The Love of Habib
29.1
...كَتَبَ اللهُ مَقَادِيْرُ الخَلاَئِقِ قَبْلَ أَنْ يَخْلُقَ السَّمَوَاتِ وَالأَرْضَ بِخَمْسِيْنَ أَلْفَ سَنَةٍ...
...“God has recorded the destiny of every being before 50,000 years before the creation of heaven and earth.” ...
...(.(.HR. Muslim no. 2653, from ‘Abdullah bin ‘Amr bin Al-‘Ash)...
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At half-time 4am, I woke up on time according to my biological sleep clock during my stay at the boarding school. Staying there with all the strict rules made me start getting used to everything. It's only half-four but the people downstairs are starting to move. I don't know what they're doing out there.
After waking up my two best friends, Dira and Gisel, we immediately cleaned ourselves in the bathroom. Next we pray tahajud together and read the Qur'an while waiting for the dawn prayer time to come. Time after time passed, my heart was unceasingly beating with nervousness. No more counting the days, but counting the hours. It'll be a few hours before me and brother Khalid get together. Oh my God, how nervous I feel.
We are already halal because brother Khalid has legalized me 5 years ago. But when I was a kid, I knew nothing and felt nothing. So it's only natural that I'm so nervous now even though this is our second marriage.
"Dawning sunnah prayer before dawn prayer." When the dawn of Azan is finished reverberating, I invite them both to pray dawn or pray sunnah two raka'at before dawn.
“Two raka'at dawn (sunnah qobliyah shabuh prayer) better than the world and its contents.” (CHR. Muslims no. 725).
Ustad in the boarding school always emphasized this hadith before starting prayer and said how important this prayer is, so important we are all asked to never miss it. So, until this second the habit of dawn prayer I still maintain. I don't know, this is a sunnah prayer that was never abandoned by the Prophet Muhammad so good, so I tried to keep it.
I was reminded again that I was nervous.
Trying not to think too much about it, the three of us then prayed at dawn and then just prayed at dawn. After the dawn prayer, we did not have time to read long remembrance because the door of my room was knocked.
"Have you finished praying?" The one who came was Rumi's aunt with some women behind her. Each of them brought a box that was used to decorate me today.
"Already, bi. Just got." I said nervously.
"Don't be nervous. Come on, calm yourself. Today is an important day in your life. So, face it all with a smile because you're about to start a new chapter in life." Aunt Rumi reached into my head and rubbed it.
My eyes ached hearing Aunt Rumi's advice. A new sheet, O God, I have finally arrived at this point. I smiled shyly at her, reading the basmallah in my heart and nodding my head in preparation.
"I'm ready, aunt."
I was then carried in front of a mirror by several women. They worked fast and painstakingly while inviting me to chat so that the nervousness in my heart was not too unsettling. While Rumi's aunt went with Dira and Gisel to the next room. They will be with other people who enliven my important day with brother Khalid.