So In Love
EP. 83. Regrets

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Mama, Shanna, and Papa, who had just returned from work, were immediately greeted with panicked and anxious faces by his wife and eldest child in front of the ICU room.

It was not the right time for him to reprimand Shanna who had only appeared after two months. Papa is not angry. It's just that, as a parent, he was very worried that his son was far from home and did not preach at all.

Papa continued to calm the two down, while the middle-aged man might need another strength for himself. As with Mama and Shanna, Papa is also overcome with overwhelming fear every time he finds out if Shien again has a cardiac arrest.

That is how a father is. They always looked much stronger and stronger, whereas in their own hearts they might be so fragile.

“Nate, How is Shien?” Mama immediately asked impatiently as soon as she found Nathan had just come out of the ICU room after handling Shien inside.

“Shien is still with us.” Nathan replied with a soothing smile, making Mama, Papa, and Shanna breathe a sigh of relief. They were already afraid that God would actually take Shien away from their lives.

“But why has Shien had more heart attacks lately, Nate? Is there any other way to stop it? Surgery or other treatment? Or transfer to the best hospital abroad? She asked again, this time.

Really, he could not bear to see Shien's condition that sometimes suddenly deteriorated like this, let alone that happening quite often.

Nathan took a deep breath for a moment, before then he invited them to speak in his room without answering Mama's question first.

“So, what exactly happened to Shien, Nate?” This time it was Papa who started to open his voice as they arrived at Nathan's room.

Nathan shook his head weakly along with a sigh of heaviness. “The condition is really decreasing. And it wasn't just because of the accident that Shien had, but because of his congenital heart disease. Plus the condition of Shien's heart that is getting weaker, therefore he often has a heart attack to eventually cause an actual heart stop it will be very fatal if a little late handled.” Nathan took another breath, before continuing.

“And corrective surgery can no longer be done to deal with Shien's congenital heart defect. His condition is not possible. The best way is with a transplant operation. Although we cannot guarantee Shien's awareness of his coma condition, but with a transplant, at least Shien's chances of avoiding a critical state and complications are much greater.” Clearly then, a little answer to the question that Mama asked while in front of the ICU room earlier.

Mama and Papa glanced at each other worriedly. Even if Shien did a major surgery that was originally the best way to recover, it still could not guarantee that the girl would wake up from her long slumber.

But what worries Mama and Papa is the unavailability of a suitable donor for Shien. It is not as easy as getting a limited edition or tender item in the company. It's not that easy. Even when Shien was first on the transplant candidate waiting list.

“Then, in the current state of Shien. . .” Nathan kept his sentence for a while. “For transfers to hospitals abroad it is very unlikely and not recommended. But to call the best doctor from there, it can be done. The hospital can arrange everything for Shien.”

“Doctors here are the best.” Sahut Papa, considering the staff and facilities at the hospital where his son was treated was not arbitrary. “So to bring in doctors from abroad, Om think it is not necessary. Om trust you and all the Doctors in this hospital who treat Shien.” Sagely said. “According to Om, it is better for the hospital to get a donor immediately.” Connect Papa then.

Although that did not guarantee Shien's consciousness, it would at least reduce the pain his youngest daughter was experiencing.

“We definitely worked on it.” Nathan said, ending talks about Shien's condition that afternoon.

“But. . .” He said it again when he remembered something. “About the request of Om and Aunt at that time who requested a separate room for Shien, sorry we could not grant it. As Shien is among the medical emergency patients who need special supervision, the ICU room is the best.” Evidently. He added that it would be too risky to remove Shien from the ICU, even though the facilities at the hospital are very adequate.

“Then, Om leave it to how good the medical team is here.” Papa took a big breath. He won't bargain again from now on. Papa only wants the best for Shien, so he can recover as soon as possible.

********

That afternoon, Sky sat alone in the coffee shop that became one of the facilities where he worked. He threw his blank gaze towards the rain outside from behind the big glass window.

A heavy sigh was repeatedly heard coming out from the man's lips. It has been more than thirty minutes the sky fluttered in its position, even the puff of smoke from the espresso in front of him was thinning along with the decreasing temperature of the concentrated black liquid.

It's been over two months, Shien never woke up.

And everything is still the same. The sky could not escape those endless feelings of guilt and regret.

Every day the sky always cursed his stupidity. He was really disappointed. Disappointed at himself who was already doubting and hurting Shien, disappointed that he did not think before acting.

All the memories in which he did mischief revolved in his head without anyone missing every time, it sliced his heart like a relentless torment.

The sky momentarily wonders if he can return to the past even if only one second. He would fix it, so that Shien would not have to lie helplessly with all the life support tools that chained his body on the hospital bed.

The sky smiled bitterly while quietly wiping the corner of his eye that knew it was watering. Had all that not happened, perhaps now Shien was sitting opposite him enjoying a cold afternoon of rain together.

Possibly. . . .

Right now he and Shien were throwing each other taps or teasing each other like they used to. And Sky could only smile back painfully imagining it.

The Sky view then switches on the phone on the table that suddenly lights up and displays the latest news notifications at this time that previously deliberately set the Sky automatically on his phone. But that's not the focus, but rather the phone's main screen display that featured photos of her and Shien while in the complex park a few months ago. Shien gave a lazy expression in the photo. Obviously, because at that time the sky forced him to take a picture together at that time.

By looking at the photo of his being together with Shien, making all the memories of Sky and the girl instantly open. From the beginning to the moment where he saw Shien slowly closing his eyes which ended in a long sleep.

“Stupid. . .” The sky whispered, then laughed bitterly while covering his face with both hands.

He was back to something.

It wasn't easy for him to persuade and make Shien believe until the girl decided to be with him. It was the sky itself that forced Shien to open his heart to her. But by the time Shien had given his whole heart away, in the blink of an eye Heaven itself had shattered him so easily, simply because of a foolish misunderstanding and thought Shien had not reciprocated his feelings and betrayed him.

Ck, how could he even think like that?

All allegations are unfounded. . . .

That's stupidity!!!!

Had it been Sky recalled how it struggled to get Shien. Maybe none of this will. . . .

“Can sit here?” The question of someone made the sky stop its daydream. Nathan saw with an espresso and a snack in each hand, moving to sit in front of the Sky without waiting for his approval.

“The seats are full all.” Nathan relaxed, then began to inhale smoke from the edges of the coffee cup before then sipping it slowly. The bitter taste that felt fitting greeted his taste senses, making Nathan slightly smile with satisfaction.

While the sky just put his shoulders uncaringly and threw his gaze back outwards even though the glass was thickly dewy due to the rain outside which was increasingly heavy in the afternoon before that night.

There was no conversation between the two. Only a little boisterous sound from other visitors and jazz music played in the coffee shop. The sky kept breathing heavily over and over again. While Nathan was busy chewing his pastry lazily, he threw his gaze outside a moment before Nathan wiped the glass using tissue so that the view outside was not blurred. The atmosphere of that afternoon seemed to make them both the coldest humans along with the mind that had somehow blurred to nowhere.

“How many percent chance Shien wakes up?” The sky looked at Nathan with a sad look. Then a heavy breath came back from his lips.

Actually Heaven never thought to ask this out of fear of hearing unexpected answers. But the curiosity that was too great prompted him to ask.

Nathan sighed, he put back the pieces of pastry he had not eaten on the plate. “If you want to use mathematical calculations, the percentage is very small.”

The Sky Chief looked down sad. His gaze fell on his coffee which slightly reflected his face. There was a bitter smile there. The regret deepened in his heart after hearing Nathan's reply.

“But. . .” Nathan continued hanging, making Sky again raise his head to look at Nathan. “Nothing impossible if God work on.” Optimistic said. Nathan always believed in God and involved Him in everything. To whom else should man hold fast but to the all-round God?

“Cause only God can make change our destiny.” Nathan added full of confidence, making the spirit of Heaven that had dropped back again.

Is correct. He has a healing God, he should not stop wishing on Him, and he should not doubt Him. As long as there is a God, nothing is impossible in this world.

“Why? Are you with Shien? Want to leave him? New chick?” Nathan screeched cynically, then again threw his gaze outside.

The sky smiled wryly as it shook its head weakly. “Gue never thought of going there.” He said in the lowest tone along with the tightness that surrounded his chest. The sky recalled his own words as he asked Shien to be the last for him.

“And if there were only one last girl in the world, I would never have seen her if it wasn't Shien.” Add the Sky while slightly letting out an amused smile to hear his own words. It's a little overrated, but it's the truth.

While Nathan who heard that was just throbbing. How laughable. “Lo think I'll believe it?”

The sky just flicked his shoulders casually, whatever. Then began to sip coffee that had not been touched earlier. The temperature of the coffee is cold, so it leaves a fairly concentrated sour taste on the tongue after he drank it.

“Lo made a mistake with Shien before, right?” Nathan asked suddenly. The man looked at the face of the sky full of probing.

“Shien story?” Sky turned to ask in a tone that sounded doubtful, next to his eyebrows raised – in wonder.

“Without him telling me, I can guess if it was lo.” Nathan said cynically, and then crossed over with an arrogant face.

“Because for six months since I met him again. Never once have I seen Shien the clover before he met elo.” He then grunted rudely. Instantly Nathan regrets ever suggesting Shien is honest with his feelings. If he finds out that man is the Goddamn sky. Nathan would never suggest such a thing, even he would ask Shien not to glance at him at all and stop liking him.

I don't know. After he lost respect for the Sky, he became very resentful even to see his face. But so foolishly he sat face to face and chatted with the Sky at this moment.

“In addition, your face is clearly showing that you have done something wrong with Shien. And if my guess is wrong, there's no way for two months you're not looking at him in ICU.” Nathan then accused the face of Heaven using one index finger.

Sipping his coffee for a while, Sky then began to tell him what happened to him and Shien. About him getting a photo of someone, so that it makes him blinded by jealousy and eventually doubt Shien, until it ends up hurting him.

I don't know what made Heaven tell Nathan that which was not at all close to him. Perhaps it was because he could not hold his own guilt feelings for Shien piled up in the heart, which he had not had time to admit to Shien.

One more thing, Sky also does not want to disturb the Orange and Blue in Korea there to share his complaints, so that all this time he harbored everything alone.

“Ck, Bego!” Umbat Nathan was angry, but still kept his tone so as not to disturb other visitors who were there. “So just because of the photos, you think that I am the same Shien and also the Traveler Writer that – ahh, there is no one who is sebego elo that I have ever met. Don't know how you can be a doctor with gob*lok brain like gini.” Nathan shook his head in disbelief. Doesn't Sky really know Shien? “Bener-ener jerk lo be people.”

“Gue know. . .” Sahut Langit weak while smiling wryly. He was not offended by Nathan's rude remarks, which Heaven said were true.

“Keep now lo nyesel?” Nathan smiled obliquely, his tone sounding soft. “And it's too late.” Cibirnya. The sky was silent with a sad face. Again, he again confirmed Nathan's words.

“Lo knows, Sky Doctor, what do I want most when I know you already hurt Shien?” The sky was silent looking at Nathan who was also staring at him coldly.

Then without Sky ever guessing, Nathan raised a fist on his right cheek, making him almost stagger and fall from the chair he was sitting on. So even with all visitors who immediately turn their attention towards them.

“That's for your demeanor that hurt Shien back in Dufan. And this. . .”

One more thing, Nathan gave his fist on Sky's left cheek. This time it was harder to make the lips of Heaven bleed.

“. . . . For all ill-treatment lo the same Shien.” Nathan continued before then sitting himself back in the chair with a little hunting breath. He then raised his hand to stop the waiter who was about to approach their table, possibly intending to stop him.

All the visitors who were mostly Doctors and Nurses of RH Hospital were still gawking, amazed, and astonished to see two famous Doctors throughout the hospital fighting. I don't know what because, but they can't kepo despite being very curious about the cause of the two quarrels. They eventually choose to ignore it and return to their respective activities.

The sky wiped the blood on the corner of his lips, it was sore. Maybe his lips are torn. “Ck, don't know where lo.” is My son, this is a public place. But for some reason, Nathan's punch made him feel a hint of relief in his heart.

“Gue said that Shien was like my own sister. A little girl who does not have good social skills because she is always confined at home, since childhood she does not have many friends, barely have even. And maybe because of that, Shien grew up to be a cold girl who had a hard time giving her trust to others. But once he loved, that person even destroyed his trust so aja.” Tucked the tone of satire from Nathan's sentence. The sky is aware of that.

“Awas aja if after this you still dare to nyakitin Shien. I won't hit you again. But I will get out of all your organs, I continue to donate the same patients who need.” Threaten Nathan before he moves on, shortly after he answers an emergency call coming on his smartwatch.

The sky just smiled faintly hearing that. It wasn't bad to talk to Nathan like this either. Afterwards, he looked at the tall body of the man who slowly disappeared behind the glass door of the coffee shop, was seen running to avoid splashing rain water, then completely disappeared from his sight.

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To be continued. . . . .