehow many follow me when my post is only 3, it's just a sight. And most of those who follow are women.dozens of DM of them I've never seen, Lazy.

There were those who offered me a job as an advertising star, and there were still many DMs who entered the lazy I replied one by one.

Maybe one day I could change my mind, and yell at one of the job offers of some PH.

I don't know.it's not my world.But I haven't had a part-time job in months, I usually accept whatever job Bang Roy gave me, including being one of the couriers delivering illegal drugs to many actresses or actors of the country without being known by the public and the authorities.Although bang Roy told me with coercion and acts of violence.

Maybe that's when they became interested in my physique, and I started to get inundated with a lot of lucrative offers in the entertainment world.

Not sure.

Tumben once last night I open social media, usually very rarely. Perhaps because at that time my mind and heart were in a state of turmoil due to nightmares. It suddenly warms to remember Lembayung, and is impulsively anxious to see his face. Then I open social media and find the posts on her feed that cools the heart. I also stalked the snapgram.. She was watching a Korean drama, after which I unconsciously fell asleep until morning.

Because today is Saturday, a school holiday. I immediately changed into a white T-shirt and short training pants. Wearing sneakers to run in the morning. By installing earphones in both ears, running small from my apartment located on jl. Free towards the Dago road, which became one of my favorite roads for me to make a running route.

***