So In Love
EP. 81. Not Sleeping Beauty

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“Shien, let's go to the zoo.” Shawn shouted as he extended his hand to Shien who was sitting on the swing.

“Bener, Brother? Can I come?” Sahut Shien was in disbelief with his eyes sparkling with excitement. Shawn nodded, making Shien exclaim with delight, but it did not last long.

“But, Mama and Papa didn't get me out of the house.” He said while looking sad. Shien was aware, until whenever he would never be able to see the zoo, one of the places he dreamed of in his life.

“We go both. . .” Shawn said, making Shien's forehead wince incomprehensibly. “Mama same Papa won't know. You want to, right, come with brother for a minute?” His side moved his hand, giving instructions that the girl immediately grabbed his hand.

“Ke zoo?” Shien asked as he tilted his head, his clear eyes that were shaped like almond seeds were twitching innocently, his horse-pointed long hair moving along with the movement of his head.

“Yes.” Shawn nodded steadily.

“Mama same Papa will not be angry?” Shien asked, hesitating to agree.

“Got going!” Again, Shawn answered confidently. “Ayo.” Excited once more, then helped little Shien down from the swing.

“Wait!” Sambar Papa suddenly appeared. “Shien can't go anywhere. Wait to heal first, you can go to the zoo.” Papa said firmly.

Shien looked down, staring at Shawn's hand grimly.

“I'll just take him for a minute, kok, Pa. Shien, right, never went there.” Shawn paid no heed, then turned to Shien with a soothing smile, as if to tell him not to worry about anything.

“Stay cannot!” Papa's voice was quick, but again Shawn didn't care. The twelve-year-old boy only smiled briefly at Papa, then moved away with Shien in his arms.

Mama woke up with cold sweat drenching her forehead and temples. He had been asleep for an hour, but was awake.

During the two months since Shien was declared into a coma, Mama has been having trouble sleeping, even fearing to sleep. When you fall asleep, your dreams are always the same. Always about the accident that Shien had, about Shien saying goodbye to leaving, sometimes he also saw Shawn who wanted to take Shien away like before, even worse, Mama instead saw Nathan remove all medical devices that encased Shien's body as a support for his life, then Nathan covered all of Shien's body with a white cloth.

Therefore, Mama has rarely fallen asleep lately. Mama was very afraid if when she woke up, it turned out that what she saw was not a dream.

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During Shien's two months in the hospital, the devoted Mama accompanies him, although not twenty-four hours non-stop as Shien is in the ICU room with limited visits, and, he opened a room for her to stay in.

During that time, Shien instead improved. His condition was even very critical, until now Shien was still in the ICU room, unable to be moved to the recovery room because his condition showed absolutely no progress let alone showed signs of consciousness.

One time he had a heart valve leak so Shien had to go back into the operating room, and repeatedly suffered respiratory failure and cardiac arrest. It sometimes makes Mama hysterical, sometimes also resigned. He can't bear. Why did Shien have to be so tormented even when the girl was in such a state of sleep?

If God really wants to take it, Mama is sincere. Because that way, then Shien would not be in pain anymore. But, if God only wanted to hold Shien off for a while, Mama begged Him to let Shien fall asleep. Mama could not afford to continue to see her son's body touched by a scalpel and was in a cold room alone.

Right now, you can only leave everything to God. Everything that happens in human life has been outlined before, long before humans were born into this world.

“Langit?” Mama muttered inwardly accompanied by a frowning forehead as she exited the ICU room. His eyes squinted, making sure that his vision was not wrong. He saw Sky standing behind the glass door of the room, but hurriedly left when he saw it about to come out shortly after he read the storybook to Shien that afternoon. That's what my mom does every day. If you don't talk, then Mama will read a storybook. Something Shien hadn't gotten since childhood.

“Langit.” Call Mama after making sure the owner of the back that is now getting away it is true belongs to the Sky. My mother took the initiative to pursue him.

Indeed, after the accident and Shien is declared in a coma, Sky continues to blame himself for what happened to Shien. Even before the Sky gathered before Shien's parents and said thousands of apologies, then completely withdrew after that. In fact, Mama or Papa did not blame him, nor did he blame anyone because what happened to Shien was clearly an accident. Only, maybe the time is very coincident with the problems that occur to them.

And if there's someone they might want to blame is the hitman for driving under the influence of drugs.

The sky was too embarrassed to meet Shien or his parents. Every day, Sky had to hold back desperately his desire to get into the ICU room to see Shien. And in the end, he could only look at the girl from a distance.

The sky really felt really bad. Even to breathe in the same air as Shien, he felt it was not good enough.

Heaven had never felt this kind of regret in his entire life. A regret that wanted to make him go back in time, to trust Shien completely without ever doubting him.

“Langit.” Someone's call made the sky that was standing pensively by folding his hands on the concrete barrier on the roof of the hospital building jerked.

Aunt Risa. The woman smilingly looked at the sky so deeply. While the sky itself just looked back at him sad. Can Aunt Risa see the sadness on the face of Heaven, as well as her puffy eyes and dry tears on her cheeks.

“Shien is still with us. The doctor said, he is very strong even though repeatedly almost. . .” Aunt Risa was unable to continue, her throat suddenly choked. He took a deep breath to hold back his tears from coming out. “You don't have to worry.” He added while rubbing the shoulders of the Sky calmed down. Though, worries at all times haunt themselves.

To just talk to calm others is sometimes much easier.

The sky was silent. The corner of his watery eyes was sticking down. Don't want Aunt Risa to see that.

“Tante apologized for Auntie's remark at the Cafe back then. Auntie won't ask you to let Shien go again. But, Auntie asks you not to blame yourself again.” Aunt Risa understood why Sky had pulled away and had not seen Shien for two months, and she also knew that Sky had always been watching her youngest daughter from a distance.

“So, now you meet Shien there.” Connect Aunt Risa while continuing to gently stroke Sky's shoulders. “Hem?”

“Then, who deserves what kind of person?” Sambar Aunt Risa. The silent sky could not answer. I don't know, he just feels really bad.

“I've been bad with Shien. I was wrong.” Sahut Langit then with a hoarse voice.

“Nobody’s perfect. Anyone has ever made a mistake, but that doesn't mean they're a bad person.” Said Aunt Risa. “So if you do feel guilty, just fix the mistake, do not run away and get hung up in that guilty feeling.”

The sky was silent again. Aunty Risa is right. But still he felt very bad, worse than the worst. He did not dare to meet Shien, and perhaps Shien did not want to meet him.

“Shien may miss you. Go meet him, mumpung clock visit is still there.” Bujuk Aunt Risa.

The sky is back. “Shien definitely won't see me.” He said while smiling.

“You don't want to see him.” Cibir Aunt Risa.

“Or don't you want to meet Shien because he can't do anything?” Connect Aunt Risa with a sad look.

“I never thought like that.” The sky fast.

Aunt Risa smiled faintly. “Then go meet him.” He said as he patted the shoulder of the sky and then moved from there. Leaving the Sky that looked at his departure with a pondering expression, thinking.

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That night, out of his consciousness, Sky who had only wanted to see Shien from the glass gap of the ICU room, now his feet moved inward shortly after the hermetic door of the room opened.

After getting permission from the guard doctor and sterilizing himself, Sky then approached Shien with a feeling of overwhelming nervousness. However, that feeling of guilt still dominated his heart until it took a great deal of courage for Sky to meet Shien like this.

Sit next to the patient's bed. The sky felt its throat choked. Shien lay weakly there, sleeping like Sleeping Beauty.

The sky held its breath as soon as it looked at Shien's beautiful face, but it was as pale as snow.

“Hai, Shi. Sorry just came here.” Her sweep was soft, her tears had been dammed again in the eye pelupuk. He was about to touch Shien's fragile hand which clamped an oximeter on one of his fingers, but immediately retracted it. Once again, Sky resisted his urge to touch Shien.

“It's been two months, you know. Don't you want to wake up?” He asked with a trembling voice, followed by his rapidly dripping tears.

“Most sleep is not good, Shi.” The tears of heaven did not stop flowing. “You are not beautiful anymore when you sleep like gini.” The sky smiled grievously, as much as he spoke, the girl remained unmoved. Only the beep sound from the monitor that displays the performance graphics of Shien's body organs is telling it.

“Let's wake up, don't punish me like gini.” The sky sounded desperate, just like it was sixteen years ago, when she screamed for her mother to wake up, but she did not hear it. But this time, the sky still had hope, even if it was only a small hope. “I beg.”

“You said that I was a jerk and the stupidest person, right, Shi?” Ask Sky. The man continued to cry without pause. “You really, Shi. I'm a jerk, I'm so stupid that I'm wrong with you, and I'm also rough with you.” Flashes of how he hurt Shien from a misunderstanding swirled back in his head, and the pain he inflicted on Shien was as if God had returned to him. The Heart of Heaven was much more sick when it remembered that.

“And you must hate me so much that you don't want to open your eyes to see me again, yes, right?” The sky was silent for a moment to calm itself which began to sob. “But from you alone. You better wake up and get angry with me as much as you want, hit me, and maki-maki me all you want.”

“Atau. . .” The voice of Heaven was choked by the tightness that was squeezing his chest even more. “You used to say that I don't see you again. You remember, right?” The sky sobbed violently until he had to hold his mouth shut to hold back his sobbing. “I'll do that, Shi. But you have to get up first so you can see that I really don't find you anymore.”

Really, Sky would do anything for Shien to wake up. Even if anyone told him to die for Shien's sake, Heaven was willing to do so.

“But if you're still sleeping like this. Don't expect me to do it, Shi. I . . .” The sound of the sky is getting louder. “I will come here every day, disturb you sleep until disturbed.” Threatened him. But the fragile body on the bed of the patient did not respond at all.

“Shienna you are not a hearing impaired person. You're beating me, aren't you? I'm talkin' to you. Let's wake. You must repay all my deeds to you.” Angry with a desperate tone. Really, it was eager for Heaven to shake Shien's body, hoping that the girl would wake up soon if she did.

Nothing Sky said after that. The sky was silent beside Shien's bed. The man lowered his head, letting his tears flow through his chin until it fell to the floor he was treading on.

The sky stopped crying when he saw Shien's index finger move, just one second and not much. He reflexively stood up, then tried to interact back with Shien. “Do you hear me? Move your finger, one more. ..”

The heart of the sky was beating violently, like there was a glimmer of hope. He hoped Shien would respond. But, Shien returned unmoved.

Sky's shoulders fell limp, then sat back down with a sad face. Because of being too excited and high expectations, he forgot if the patient in a coma can also move a little of his limbs as a reflex response. But even so, Sky immediately called the experts namely Doctor Spesalis Neurosurgery to ensure. He told her what he saw earlier, and the result was the same as expected. It did not signify Shien would soon be sober. The doctor also added that it had happened repeatedly, but there was no response afterwards.

It was quite disappointing indeed because what the Doctor said was not up to his expectations.

Exhaling heavily, Sky again looked at Shien's face with a dejected look after the Doctor who had examined Shien's condition passed.

“It's okay if you don't want to wake up now.” Speak the feeble Sky. “But after this, you have to wake up. Whether it's one second after this, tomorrow, or tomorrow again.” The sky whispered softly right in Shien's ear. “But not for long, I beg you. Because you're not Sleeping Beauty, Shien.” More precisely, Sky could not bear to see Shien continue to lie weakly helpless, and did not know when the girl would wake up.

Wiping away the tears on her cheeks for a while, Heaven stood up, bent her body and landed a kiss on Shien's forehead. “Goodnight, Shien.” Then put his lips back to Shien's ears to whisper something. “I just wanna say that I’m in love with you. And all you have to know that I’m so in love with you, Shienna.” And one more kiss he landed on Shien's temple, his lips seemed to tremble, Heaven trying to hold back his cry so as not to break again.

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To be continued. . . .