My CRUEL husband (S1&S2)
I hate

Soundtrack//cry-chen baek Xi(cbx)//

Can I forget those bitter memories?.

       Atan has not yet returned home.

The clock on the wall is already showing at 22:35pm.

Sis adin and mas ken have been home since 18.21pm.

They insist on bringing alpha to stay but given the age of alpha who is still quite sensitive and still rely on my breast milk when hungry I am afraid it will be troublesome mas ken and kak adin later.

What if at midnight the alpha fussy because of hunger? There's no way brother Adin andas ken should be home in the middle of the night.

Adin looks very disappointed but he also knows my purpose of banning it.

Wait until the alpha age can be freely brought, I will not object to that.

Alfa was very tired of playing with brother Adin and connected again with me earlier until now he had run out of battery and slept into a dream.

I laid the alpha in the basket and was about to head to the sofa to wait for Astan's return.

But before that I have to clean up the scattered alpha toys first.

I smiled at how cute the toy was.

And the one who chose it was Astan's own mas for alpha.

Again I miss the time of Astan and confused by the attitude of Astan.

I put the alpha toy basket right on the edge of the room wall.

I heard a strange sound from downstairs.

"Mas, "Call me open the door to the room but it's very dark.

Who turned off the lights in this room?.

"Mas, "Call me again but this time I was a little was was without cause.

No more legalities.

Don't you turn away?

"Ma, mas, that's a dum, isn't it? I'm afraid mas, don't be kidding" I held tightly to the handle of the stairs and went down the stairs with a heart.

Again, no advice at all.

I slowly walked down the stairs to pick up the golf club that I kept there just in case I was afraid that it was a thief.

I made a standby want to hit but suddenly Mas Astan walked from the kitchen with a birthday cake and candles that have been lit.

"Happy birthday dear"

Mas Astan walked towards me with a smile.

My feet trembled in fear and the golf club fell because my hands were shaking too, unable to hold it anymore.

My tears are flowing so hard.

The memory reappears.

Mas Astan right in front of me while singing the song Happy Birthday to me.

My head was dizzy and I was suddenly scared.

I sensed that all those bitter memories were coming again at this moment.

"Dear, what's wrong with you? " Tanya at Astan.

I can't speak anymore, my breath has even begun to be knocked unsteady.

I walked backwards and ran towards the room.

I hugged my body in the corner of the room and cried in silence there.

I really don't want to remember that anymore.

I hate my own birthday.

I don't want to celebrate, I don't deserve to celebrate.

How can I celebrate my birthday when I know that's the day my mother died of my stupidity and selfishness.

If only I hadn't forced my father to go on a road alone and leave my sick mother alone I wouldn't have lost my own mother.

I don't like my own birthday.

"Hiks, , " I was trembling in fear and it was as if I was seeing the burning fire.

My mother burned in that house full of fire.

"Hiks,,  "

Dad and I couldn't do anything when I found out that Mom was locked up in the house.

I don't know why the door was locked from the inside.

I hate this memory.

I don't deserve to be happy because of my crimes.

"Hiks, "I hugged myself even tighter.

I heard footsteps coming towards me.

Mas Astan crouched down in front of me with a worried face.

He slowly lowered his head and hugged my trembling body.

"I'm sorry for scaring you dear"

I cried even harder in the arms of Astan.

I want to escape that dark memory and live a normal life.

It sounds selfish, but I really want it that way.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry" Mas Astan pulled my body closer and grabbed my frightened body.

I was still crying in Astan's arms.

I really don't know how to forget all that.

Mas Astan lifted me who was still crying.

He laid me down but I refused and still held him in his arms out of fear.

He did not come and just quietly patted my back slowly.

"Sst,, forgive me dear, sorry for scaring you, but here don't be afraid anymore"

I hugged Astan tightly with a still loud cry.

After I calmed down, Astan gave me water and laid my body down as well as his.

He made his arm my pillow.

I hugged Astan's body even tighter.

"I'm sorry for scaring you dear" Mas Astan stroked the tip of my head fondly.

I'm shaking.

"When I thought you'd be happy just now, I'm sorry for making your happy day so messy"

I shook my head again.

"I'm not like that because of you, I just remember my mom"

Mas Astan stroked my head.

"I don't hate it just because I celebrate my birthday, I just don't like my birthday, I hate myself"

Mas Astan shook his head and hugged me even tighter.

"Why hmmm? " The Astan.

I also told all the stories where I had to lose my mother just because my selfishness forced my father to accompany me on the road and leave my mother alone at home.

By the time we came home was already on fire and mom was locked inside.

I cried hard because I remembered it all.

"Here you go, baby, it's not your fault"

Mas Astan stroked my back to calm me down.

I shook my head "hiks, I'm the bad guy, I made my mom go to the hyx,,, "

Mas Astan shook his head.

"It is a pity that there is a silver lining, it may be that his destiny is like that, we just need to be positive in responding to it" Mas Astan tried to give understanding to me.

I just kept quiet hearing that.

If you think also why mas Astan can change this well and accept me?.

That's all because Astan received her with his chest roomy.

Will I be able to accept all of this too? And forget that bitterness?.

"You rest well baby, maybe you're tired now"

I nodded and tried to close my eyes.

//connect//

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Kasian Mina is still traumatized.

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