So In Love
EP. 70. I Hate How Much I Love You

********

Nothing had changed from that place after sixteen years had passed. The luxurious villa in Lembang still looks the same. An expanse of well-preserved green grass stretches along the lawn. Shady trees further strengthen the atmosphere around the cold air. Coupled with a variety of ornamental plants that are deliberately arranged in such a way as to fill the terrace, further adding to the aesthetic value of the villa.

Swallowing saliva to wet his throat that feels dry. Shien walked towards the artificial lake that was behind the villa with a slightly trembling body. His feelings raged until he could not recognize them. Except for the sad that came back to the surface.

Carefully, Shien laid down the white tulips he had bought while on his way to the surface of the calm-looking artificial lake. The artificial lake where her brother's life was taken by force, Shawn. Shien's trembling legs made him slightly unsteady until he chose a crouching position.

“What was the state of the big brother at that time?” Shien stared at the pus of the clean, well-kept lake water, there was only a hint of leaf litter and tree branches that were accidentally carried away by the wind and fell there. But not to dirty or reduce its beauty. “Surely she's freezing, yes, Mang?”

“Hmm. . .” Mang Ujang who had accompanied Shien since the beginning of his arrival a moment ago muttered, confused as to what to answer. “The body is blue all.”

“Ehem.” Shien cleared his throat uncomfortably while carrying his body to stand up, then sat on the long chair made of white-painted iron that was on the side of the artificial lake. Shien closed his eyes to brush off the shadow cast from Mang Ujang's words earlier. Shien did not want it to bring himself back in fear of thinking about things that could not return.

“Can stay with me alone?” Pinta Shien who was more thunderous like an order.

Mang Ujang was speechless as he looked at Shien doubtfully. Because, he was wanted to watch over Shien, afraid that the girl might return paranoid or do things beyond belief because she remembered her past.

“But. . .”

“Don't worry, I can't drink poison that suicides good than splash into cold water.” Sela Shien was leaping in origin, as if able to read the horror on Mang Ujang's head.

Mang Ujang gulped his hard-earned saliva as his gaze collided with Shien's cold gaze which implied his dislike for Mang Ujang still flinching in place. Then without being able to fight, Mang Ujang said goodbye and left Shien alone there, enjoy the atmosphere of the afternoon that began to fog and the temperature dropped until the cold enveloped any object that was in the wild there.

“Hai, Brother. . .” Said Shien with a slightly choked esophagus. It seems, he will not be able to speak anymore.

For the first time Shien returned to this place after that incident. Shien wasn't brave enough before last night Shawn came into his dream and smiled asking for news.

That guilty feeling was still lingering in his heart, and perhaps it would last a lifetime. Shien was aware that he was still too fragile to truly come to terms with reality.

“I'm sorry, Brother.” Shien said that in his heart. His cry broke out in aspersion without making a sound.

“So I lied, he said wait a minute. But you're not back.”

All the last memories with Shawn revolved around his head like a movie roll. Really bad. More scary than the horror movie he had ever watched to make him unable to sleep well if he remembered.

“Soak lies. He said he wanted to see me heal and take me around the world. But, now you don't even exist. . .”

Shien then told me, even though he only spoke in his heart. Shien says that he may soon recover because exactly two days ago Nathan brought good news to him that the hospital had already found a suitable donor for Shien. Earlier this morning, Shien had a medical check-up to make sure he was ready for a transplant operation scheduled for next week.

As if Shawn was really before him, Shien continued to tell stories. He said that he now has a very handsome girlfriend but is quite a jerk. Had Shawn been around, Shien would have asked his brother to beat up the sky until his face became ugly. Not to forget, he also complained about Shanna's changed behavior to him.

“If you are still around. You must have mediated us, right, sister?”

Shien smiled bitterly. Good and bad things come to him almost simultaneously. Shien did not know how to express it. But, Nathan said to focus on preparing for his operation. Thus, Shien did not want to think of anything else that made his head dizzy and his mood bad. Especially Sky and Shanna who lately really disturbed his feelings. Stupid time with them. Why think about it? After all, they also did not care about Shien's feelings at all.

“Non. . .” The gentle voice of someone made Shien turn his head for a moment. A half-century-old woman approached, then draped a blanket over her shoulder to ward off the cold air that pierced the skin along with the darkening sky because it was almost midnight.

“After night, Non. Come in.” Bi Entin grabbed Shien by the shoulder, intending to help the girl move from her seat.

Shien obeyed Bi Entin's gestures instructions. Only, he chose to bow. Shien was embarrassed to show his messy face before Bi Entin. But the tears were still flowing, dripping down onto the ground past his slightly taper chin.

“Shortly, Bi.” Speak with a loud voice. She turned around, turned her back to Bi Entin to relieve her tears and wiped her tears with her sleeves because Shien had no tissue.

While Bi Entin patiently waited for her, it was as if he was dealing with a child who was sulking reluctant to be invited home from the playground.

After Shien managed to make himself completely calm, he then walked side by side with Bi Entin to enter the villa. Shien planned to stay one night and spend the entire day there to calm down before the surgery, as after this he had to start staying in the hospital.

Although Shien was already used to it, but it could not be denied if he was anxious enough for this one major operation.

Not much conversation had taken place between Shien and Bi Entin all the way into the villa. The quiet Shien made Bi Entin feel awkward trying to open a conversation or chat with Shien. It was very different when he faced Shanna who talked a lot and connected with any chat. Bi Entin never ran out of topics when he was with Shanna. But with Shien, to start the conversation only he was confused. Bi Entin simply said that he had already prepared dinner for her, and Shien only responded to that with a nod. No more conversations after that.

********

The night sky always has an unexpected beauty that will make anyone amazed at the magnitude of the universe.

After dinner, Shien sat pensively on the chair in the rooftop villa with a reflector telescope in front of him. The place was quite comfortable for him to calm down, Shien liked to observe the celestial objects with Shawn when they were on vacation here. Whether it is the moon, stars, or meteors, all celestial objects make anyone stunned by their beauty.

Shien was not very good at using telescopes so well that the objects he saw appeared to be blurred. He is not as smart as Shawn who is still a child who is very familiar with using star binoculars and aiming at celestial objects that they want to see exactly.

Shien misses the Planetarium he visited while still in high school in America.

A star theater show that showed space simulations, star arrays, and all sorts of celestial bodies, Shien wanted to see it again. Ahh, looks like he should take Fina to the Planetarium after the operation.

Exhaling violently, Shien was desperate. Really stuttering technology. He then chose to ignore his telescope and lean his back on the back of the chair with his head up.

In the sky was a star that was shining very brightly. Shawn once told him it was Dhruva, which according to legend, the star in India is believed to be a powerful symbol of desire. The wish of a child named Dhruva who wants to meet the god Vishnu and is granted by the god.

But, even if it is Dhruva and can grant wishes why? Does Shien have to believe in a legend that cannot be proven? Shien shuddered indifferently. He still believes and has an all-round God.

“Shien. . .” The sound and touch of someone's hand on his shoulder made Shien slightly jerked and automatically changed his sitting position to strapping.

Shien instantly threw away his gaze as he found out who the person who was now standing right before him was, Sky.

Somehow the man was able to get here, Shien wasn't too curious and didn't want to find out either. Clearly, Shien was really lazy to look at that handsome face of Heaven.

Shien prepared to move, but the Sky quickly held him back. The sky knelt down with one foot in front of Shien, then grabbed the girl's hand to hold onto it.

“Do not punish me again, Shi.” Speak the Sky. “I beg.” The next one that did not get any approval from Shien.

“Sorry to me, Shi. I was wrong. . .” Said the Sky sounding raucous, he really felt bad, especially after seeing Shien's sad expression. “Sorry for making you sad like this. Sorry for cheating you. Sorry for all my stupidity that can't keep your feelings.” Please again, then kiss both hands Shien alternately. However, Shien was still at home with his composure.

“You really. . .” The sky lowered as it clasped Shien's hand tighter and tighter. “You really, I don't know the limits, I'm selfish, I even ignored you in Dufan and said something that hurt you, something I should have avoided. And the one in the store at that time. . .” Unable to continue squeezing the back of Shien's hand, he was truly sorry.

“I really-gener nyesel. Sorry, Shi.” The sky placed both Shien's tangas at his sides. “Don't avoid me anymore. Don't even think about leaving me.”

Shien raised his face, he could see an extremely sorry expression on the face of Heaven. His heart felt sorry to see that, but his tongue still felt faint to open the sound.

“I'm such a fool, right, Shi?” The sky stared at Shien's clear, wry-looking eyes.

“You're also a jerk.” Sahut Shien who retreated to the Sky with an annoyed look. While Sky who heard Shien finally opened a voice smiling in relief.

Shien then pulled both hands from the face of Heaven, then he used one hand to punch slowly the burly shoulders of the man. The man who had already let her down, but Shien could not hate her for long.

“I don't like to see you walk with other girls, laugh with other girls, too good with other girls, I don't like. You it. . .” Shien paused his fist for a bit, his hand floated before then again landing his fist with a hint of pressure to the point that Heaven felt a slight pain in his shoulder. “Job. You're the bad guy.”

The sky closed its eyes for a moment, letting Shien vent out any feelings that bothered him. Including venting all of Shien's annoyance at him through blows. Its alright. The pain in Shien's heart was nothing compared to the pain in his shoulder from the girl's little hand punch.

“I hate you. Go there. . .” Shien pushed Sky's shoulders with both hands, but Sky fluttered as Shien's small strength was completely unable to make Heaven's body move from its position.

“Go. . .” Dismiss Shien, and once again he landed a hard blow on Sky's shoulder.

“I know. . .” The sky held both hands of Shien who was about to hit him again. “I'm sorry. I'm gonna fix everything. You want to, don't you, sorry this jerk?”

Shien fell silent, not knowing what to answer. That feeling of annoyance and disappointment was still lingering in his heart. He might be able to forgive Heaven, but to forget all of Heaven's behavior yesterday, it didn't feel that easy.

“Sorry to me, Shi. . .” Speak the Sky, then scatter into Shien's body.

The girl flinched. Not refusing, nor returning the embrace of Heaven. But Sky was happy that Shien was not being defensive on her anymore.

“Iya, I know you love me so much.” The sky smiled amusedly, further tightening his embrace.

Shien snorted in annoyance, daring Heaven teased him while he was still angry and upset like this. Hid. He then landed a hard blow on the back of the man who was hugging him hard to make the sky grimace a little.

“You want to excuse me, right?” Sky asked with clarity as Shien never answered. “Give me a chance to make it right and to prove myself.” His request sounds real. Likewise with the look of his face that displays seriousness.

“I hope it doesn't disappoint.” Sahut Shien hesitated, but tucked away great hope in his spoken sentence.

“I’ll do my best.” Reply Heaven sure.

Withdrawing to meet Shien for a moment, then giving one a kiss over Shien's lips, then switching his forehead slightly longer. “Never think of leaving me, Shi.”

Shien snorted as he pulled one corner of his lips slightly forming an exasperated smile. “You have benefited too much during my relationship. I won't let you go.”

Sky grimacing. “So you feel disadvantaged?”

Shien poked with his jutek face. “You have stolen my heart, stole my first hug, stole my first kiss, touched my body, and much more.” Shien said as he folded his fingers one by one. “You should be responsible for that. Thief.” The rebound then, made Sky smile amused and anxious at once until he could not bear to not grab Shien's lips once more.

“Will I do.” The sky then raised one hand just as he had done the doctor's oath first. “I Sky, promise to be in charge of Shien's whole life.”

Shien throbbed, he felt amused, completely untouched by the words spoken from the sweet mouth of the Sky.

“Cock his lips like that?” Sky Protest while patting Shien's lips softly.

“Udah is the rubber, right? There go.” Dispel Shien, make Sky scowl with cute pursed lips.

“Udah malem, you know, Shi. Do you want to evict me?” The sky pretended to have an expression of pity.

“In this area many hotels.” Shien replied, still with an unfriendly look.

“Tante Risa let me stay here, really, make your name.” Sahut Langit took out his US card, thus making him feel like he had the upper hand because Shien could not fight him.

********

Shien sat on his back while leaning on the headboard of the bed. The drowsiness did not appear even though time had shown ten o'clock at night. Since then he just rolled around on the bed. Therefore, he chose to sit down and read an electronic book on his phone.

Shien's feelings suddenly fidgeted incoherently, perhaps that's what made it difficult for him to sleep. Somehow his heart was restless like that, when it should have flowered because he had made up with the Sky.

It was like a quiet day before the storm. Shien felt that way. But he immediately dismissed his strange thoughts.

Shien turned his head when he heard someone pull the handle of the room door he was in. The face of heaven as soon as the door opened.

“Shi, you haven't slept?” Ask Sky by bending his head into the room.

“Udah wants to sleep. What are you doing here?” Sahut Shien's. The girl is still sniffling.

“I'm in, huh?” The sky paid no heed to Shien's expression of rejection.

The man casually walked up to Shien, then threw his body onto the mattress on his stomach, and buried his face on Shien's blanket-covered thigh.

“You anything?” Shien who was slightly surprised excitedly moved the head of Heaven from his thigh. But the man instead wrapped his hands along Shien's slender waist, making it even harder for the girl to keep Sky's body away from him.

“I slept here, huh?” Pinta Langit doesn't make sense.

“Yes, if so I slept in your room. Watch. . .” Shien moved his legs, hoping for the Sky to step aside. But he did not move from his position at all.

“I mean sleeping together, Shi.” The sky turned his sleeping position into a slant with his head facing Shien's stomach.

“Do not ngaco you.” Shien grumbled to himself.

“Sleeping, I promise you nothing. I just want to sleep hugging you. That was aja.” Sahut Langit reassured while pointing two fingers to form a V sign.

Shien rolled his eyes puffed. He cursed himself who forgot to lock the door. If this handsome little devil like Heaven had entered, it was obvious that he would have trouble exorcising him.

“No skinship.” In the end, Shien could only negotiate.

“Cuma hug.” Sky Spoken.

“No hugging. This is the last offer.” Shien's reply didn't want to be denied. The sky could only snort with a frowning face.

After which, Shien asked Sky to step aside. Take a roll and put it right in the middle of the bed to create a boundary of territory between himself and the Sky. Shien told Sky that they should not cross that line during their sleep.

“If you are not aware how?” Ask Sky.

“Can't be unconscious, can't be khilaf.” Sahut Shien fast. The sky again heard him.

“If you yourself cross the boundaries how?” Ask the Sky again.

“I'll sleep on them, kok.” Shien replied with confidence. The silent sky did not want to discuss it anymore or protest. In his heart he laughed cunningly. After all, he could feign khilaf and hug Shien later when the girl was already asleep.

It did not take long, they then laid his body on the limit of each one that Shien had made. Shien left the lights on, although he was not used to sleeping in a bright atmosphere. It's just that, in order to avoid anything unwanted, Shien would rather sleep in bright conditions.

“Shi. . .” Call the Sky, make Shien re-open his eyes, then turn his head and change his sleeping position facing towards the Sky with a questioning gaze.

“Can you hold your hand?” Pinta Langit full of hope.

Shien shook his head in response, making Sky instantly put on a pouting face.

“Shi. . .” Call the Sky again. Shien simply raised his eyebrows next to his.

“You came all the way here intentionally to avoid me, right?” Ask Sky then.

Shien grunting. “Geer is so you.”

Shien then said that he came here to visit his dead brother because he missed him. That'sallthatis. Shien did not give details of her brother's death. Shien could not bear it or he would cry and find it hard to sleep. Perhaps one day Shien will tell Sky everything.

Feeling not sleepy enough, the two then shared what they did for the past four days. More precisely as long as they did not meet. The sky complained that he was very sad and did not eat well because he missed Shien too much. Shien was just stingy hearing that. The girl then told him about the good news Nathan had brought for her. The sky that heard him clearly smiled happily and was very grateful for that.

Long enough they told stories of horror, until finally both of them fell asleep, drowning in each other's dreams.

They really only slept together that night, doing nothing.

********

The next morning, Shien, who was distracted by the ringing of chat message notifications on his phone, woke up. He felt a pair of burly hands coiling around his stomach. Of course it belongs to the sky.

Apparently, they sleep in the back hug position. The roll that restricted them was already lying far away on the floor.

Shien snorted as he threw the hand of Heaven from his stomach. He felt that the sky had broken the deal. It was obvious because of the Sky body that entered into his territory.

Do not want to protest or take the sky first. Shien chose to reach for his phone which he had lying on the nightstand to see who had sent him this early in the morning, considering that time still showed at eight in the morning.

After opening the screen of the phone using his fingerprint, Shien then read the name of the sender of the message. Dr. Nathan.

********

To be continued. . . . .