So In Love
EP. 92. Goodbye

This week will be a slow update.

Enjoyable. 😉

********

Three weeks ago. . . . .

There are many events that make Mama and Papa's heart hurt to make them feel unable to continue living.

The first, when it comes to the fact that her youngest daughter, Shien, is declared to have congenital heart disease. It is really not hearty to see the newborn baby has to depend on his life on drugs and surgical procedures until he grows up, even almost his entire life.

Second, when God took the life of their first son, Shawn, at a very young age.

The third, when Shien had an accident and was declared in a coma.

And the fourth was that afternoon. While they were joking with Shien. Who would have thought if the youngest girl would experience sudden cardiac arrest and re-declared coma. Doctors said his heart condition was already very weak and his life expectancy was very low. It is likely that Shien will not survive more than a month with such a heart condition. The last way to save him was only a heart transplant because the administration of drugs and other treatment methods were not effective to overcome the problem of congenital heart disease Shien.

As if not enough with that, moments after Shien was rushed into the ICU room, they got such shocking news. It was so shocking that it made their hearts seem as if they had been hit by a poisonous bullet for the second time in a row.

Shanna has a back-to-back accident on her way to the airport to go to Pare.

Somehow exactly the accident to make Shanna suffered severe injuries in the head with the condition of fractured bones terngkorak on seven parts.

One more daughter had to sleep in the ICU room with all kinds of life support tools. Mama and Papa knew that God would not test his servants beyond their means. But does the test have to be like this? God had already taken their one child, and now why did God put Shanna and Shien on the brink of death?

If they can bargain, why doesn't God make them poor? Children are more valuable than the money they have.

Or, do they not deserve to be parents so that God wants to take one by one the children He has entrusted?

You could say, it was the heaviest point in Mama and Papa's life. Wishing it was a nightmare and they woke up soon.

More than a week later, Shanna was sentenced to brain death, a condition in which all brain activity is permanently stopped. People who experience this condition will not be able to regain consciousness or breathe on their own because the brain has stopped functioning. People who experience brain death can no longer regulate the function of various organ systems. In other words, people who experience brain death can be declared dead.

“The use of drugs or breathing apparatus is actually no longer effective because the condition can not be helped.” Pungkas Biru ended his explanation to Mama, Papa, and Nathan who were sitting in front of him.

Mom's body immediately squeezed right then and there. So did Papa and Nathan who did not want to believe the Professor's explanation before him.

“And I have to discuss with the patient's family to remove the ventilator from Shanna.” body Blue is adding. This was quite a surprise for him as well. Blue had just returned to work after her return from Korea, her assistant handed over the patient data she had to handle, and it was unexpected that it was Shanna.

Hearing that, Mama and Papa did not feel like breathing anymore. It won't. How could they allow Shanna to just leave? They will not think to release the equipment that supports Shanna's life. It won't.

Shien could have just woken up by then. Why isn't Shanna?

“It's just a diagnosis. There are cases of people who experienced brain, but can come back to life.” The same Nathan's rebuttal was not accepted. The man looked very chaotic and unsettled.

“We can indeed let Shanna stay here with all the life support equipment. But as time goes on, the function of its organs will decrease, and in the end we still have to be ready for the worst possible.” Sahut Blue. He was sure Nathan could understand, considering that the man was also a Doctor like himself.

“In addition, there is something you should know. . .” Blue sighed for a moment to then thrust out a map containing Shanna's medical records. “We looked back at Shanna's medical records and found that she was a brain-dead organ donor. She signed up since she was seventeen.”

Blue's voice rang in Nathan's ears along with his moving eyeballs reading each line of writing on a piece of paper inside the map.

“But Shanna can't be a donor without family approval.” And one more, Blue shifted the map in which contains a written statement letter or informed concentrate for medical actions to be done on Shanna.

Mama clasped her mouth while shaking her head in Papa's arms, her tears streaming down her face. Why is his fate so bad? Her youngest daughter is not yet healthy and is still in a coma. So why did God also make his eldest daughter like that? Worse, even his life and death were only determined by equipment. And one second after this all the equipment was unplugged, then Shanna completely abandoned it.

“Shanna will undergo a brain death termination test and meeting immediately after you sign this.” Blue again.

Papa looked at the two statements in the map alternately. Whether it's just removing the tools or agreeing to the donor, both are very tough decisions and Papa doesn't want to do it. Papa doesn't want to see Shanna suffer like this.

But more suffering if Papa still keeps the girl by his side alive, but also arguably not alive. After all, it was not the right decision to keep trying to make Shanna regain consciousness because it would only damage her organs.

********

That night, the sky approached Nathan who was sitting pensively on the long chair on the roof of the hospital building.

The sky looked at Nathan for a moment who looked hollow.

Nathan wasn't crying. She's been crying enough. Her tears are almost gone. He could only accept the fact that Shanna would be gone for good from her life soon. Go to a place Nathan can't follow.

Still etched vividly in his memory the last time he met Shanna. Precisely, before the accident took Shanna's consciousness. The girl smiled brightly all the time she spent with him.

Smiling smirk. He and Shanna are just about to start their story, but Nathan doesn't expect that his story with Shanna will end so soon.

If he knew Shanna would leave so soon, Nathan would never have gone with his parents to Holland by then. Then the time he would spend with Shanna would not be this short.

“The patient's visit is over. We recommend that you go down quickly to say good-bye to Shanna.” Said the Sky while looking at Nathan concerned.

Nathan stared back at the sad Sky, then nodded weakly. But he didn't move.

“Shanna good guy. I hope, you don't hate him anymore.” Nathan said softly, remembering what Shanna might have done to Heaven.

“Gue knows, and I never hated him. He is still the friend I love.” Sky Reply. Shanna did do something unpleasant to him, but Heaven did not hate her man, but his behavior.

No one spoke between them for a few minutes. Heaven and Nathan were busy with their own thoughts.

“Lo sure want to do Shien transplant surgery?” Ask Sky to make sure.

“Shien my patient.” Nathan said without looking up at the sky. His gaze was blankly staring at the couple's ring on his ring finger that he had bought in the city park the last time he was out for a walk with Shanna. It was indeed just a toy ring that even cost under fifteen thousand, but it was full of memories and meant a lot to Nathan.

“But. . .” The sky did not continue his words. He could not bear to say if the heart that Nathan would graft was Shanna's. But Heaven was sure Nathan would understand even if he didn't say it.

Yep. After Shanna conducts an examination to make sure all organs to be donated are in good condition and matches with donor recipients including Shien, Shanna's heart matches that of her sister, so Shien became one of the recipients of organ donors from several organs that Shanna would donate.

“This is always Shanna's wishes every birthday. He had always hoped that there would be a great doctor who could heal Shien. And I want to be that doctor to fulfill her lifelong desire. I myself will mastiin heart transplant was successful and Shien recovered from his illness.” Nathan let out a breath that felt heavy and stifling. “Gue itself will surely Shanna's good intentions are not in vain.” He smiled faintly, but soon returned moody.

But Nathan isn't the one who has the right to decide, however much he wants to hold Shanna back. And one more thing, Nathan is just an ordinary man who cannot match or coerce God the owner of life.

********

“Mama love you.” Mama said as she gently rubbed Shanna's already helpless head, her tears unraveled, she said, but this time the woman was stronger after previously having fainted many times after three days ago the statement was signed.

And today is the time. Shanna's going to have organ removal surgery at midnight. Doctors allowed the patient's family to make a final visit before Shanna entered the operating room. Of course this is very heavy for Mama and Papa.

“But God loves you more.” Mama's voice was heavy along with tears that came down competing and flowing on her cheeks. “Good way, baby. Later, we will meet again in His heaven.” Then he took a kiss on Shanna's forehead, long enough. “Mama is grateful that you were born as a daughter of Mama.”

There was not much Mama could say, all she could do was to take off Shanna sincerely. Mama has resigned. God has the right to give and take things from His servants. Although very heavy, sincerity is still the best way to deal with loss.

Mama must be strong, must remain strong, because there is still Shien who still needs his support.

“In the next life, Papa hope to be your Papa again in a longer time.” This time it was Papa's turn. She whispered softly in Shanna's ear, her tears beginning to pool. “You're Papa's proud daughter. Goodbye, dear. God loves you very much. Wait for Papa in his paradise.”

As with Mama, Papa gave a farewell kiss on the forehead of his eldest daughter, very long and his tears could not be weathered anymore.

“I’ll always love you, Supergirl.” The last one was Nathan. As much as she could, she strengthened her heart and herself so as not to cry. “Let's meet again in the next life as a couple who love each other.”

“Good bye, my love.” Nathan's whispers again before then proceeding with heavy steps towards the operating room in preparation for Shien's transplant surgery.

In front of the operating room, he crossed paths with an orange who also seemed to be preparing to lead the surgery to remove Shanna's organs.

Nathan himself asked the beautiful Doctor to participate, because he knew, Jingga was very careful and took very good care of the patient.

“Please between Shanna's departure well.” Nathan bowed half his body.

The orange simply replied with a thin smile and a small nod, then moved to open the door. But the next second he turned back his heels and turned to look at Nathan.

“How is Shien doing?” As if he wanted to make sure of something.

“You know yourself. . .”

“I mean, is he not in an emergency? Can the heart surrender be delayed by about ten to fifteen minutes?” Orange interrupted Nathan's words.

“No problem. But why?” Nathan asked back with slightly raised eyebrows in wonder.

“Because today is still the new year. Everyone should be happy, and we should not give bad experiences about the new year to Shien.” Answer Orange. Not only for Shien, Orange would definitely notice this in the other patients. “And you.” He looked at Nathan.

Nathan smiled faintly, then with Orange he entered the main door of the operating room, followed by Shanna and Shien who were taken out of the ICU room.

********

It was the quietest night and colder than usual. Mom and Dad were waiting in the waiting room. All the memories from Shanna's start are still in the womb, born into the world, Shanna's growth from one stage to another until the girl grows up, until the last time Shanna said goodbye to go to Pare rotating in the head of Mama and Papa like a documentary film.

Until Blue who from the beginning served to convey information came to them.

The smiling man looked at Mama and Papa alternately. They stared back at Blue with tired and sad eyes as if they knew what Blue was going to say.

“Shanna decided to donate organs to help others, and the condition of the organs is very good, so that it can donate the heart, lungs, kidneys, liver, pancreas, and intestines.” Blue as calm as possible. “Operation has just started on January two at twelve past five nights.” There was a heavy breath for a moment. “Yang means, Shanna is dead.”

There are no words that Mom and Dad can say. They were only silent with tightness in the chest, followed by their bated cries.

“And I represent the donor recipient patient thank you.” Blue slightly bent his body. “Thank you because Shanna has given six people a chance so they can live their lives for the better.”

Mama could only cry badly hearing that. Even with Papa who can not hold back his crying anymore. Today was supposed to celebrate the new year together, and also share the happiness of having Shien already gained a new heart.

********

One week after Shanna's departure. Mama and Papa agree to hide what happened from Shien. They asked anyone around Shien not to discuss Shanna let alone tell her the truth. Shien's condition is still very weak, Mama and Papa don't want anything to happen to him. Especially if it affects the results of the transplant.

Nathan chose to calm down for a few days after Shien's transplant surgery. While Mama and Papa had to act as if nothing happened in front of Shien. The two can only cry secretly when the youngest daughter asks where Shanna is because she never showed up.

But still, no matter how good we hide something, it will gradually be discovered anyway.

Just like Papa and Nathan were talking about when they should have told Shien about what happened to Shanna.

“Until when do we want to hide this from Shien, Om?” Nathan asked, who couldn't bear to pretend.

“Om don't know. Om is afraid something will happen to Shien if he knows the truth.” Papa Sahut. There was a tone of worry, fear, confusion, and sadness there.

“You yourself also said that Shien should not be shaken.”

“Iya. But we can tell him slowly and carefully, Om.” Nathan's reply. He could not imagine how shocked Shien would be when he found out one day if they kept putting it off for longer. “Shien keeps asking for Shanna's whereabouts and we can't continue to hide the fact that Shanna donated her heart to. .. .”

Nathan did not continue. His voice choked once he reached the last sentence, so his tone just hung.

“Wait a minute. Shien's Om's only daughter now. God has taken Shawn and Shanna, and Om doesn't want anything to happen to Shien after he finds out the truth.” Said Papa worried.

“Ayo tells Shien that Shanna died in an accident. Shien doesn't need to know that Shanna donated a heart to him, but at least Shien should know that his brother doesn't exist.” Nathan's Advice.

Papa's speechless. It's true what Nathan said. But still, knowing Shanna's departure would be a heavy blow to Shien. Papa wasn't ready to see the girl grieving.

“Tap–”

“What are you guys talking about?”

Papa and Nathan gasped in shock at the sight of Shien already standing in the doorway with a pale face. It was as pale as if blood had stopped flowing in his body.

********

To be continued. . . .