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The sound of chat notifications could be heard from Shien's phone lying on the dining table nearby, distracting everyone who was enjoying breakfast that morning.
Shien, who was also focusing on his breakfast, hurriedly grabbed the flat object.
“Sorry.” Said Shien who was a little unwell because the sound of his cell phone ringing disrupted the solemnity of their breakfast activities. But, they just smiled no objection and continued eating activities that had stopped for a moment.
When he saw the Sky name on the screen, Shien's thumb automatically touched the screen to unlock the safety. As soon as Shien's phone safety lock opened, his fingers quickly opened the chat application that had the green logo and read the contents of the message from the Sky.
In his mind, Shien wondered why Heaven had just contacted him, wasn't he going to leave for Spain this morning? Sky should have departed, considering the man said that his flight was at seven in the morning.
Shien thought Sky might send a message to say goodbye if he was about to depart. But apparently not, the sky turned out to send a photo that after being opened instead made Shien's face red.
Shien's heart was pounding again as soon as he saw the photo. The photo of him with Sky that was taken a few hours ago just before Sky was truly saying goodbye to leave. Photos of her being embraced by the sky with a friendly.
The man managed to force Shien to take a photo together while they were still in the complex park. Inevitably, Shien complied as Sky threatened not to let go of his embrace if Shien did not want to take a picture.
Recalling that, instantly the memories as they kissed so excitedly as if unwilling to let go of each other swirled around in Shien's head.
Shien became wrong with his own behavior because he was surprised by himself who always could not control himself when dealing with the man named Sky. Ahh, Shien is ashamed of himself. He protested because Heaven kissed him, when reality enjoyed him a lot.
It seemed like Shien had already been completely struck by magic by the Sky. Even just by looking at the man standing not far away from him, Shien's brain could have paralysed instantly.
It was crazy, the figure of Heaven continued to grow in his mind day by day. Shien could no longer think realistically with regards to the Heavens.
“You're okay, right, Shi?” Mama asked with a worried look as she watched her son continue to flinch at the screen of his phone. “Your face is red, you know. It doesn't hurt, does it?”
Shien flinched as he felt Mama's hand touch his forehead and cheeks. The girl cursed herself in her heart, she could think of the sky this much when it was still morning.
“Ohh, I'm fine aja.” Sahut Shien while removing Mama's hand from her face.
“It's OK, son?” Timpal Papa made sure, he was as worried as Mama.
“Emm.” Shien nodded, then put his phone back down, and continued his breakfast in a bit of a hurry to make everyone look back at him in surprise.
“Hurry highly. Where are you going, Shi? Holidays also.” Shanna commented before biting her fried sausage.
“There was a promise with Fina. I'm not ready.” Shien replied as he cleaned his mouth with a tissue. Almost forgot, today Shien had to see his new apartment with Fina. Had it been too late, Fina would have nagged him, and Shien was too lazy to hear Fina's eleven-twelve nagging with the mothers.
“Where are you going? Take me, doong.” Shanna said with a hopeful look. Given her who does not have any plans on her day off, Shanna felt that this day would be very boring if she just stayed home and alone.
“Cute aja.” Shien replied casually, making both of Shanna's eyes sparkle with delight, then immediately finished his breakfast in order to get ready.
“Where are you going, Shi?” Ask Mama curious. Shien sighed for a moment before then briefly answering. “Cause to see apartment.”
Papa, Mama, and Shanna then turned back to him with a questionable look. “Apartment? Are you looking for an apartment?” And Papa represents everyone to ask.
“Udah buy.” Shien replied, the girl still can't be friendly to her parents. Shien always answered as necessary if asked and in a cold tone.
“Lho, make what? You don't plan on leaving here to stay alone, do you?” Ask Papa in a row. His expression full of worry, fear, and rejection became one. Clearly, he did not want to live apart anymore with Shien.
“Papa disagree.” He greeted her with resolute eyes, as well as her voice.
“I want to live anywhere and with anyone, it has nothing to do with you guys.” Sahut Shien as he looked at Papa expressionlessly, while his hand held tightly to both sides of the home dress he was wearing. Shien tried hard to temper his suddenly rising emotions every time he heard Papa and Mama talking as if to care about him. It might be true that they cared, but hearing it now actually opened up an old wound for Shien.
Papa and Mama are the only worlds for Shien, but they turn instead. It wasn't that easy to trust them anymore, even though Shien was eager, even when they were already facing him again.
Either it was because Shien was too vindictive or his heart had already frozen from being let down. Perhaps also, because Shien was already at the limit where he hated both his parents for their mistakes. Clearly, the pain was always sticking to the surface even just by looking at Papa and Mama.
It was not that Shien did not want to forgive them. It was precisely Shien that was anxious, because what he heard if forgiving was a good move to recuperate from the ensnaring pain and anger.
Shien is also aware and knows very well that someone sometimes makes mistakes because they do not realize that it is wrong. After all, humans are creatures that do not escape error. No man lives without fault, including himself. But, it felt too hard, Shien was too scared, afraid to open his heart and himself.
Until finally, Shien again covered the pain with his growing anger. And actually it was worse because Shien had subconsciously injured himself and his parents.
“Shien, we are still your parents and you are an unmarried girl.” Papa Exclamations. Although it was not thunderous, but the middle-aged man could not hide his furious tone. He had not expected that Shien would dare to speak like that.
It might have been easier if Shien had been blatantly angry with her, or had cursed her as an evil father. But in fact, it was more painful when the biological child himself behaved like he was unaware of his existence, even though now Shien had already returned to his side.
Papa knows, he has been so guilty of Shien that he infuses emotional wounds in the heart of his daughter. Papa also knows, it's too late, but he really wants to correct all his mistakes.
“So, of course you still have to be under our supervision. You are still the responsibility of Papa and Mama.” Connect Papa with much lower intonation. Similarly, with his vision turned shady. He realized that he had to have a lot of patience in dealing with Shien. In addition to keeping his feelings in check because Shien's doctor said he shouldn't be depressed, Papa also doesn't want to add any bad points in the little girl's eyes.
“Supervision? Responsibility?” Shien was cold, his eyes staring at Papa and Mama who were sitting opposite him in turn. “Did I not hear wrong?” Smiling wryly, the girl then moved with a chest that felt heavy.
“Shien, back now.” Shouted Papa a little fierce. Mom just kept quiet and looked sad.
Shien paid no attention to Papa's scream. With a slight shock, he walked quickly to get into his room, then looked for the medicine in the drawer, then drank it without a boost of water. It was very bitter, and he hoped that the pain in his heart would be swallowed along with it.
“Papa and Mama act as if nothing ever happened.” Shanna who had been silent just now spoke up.
“Begging Shien to accept and forgive you, but Papa and Mama have you ever apologized to him? Papa equals Mama selfish.” Shanna went to leave the dining table, leaving Papa and Mama who could only sit idly by, as if struck by Shanna's words.
True to what Shanna said, Papa and Mama were not heartened enough to admit her mistake to Shien. But, it was because they were ashamed of themselves, especially at Shien. They're not wise, are they? Me and Mama knew it.
Papa and Mama thought, just by bringing Shien back to their side and living as if nothing had happened, Shien would get used to it and forget everything, then things would return to normal.
********
“Although you haven't apologized to them yet, but you shouldn't be acting outrageous, Shi.” Tegur Shanna after a while they were just being quiet.
They are currently on their way to Shien's apartment with Shanna driving because Reno is off for Saturday and Sunday. That's the risk of hiring college kids. But if asked to come, Reno would definitely not mind. However, Shien is quite heartened not to interfere with Reno's college activities.
Shien fluttered, his gaze staring blankly at the road packed with vehicles and getting hotter by day. It was true that he had gone too far and that made him even more depressed now. Ahh, Shien did not know how to fuse all the feelings of disappointment and anger in his heart.
Shanna let out a long sigh seeing the little sister just speechless not to tell her.
“Here, Deh, Shi.” Shanna snapped her index finger, instructing Shien to get closer to her.
“Ngapain?” Shien asked as he frowned deeply. But he kept his brother's orders.
“Aww. . .” Shien screeched as Shanna flicked her forehead hard. Previously he had thought that his brother would whisper something, eating him Shien brought his face closer. Shanna gave Shien a flick that made his forehead feel hot, and it might now turn blue.
“That's a punishment because you've gone too far with Papa and Mama.” Shanna. He felt that Shien should be reminded not to drag on and hold disappointment and anger in his parents, because it would only make him unhappy.
“Im sorry they. At least do it for your own sake, Shien.” Shanna glanced at Shien who was still reluctant to tell her. The girl was busy rubbing her hot forehead.
“Hate them and angry prolonged. Does that make you relieved?” Shien was speechless hearing Shanna's question. Yes, Shanna's right, it doesn't make her relieved at all. It was just torturing itself.
“Then you forget one thing, Shi.” Shien turned his head for a while while frowning his brows cluelessly.
“You are the same as them. Remember this, the man can at any time commit wrongs and sins. Maybe you only see them when you make a mistake. But, did you forget that they also had time to do good to you? Even now, they were trying to correct that mistake, Shi.” Shanna Bright.
“Don't until you become an arrogant human being who can't forgive others, Shi. Do not close your heart just because the actual wound can be healed by yourself.” Said later.
“I have been trying. But, it’s very hard.” Shien said in a weak voice. Without turning his head towards Shien, his gaze remained straight staring blankly at the vehicle in front of him.
Shanna shook her head slowly, took a breath, then replied. “No, Shi. You never tried it at all.” Because of what Shanna saw, Shien kept shutting herself down.
“Ya you really are. I'm too scared to try it.” Sambar Shien fast.
As much as Shien tried to expand his heart, Shien could not because his mind was filled with worry if his parents would repeat it.
More precisely, Shien was afraid of being let down again. Perhaps this was why Shien kept shutting himself up and not forgiving. But, it was actually a defense mechanism that had unknowingly already developed over time within Shien to protect himself from being injured again.
“And once that trust is broken, it’s very, very hard to get back.” Imbuh Shien slowly. The girl then turned her gaze to look out the car window followed by a sigh that felt heavy.
“Think positive and stop worrying. That way, you won't be afraid anymore, Shien. I know, it's not easy.” Shanna was silent for a while to get ready to drive her car back when the light turned green.
“If you really want to try it, you have to take the risk to force yourself. No need to rush, do it slowly.” Shanna. As a good brother, he should give a good boost to his sister. Shanna must help Shien get out of his pain.
Shien was silent again. Yes, even Aunt Hilda said the same thing that Shanna said now. Give them a little confidence and learn to forgive little by little. But, doing it is not as easy as saying it. Yes, forgiving someone does require readiness from the heart.
“But, I wouldn’t know where to start.” Shien let out a heavy sigh again, then turned to Shanna who was focusing on driving.
Shanna smiled, sighed for a moment, then turned her head to look both of Shien's eyes at a glance. “What if you start from calling them Papa and Mama?”
“Hem?” Shanna turned her head back towards Shien with a smile. She knew that Shien never called their parents Papa and Mama again after his departure to America.
“I’ll tr. . .”
“Start doing today, don't just say you want to try. But you have to do it, Shien.” Sambar Shanna fast. He was tired of hearing Shien say he was going to try it, but in reality did nothing and kept himself shut.
“Shi. . .” Call Shanna while grabbing the brother's hand to hold it. Automatically it made Shien turn and look at him fixedly.
“I’m sure you can do well.” And it turns out Shanna was encouraging her sister.
“And I want you to know this. Even if the whole world turns away from you, you must be sure, you will find me as the only person still facing you.”
“So, from now on don't ever soak everything alone, Shien. You got me to share everything.” Yes, it used to be possible that Shanna could not do anything to Shien as it was still just as small. But now, Shanna had the ability to protect and stand by the sister no matter what. Including if his parents back hurt Shien.
Shien nodded his head weakly accompanied by his faint smile. And for the first time after sixteen years had passed, Shien again found feeling safe. And it's from Shanna.
********
To be continued. . . .