Lies
Am I Deserving?

That fact is so sad for Raya. Her heart ached knowing what her ex-husband was going through. He sacrificed so much for others that he forgot how to do something for himself. All for the sake of Raya, also for the family that had adopted her. Karan is willing that his past is not upended. He was willing to experience the suffering alone because he did not want to burden others even though he was very tormented with all of it.

I don't know at all about this. Had he known, he would never have divorced Karan. Maybe Raya will ask the man for time, at least until they introspect each other. Find the error and fix it. Because it is true that the aunt said, they would not be able to coexist in hatred for each other. But if they parted for a moment, maybe they could return to being a whole couple.

But the rice has become porridge. It's all too late. The judge had already knocked the farewell hammer on them. The divorce papers from the court have also been signed. Their status is no longer husband and wife. Moreover, Karan had completely forgotten about it. The proof is that the man is married to another woman. This shows the Kingdom is no longer needed. Although now Raya is back to meet Karan, nothing will change.

She is not a good wife because she does not understand her husband's suffering. She is also not the perfect mother for Luca because she has kept the child away from her biological father. However, Raya is not a woman who has no heart to snatch a husband from a wife. She was once a wife, she knew how sick it would be if there was a third person in her household even though that was not the case as long as she was married to Karan. The man is loyal just as he is loyal to the man. The gratitude of their divorce was not for an affair, just a misunderstanding and to make them stop hurting each other. Because if there was a third person, maybe Raya would never again want to see Karan's face for good.

Yes, it should be grateful even though it is useless now. Accepting the fact Karan has had another heart patch makes Raya feel angry. He was upset and disappointed. But Raya shouldn't behave like this. He has no right to rule Karan. The man has his own life's desires and goals unlike him who only has one goal, which is to raise Luca well even if only alone. It should not be that Raya wants Karan to stay on his own like him.

“I want to help him. I really want to help Karan. But I can't,” chirps Raya. It's a heavy choice that he never made. When she had the opportunity to help her ex-husband, she could do nothing.

“Why can't you, Mom? Only you can help Mr. Karan to recover from his pain. That's the purpose I came here,” Ian told Raya. Only that woman can help Karan. He was sure of that for sure. Not only a year two Ian accompanied Karan, he had accompanied the man for more than a decade. Every time Karan has a hard time due to his trauma, the CEO will look at a picture of a girl wearing high school clothes who is always in her room and desk.

“Karan is married. Have you been with that? You should have called his wife here instead of coming to me.”

“What?” Ian was surprised to hear that. He then realized what Raya had just said. The woman was referring to the lies Karan had been telling all along. About the CEO who married again to protect himself from the women who want to disturb him. “Bu, this is not what you think. Look, first, Mr. Karan has never remarried after divorcing from you. Second, the wedding announcement was only a camouflage of Mr. Karan from the women who wanted to approach him.”

Both eyes of Raya were wide. Of course he was surprised to hear it. All this time he thought Karan was married, even until a moment ago. Karan's fact of not being married makes him wrong. “You didn't lie ‘kan?”

“For what did I lie to you? All this time I took care of all the needs of Mr. Karan. I know for a fact that he has no wife or partner. In fact, there was not a single woman he was approaching right now. He just focused on working, and of course the other reason is because he can't forget you. Ma'am, Mr. Karan's past does scare him, but his biggest fear is losing you.”

Raya was completely unconvinced by Ian's words before she saw it for herself with her eyes. With all consideration finally Raya also agreed to follow Ian. He asked Edgar for permission. As usual, the man helped her. He even promised to take care of Luca while Raya went to see Karan.

When Raya arrives inside the hotel room, she is shocked to see Karan. The man was soaked with sweat that flooded his body. His face was pale and both of his hands were clenched tightly. Karan sleeps restlessly. He moved his head to the right and left, looking for the most comfortable place. But it made him unable to sleep at all. Physically Karan is indeed under the control of sleeping pills, unfortunately his mind is not. The man was in a dreamland so terrifying that he was so agitated.

“Raya! Dude, don't leave me! Don't leave me!” karan said in his dream. Almost every minute the man muttered the name Raya. That's right what Ian said. Karan's biggest fear is losing himself. He loved her so much that he could sacrifice anything for her. Being loved that much made Raya so moved. How could he not repay Karan's love? Because basically, Raya's feelings for Karan were the same. He also loves Karan so much that he cannot open his heart to another man.

“Karan, relax. I was right here. I will not go away from you anymore,” said Raya while holding Karan's hand. While continuing to calm the man down, Raya changed into a wet Karan outfit. The answer has been from where the old scratches that filled Karan's body came from. It turned out that the injuries were obtained from the prison where Karan was held for two years. Karan has gone through his tough days there, physical injuries to abuse he has experienced. It's Karan's time to be happy. And Raya wants to be a part of Karan's happiness.

*****

“You're not stupid, Karan. No. gabe. This happens because of our misunderstanding that does not want to clarify reality and instead chooses to believe it raw.” Raya refuses when Karan calls himself a fool. They are not stupid, but naive. But that doesn't mean it can't be fixed. No more barriers now. The misunderstanding is resolved. It's important to think about what happens to them in the future. Don't forget they're not just the two of you. There was Luca in their midst. Whatever decision they would take should be based on the boy's happiness as well.

“Yes you're right. It's just a misunderstanding. Great and sad misunderstanding,” Karan said.

“But that sadness should no longer exist now. You see there!” Raya raised her index finger which relented to a boy who had just walked out of the classroom. The child is very smart to identify where his parents are. Because it did not take long, after seeing Raya and Karan not near the door, Luca immediately circulated his gaze to the park. Sure enough, he saw his father and mother there. With quick steps Luca walked towards where Raya and Karan were sitting.

Karan understands what the ex-wife is talking about. “We have Luca. Yes, it should not be a sad thing,” Karan admitted. Honestly Karan felt sad and disappointed because he could not see the development of his son from the womb until the age of four years. But seeing Luca grow up so healthy as he is now, Karan is feeling very happy, and that is enough to treat his disappointment. “But Kingdom, can I do it?”

Raya cringing. “Do what do you mean?”

Karan looked at Luca for a while, then turned to look at the woman beside him, “Do I deserve to be a father to Luca?”