Bella's Script
I'm scared

Bella and Saras are still sitting in the waiting chair of the ER room. The devastated Saras leaned weakly on Bella who was trying hard. Her tears never stopped flowing without sobbing.

It is true that a mother's weakness is her children. He can withstand any pain but when faced with the condition of his sick child, his world was instantly destroyed. Bad shadows filled his mind and he knew what he would do if something bad happened to Ozi.

Bella is still trying to calm Saras down. He rubbed his mother's back while trying to strengthen himself.

The previous plan, tomorrow was supposed to be the first day Ozi started her treatment. He will undergo a series of examinations and monitoring of the stability of physical condition as the basis for making decisions on operative action plans.

But unexpected things happen. That afternoon, after returning from the boutique when Saras checked Ozi into her room. Knocked on the door a few times, but Ozi did not answer. Saras's ungodly feeling led him to open the door to Ozi's room which was not locked.

Ozi was asleep curled up on his bed. Nothing strange actually until then Saras found Ozi's bed that was as messy as a scar gripped firmly. He also saw broken glass on the floor.

Saras approached him immediately.

"Ang, Son..." Saras checked Ozi's condition.

Some subtle swabs could not wake Ozi up.

"Ang, Honey.." He shook Ozi's body but Ozi did not flinch at all.

Saras tried to listen to his breathing and heart rate. Saras's eyes immediately widened in shock as he felt Ozi's breathing and heart rate were very weak, barely felt. His body was cold.

"Abang, brother please wake up son." Saras pushed a little of Ozi's body to his back.

"Heeyyy Brother.. This is mama son. Let's get up, son. Isuzis..." Saras started to panic. He patted Ozi on the cheek but Ozi did not respond.

"Astagfirullah... Please wake up, son. Hey!!!" Saras shook Ozi's body getting stronger but Ozi just rolled weakly without a response.

Saras realized something was wrong with her son.

Without waiting for long, he immediately called the emergency services. With trembling he tried to contact Bella but her phone was inactive. Luckily, he was able to contact Devan, who was with Bella.

The situation was really scary for Saras. And until now the doctor has not come out to give any explanation. Which mother's heart is not worried.

“Bell, drink first..” There was Devan's sturdy hand that gave Bella a bottle of mineral water to calm her down.

The girl could not hide her panic despite trying to sit quietly. Since then he had not spoken anything, just sitting dumbstruck with an expression that could not be explained. Very worrying.

Bella turned her head with her deathly pale face and teary eyes. It felt like he wanted to cry but not here not in front of Saras.

“My phone is also charged. Inka had several times to contact you, you should try calling back. Aunt let me.” Imbuh Devan gestured for Bella to go to calm herself for a while.

Bella looked at Devan's firm hand outstretched at her. So panicked he did not think to charge his cellphone which had died since. And Devan did it. A very meaningful little thing, Bella thought.

“Thanks Van.” And at times like this, Devan understands that Bella needs space for herself for a while.

“Hem.” Devan sat down to Saras' right.

“Mah, adek to toilet bentar ya.. Mamah in temenin Devan first. If there is anything direct phone adek.”

“Iya nak.”

“Titip mamah ya Van, I stay bentar.” Pamit Bella's.

Devan nodded to deny Bella.

Bella passes away while Saras is accompanied by Devan. Bella still sees that Devan is giving Saras drinks and food because her mother seems so weak. Bella can only smile a little while shedding tears at Devan's treatment of Saras. The man was so painstaking, accompanied Saras to try to talk casually to divert Saras' mind from daydreaming about the no-no.

“Thanks Van.” Bella could only thank the man.

Bella goes into the toilet, she washes her pale face. For a moment he looked at his wet face in the mirror with tears gathering at the corner of his eyes. He cupped his face with both hands. In his mind now appeared shadows if then Ozi left. Akh no, he can't if he has to lose back the person he loves.

There were footsteps approaching the toilet. Bella straightened her body. He washed his face again and set his breath to be calmer. No, he can't cry here either.

Just look at someone standing next to her and glance at Bella curiously. Bella ignored him even though she realized there was never a place where she could cry as much to express her current feelings of grief.

"Lo strong Bell. You have to be strong." Bella looked at her face sharply. His pale and tense face was not able to be carried relaxed even though he had washed and managed to breathe several times. Akh, sucks.

Luckily, the phone managed to distract him. The Inca name appeared on the phone screen and immediately Bella replied.

Bella cleared her throat to neutralize her voice. “Iya Ka.” Although it still sounds sad.

“Bell, where are you? From there on the phone, can't you? You're okay, right?” Ask Inka streak.

It is not usual for a responsive person like Bella to ignore her calls.

“Yes, Sorry my phone ran out of battery continues to charge so I am not horrified. What's up Ka?” The sound of heavy breathing was still heard by the Incas.

“Lo is fine, right Bell? How do you sound gini?” Inca saw the screen of his phone though it was not actually a video call.

“Nothing, I'm fine kok.” Sahut Bella while holding her breath and then biting her lips mute. He tried to hold back his tears but it was hard. When the Inca asked, she wanted to cry.

“Don't lie to me. Come video call.” Inka changed its calling mode with video calling.

“Gue again in toilet Ka. Not now yes.” Bella's voice turned hoarse. He did not answer the video call.

“Lo don't joke with me. I'm talking about why?” Suddenly the sound of the Inca rose in panic. The reckless thing that Bella has done makes the Inca always sensitive to any small changes either sound or gesture Bella.

Bella was silent for a moment, she could not lie to the Inca. His fist he made a focus to rest on the side of the sink. He raised his head to hold back the tears that had gathered at the corner of his eye. Don't cry now she thought. But he realized this was so fragile now.

“Abang I fainted Ka. And until now has not been conscious.” Bella with a stammer. He scratched the back of his own hand so as not to cry.

“Yes allah..” There was the sound of the Inca weakening.

“In which RS is Bell?” He tried to continue his sentence.

“RS Budi Mulya.”

“Okey, I'm there.” Firmly Inca who immediately ended his call.

Bella just put her phone in the sink. He looked back at his face in the mirror. Just saying a few words can be exhausting. He hugged his body with both hands.

“It’s okey Bell. Brother will be fine. He just needs a rest. Now you have to be strong because mama same brother again need the power of lo.” Bella said stammeringly. He was trying to encourage himself.

Several times he sighed deeply, then exhaled slowly to calm himself. After feeling better, he decides to reunite with Saras and Devan.

“Family patient on behalf of Bima?” Call a medical officer.

Bella quickens her pace to approach Saras and Devan.

“Please excuse me, mom ready?” Ask the officer.

“I'm his mother.”

“I'm his sister.” Saras and Bella were almost at the same time.

“Good, please come in. Doctor wants to meet and talk to patient's family.” The medic opens the door and directs Bella and Saras to enter a room.

Apparently there's a doctor Antony waiting for them.

“How are you bu?” A smiling doctor greeted Saras. He extended his hand in turn to Saras and Bella.

“Good doc.” Sahut Saras's.

“Good mother, sorry in advance because I have to convey the current condition of the patient.” Doctor Antony began his sentence with a small smile trying to encourage.

“Please doc.” Sahut Saras's. He breathed in preparing to hear whatever the doctor was saying at this time. Her cold hands clasped Bella's hands to strengthen each other.

“As scheduled, the plan is that the patient will enter hospitalization tomorrow ma'am, after the original drug therapy program is completed. The patient's condition is not very good. Hemoglobin levels in his blood dropped drastically and the patient also felt a very severe pain in his head. It is also what makes the patient lose consciousness.” Doctor Antony's opening sentence managed to make Saras sobbing. He could not imagine as much pain as Ozi experienced to unconsciousness.

Bella embraces the mother, rubbing her arms to calm her down.

“Pardon me, it looks like we have to back off the patient's surgery plan until the patient's condition stabilizes. However, the patient will be surgically removed so that hemoglobin levels in his blood must be normal to minimize other risks.”

“For now, I suggest inpatients first yes ma'am, we will monitor the condition and the next action plan we will plan later.” Dr. Antony explained as he closed Ozi's medical record document.

“Iya doc. Please do your best for my son. I can't bear to see she always endures pain.” Pinta Saras really.

“Sure, we will work as optimally as possible. But we also need the support of the family to encourage the patient and give him peace of mind during the treatment process.”

“Good doc.” Saras and Bella compactly nodded in agreement.

“Well then, this is no prescription for the patient. Please take the medicine first.” Antony gave Bella a prescription.

“Thank you doc.” Bella is not very familiar with the writing but all she knows is that Ozi is in desperate need of these drugs.

“Dok, have I been able to see my child?” Ask Saras expectantly.

“Please mom.” Doctor Antony's, please,

“Thank you doc.”

They came out of Antony's office.

While in front of the door of the transit room, Bella was silent for a moment. He looked at the transparent curtain that covered the figure of Ozi lying down. Instantly the memory of the accident of the father flashed in Bella's mind. He still remembered the thrilling moment when he opened the curtain and his father's face was deathly pale.

"The patient has died." A nurse standing next to Fauzi covered Fauzi's face with a white cloth.

Bella's heart stopped beating. His world seemed to collapse and his weak staggered body nearly fell.

"Father..." Wiry Bella with a circle of tears that drip without a sob. Trembling he tried to touch Fauzi's hand which was already piled on his stomach and bound by a white cloth full of blood.

"Astag." Bella immediately closed her eyes and shook her head to wake her mind from the nightmare.

He had to be sure that the same thing would not happen to Ozi. Ozi should be fine..

“Mah, adek take first brother medicine ya.” Pamit Bella later. It can't be here too long.

“Iya darling.” Said Saras who looked hasty to want to see Ozi immediately.

The middle-aged woman walks into a transit treatment room while Bella goes out to buy medicine.

“Bell, how is Ozi?” There's Devan pausing Bella's steps on the doorstep.

“Udah siuman, again in temenin mamah. I took the medicine first to the pharmacy.”

“Let me take it, lo temenin Ozi aja.” Tawar Devan's.

“No need, I'm aja.” Bella persisted and soon passed.

“Bell!” Call Devan who immediately catches up with Bella and stands right in front of her.

He looked at Bella who looked sad and agitated. When their gazes met, Bella immediately turned her face away. Devan could see the tears that Bella tried to hold in her eyes.

Devan takes the recipe from Bella's hand and the girl does not refuse.

“Lo don't need to be this hard on yourself. Ozi does need a strong lo and encourage him but Ozi does not need you who pretend.” Devan's words made Bella feel like she was slapped.

He bit his lips which were shaking withstanding the crying. Why is it so hard?

“Bell, there I am here. Although I can not reduce your burden, but you can share it with me. You are not alone.” Devan said with great anxiety.

Bella just bowed lethargic while clenching her hands. It sucks to admit the truth of Devan's words. He is pretending to be strong when in fact his heart is not karena.

“Gue fear Van..” He nodded with a trembling voice. A single tear fell from his eye.

Wordlessly. One hand Devan pulled Bella's body which she then hugged tightly. Bella's cry slowly broke. The crying that he had been hiding behind his efforts to look calm.

“Gue will meet that fear. You are not alone Bell.” He rubbed Bella's head.

Slowly Devan heard Bella sobbing. He also felt Bella's tears wetting his shirt. The girl was crying a hiccup in Devan's arms. Nothing else is in his possession. Devan could see Bella's shoulders moving up and down and her hands clutching Devan's shirt tightly. It has come to this point, the point of giving up and not pretending.

No, he's not giving up. He is just accepting his suffering. Yes, accept the grief and show it in front of Devan. Devan can feel the true fear and sadness of Bella at this time. In the rubbing of Bella's head gently then he kissed with a feeling.

For a Bella, it may be difficult, showing her weakness in the presence of others. And Devan is aware, he may not be able to reduce Bella's sadness and anxiety about Ozi's condition but he has promised that he will not leave Bella's side for any reason.

For a moment both were silent. Devan lets Bella strip off to her satisfaction in her arms. He also did not care about the few people passing by around them and set eyes that glanced at them with curiosity.

Most importantly for her at the moment, she did not let Bella feel alone.

******