I'm Just a Figurant

I'm Just a Figurant
Ch 79 - Focus On My Baby


I'm going home. I don't know why after making a decision my feelings became calmer. I hope to be strong and not falter anymore. I'll just think about my baby, nothing else.


"Lady..."


"I'm Mom?"


"I want a list of pregnancy classes. Please find what you think is good."


"I got permission from Mr. Yohan first Ma'am."


"Yes, whatever." Whatever it is, I don't care. Even if it's not allowed, I can study at home.


"Sir, please send me a check..."


"Wouldn't you wait for Mr. Yohan to come?"


"no need. It was supposed to be last week check the schedule."


"I need Mr. Yohan Bu's permission." Yes, just keep permitting. Maybe just to go to the bathroom I need to get her permission.


I went back to the room. I no longer cry. I will live only for my baby. When I was living alone in Malang, my mind was always focused on my baby. Since Alex, my mind has been divided. I think about Alex so much that sometimes I forget that the ups and downs of my emotions will affect my fetus.


Now, I'm not gonna let Alex affect my emotions anymore. Whatever she's acting like, I won't care anymore. I'll erase this taste.


***


Today is the fifth day. I no longer cry. I slept all night hugging my fetus. Apologizing to him for making him feel what I feel.


I woke up feeling strange. I feel wet on the bottom of my body. I groped the bed cover and blanket. It's not just my guess. My bed cover and blanket are completely wet. Same with my panties and my negligee. Did I pee accidentally?


I smell that liquid. It doesn't smell at all. Just a little bit of a fuss in the hand. This liquid is not urine, then what liquid is it?


I got up slowly, picked up my phone and started to figure it out. Based on the information I got, it turned out that it was amniotic fluid/amniotic fluid.


My body started shaking. My pregnancy just entered the age of 7 months, there is no way I give birth now right?


Geck... Geck... Geck...


Without hearing my answer, the door of my room opened. I saw Winda standing not far from where I was. I hid my body from the sight of Vinda. I'm afraid Winda knows my condition.


"Good morning Mother. Sorry for interrupting her break. I have received news from Mr. Yohan. She's allowed Me to take you to a pregnancy check or enroll you in a pregnancy class. When do you have time to..."


"Now Winda. Now I can. Can you get out first? I'm gonna get ready."


God answered my prayers this time. I really need to consult a gynecologist about my current condition. Why does my body expel amniotic fluid without any contractions? Is there something wrong with my body?


"Dec, stay with Mama. Don't stay in Mama. Mama is guilty of you. Allow your mother to make amends for your mistakes. Please baby, be healthy. It's not time for you to come out, baby. Stay fine in her belly Mama..."


I cleaned my wet bed and blanket. Replace it with a new one. After that I cleaned myself carefully. My body trembles. I seduced my fetus, to stay in my womb.


Many times I apologized to her, because my attitude made her like this. I just hope my baby will be okay until delivery time comes.


***


I went into the doctor's room myself. Winda forced me to accompany him. I insisted on rejecting it. We argued. Vinda always carries the name of Yohan to subdue me. Thank goodness there was a doctor's assistant defending me. He told Winda to wait outside, because imposing the will on pregnant women is very bad for his psychological condition.


I went into the room and started to consult. The doctor examined my body carefully. Check every part of my uterus. Measuring my amniotic contents and also ensuring that my fetus is in good condition.


"How long have you been going through this?"


"Mother Khansa, I'm glad you came straight here as soon as you experienced these symptoms. There are usually some pregnant women who underestimate this problem, because it is considered harmless."


"I've checked the amount of your amniotic fluid. Fortunately, the amount of amnion reduced only slightly. So your chances of giving birth prematurely are small. However, you should not underestimate this. If the amniotic fluid still keeps coming out, it's not impossible I'll do surgery."


"Why did you just walk out, Doc? I didn't experience any symptoms, not even mild contractions..."


"It's due to stress and fatigue. Tired here is not only physically tired, but also tired in mind. I recommend you to bedrest for a total of 3-4 days. I'll prescribe you medicine and vitamins. If within a period of 3-4 days the amniotic fluid still continues to come out and the liquid turns cloudy and smelly, then I will be forced to do the action of SC (caesarean section)."


"Calm yourself. Don't mind too much. Make yourself happy. Support from your partner is also very much needed here. Tell me all this with your husband, because the mental support of the baby's father will help your emotional."


I listened to all the doctors carefully. I feel more guilty about my baby. My pregnancy became like this because of my stressed mind. Thinking too much about the baby's father made me forget that my baby needed my attention as well. I have to make myself happy, so that this baby is okay.


***


"Sir, for the next few days I will always be in the room. Please tell Mbak Asih to bring my food into the room."


"What's wrong, ma'am? Are the examination results not good? May I see your examination results? I have to report to Mr. Yohan..."


"No, no. Good result. I just don't want to trouble you in taking care of me. Please report to him that the results of the examination are good. There's nothing to worry about."


"Mom sure?"


"Yes, very sure."


As the doctor suggested, I'm really bedrest. I do almost all of my activities in bed. I asked Mbak Asih to make me a healthy meal, then ate it voraciously. Taking medications and vitamins prescribed by a doctor. Doing things that make me relaxed and happy such as listening to soothing classical music or watching a light drama that makes me smile again.


The next day, I again felt my underwear and bedcover. No more liquid seepage. I exhaled a sigh of relief.


"Thank you, son, for understanding Mama. You're a really good kid. Stay with Mama until the end..."


I rubbed my stomach. As if I could understand, I felt a soft kick in my stomach. I cry because I am moved.


This baby is mine. Only this baby will repay my love. I hope to be around him forever, and we will live happily.


***


I've not counted how many days Alex left without news. That's progress for me. I no longer expected him to come or hear from him. I just focus on my baby.


It's the third day from the last time I consulted a doctor. For three consecutive days, no seepage of amniotic fluid comes out. Tomorrow is day four. Day for me to consult again.


"Tomorrow We'll see the Doctor again, Dek. It's okay, baby. Now we go to sleep."


I pulled the blanket and slept sideways. Wrap my body comfortably. It gives warmth to me and this baby.


I almost fell asleep into dreamland when I felt someone open my bedroom door. I refuse to turn. I remained in a sideways position, pretending to be asleep.


Ah, maybe it was the Winda who came. To see and check my situation.


I felt someone approaching me. Then a touch of warm lips landed on my temple.


"I'm home, baby. Is it sleeping?"


***


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