Mahram To Azira
Chapters 24.5
Azira finished wiping her body with a towel. Occasionally his eyes glanced towards the milk glass not far from him. He wanted to get close to confirm the result, but he had some doubts. For example, maybe the time is not quite right or the reason that most makes his heart depressed is a fear. Whether the result was as she and her husband expected, or just the opposite, a disappointment.
"Is it time I saw?" He's talking to himself.
A few seconds later, he shook his head in disagreement. What if the time is not right?
"Ah.... for example... the results are too late, what if the results are disappointing?" Azira was troubled by doubts.
He was scared but also curious to know what the outcome would be. It was just that he was unwilling to act out of anticipation of the fear in his heart.
"But... Come to think of it this month I haven't come to the moon. I guess it's a few days late because I also know I'm thinking a lot during this time. But it's the end of the month, it's a long way from my normal schedule. Could it..." Azira held her head nervously.
Glancing at the milk glass container for the umpteenth time, he closed his eyes making the decision he thought was most appropriate.
"Ah. maybe the time is not enough. I. I'll check it after I finish my evening prayer so that the results are more supportive." His head nodded in agreement like a chicken pecking at rice.
"Well, I have to pray right away." He walked to the door, holding the doorknob, he did not immediately push it but hesitantly looked back. Precisely staring at the testespek collection in the container.
Taking a deep breath, in his heart he hummed softly.
O God, give me and Kenzie a chance to have Your precious trust. I promise, I promise to be a good mother to our children, giving all the love and affection I never felt before to our children. I promise our children will never feel the pain I felt before, I will make sure they live in abundant affection without any injustice between them. I will make them one of the children who live happily in this world with their families. I promise in your name. Azira's mind raised a prayer from his heart.
Perhaps it was because the suffering in the past made Azira cultivate this sincere hope in her heart. Because he really misses the love of his parents.
Maybe the mother or other family does not know how jealous she feels when she sees children her age used to live happily with complete parents while she was dumped.
Azira was jealous, really jealous. But she couldn't express what she felt because she knew even if she told Mom what she felt, the jealousy in his heart will never go away because Mother is unable to bring Father back into their lives and Father will not be willing to enter into their lives.
Azira knows. At such a young age he understood this well. That's why he used to close everything in his heart while promising, if he had the opportunity to have children, then he would try to keep his children to grow in happiness that he could not feel.