Bella's Script
With him, with him,

This is an anti-depressant drug that Bella must take for the fourth time. A white tablet placed by the nurse on a small bowl with a bottle of mineral water. He was silent when the nurse asked him to take the medicine.

He was still thinking, would he continue to take this medicine or throw it away?

I don't know how this drug works which obviously he feels not too sad at this time. The pain in his chest slowly dissipated although he did not yet feel a sense of relief.

“This medicine cannot cure depression. This drug only helps control or relieve symptoms of depression, or lowers its severity.” That's the explanation Bella had heard from the doctor who treated her.

“I will recommend patients to meet psychologists, so that their mental condition can be handled better.” Imbuh a tall man who was later influenced by Bella.

And this morning, a woman named Ratih introduced herself as psychologist Bella. He asks a lot of questions but Bella still chooses silence. He still has not figured out how to express his feelings at this time. More precisely, I don't believe in telling stories.

His current feeling was like being pressured and making those miserable shadows disappear turned into blank papers that were piled up filling his mind.

This is not what he wants completely.

Bella tried to move her body but again, the strait jacket that wrapped her body made her only able to lie on the bed. A person who is used to being free to move like Bella feels that this time all things for her are so limited. Only his fingers were free to move though still only able to reach the bell and press it if he needed the help of a nurse.

“Krieeettt,,,” sounds the door of the room opens and Bella sees someone coming.

A tall man with long hair tied up, who else if not Devan.

Bella's efforts to wake up finally he ended and chose to return to lay her body calmly. No, he was just trying to calm down so Devan wouldn't call back the nurse or the doctor.

Somehow every time Bella over-move, people always think that Bella might come back to try to end her life. No, it's not like that.

Devan placed a plain black box on the table next to Bella, adjacent to the medicine bowl. He also put a laptop bag on the sofa and a jacket that wraps around his body. If this is the case, it can be ascertained Devan is the turn to guard Bella afternoon and tonight.

“Lo want chocolate?” the gentleman who was still wearing his work shirt was sitting next to Bella's bed. He simply rolled up his sleeves and showed his sturdy arm muscles.

Bella just turned her face away, her strength felt always exhausted. His mouth was even very dry, where he wanted to swallow the chocolate that Devan brought.

“If you do not want to take medicine, you can eat this chocolate. The effect is more or less the same, make your feeling better because it tastes sweet.” Still, this man tried to persuade Bella in his way.

There was a rough breathing from Bella's mouth, making the man stare fixedly at Bella's face which was still pale.

“Temen-temen lo want to come here, the guy who uses a tattoo, the guy who by the way the cigarette still remains in the mouth of the same former department lo, Inka. They say they want to shine the sunlight that usually nerangin their office.”

“Gue just know, if it turns out you have very good friends.” While talking Devan unfolds the chocolate wrapper and directs it to Bella's mouth.

“You try?” tanyakanya.

Bella just shook her head. Without bothering, Devan was the one who finally ate the chocolate.

“Lo want to see them?” bargaining again with a mouth full of chocolate, making Bella turn her head.

Bella stared fixedly at Devan's face which was always calm.

“Lo need something?” ask the man again. His calm face looks surprised because it managed to attract the attention of Bella.

Bella nodded small. “Lo can take off the shirt on my body? I feel a sesek.” Pinta Bella with a hoarse voice.

A few days without a sound, it turns out his voice turned raucous.

“Gue call the nurse first.” Devan's on the move soon.

“Do not..” hold Bella, make Devan stop his steps.

“Gue no longer want to be horrified by others babbling again. Lo aja aja.” Bella glanced at the belt that was tightly attached to the side of the bed.

Devan no longer spoke. He sat back down and opened one by one the belt tied to several parts of the bed.

Bella breathed a sigh of relief, as she was able to move the body that was originally just lying on her back.

“Feel better?” devan asked, noticing Bella's change in expression.

The woman nodded.

When Bella tries to get up and quickly Devan helps her. Bella notices Devan's face on top of her and is very close. He could even smell Devan's soft, masculine perfume.

“Body lo entengan, lo less eat.” Cetus Devan is actually.

It is true, since the incident he saw Bella sitting on the sidewalk until now, Bella's body weight is much reduced. Just look at her big eyes and her cheeks that are starting to taper.

“Lo can take me away?” pinta Bella suddenly.

“Where?” not trying to turn down Bella's request. He looked at Bella to see if it would be okay to take Bella away.

“Wherever you can. I just don't want to be here.” Bella was hopeful.

Devan did not answer. He removed the strait jacket on Bella's body and left only a white patient shirt with a star motif. His deft hand took his jacket and put it on Bella.

Once everything is ready, Devan sits in front of Bella. He looked at Bella with a fixed look while holding both sides of Bella's shoulder.

“Gue can take you anywhere. But the one I asked for. No more trying to die in front of me.” He said firmly.

Bella was just stunned, staring at the dense netra that felt warm hypnotized her.

“Can?” ask Devan.

“Hem,” just that Bella's legitimately with stifled haru flavor. Right now it's like no one understands it enough other than Devan.

“Okey.”

Devan wears a hoodie to cover Bella's head. Pulling Bella's hand for her to wrap around her neck and again carrying Bella's body. He knew Bella's legs must have been limp because they were always on the bed.

Then he quietly took Bella out of the treatment room and walked quickly to the parking lot.

*****

The slow pace of the car mingled with other vehicles that drove fast on the right lane. Devan deliberately drove his car not too fast, while occasionally paying attention to Bella who was sitting next to him.

The woman looked engrossed looking out the half-opened window. A gust of wind blew his curly brat also caressed his pale face.

Without purpose, their journey is without purpose. Driving alone, occasionally met with red lights, street buskers, food vendors or occasionally stuck in traffic can only make them patient.

The long and long journey had unknowingly brought the two of them out of Jakarta. Several times stopped and met the traffic jam did not bother Bella who was engrossed with her thoughts. Until finally they stopped in front of a tourist spot that was already deserted.

“Already closed mas,” said a security who approached Devan.

Devan looked at the circular clock in his hand, it was already over 9 p.m.

“If the mas want to go to another place that is still open, can go up there little. There is a plateau for hanging out.” Fresh security noticed that there was a sad-faced girl in the car.

“Thank you sir.” Only that Devan said before finally turning the steering towards the place where the security showed earlier.

Only about 10 minutes away, Devan and Bella arrive at a deserted, empty plateau. There are only a few merchants who still sell hot food and drinks.

“Lo want to come down?” bargain Devan on Bella.

Bella just shook her head.

“Do not go anywhere, wait a minute.” Imbabnya before going down.

Leaving Bella alone in the car, makes Devan not free to leave. Because he had to go to the toilet, he left Bella to a woman who owned a stall. The middle-aged woman complied when asked for help to pay attention to Bella.

A few minutes passed, Devan returned with two warm drinks in his hand. Followed by a woman carrying a plate of food. He got back in the car and put a drink on the right side of the door.

He took Bella's hand to give her a warm drink.

“Drink, let you not catch wind.” He said as he patted Bella's hand in his hand.

Bella was silent, looking at the warm drink that was still puffing the smoke. The smell of spices warmed up his nose. Devan started to enjoy the drink in his hand.

Bella's hands were still trembling but the girl was trying to enjoy her drink. Sipping it a little, made his dry throat feel warm. Devan can smile with relief, seeing Bella who is not just sculpting.

From inside the car, they enjoyed the view of the city below. Also the view of the place that had been closed and turned out to be a playground.

“Lo no need to keep holding back your feelings. In this place, you are free to do anything. If you need to scream, yell until you feel better.” Said Devan who again sipped a warm drink in his hand while looking ahead there.

I heard a deep breath coming from Bella's mouth. The woman's eyes looked glazed under the not-so-bright light. Several times sigh and exhale, it does not necessarily make his feelings better.

“Our journey has been very far but until now I have not been able to leave my mind in Jakarta.” Bella suddenly said. He stared at the drink in his hand while gripping it tightly.

“Every point of the road we have passed, I have passed it with Rangga.” Tears escaped dripping on Bella's cheek. This time, the girl sobbed softly, softly and in pain.

He tried to push the corner of his eye, but his cry remained unstoppable.

“Nobody forbid you make cry.” Timpal Devan watches Bella.

“Huhuhuuuuuuuuu...” Finally Bella's cries completely broke. His voice was in the car.

Devan deliberately turns on the music so that Bella's voice is not heard from the outside.

For about half an hour it happened. Bella is free to cry from sniffling to roaring furiously and shouting harshly. All left to Devan, he sat down next to Bella and closed his eyes. I can imagine how sick Bella has been.

Bella's crying stopped. Devan gives a tissue sheet for Bella to wipe her tears. He also played down the sound of music that originally echoed.

“8 Years is not a moment. Many things I passed by Rangga.” While sniffling Bella restarted her sentence.

“Good, caring, always supporting me even though sometimes he is busy with his work without being disturbed.”

“He is good at being sweet with me, melt my heart and make me sure that he will nemenin me until old age later.”

“But,”

“A few days ago I could just sit like a fool, writhing him making out with Amara without I could ban.” Bella smiled bitterly.

“Professional is bullshit! I just pretended not to care, pretended to look strong while trying to suppress my memories with Rangga.”

“Everything he does in front of me is like a mirror reflecting my memories of the past. How warm Rangga's gaze, how soft Rangga's hand rub when touching my hand. How strong my heart beats just because he looks at me intently. It was all mine but I lost it all.” Bella bowed lethargic while sobbing. Deep, yes very deep.

“Gue did not recognize Rangga at that time. While the shadow of Rangga in my mind is still always alive. I was forced to forget him, to be aware of the same reality that exists but my heart rejected it. I'm sick Van, I can't forget everything so aja.” Bella turned to face Devan who was now looking at her anxiously.

“My memories are just as Rangga too much. There is no other memory stronger than my memory of him. How do I hide it, huh? Even with me jumping into the water doesn't make my brain stop thinking and don't repeat all those memories Van. I want to sleep normally. Without thinking about Rangga, without dreaming that everything I passed was very bad. How is Van?!” Bella clutches Devan's hand tightly, very tightly and Devan leaves her alone.

Seeing Bella's desperate eyes, she lets Bella cry in front of her, without any feelings she tried to cover up or disbelieve like all this time.

“Ngelupain it's all impossible Bell. But you don't have to die just because all those memories are too attached to your mind.” Devan said.

"Which actually makes you sicker? Your heart is sick because of the duakan or ego lo hurt because you feel you have struggled a lot for him?"

He held onto both shoulders of Bella who was drooping limp and tried to straighten her body that was leaning towards him.

The woman simply looked at Devan with her sad eyes and her quivering lips holding back the cries.

“Denger I once again Bell, you impossible to forget all that.” firmly Devan with a sharp gaze.

“Lo accept it as part of your life that now you can only remember. You can continue your life even though there are them. They are one of the many things that fill your life. They are no longer anyone and cannot affect your life. Okay?!” firm Devan with barking eyes, trying to convince.

“Gue can't Van, I can'taa..” Bella's body droops weakly. Back in front of Devan.

At the pull of Bella's body to Devan hug.

“Lo can Bell!"

"Lo's been through a lot more difficult things than this and through it all well. Lo can always do anything including hell if they have ever been in the life of lo.” tightly, yes Devan's embrace is very tight.

Bella just cries roaring in Devan's arms while clutching a shirt on Devan's back. While Devan patiently rubbed Bella's head and calmed her down.

Unknowingly, he kissed Bella's head, sipping a sour fragrance in her hair. For some reason, feeling Bella in his arms became a calmness in itself for him.

*******