Sharing Love: Winning Without Love
Learn to Love
Radit looked at Khaira who was crying sobbing when he saw and heard the wobble from his parents. It is true, Allah is Most Gracious and Forgiving, but can't it be if man needs proof to take back someone who has caused a bloodless incision in the recesses of his heart?
Radit who saw Khaira crying sobbed, immediately carrying the fragile girl into his arms.
"I'm sorry Khai... I'm a fucking guy. The man who gives you so much hurt."
Khaira could not say, she could only sob her head against Radit's chest.
The man's hand continued to stroke Khaira's shoulder-length hair, trying to calm the girl he loved so much. Only an apology was spoken, while Khaira began to calm down after a few minutes of focusing her head on the chest of Radit's field.
After feeling calm, Khaira broke her embrace, then returned to sitting on the sofa. Radit followed, and he went on the sofa to take his place next to Khaira.
"Can I tell you Khai?" Ask before you start telling Khaira.
Khaira nodded, confirming the question from her husband.
"When I was a kid, I had an appointment with a cute little girl. The girl who made me happy when I met and played with her. Do you remember my story when we were at the Old City Museum of Fatahillah? I've remembered the girl, Khai. After all this time, finally my childhood memory came again." Radit told his story for a moment.
"After you left, I decided to go home to Daddy and Mommy. At that time Mother showed a photo of an obsolete album, a boy and girl who played together with the background of Prambanan Temple. I just remembered it, after a long time. When I remember it, I feel both happy and sad. It's good, 'cause I found my little girl. And also sad, because I've hurt her."
Radit changed his seat slightly, his hand now holding Khaira's hands. "Airas... You're my little Aira yeah..."
Khaira was silent when Radit called her nickname as a child. 'Aira', the affectionate call from Radit when both were still both small and lived in Jogjakarta first.
Khaira's gaze laughed, "It's just an old story, Mas. Better forget that story. It's just a memory with small children who just feel comfortable to find a good and loving friend" said Khaira.
"Maybe to you it's just a childhood story, but being able to remember all of that means a lot to me. You loved me in childhood. My sweet and funny aira."
A smile rises on Radit's face, imagining how sweet, cute, and funny Khaira was as a child. Little Adek who always played with him, made memories together at tourist attractions in Jogjakarta, a small adek who always cried when they had to separate.
"Thus ... Learn to love me now Khai ... I'm not asking you to forget all my mistakes, but just forgive me and learn to love me. Because, I already love you, Khai. If you need time, I'll give it to you. I will always be by your side, you can get as much time as possible. If you can't accept me as your husband yet, accept me as your friend or brother. It's okay, I'll accept everything about you. The important thing is not to tell me to leave you. I can't, Khai." Radit said with great seriousness.
Khaira did not immediately agree, she was still weighing in her heart. Her love for her husband was still there, but the fear of being hurt was still in her heart. Yes, Khaira needs time to convince her own heart that Radit has changed.
"If only forgive, I will forgive. For God is also forgiving. I am only his servant, so sinful if I do not apologize to others, especially to my own husband. But to receive you, I need time. I am still afraid of being hurt and betrayed. My heart's not completely okay." Khaira said what she felt honestly.
Khaira's honesty was enough for Radit, the apology Khaira gave a little relief from his struggle. The man just needs to fight again, proving himself that he has changed completely, there is no other love in his heart. Because Khaira was the only owner of his heart, his regret for months made him realize that Khaira was the spouse whom God chose and sent to him. The soul mate that God chose from childhood, only the stubbornness of his heart made him forget and hurt the girl he loved as a child.
Khaira slightly glanced at Radit who was expressing her love feelings. Honestly Khaira was embarrassed to hear firsthand the love statement from her own husband. However, Khaira was as normal and as habitual as possible.
After that, Khaira unraveled her hand which was still in Radit's grasp. "Okay, yes, yes. Good luck again, good luck." Khaira paused for a moment. "It's noon, I'm going out to eat."
Radit saw a watch curled around his wrist. "It's past mealtime, yes we have bought food. I'm coming, yeah, I'm laper."
Khaira stood up taking the coat and her gloves. The girl walked ahead of Radit. Open the door to her apartment, then go downstairs to buy lunch. The two again walked down the streets of Adelphi Street which was quite quiet that afternoon.
"If I'm staying in your apartment, you need permission from the one who runs Khai's apartment?" tanyanya while walking on the side of Khaira.
"I don't know much, though. The culture here would be free, but we better permit Mas. To be safe, far from slander." Khaira's thoughtful response made Radit comment on the smile at the corner of his lips.
"Begin lunch, we direct permission to the owner yes. Oh yeah, what do you want for lunch?" ask Radit to Khaira.
"What would Mas Radit eat? I usually just want to. Or go to a pretty good place to eat from here, Western menu but. Want no?"
Radit was happy, Khaira had talked a lot and did not ketus anymore when talking to him. There was a coolness in his heart even Khaira had indeed forgiven him.
"Where to go?"
"Straight road just aja Mas, later there is a place to eat with the concept of pubs and cafes called Old Pint Pot. I eat there often." Khaira said as her hand pointed at the road in front of her.
Radit nodded at Khaira's story. "You ate Khai alone?" tanyakanya.
"It's often alone. If at the new campus deh eat together with the friends I met earlier Tina, Adam, and Mark. At most eat in the cafeteria if they're the same."
"From now on, I'll be your friend, Khai. I won't let you be alone."
"Hmm." she replied briefly.
"That's the only reply."
"Prove it. I need proof not promise."
Radit chuckled at Khaira's words. "Yes, I'll prove it..."