Bella's Script
Just give up?

Devan's eyes blinked softly, as he let out a loud noise from under his room.

“Breng!” Following the sound of falling objects that make him open his eyes wide.

He touched his forehead and it turned out that there was a towel compress there. He also felt a little cold when it turned out that he slept bare-chested.

He put his compress towel on the bedside table. When he turned his head, there was a spoon with a large drinking glass that he used to use. Not only that, he also found his cellphone next to a rose gold-colored phone that he was very familiar with.

Bella's phone, yes it's Bella's phone that still makes active calls. Looks like he's using handsfree.

“She's here?” Devan.

He immediately got up from his bed and made his head slightly dizzy. He sat for a while to adjust the pressure in his head cavity. Apparently the contents of his head were quite shocked because he woke up suddenly.

He also tried to remember what happened last night. The last thing he remembered was the moment he vaguely saw Bella's shadow approaching him as he came out of the bathroom. Last night he felt his body was not healthy. He vomited several times in the bathroom until his body felt weak.

As he came out of the bathroom, he felt that his body would soon collapse. But he faintly saw the figure of Bella who ran up to him. Her lips felt heavy calling Bella's name, to make sure that what she saw was not her imagination.

“Iya Van, it's me. Bella.” A voice that feels far away at the end of his hearing.

Everything starts to dim, colorful and then dark. A second later he felt his body so light that it could not hold on to his sturdy legs. He no longer remembers what happened last night.

Then, who brought him here? Bella yet?

Devan immediately regained his senses when he saw his clothes scattering on the bed. The sweater he was wearing because he felt cold, then a black shirt and of course a singlet shirt that was lying just like that.

“Mah, this seems a bit clumsy. Add more water?” The voice down there is clear. Devan smiled slightly, now he was very sure that it was Bella's voice.

He immediately got out of his bed. Take the shirt out of the closet and wear it. He opened the curtains that covered the window of his room. The light of the sun is shining and makes him reflex eye slashing because of glare.

After a few days, only this time again did he open the curtains and windows to let fresh air into his room. Usually this room is always closed and only rely on light to illuminate it. But this time it's all different. Brighter and brighter.

After feeling his appearance more presentable, Devan immediately went down. Bella who heard Devan's footsteps immediately turned around.

“Hay! Sorry, the kitchen is a mess.” Bella looked surprised.

"Is it better?" Bella was still watching Devan walk over.

The girl was still in her pajamas, with an oversized apron covering her body. In his hand he wore cooking gloves while holding a soup spoon. I don't know what he's doing. Cook it?

“It's okay. I'm feeling better.” Sahut Devan smiled. He approached Bella to find out what she was doing.

“Lo sit down. I'll be done in a minute. Oh yeah, that's a drink lo. Drink plenty of water so as not to dehydrate.” Bella pointed to the glass filled with water she prepared on the mini bar-shaped table.

Devan sat there quietly. “Thanks.” He said as he grabbed the glass and sipped it.

“My Pleasure.” Bella continued her work.

From his place, Devan was still looking at Bella who was cooking. I don't know what he made to make the kitchen mess, things fall and the kitchen set door is wide open. Luckily her body is not too high so the distance with the kitchen set door is quite far.True Saras said, Bella is not good with work in the kitchen but she is still trying.

“Okey, done. Now it's not tightness.” He muttered as he took off the cooking gloves.

He also took off the handsfree and put it in his pajama pocket. He took the bowl he had prepared and put a few spoons of soup food that turned out to contain porridge.

Apparently he made porridge for Devan.

Devan smiles at Bella's efforts. He tried very hard when it was difficult for him.

“Jeng jeng!!” Excited as he showed the food finished in the cook and has been beautifully arranged on the tray. He smiled brightly making Devan smile. Today feels so different than in previous days.

“Lo breakfast first yes.. Habisin, let your energy cepet recover.” Bella puts the food in front of Devan.

“Thanks Bell.” Sahut Devan while looking at Bella's homemade porridge beautifully arranged on a tray. He could not bear to eat it.

“Sama-sama.” Timpal Bella is still looking at Devan.

Devan took his spoon and scooped a spoonful of porridge.

“How does it feel?” Bella waits impatiently in front of Devan. He even propped up his chin with his right hand, patiently waiting for Devan's comment.

“Enak.” Tell Devan really.

“Yes! Succeed.” Bella exclaimed happily.

It is clear that his face is satisfied because it managed to make this food even though it has made Devan's kitchen messy.

“Oh yes, I have not measured the temperature lo.” Without Devan guessing, Bella quickly approached.

He cupped Devan's face with both hands while looking at Devan's face with a frowning forehead. Devan could see Bella's face very closely. His eyes were black, his lips were pink and dry and some of the wet hair was mixed with sweat. Also his round eyes were looking at him warmly.

A second later time was like stopping for Devan. Only his heart then beat hard and fast. His blood swirled quickly warmed his entire body and his hair brushed just because Bella cupped his face.

“Hey, I can faint again.” Inner Devan with bated breath.

“Udah adem.”  It was Bella who immediately let go of her hand. He pulled his body away from Devan who was still sculpting.

“Semalem lo high fever, until 40.2. Fortunately you can nelen drugs, so you do not constantly fever.” Bella said as she cleaned up little by little Devan's kitchen was a mess.

Finding Devan who was only silent, Bella finally turned around. He saw Devan just looking at him with a spoon hanging in his hand.

“It feels like something is lacking..” Mumbled, seriously thinking.

“Oh yes, soy sauce! Why can I forget?!” Bella chattered to herself. He took a small chair nearby. Go up to it to check the kitchen set and look for the presence of soy sauce. Devan was surprised to see the haphazard behavior of Bella up and down the bench quickly.

“Bell,.” Call Devan.

“Wait Van, I nyari first ketchup. Pantesan was lacking, it turns out I forgot the soy sauce.” Bella chuckles to herself with her stupidity.

“Who met!” Excited with excitement.

Devan didn't respond to anything. He just looked at Bella with an uncertain feeling. Her heart was unceasingly racing just because it saw Bella smiling from finding soy sauce.

“Bell,,,” Again Devan called him.

“Yups! Okay, here's the soy sauce.” Bella puts soy sauce in front of Devan.

“I think it's a little salty, intentionally the hell because it must be your tongue pait. But if you have soy sauce, hmmmmm…. It feels like it must be better. Try deh!” The light of Bella who again stood in front of Devan while leaning to support her chin on the table waiting for Devan to do what he suggested.

Devan just smiled. The man did not take his soy sauce and looked at Bella instead.

“What? Can't believe it tastes better?” Bella asked again.

Devan just shook his head. He stirred his porridge with a spoon.

“Bell,.” He called her Bella again.

“Yups! Lo what are you talking about? Anything less?” Bella looked up at Devan. I don't know what this guy wants.

A moment later Devan replied to Bella's face fixedly. It was obvious that he was gathering his courage.

“Nikah yuk.” Suddenly, but full of confidence.

Bella's lips that were previously concentrated are now faded. He straightened his body and slightly moved away from Devan.

“Hahaha... Early in the morning, I was joking. Candaan you are not funny Van.” He said while smiling. He took off the apron he was wearing and put it on the table.

Devan stood up and looked at Bella who was on her back.

“Gue is no longer joking Bell. I am talking very seriously and very sure.” Strictly without being able to stand. His hands until clenched full of firmness.

“Oh yes? In such a situation?” Bella turned to look at Devan. It is clear that he doubted Devan's words.

“Lo sure I married in this condition?” He repeated his question while looking at Devan in wonder.

“Yes! I got married in a gini condition. What's wrong? I want to marry you because I love and love you. What's problem?” Devan asked back, but Bella just threw away her face with a faint smile.

“Gue knows how it might not be romantic. No flower bucket, no romantic dinner. No rose petals are scattered and no heart-shaped candles are lit around us. Right now, I am very sure of my feelings. And this is what I want to say to you. So, with all I have, Bell, will you marry me?” Ask Devan firmly. He looked at Bella with confidence, showing that she was very serious.

Both of them were silent for a moment. Bella was only bowed while Devan was still looking at Bella who was standing away from her. The girl tried to keep her distance.

A second later, Bella stared back at Devan. He smiled and replied, “NO! Big NO!.” Bella replied no less firmly.

“Hah, why?” Ask Devan. He was sure that Bella had the same feelings as him.

“Yes, because I can't!” Firmly Bella while sniffing her shoulders indifferently.

He touched his neck which suddenly felt cold. He seemed to think for a moment and then tried to smile at Devan with his teary eyes.

“Gue does not enjoy anything with Van.” He said with a trembling voice.

“Are you serious?” Devan doesn't believe Bella's words.

“Of course! I’m so serious!” Bella was sure. He turned his face away from Devan and a second later his tears came.

“Gue know, you are very good with me. You act sweet with me and you make me comfortable. But,” Bella paused her sentence by wiping her tears.

“That means nothing in my heart.” again Bella smiled but her tears remained bright.

“Gue doesn't even know what I'm feeling right now. Seneng, sad, moved, angry, or what?”

“Yes, I don't know anything. What's more is love. It's not in my heart Van.” Bella insists while gripping her own shirt.

“Are you sure?” Devan walked over to Bella. Her eyes were already teary looking at Bella who seemed to be deeply tormented by her own confession.

The girl slowly backed away. He clung to the wall to support his weak body.

“Gue has destroyed Van. My heart and mentality are broken. I can laugh but I can never be happy again let alone touched. And like now, I cry but I don't know what feelings I feel now.”

“And now, you ask me to marry you, this is too ridiculous. Lo is too scary for me Van.”

“Because, because I don't know what to feel like? I don't know if I can feel love like I used to. Can I repay everything you love or can I prioritize someone in my life like I used to?”

“No, I doubt that. I'm really not sure.” His voice sounded very weak and trembling.

“So, don't expect more of me. You do not need to prioritize your life for someone who only makes choices with all his uncertainties. No, don't do that. I know what it feels like and it hurts Van.” Bella with tears in her eyes.

Devan just pegged in his place. I don't know why her tears just dripped hearing Bella's words. Not because of her rejection but rather the difficulties Bella is facing right now has made her sick.

“Please stop. Don't cry for me. I'm tired of pity." Bella's voice sounded trembling. He approached Devan and stared fixed netra owned by a man in front of him.

"Don’t ask me anymore, hemh. All done!” Bella said with great hope.

Devan was only dumbstruck, staring at the clear eyes that were now turning red. Bella is not a good liar. Devan saw clearly the fear and sense of being linked into one for him to then endure.

Without waiting for long, he moved from his place to take the car keys on the living room table. After that he left. Go without ever looking at Devan again. He was so sure that everything he was doing right now was the best for him and Devan.

“Bell,..” Lirih Devan with her tears that she tried to endure.

He pressed the corner of his eye so as not to cry anymore, but it seemed difficult. He pulled his coarse hair and raised his face to look at the spacious ceiling that suddenly felt narrow. Bella's condition became a blow to him. The girl he loved still had her trauma. It's very traumatizing to have a relationship that isn't playful.

And now, what should he do?

Just give up?

*****