So In Love
EP. 22. Disillusioned

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Around eleven p.m., Shien finished cleaning himself up in the bathroom after a while ago Sky brought him home from the beach. The atmosphere was very awkward during the trip home due to that unexpected and quite long kiss scene.

Putting herself in front of the dresser. Shien let out a long sigh as he closed his eyes to calm his heart.

Without Sky telling, from the beginning Shien also knew that he had fallen in love with the male figure named Sky. Only, he tried to deny every second, lying to himself that he did not like Heaven and would not let his heart fall.

Shien always tried to throw away his feelings before he fell too deep. But in reality, his heart was falling more and more into the figure of Heaven every day.

It was not without reason that Shien had to throw his feelings all the way to the Heavens. First, he did not want to hurt his brother who first liked and met the man. Shien even felt very bad after kissing, he felt that he had betrayed Shanna. No. gabe. He felt very bad after going all day with the Sky. There was a feeling of guilt in his heart.

And secondly, from the beginning Shien had already told himself not to tie himself to anyone.

Shien is not stupid to not know that his health condition is getting worse every day, although Aunt Hilda and Nathan doctors do not tell him.

Shien was not pessimistic about continuing to fight for survival, but the fact that his life might not be long was undeniable. And Shien didn't want to take the risk of giving someone he loved a miserable experience. Be it the sky or anyone else.

Had he stepped forward, Shien would still have left the Sky in the end. It was better to stop now than to let Heaven be tormented later, when Shien's life was forcibly taken.

Yes, Shien had to make Heaven stop and give up on him early. At least it won't be too painful because their relationship hasn't gone into a further stage. Shien had to give the man an affirmation immediately. So is he with himself.

“Make Shien even more beautiful.”

Shien smiled amusedly as he read the words Sky had written on the lid of his daily medicine box while they were in a hotel room a few hours ago to clean up after returning from the beach.

“I've given you a spell on your medicine.” Said Sky shortly after he doodled Shien's daily medicine box using a small marker. “So, don't skip the medicine or you'll turn ugly.”

Shien's facial sharpness looked sad as he recalled that. “Make Shien healed.” Shien interpreted the spell that Heaven had written like that, which was actually a prayer. “So, don't skip the medicine or you get sicker.” The sky encouraged him with metaphors so as not to offend him. But it actually made Shien sad because he felt pitied. And Shien dislikes anyone pitying him the most.

Ahh, Shien's heart and mind are completely chaotic today.

Shien stepped out of his room after he took the medicine. His steps came to a halt right in front of Shanna's room door.

Shien spent a few minutes longer in front of the door of the white-colored room while occasionally exhaling heavily. Until a moment later, his hand stretched out to open the door of the room carefully so as not to wake the owner of the room who may have fallen asleep. Obviously, it's almost midnight.

As Shien set foot in the room, he felt like he was entering another world. Like watching a concert of several K-Pop boy groups at once. Posters with logos that read ARMY, EXO-L, NU’EST, and many more emblazoned very large filled the walls of the room, similarly, the polaroid photo patch that Shien guessed was a member of the boy group enlivened the walls of the room. Only the ceiling of the room is clean from posters and photos.

Cih, even though the faces of the idols are all the same. Why would Shanna bother to stick to hundreds of photos? One photo is enough. That was according to Shien's thoughts that were completely uninterested in the world of K-Pop.

Shien shuddered as a lot of things scattered on the floor of the room. Books, music albums, wrapping used snacks, papers, and others were lying everywhere. Can this still be called a room? Even the cow pen is cleaner than this. Luckily Shanna's room didn't smell. Looks like Shanna still cares about spraying her room with the smell of my sweet and quite stinging harajuku on Shien's nose. Ahh, but this is not from the room fragrant, but Shanna's perfume.

Dodging various objects lying on the floor, Shien walked carefully towards the bed where Shanna was sleeping on her side right now.

The girl then crawled up onto the bed slowly so as not to disturb Shanna.

Using one hand as a cushion, Shien looked at the sleeping brother's back with a sad look.

“Sorry.” Lirih. His voice was so tight that he did not come out.

I'm sorry that he also likes men that Shanna likes. Sorry because his heart was pounding for him too. Sorry to walk quietly with the man behind her. Sorry for not dodging so well when the man approached her.

Shien wanted to say all that, but he did not dare. In the end, he just held it in his heart.

Shanna is a good sister, since long ago she was willing to do anything for Shien and also the person who always protected her. Shanna wasn't even angry when her old boy friend preferred to play with Shien caring for a rabbit, instead of playing bicycle with him.

Shien also recalled, as they went to the toy store in the mall. There was one edition of the Barbie doll that really caught their attention. And knowing Shien likes her too, Shanna says that Shien can have her and she will choose another. His face looked sad, but his words and eyes were very sincere.

This time Shien would not let Shanna continue to relent for him. Shien also wanted to be a good sister. Its alright. Shien did not mind if Sky would become his sister-in-law.

As long as Shanna's happy. Shien would not regret it.

“I love you more than I can say, sister.” Whisper Shien lirih. His index finger stretched out stroked Shanna's back, causing Shanna to be disturbed and begin to wriggle from her deep sleep.

Sensing someone touching her back, Shanna woke up. He slowly opened his eyes, then turned around. He saw the little sister looking at him with a sad look.

“Shi?” Shanna squinted her eyes, then blinked. She could not believe that Shien had entered her room, even lying right next to her. Because of what he knew, Shien was never willing to enter his room on the grounds of being messy. Yeah, it's messy, anyway. If it's clean, it's not Shanna's room.

“Ehh. . , wake up, yes? Sorry.” Shien looks clumsy.

Sighs long. Shanna then fixed her position, just like Shien. They were facing each other like objects in a mirror.

“New home, Shi?” Shanna asked with a hoarse voice typical of people waking up.

Shien flinching. Feeling increasingly guilty because he was quibbling on the grounds of working overtime when Shanna called him, where he and Sky were still on their way home a few hours ago.

“Emm.” Shien nodded weakly. The corner of his eyes was sticking down, not daring to look into Shanna's clear eyes as he answered her.

“Delivered Fina?” And once again Shien was forced to answer with a nod accompanied by a thin smile that shook his eyes to look teary.

“Doctor Nathan says you can't overwork.” Ohh, Shien regrets lying. Now even Shanna is worried about him. “Why not recede? Basic naughty girl.” Shanna gave a hard jolt to the forehead of the sister to make her groan in pain.

“Ngeselin” Grunts Shien while rubbing his sore forehead. While Shanna just squeaks no matter.

“You sleep here?” Ask Shanna later. Again divine Shien simply responded with a nod.

“Tumben?” Lady Shanna.

“Mumpung still had.” Shien said, then he exhaled heavily before then returning to his mouth. “Cause someday you’ll live without me.” Shien continued in his soft voice, then chuckled softly.

Shanna fell silent with a stifled face, then glared at the sister to make her stop chuckling. It was as if Shien had said that in a moment when he looked fine.

“Do not mess up.” Tegur Shanna who did not like the sentence Shien said. “Quick sleep.” The bridge while throwing Shien's face with bolsters.

Shien only snorted, then he slowly fell asleep beside his twin brother.

“One more time talking like that, I hit you.” Shien grumbled to himself in front of his sister who had already gone to dreamland, then painstakingly covered Shien to cover his neck.

“You must be strong, Shien.” Shanna whispered in Shien's ear, before she fell asleep hugging her only sister. The sister he loved so much that Shanna was willing to do anything for him.

********

The next day, Shien woke up with a very heavy head, as well as his breathing, and his chest felt very sore.

Shien grimaced softly as he felt a pain in his left wrist as he accidentally touched it, apparently there already stuck an infusion needle.

The girl then spread her eyes around. His forehead was furrowed deeply as it turned out that he was in the hospital room. Shien was confused, since when and why he could be in the hospital? Didn't Shien sleep in Shanna's room last night? Especially when he saw the clock pointing to the number three fitting. Whether it was three in the morning or evening, Shien had no idea.

Shien did feel very tired and limp last night, could it be that he had a heart attack while sleeping and fainted? Ahh, that's overkill. This has never happened before.

“Shi, are you awake?” Someone's exclamation made Shien turn his head.

Shien frowned looking at Shanna who was looking at him stupefiedly and almost cried. “Stupid. Is it too comfortable to sleep in my room until you're hard to build?” Shanna hit Shien slowly on the shoulder with annoyance and relief at once because her sister had already regained consciousness.

Shanna was shocked and frightened when she woke up this morning and found Shien still asleep next to her. Previously he felt astonished because Shien usually always woke up earlier than himself.

Shanna tried to wake Shien up, but the girl continued to flinch as hard as she shook Shien's body. Fifteen minutes later, Shanna panicked and called her parents.

Shien's condition was even critical because he was late to the hospital. Luckily his condition stabilized again after the doctor gave him treatment.

“Do not cry, your face is very ugly if you cry.” Ledek Shien with a raucous voice, making Shanna snort.

“You know, no, Shi.” She wiped her snot using the patient's sleeve that Shien was wearing.

“Jorok, Shanna.” Shien protested irritated by his weak voice.

“Bodo.” Sahut Shanna doesn't care. The girl then got up from her seat, then walked to the bathroom where Papa was there. Shien followed Shanna's direction.

“Pa, Shien is up.” Shanna exclaimed as she charged through the bathroom door with vigor.

Papa who was washing his face in there, then came out and walked over to Shien.

“Sha, call doctor Nathan and call Mama.” Papa's orders, make Shanna move out immediately.

“Shi, you were critical earlier.” Said Papa who was seen holding back his cries. “Papa is very afraid if you do not wake up again.” Then Papa rubbed Shien's forehead affectionately.

Shien did not answer. The girl turned her face away. His heart was still reluctant to reconcile, even though the attitude of his parents had returned as he was when he was six years old.

The cold attitude of his parents that he last saw at the grandmother's funeral is so attached to Shien's heart and mind, that he suspects to be able to put hope again to his parents.

Shortly after, there was the sound of Mama entering in a hurry.

“Shien.” Excited as he hugged Shien. Her tears looked bright. “Yes, Mama very dear Shien.” Then kiss the temple of the youngest daughter with love.

Guilt re-emerged in his heart. How irresponsible a mother who has neglected her child, who clearly needs the attention of her support.

Mama could not imagine how difficult it would be to face Shien while fighting alone against his illness. “Im sorry Mama.” And Mama could only say that sorry in her heart. His voice choked every time he was about to say those two words, until his tone never came out. And so does Papa who feels the same way.

Shien only faced his two parents blankly. Shanna who had rejoined, the girl almost cried again.

“Your face is very ugly, sis.” Ledek Shien while smiling weakly.

Shanna grunts as hell. “Stupid girl.” Tweet later.

“Quick healthy. Aunt Hilda says she wants to come home tomorrow.” Imbuh Shanna, made Shien's eyes instantly sparkle. Her flat face turned happy.

Seeing that clearly made the hearts of both his parents grimace sadly. It turned out that their standing in Shien's heart had already been replaced with Hilda's, but they couldn't protest for it either.

“But, don't expect you to get out of the house even though Aunt Hilda has come.” Connect Shanna while sticking out her tongue. Shien simply responded with an amused grunt.

Shortly after, Nathan's doctor came to check on Shien's condition. And he also said that Shien should be hospitalized for a few days and undergo a complete examination.

It made Papa, Mama, and Shanna very worried to hear it. But Nathan's doctor tried to calm them down.

“Cuma check the fittings. Don't let it be his expression.” Shien said to Shanna who was sitting next to him. Shanna was just glaring, how could he not be anxious?

“I'm fine, right, doctor?” Shien turns to Nathan's doctor.

“Now all right.” Doctor Nathan's. “But, next time be horrified what the doctor advises. I told you not to fuss, even overtime work until fainting like gini. Naughty girls.” Doctor Nathan then pinched Shien's forehead like Shanna did last night.

“Basic doctor gadungan.” Bump Shien while rubbing his forehead which now looks a little blue because it has twice got a hard jolt in the same place.

“Sorry, what did you say?” Doctor Nathan stared at Shien protesting.

“Doctors who mistreat their patients. If not a fake what is its name?” Shien glanced.

While Papa and Mama just smiled amusedly at their little quarrel. Doctor Nathan is very humble, making it easy to blend in with anyone. Including with Shien who is basically cold and difficult to get along with.

********

“Shien. . .” Call Shanna shortly after Nathan's doctor exits Shien's room. So did Papa and Mama who came out because Nathan's doctor wanted to talk to them as guardians of Shien.

“Didn't you feel that Nathan's doctor looked like someone?” Shanna asked as she grabbed an orange from the top of the nightstand to peel, then ate it herself. Shien who saw it only snorted. She thinks Shanna peels oranges for her.

“Finish who? The sissy guy in your room?” Shien asked again.

Yes, maybe Nathan looks like one of the boy group members whose picture is in Shanna's room, considering Nathan has a Korean face.

“Bans your mouth.” Shanna protests while throwing orange peel at Shanna. It's nice that his idol is said to be a pussy. But Shien just hung on no matter, because he thought the idol boy group was pretty face. It's not a wrong nickname, is it?

“You remember Sister Niel?” Shanna is back on the topic. Shien fell silent, trying to dig up information about the boy named Niel that might still be stored in his memory.

“That little time I like to bring him to play at home.” Shanna gave a clue.

“Ohh, love your monkey it.” Shien exclaimed as his memories managed to recall.

A boy named Niel who has a friendly personality. Shanna's classmate and upperclassman at school who always paid more attention to Shien after meeting him. The boy even went to his house almost every day before he disappeared due to moving to the Netherlands.

“But he's fat kayak bear. Where there's a doctor like Nathan.” Shanna continued while remembering the shape of the face and body of their little friend.

“And you've taken my bear.” Shanna's chirps, making Shien's countenance turn serious with a guilty look. But a moment later Shanna laughed at Shien's serious expression. He was just joking about saying it. Shanna never felt Shien snatch anything from her.

“Your expression is, you know, Shi.” Shien glanced at the laughing elder brother. “I'm just kidding, don't be serious like that, kali.” Imbuhnya.

But that's not what Shien meant. He only felt struck by the sentence Shien said “You have captured my bear.”

“Ngeselin you.” She poked Shien on Shanna's shoulder with her weak hand.

“But I think his face is similar, you know, Shi.” Shanna returned to the original discussion.

“Keep why if it looks like? Want you to take a taxi?” Cibir Shien, made Shanna snort.

“Ya, no, lah. Now that there is Heaven in my heart, I will not turn away even if I see Brother Niel again.” Sahut Shanna sure. He smiled amusedly considering his childhood which always asked Niel, the puffer boy to be his girlfriend. Geez, Shanna just realized, it turns out he has been expressive since childhood. But now his taste was different, he liked handsome and masculine men like Sky.

“Although Brother Niel turned into a doctor Nathan?” Shien asked defiantly.

“Yep. Now, there is nothing more interesting in my eyes and heart than Sky.” Shanna replied sure.

“Emang you are not interested in Sky, Shi?” Shanna asked suddenly, to the point of making Shien slightly flinch.

“Nggak.” Shien tried to answer as confidently as possible.

“Yang really?” Temptation Shanna with squeaking eyes. Shien turned his face away, choosing not to harm him.

“So, can I have him?” Shien snorted at the question of his brother. “What does it have to do with my permission? If you want Sky yes just take it, I am not interested at all at all he.” Sahut Shien's.

The girl then turned her gaze towards the door, intending to avoid a clash with Shanna. But, Shien instead found Sky standing in the doorway with a bouquet of roses in his hand, looking at him with a disappointed look.

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To be continued. . . .