Sharing Love: Winning Without Love
Sorry, I Love U
"I miss you, Khaira...."
One of the first words that were spoken once Radit finally managed to embrace Khaira. While now it is Khaira's turn to freeze in a position that makes him uncomfortable, plus Radit's embrace is so tight.
"Ishh, my lady. Maen hugged me. Lepasin..." Khaira tried her hardest by pushing Radit's shoulder. But what power, Radit actually increasingly tightened his embrace.
"Just a few Khaira... I miss you so much."
Eventually Khaira allows Radit to embrace her first. In between his arms, Khaira felt her shoulders wet. "Is Radit crying? My clothes felt wet," he murmured inwardly.
"It's enough, it's enough." Khaira pushed back Radit's shoulder, and Radit finally let go of his embrace while wiping his tears.
"Diminum Mas, go cold" he said as he took a seat on Radit's side.
Finally Radit took the cup containing ginger tea, then drank it slowly. "As for Khai," he said slowly and then put the cup back on the table.
"Khaira, I'm here because I want to apologize to you, Khai..." Radit changed his seat slightly, now facing Khaira. "I know my sins are much the same as yours Khai, but I have left them all behind. I also split up with Felly. I'm here to atone for my sins, Khai. I'm sorry."
Khaira just lowered her head and sighed heavily. "So that's why you're sorry, Mom, after everything you've done to me. It's as easy as you say sorry after all these months of nothing." Then Khaira squeezed her hand, "After all, our relationship cannot be said as a household in itself. Our relationship is only limited to Ijab and there is Qoubul. The rest of us are strangers in this relationship."
This time Khaira ventured to say her uneg-uneg all this time in her heart.
"Better, now let's just end our household, Mas. This ark will not sail nor dock, because it lost its captain. This ark will only be tossed in the middle of the ocean, and maybe this ark will be destroyed because of storms and waves of water that come. Didn't I say for a long time, you can take me off Mas .. I won't mind. We can move on with each other's lives without hurting each other."
Radit shook his head, "No Khai, until whenever I don't want to take you off. I'm still your husband, Khai."
Khaira smiled bitterly as Radit mentioned the word husband. "His husband? Not even doing your duty as a husband. The husband who asked me without love? The husband who made me suffer with his speech and behavior? Husband who hasn't told me so many months? Is that a mas?"
"I was wrong, Khai. I'm that fucking guy. But this jerk guy wants to come all the way here to apologize, fix everything" Radit said in a soft voice, there were many regrets in each word.
"I admit I'm guilty of you, too, Mom. Because I'm being too indifferent to you. But it's all because you started it. You rejected me after we got married. You were making out with another woman in front of my eyes. At least I have a heart too, but you do everything as if you don't use your heart. Have you ever thought that all of that hurt me? My silence and my indifference are my way of surviving, but when you get out of that house, who else am I staying in there for?"
"I'm sorry...." That's all Radit can say. Yes, other than an apology there was nothing he could say. All of Khaira's words were facts, while Radit could not defend himself.
"Sorry is easy, Mom. If I were in your position and did all that would you forgive me?" Now Khaira's eyes are teary. Never imagined she would talk at this length with her husband.
"Sorry Khai.... I'm guilty of you."
"In the law of marriage if the husband and wife neglect to carry out their duties and obligations, each can make a lawsuit to the court. So..."
"Don't keep talking, Khai. I know what you're going to talk about but first, listen to me Khai ... God hates divorce, Khai. On that basis, do not end the relationship between us. I'll show you, if I've changed Khai ... I came here with my heartfelt feelings. Dan, I love you. I love you, Khaira... I can't live without you."
Khaira smiled bitterly, "Love you say Mas? Love will not hurt. Love will not hang a person without news for a long time. Love is protective, Love is sacrifice. And, what kind of love are you doing to me?"
"I did hurt you at first, Khai. As time passed, I felt a feeling grow in my heart for you. The peak was when I found out about your departure, I was hurt, I was claustrophobic, but that's when I realized that I love you, Khai..."
Khaira smiled bitterly, "Love Mas? Hasn't it been since I asked you said you'd never love me, because there's another owner of your heart. So now you come and say love to me? Hm. Bizarrely. Can't be digested by my logic, Mommy."
Radit rubbed his face rough. "I've come to my decision, Khai ... I'll stay here with you, I'll prove that I've changed, Khai. I have also confessed my guilt to our Father and Mother. He gave me one chance, Khai. So, can you give me one chance as well?"
"Whatever you are, I'm tired. I'm going to bed. Mas Radit when it is finished can go home," said Khaira as if to expel her husband.
"No. I'll spend the night here. I'm your husband, Khai. Don't throw me out, I also have the right to stay by your side."
Khaira stood up from the sofa in front of the television. He chose to go to the bathroom, wash his face, and brush his teeth. After that, he went up to his bed and turned off the lights. Only the sleeping lights next to the nightstand were lit.
Radit was still sitting on the sofa. The man could only sigh with an eye that could not escape to observe Khaira.
"Have you slept, Khai?" ask from his seat.
"What?" ask Khaira ketus.
"No papa. Khai...? Where do I sleep?"
The question that made Khaira even more upset.
"there. Not macem-macem. Watch out!"
Radit shuddered in horror at Khaira's threat.
"Khaira's...." Radit called out his wife's name again, as Khaira was about to close her eyes.
"What else anyway. Very nice."
"I Love U, Khaira..."