So In Love
EP. 45. Promises

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That afternoon, Shien returned to the hotel with a tremendous pain striking his chest. Even with his heavy head. In fact, today Shien and his parents just play on the beach and visit the shopping center. But, Shien was already experiencing tremendous fatigue.

It might also be because Shien was too excited. Excited because one more dream on his wish list is realized, which is to go on vacation with Papa and Mama.

Three days spent in Bali with them, making the ice between Shien and his parents increasingly melt. Shien had also started to talk a lot. Even every night the girl discussed with Papa and Mama to determine the tourist attractions they will visit tomorrow.

Things are getting better. Back feeling the affection of the parents, Shien would not waste the opportunity God had given him. It felt, Shien wanted time to stop this time as well. This happiness and abundance of affection were more than enough for him.

“Shi, you're fine, right?” Mama who walked following Shien looked worriedly at Shien who was walking unsteadily towards the bed.

“Ke hospital only, yes?” Mama's advice, then he hurriedly took Shien's medicine box lying on the nightstand. Intentionally, I keep it there to be easy to reach.

“I'm fine, really, Ma.” Shien quibbled, even though his breath was already too tight. Shien did not want to mess up his vacation by being hospitalized. He doubts if he will get a chance like this again in the future.

“Just a little dizzy, taking medicine also subsides.” Connect Shien with all your might. However, still the sound that comes out is very slow to make Mama more worried.

“Mama worry, Shi.” Mama turned her head with a frown and a glare in my eyes, indicating that the woman was really worried about her.

Shien shook his head weakly with a faint smile from his pale lips covered in terracottas. “I’m okay” Heeled slowly, almost like a whisper.

Mama sighed resignedly, unable to force if Shien did not want to. “Yes already, if so you take medicine first.”

Shien nodded, then got up from his bed to take the medicine that Mama had prepared.

“Sorry.” Squeak Shien handed the glass to Mama with trembling hands. Mama was sad to see it, but as much as possible she tried to hold back her tears so as not to fall.

“Why apologize? What are you wrong? Hem?” Mama asked shortly after she put Shien's used glass on the nightstand, and gently rubbed the girl's head.

“Udah ngerepotin.” Shien replied with a bitter smile. If Shien is healthy, maybe they can vacation comfortably without having to worry every day. Had Shien been allowed to ask, Shien wanted God to strengthen his body, at least as long as he spent a few days here with his parents.

“Shien, you're exhausted. Let him rest, Ma. Let's say no digress.” Papa who came followed to the room with both hands full of grocery bags of the hunted Mama and Shien in the shopping center earlier.

“Mama thought I'd never heard of this.” Mama looked at Shien not like it. More precisely, not liking the speech that the girl had just thrown.

“Quick sleep. He said he wants a night culineran, must be healthy first.” And a gentle swipe back Shien felt touched his head. The girl only nodded weakly in response.

“Need to call a doctor here no, Ma?” Ask Papa after putting her shopping bag by the bed.

Mama glanced at Shien to ask for his approval, but the girl quickly shook her head.

“It looks like it doesn't work, Pa.” My mother replied doubtfully. Actually, he hoped Shien would approve. At least Mama will be calmer if the doctor has examined and handled the youngest daughter.

Same with Mama, Papa can only sigh resignedly. He hopes Shien is okay.

The middle-aged man then went to a separate living room with the hotel room to pick up the phone from the office, and for sure it was related to his work.

“Sleep here, Shi. Very long ago, you know, not rich gini.” Mama patted the pillow she placed on her thigh shortly after she made a comfortable position by sitting on her back and leaning her back on the headboard of the bed.

Shien blinked, looking at Mama doubtfully. As a child, Shien loved sleeping on her lap. The delicate hands that touched his head, as well as the lullaby, made him very calm and comfortable. Shien missed that. But, doing it after he grew up felt a little strange.

“Ya if you don't want.” My mom looks disappointed.

“I didn't say that.” Sambar Shien was quick, thus undoing the intention of Mama who was about to lower the pillow from her thigh.

Mama smiled amusedly, hearing Shien coldly and looking prestige. Then with a stiff movement, the girl placed her head on top of Mama's lap.

The corner of Mama's heart was filled for a moment. This was the moment he missed so much, seeing Shien fall asleep on his lap.

The biggest regret in Mama's life that made her heart sad was abandoning Shien.

Time travel as a parent goes quickly and is non-refundable. Shien was already big, and Mama regretted not accompanying his growth. Had Mama been given a chance to live again in the next life, Mama would have wanted to go back to being Shien's parents and do her best, so that it could erase any mistakes he had already done to Shien in his current life.

“Shien. . .” Call Mama lirih.

Shien looked up to bring his gaze together with the face of the middle-aged woman who still looked young.

“You're still mad at Mama?” Mama asked in a raucous voice, trying to endure the pain in her chest after seeing Shien's sad-turning expression.

Shien was not angry anymore, even the pain was still very heartbreaking if he remembered it. It's just that, now Shien wants to let go. Letting go of all forms of anger on her parents. And he's trying. How did he answer my mother's question?

“Slight.” Chirping Shien while pinning a small smile from his lips. Shien did not know what to answer. Shien did not want to lie to his feelings by saying he was not angry, but in his heart still stored disappointment.

“Sorry Mama, yes. Sorry for making you sad all this time.” Please Mama with tears starting to fade.

Shien looked at Mama's grim expression before him. Shien also knew that the middle-aged woman was indeed deeply regretting her mistake.

“At that time, Mama has been unwise to ignore and give you the same babysitter. And Shawn time goes. . .” Mama hung up her sentence for a moment, along with her tears that were no longer contained. “Mama can not control yourself and think clearly to the point of blaming you for everything.”

The corner of Shien's eyes was sticking down. Shien remembered very clearly those times. And that was the most painful moment of his life.

“But, Mama didn't mean to blame you, Shi. My mother was unconscious at that time. Sorry Mama.” Mama grabbed Shien's hand and grabbed it. Her guilt towards Shien was so great that Mama could not forgive herself.

His words at that time were truly a mistake. Quite the contrary, Mama did not want God to take Shien before her. At that time, Mama was just overwhelmed to process her emotions after being left behind, until she subconsciously exposed everything to Shien.

“Sorry to be a failed parent for you.” Mother for her feelings. It's been a long time that Mama has wanted to reveal all this to Shien. And only today did he get the courage to apologize and admit his mistake. I have to admit, he was too embarrassed to do that. Shame at feeling his guilt towards Shien was too great and unforgivable.

Along with all the sentence after sentence thrown out, mama sobbed while bowing her head deeply. There was a feeling of relief and shame in his heart after he expressed his feelings.

Seeing Mama sobbing until her shoulders shook, Shien's tears came. He then woke up from his sleeping position and pulled Mama into his arms.

“I know, Ma. Big brother's departure is the toughest reality that is hard to accept. Mama must have had a hard time back then.” Shien tried to understand. However, it is not easy for Mama who has given birth to Shawn to accept the fact that her only son has left her.

Suddenly or not. We certainly will not be ready to be left behind by someone we care about. Given that the person is usually in our midst, there is now suddenly nothing. And it must be very difficult to deal with, including for Mama.

“And Mama is not a failed parent. You’re the best mom ever!” Shien continued while rubbing Mama's back to make the woman calm. Shien didn't like the words you said last time.

Okay. Maybe Mama made a mistake that time, but that does not mean she is a failed parent. As Shanna once said, no human being is perfect in this world.

As human beings, we must have made mistakes, including the mistakes of parents in children.

Regrets always come too late. And being disappointed when feeling betrayed is natural. Mistakes can't be eliminated, but they can be corrected. Just like what happened with Shien and his parents. They can rebuild better and healthier relationships together.

“Thank you for trying to understand. Mama is shameless, Shi?” Mama slightly pushed Shien's body in order to reach out to the beautiful face of her child.

Shien shook his head weakly. “Don't say that anymore.” Shien's voice sounded hoarse, his hands then outstretched wiping the tears that were still scattering filled Mama's face.

“So you don't mind sorry Mama?” Mama asked as she stared fixedly at Shien.

The girl looked back at Mama clingy and caught the earnestness of the middle-aged woman apologizing to her. Before long, Shien finally nodded his head weakly as the medicine he had been drinking began to work on his body, Shien felt his eyes begin to tighten.

“Thank you, Nak.” Mama hugged Shien so happy. Mama knows, Shien definitely has not been able to forgive himself completely. But, at least the feelings of guilt that stuck in his heart during this time slowly began to overflow after Mama said an apology.

“Ma. . .” Call Shien in a weak voice. “Hem?” Ask Mama who is still reluctant to let go of her embrace as if she does not want to be separated again.

“I'm sleepy.” Shien replied almost as if whispering. Mama smiled amusedly, then gently released that pretty tight hug slowly.

“Ya is asleep, gih.” Mama said, once again the woman rubbed Shien's head affectionately.

Shien went back to sleep and tried to secure the position of his head on Mama's lap by facing the belly of the middle-aged woman who had given birth to him twenty-five years ago, then hugged him without hesitation.

“Shien. . .” Mama gently stroked Shien's head to make the girl feel calmer, Shien feeling that he had found his comfort again.

“Iya. . .” Shien, trying to wake up even though his eyes are very heavy.

“Mama wants you to know this. You belong to the most precious mother. This whole family is Mama's treasure. Mama dear to you.” Mom tried to hold back her crying again.

Shien nodded weakly. It seemed, he could not speak anymore, even though he wanted to reply to Mama's words. Shien was really sleepy right now.

“Shien. . .” Mama called her daughter back, as if she didn't want the conversation to end. Shien only answered him in a slow sigh, along with his eyes that slowly began to shut.

“Promise Mama, Shi.” Mama slipped Shien's messy hair behind her ear.

“Never stay in Mom like your sister.”

There was no word from the girl. Shien did not hear it. Only, he could not promise. Her chest often feels so painful lately that it makes her unable to bear it. Not to mention his body that was too tired too quickly. Shien was not unwilling to promise, but Shien had no idea what would happen to him later, no matter how eager he was to survive.

If only God had given him a prayer to be answered. Thus, Shien would ask to be able to live even longer. Because Shien loves Papa, Mama, Aunt Hilda, Shanna, and also.

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Shien woke up with a pain in his chest that had subsided slightly. Slowly, Shien opened his eyes, looking at the President Suite room as it looked quiet. My mom is not there beside him anymore. However, the next second he saw the balcony door open. Shien faintly heard the voices of Papa and Mama who were somehow talking about what. And that's enough to answer Shien's question about his parents' whereabouts.

Shien grabbed his bag lying on top of the bed, then reached into his phone which sounded vibrating inside there. And Shien gets some missed call notifications and chat messages from the Sky.

Sky :

Duhh, who's on vacation until I can't pick up my phone.

Ohh, yes. This afternoon I want to take a walk to the mall with your sister.

Trust me, would you?

Love you, Shien. ❤

Shien put his phone on the pillow, then sighed deeply and exhaled quickly. Shien would not be jealous because Sky and Shanna were friends. But, what became odd in his head and heart right now was how to tell Shanna about her relationship with the Sky.

Shien got out of bed as soon as Mama came from the balcony and told him to hurry to clean up as they were going to catch the night. The girl walked to the bathroom. Maybe after this Shien will talk about it with Sky, because Shien does not want to hide his relationship any longer and cause misunderstandings between himself and Shanna that might happen later.

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To be continued. . . .