The Love of Habib
Chapters 11.6
Mirisnya, Aish turned to the side to see Gisel who was struggling awake and Dira who had long entered the dream world.
Cheques, cheques,
He shook his head helplessly. In fact, people who previously wanted to stay up at the mosque were the first to enter the dream world. Aish is at a loss for words seeing how easily Dira sleeps in a foreign place.
"Gis, you sleep nothing. Not maxing yourself." Aish said funny.
Gisel shook his head inducing sleepiness. His eyelids were already heavy wanting to fall asleep immediately but he tried hard to stay awake because he had promised to accompany Aish chatting.
"No, he said he would stay up late..."
Aish smiled amusedly. This friend of his was already very sleepy but still forced himself to stay awake.
"Udah, you're sleeping. It's also 1pm and I'm getting sleepy. It's not funny, are we talking together while the eyes are all heavy?" Aish is not sleepy at all.
He was still conscious and there were no signs of sleepiness. Even the cold of the night was unable to seduce him to quickly enter the tantalizing dreamland.
"No..." But Gisel actually fell asleep.
Aish shook her head helplessly. He then shifted his body and helped Gisel fix the gloves on his hands.
Chilly.
Aish let out a long breath. He looked left and right, quiet and dark. The mosque did not turn on the lights on the second floor so Aish could only see the surrounding shelves with the light of the moonlight.
Sighing bored, he stood up from his seat and walked closer to the window of the mosque. After walking some distance away from her two best friends, Aish then chose a comfortable seat beside the bookshelves.
Pensively immersed in silence, Aish's face was slowly moistened by tears. Aish cried in silence, noiseless or grimacing like the one who tormented his heart. Although her heart is not good, it is a girl who is not crybaby. Look, just cry he doesn't make a sound.
"Ma, Aish is now 18 years old. Aish has grown up and is about to graduate." There was a sweet smile that began to form on his wet face,"Eh.but Aish did not know would be graduated the same cottage or not, because Aish did not know anything about the same lesson here hehehe..." He chuckled at his own stupidity while attending school here.
At school, he and his two friends knew nothing but were still patiently taught by ustazas. Even the other classmates were very helpful to the three of them, they generously offered help and shared knowledge with Aish and his two best friends, although well, Aish was not able to understand many things.
"Tomorrow is the 16th year Mama went to leave Aish and all this time Aish never once forgot Mama. Usually Aish will try to visit Mama's house, but for this year maybe Aish can not do it because Mama knows Aish is now in the boarding house." Sighing deeply, slowly her sweet smile began to disappear along with the tears on her face that had returned overflowing.
"Mama... Aish can you tell me a little bit about Mama? Can, dad?" Ask someone who is not on her side.
"From small... Aish is sometimes jealous of other children. Why well, other children can have complete parents while Aish does not. Uh, Aish also has Mommy and Dad at home, but why doesn't Aish understand what the other kids are feeling. At that time Aish did not know that Mother was the person who hurt Mama. Until finally Aish understood, understood that Aish had only one father after Mama left. But Ma... Aish really feels empty with Dad. Aish often takes care of other children when they are together with their own father, their interaction is very good and harmonious. As they say, Dad is the best man in the world. But why doesn't Aish feel the same way, Ma?" Smiling slicedly, her cold, lightly trembling hands began to wipe away the melted tears on her wet face.
"For the first time Aish is honest with Mama that Aish has often felt alone in this world. Aish is lonely and Aish feels abandoned by Dad. In my eyes, Aira is the best child. Ma, why would Dad do that to Aish? Is it because Aish was born to Mama? Or because Aish's a bad boy, huh, Ma? Aish didn't know the answer until now. Aish's heart always hurts to think about it. Aish and Aira are both Dad's children, but why is the treatment we get different? Dad and everyone loved Aira, but Aish didn't. Though Aish also wanted to be hugged, rubbed his head, celebrated his birthday. Aish is going to, Ma. Aish wanted to but unfortunately never had a chance. Aish..jealous, Ma. Aish is jealous of the kids out there who live happily with her parents whereas Aish is not and Aish is even more jealous of Aira for always being treated special by Dad. Ma's... Mama, if Allah had I chosen to be born in which family in the world, could Aish not have been born in another family, Ma? Exhausted... Aish isn't strong, Ma." His heart was very sick, as if it was being squeezed by an invisible big hand.
It feels very uncomfortable. Even breathing is hard. Aish was overwhelmed by controlling her own body's reactions.
"It hurts, Ma. Aish is not strong..." Issue pain.
All these years he was trapped in a sense of jealousy wrapped in an indifferent mask, Aish was really tormented. He also wants to be happy, he thought. He also wanted to feel how warm an embrace of the people around him was. But he can't do it because for all of them, Aish is a parasite in that family. Aish is a pest that must be removed from their lives.
"Aish evil well, Ma? Yes Aish is evil. Aish didn't want to be born to Mama. Mom is also bad Sam Aish. Why don't you take Aish out of this world? Why is Mama Aish fighting alone here? Know not Ma... Aish has been injured repeatedly without medication... Aish's sick, Ma." Complain's hurt.
If only Mama took him away, then maybe he would not be too sick and injured continuously. Then maybe he will not be jealous because everyone ignored...
It won't hurt this much.
But Mama actually went alone, selfishly thought Aish hurt.