Sharing Love: Winning Without Love
Hopes Incandescent
A few hours after following the curettage procedure and the effects of drugs have disappeared. Slowly Khaira's eyelids blink until her lashes appear to move several times. Eventually, the eyes opened. Leaving his gaze still misty, until his retina caught clearly a man sitting next to the gurney clasping his hand tightly. The grip that seemed like it would not let Khaira alone. Hands so warm that they touch Khaira's heart.
"Mas.." She called her husband.
Radit who put his head on the edge of the gurney slowly looked up and looked at Khaira. "Aware of it, dear? How's it still hurt?" radit asked while gently rubbing Khaira's stomach.
Khaira shook her head, but her tears splattered her cheeks. "Mas, our child-to-be." he said with a tongue that felt muddy and his tears just glistened.
Once conscious, Khaira still remembers the curettage procedure uttered by Doctor Indri when Khaira followed the process of Dilatation or drug administration or put a tool called Laminaria which is able to soften the cervix and make it widen. After that, Khaira was unconscious again.
Realizing the sadness experienced by his wife, Radit then shifted his position. Now taking his seat on the edge of Khaira's gurney, the man quickly hugged his wife's fragile body. Funneling affection, strength, and sincerity through hugs and strokes on his wife's back.
"It's okay, dear ... God loves him more. He has become an angel in heaven" said Radit who tried to strengthen his wife.
"You are strong yes .. We live this together. Cry I can hug." again he said, still hugging Khaira.
Radit then kept quiet, giving his wife time to cry. The man just hugged and gently rubbed Khaira's back. Inside the Hospital room was just a sobbing of Khaira that seemed to fill the entire room.
Minutes passed and Khaira was still sobbing. "Patience is dear." said Radit so gently.
Khaira calmed her heart for a moment. "I feel sad and lost, Mas .. although I do not want to cry, but my tears come out by themselves" said Khaira as she sobbed.
Radit then parsed his arms for a moment with both hands holding his wife's shoulders. The man looked at his wife's face, then his finger smoothed his wife's hair, after she wiped away the tears that were still in the air. "That's the feeling of grieving over the loss of a dear. In your cloudy and foggy day, I am there to accompany you, my dear. You want to cry again can .. I hug."
Without saying much, Khaira again buried her face into her husband's chest. Spilling all the sadness and loss in her husband's arms.
So long did Khaira cry, that she fell asleep in her husband's arms. The grief of losing and crying for so long made Khaira so exhausted, that she fell asleep still sobbing.
Slowly Radit put his wife to sleep, then covered her. There is no denying the feeling of a mother who is so lost with their baby. Grief is there, disappointment is certain. However, in all that is under this heaven there is the sovereignty of the Owner of the Universe. When He wants something to happen, that's what happens, and if it doesn't, that's what happens.
Radit looked at the face of his wife who was asleep, even the woman several times still sobbing. Radit gently stroked the top of Khaira's head.
"Everything that happens with God's permission, dear ... He allows us, allows you to feel all this because He believes that we are capable, you are capable. Rest sweetheart." he said then landed a kiss on Khaira's forehead.
Radit then chose to sleep on a sofa not far from Khaira's gurney. Radit really hopes, tomorrow when the Surya say hello, Khaira can forget his sadness.
As the sun greeted slowly, it showed a faint smile until its rays entered through each of the white-colored window curtains. Khaira slowly opened her eyes. Her eyelids opened slowly, and the first sight she saw was her husband sitting with eyes scanning for Khaira.
Radit slowly smiled and walked over to Khaira. "Morning.." he said, stroking the top of Khaira's head.
Khaira can only smile. "For Mas.." he replied in a soft voice.
"is better? Or still sick?" radit asked who was worried about his wife.
Khaira shook her head. "I'm fine." she said softly.
Radit then re-embraced his wife's shoulder. "You must be strong, dear. In the future, if we are both ready, we can get pregnant again. Don't be sad, you have me. We continue to pray because prayer is a glow of hope for both of us."
Khaira nodded her head. "Yes ..thank you for standing by me on my worst day" he said.
Radit nodded his head. "Of course Honey .. Of course, I'll be with you always. We wait for the doctor's examination, if all is well, we can go home today. Are you the same as Arsyila?"
"Yes .. I miss Arsyila." she replied.
"Now we are both focused on Arsyila first yes Honey .. grateful we already have Arsyila, have a baby when our day is cloudy like this, he said, the smile and laughter of a baby gives a cool breeze to both of us" Radit said as he clasped Khaira's hand.
Not long after, Dr. Indri returned to visiting and ascertained the state of Khaira.
"Is it still sick, Mom?" ask Dr Indri to Khaira.
Khaira shook her head. "No Doc .. It's better."
"The condition of the mother is good yes .. for 6-8 hours, there is also no bleeding. So, Mom can go home. Later the nurse will come to take off the infusion and there is still medicine to take ya ma'am." Explanation from Doctor Indri who is possessed by Khaira.
"Dok, next time I finish the curettage will I still be able to get pregnant, Doc?" Khaira asked because she was a layman. Making sure later in life she can still get pregnant and give a sister to Arsyila later.
Doctor Indri smiled. "Can be Ms. .. because many post-curettage patients can also get pregnant. It is precisely the mother's uterus is clean now, there is no tissue or the rest of the placenta left in the uterus because it is clean."
Hearing the answer from Doctor Indri, Khaira was relieved. Later in life she still wanted to feel the pregnancy once again, and gave a sister to Arsyila later. It is not in the near future, but Khaira keeps hope later on.