Finding You, Again
Eluira 10 - Enough of It

"Do you have to wear those shoes?" zeno asked, holding a smile.

When he looked around for the umpteenth time, he saw me fix the foot position.

"Charlie's death stare almost kill me, when I said I'll wear flat shoes with this dress" I replied, which immediately made her laugh.

"I'm still lucky, for now he gives me wedges shoes, I think he still wants me to be able to walk when I get home again later" I added with a frown.

"You're cute" Zeno said as he looked at me gently as his laughter subsided.

That look instantly made my heart jump back actively. I really hope this stops, so that I can refuse her invitation to date confidently and calmly

But of course not, because this is where I am. Sitting alone with Zeno in his car.

For our 5th date, Zeno took me to a soft opening restaurant owned by one of his friends. Therefore, I wear a long cocktail dress in silver gray, complete with high shoes. Zeno wears a neat suit, with no mustache today.

Zeno said his friend would laugh to death if he saw him wearing the mustache.

And he said again, because only invited guests, there will be no one to bother - take a photo for the magazine, or ask for a signature on him for example-we\, for example\, so he doesn't have to wear any disguises tonight.

I can still feel his eyes on me. "Eyes on the road please" I said as I turned to her.

"Yes.my princess" she said with an exaggerated tone of respect and laughed. I smile too.

He's fun, nice and handsome. What else are you looking for Lui?

I repeated the sentence in my heart like a mantra, so that the disturbing emotions I used to feel were destroyed. It made me want to stop the car and turn around. But the unsettled heartbeat made me want to stay and enjoy tonight until it was over.

Jovi's right, I have one twisted mind....

The restaurant was amazingly luxurious, on the ceiling, no matter how many chandeliers were hanging, complete with a stage, piano, and also a large dance floor.

Zeno took me - - holding me more precisely - walking following one of the servants who showed us the table. The atmosphere in the restaurant was not too crowded\, only a few tables had been filled.

After sitting down and observing the surroundings, Zeno suddenly frowned as he gazed towards one of the tables that had been filled. "I can't believe he invited her too" he sighed in annoyance.

I followed Zeno's gaze and looked at the table that had been filled.

"Do you know them?" my many. Zeno looked at me in disbelief, then smiled wryly. "You never fail to surprise me Lui"

"Yes, I know them, ah no. but him, just a man. I shot with him a few times. But he's a real jerk!! I didn't expect Nyad to invite him either"

Nyad is the owner of this restaurant as well as Zeno's friend, he introduced her to me, when Nyad came to greet us at the door.

"But he is quite famous and has many connections, a good promotional move for a new place to operate" he said again, in an understandable tone.

"He's not famous, I don't even know him!" my sergeant was a bit upset, the man continued to give a perverted look at the woman waitress who was passing by, even though the woman who became his partner looked amazingly beautiful.

Zeno let out a loud laugh, making some of the guests around us turn their heads. I just smiled broadly as I put my index finger in my mouth, gesturing for him to lower his volume.

"If the benchmark used is you, then I feel sorry for everyone here, you don't know any of them, do you? Meaning they are all not famous" While still chuckling softly, Zeno added.

I can only agree to it in my laughter. I did not know any of the guests who were present at the time.

And of course tonight's show is perfect. His music, his food, his service, all impeccable.

"I think this restaurant will be a success" I said, as we walked back from the dance floor.

"I think so too" said Zeno, scooping up the dessert that had been provided at our table.

"It's also perfect." I said with a satisfied sigh, the desert with a beautiful order was really delicious.

The coffee chocolate-flavored cake was very soft, almost melted when it touched my tongue, and not too sweet, because the excessive sweetness would sometimes make the cake taste like this boring.

The soft music coming from the twang of the piano sounded, I glanced towards the stage. There's someone playing the piano there, it's melodious. The clanking of the piano spread a sentimental atmosphere throughout the restaurant.

I tried to enjoy the soft clang of the piano, hoping that the sound would calm my turbulent mind.

But I was wrong about this. Because the twang makes me more nervous.

"You like the taste of chocolate and coffee" Zeno said as he looked at me.

"You know what?" I looked at him in wonder.

I'm pretty sure I never told her anything about this.

"Of course!!" Zeno replied with a amused smile. "You always order a drink, or any cake with that flavor" he added.

"really?" I didn't realize I had done it.

"I didn't know you'd notice or remember" I said shyly, I didn't dare look forward. I know he's still looking at me like that.

"Of course I noticed, that's why you are" he said gently, his hand raised to the table then clasping my free left hand without a spoon.

He's nice Lui, he's so considerate of you...

I returned to chanting to prevent myself from shaking his hand.

That piano clink now really affected me for real.

Not only did it make me uneasy, every twinge I heard seemed to slice my heart with an invisible knife, what else was this feeling?

I don't get it.

The spell that I raped over and over again in that heart, could no longer stem the uneasiness that continued to erode.

Suddenly Zeno tightened his hand, and,

"Lui, can I expect something more from our relationship?"

Nay! I cried in my heart.

I may be an amateur in a relationship, but I know very well what direction Zeno will take in this conversation. And I don't want to hear the rest.

"I really enjoyed every moment we spent together. I didn't really expect much the first time I asked you out. But as always, you're always full of surprises"

"Do you want to be mine Eluira? Because I really want us to spend more time together"

I could feel the blood flow to my face stop, because I suddenly felt cold.

Zeno said all of that softly, but his words turned out to be able to break down the wall of self-defense that I had been building.

The guilt drowns my mind.

Oh. please just answer yes, I groaned in my heart.

You're always happy with her. What else do you want? I plead with my whole heart.

But my mouth seemed not to hear it, because the next second that came out of it was a painful sobbing sound voicing my own pain.

I know very well what choices I will make after this. And I don't like it at all. My heart felt this was the right choice. But I don't like it, not one bit.

"Lui.. What was? you're so pale" Zeno's eyes widened from seeing me sobbing harder. She must have not expected, if her declaration of love would be greeted by languishing cries.

"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry Zeno, I can't" I said heavily between sobs.

I'll hurt her, I'll put out the light from those charming green eyes.

I also know that a part of my heart that wants it, will hurt by this rejection.

But I could no longer ignore the anxiety and guilt that gnawed at me, day after day when I was with him.

"I have to go"

I got up and with the rest of my eyes closed in tears, I tried to find the exit of the restaurant.

"I'll drive you" Zeno said, his voice a bit hoarse, filled with emotion.

God, I really hurt him.

From his voice alone I could guess how deep the wound I had inflicted there was. I did not dare to look at his face, because it would definitely be worse.

"No, I'm going to take a cab" I said as I grabbed my small carry-on bag tonight, successfully avoiding Zeno's hand trying to prevent me.

"Lui, let me drive you" Zeno said a little loudly, as I had run away from the table where we were eating.

And thank goodness I ran in the right direction, for not long, I was already on the side of the road. I was lucky, because there was a taxi passing by. Without much consideration I immediately went up.

My eyes are really blurred now. Tears, I could no longer bear, they had flooded my pale cheeks profusely.

I'm so guilty of this.

I gave him every sign that I was enjoying our time together. But then I stepped on his feelings mercilessly. I was really mean to him. I should have obeyed the words of Jovi, who told me to reject her in advance.

But I enjoyed all his attention for me, I didn't want to lose any of it.

You're selfish Lui!! I reproach myself in my heart.

Please stop crying, my heart. You can't pass out in a taxi, Lui.

My little remaining common sense is trying to remind me.

I wiped away the tears and mentioned the address of Jovi's apartment as a destination. I can't go home like this. Charlie's gonna freak out.

I'll go home after I calm down.

Jovi opened the door with a dumbfounded face, seeing my very chaotic state.

No matter what, I slammed into his arms and cried. Crying and roaring loudly.

I let go of all the feelings that have plagued my heart over the past few months. I always held back any cries and emotions that came about because of my foggy and unstable memories.

But now no, I let it flow out. One wave of emotions began to hit me.

That pain, that,

That stuff, though,

Silence it,

That restless, that,

That's sad, that's,

Miss it, though,

Jovi did not ask. He just took me to the sofa and let me cry freely on his thighs.

But who am I fooling? My head will not be able to withstand this huge emotional attack.

\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~

I opened my eyes because of the light that pierced my eyelids.

The blue dream catcher hanging from the ceiling was the first thing I saw. This is Jovi's room. I turned my head to the side and saw Jovi lying on his side sleeping next to me.

I think I fainted all night, the morning sun breaking through Jovi's window curtain.

Shit!. I must have made Oscar anxious, not to mention Charlie, he would have killed me for sure.

My consciousness slowly returned, making all the consequences of my actions last night begin to be imagined.

Zeno!!.....Ughhh. Guilt filled my empty stomach now.

How great Lui!!! In just a few hours you have been able to make everyone around you difficult and worried.

Then the corner of my eye caught a sleeping figure covered on the sofa in front of Jovi's TV.

Jovi Apartment, does not have any bulkhead except, for the kitchen and bathroom, making me freely able to see all the contents.

I recognized the honey-blonde hair poking out from under the blanket.

Yeah, I can feel like there's gonna be a storm of rage coming in a little while. I've had Oscar sleep on Jovi's couch all night.

After feeling my strength amassed 100%, I got up and tried to descend slowly to head to the bathroom.

Failed. Because of the movement of the bed as I descended, Jovi opened his eyes.

Seeing him about to make a sound, I gave him a silent gesture with my finger, and pointed towards Oscar, who had not been distracted. Jovi nodded slowly and went back to lying down while looking at me with questioning eyes.

I pointed to the bathroom and then walked slowly so as not to make a sound.

After doing what I needed, I opened the bathroom door carefully. I want to keep out the storm for a little longer.

"You're fine" Oscar's heavy voice from just waking up made me jump. He had been sitting on the sofa where he was sleeping while looking intently at me.

Hmmm.

"I'm fine" I replied quietly as I walked towards Oscar's bed sofa,

I threw my ass on the floor, sitting right in front of him hugging my knee. To accept my fate

For a few minutes, Oscar just looked at me without a sound. The gripping silence. But I saw a hint of worry in his angry eyes.

Well, I hope there won't be a big storm. Maybe it was just rain with lightning.

Jovi approached while carrying 3 very fragrant smelling coffees on the tray. I threw a blaming look at him. He shouldn't have to report to Oscar.

"Don't look at me like that" Jovi looked at me while shaking his hand. "You know I have to do it, I'm not good at injecting the drug yet. I don't want to make your situation any worse Lui"

"You can't blame Jovi. What do you think will happen if he doesn't call me?" Oscar's heavy voice laden with rage left me beaming.

"You can't do it Lui. You ran away from Zeno crying??" rhetorical question.

"You can faint anywhere!! Luckily Zeno told me what happened. I was about to flip through the whole town looking for you, when Jovi finally called me, and said you passed out at his house"

He shoots a lot of other scolding before finally stopping and drinking the coffee that Jovi brought. I would also be thirsty if I said that much without stopping.

"You can go home with Zeno at that time" he added, not satisfied.

"Don't blame Lui for that-Mr. Delmora" said Jovi suddenly with a slight stupor.

And I think that sounds funny. He wanted to yell at Oscar to stop his anger at me, but still wanted to sound polite.

"It would be cruel for both of them, and I think the result would be the same, Lui would still faint" he said. He knew he was too brave.

"But at least he'll be with people we know Jovi" Oscar said more slowly.

Oscar's anger, left behind only as a speckle. The lightning has passed.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking clearly at the time. I just want to get out of there immediately" I said softly.

I'm really sorry, I can imagine how frantic Oscar and Charlie were looking for me. Guilt is heavy on my heart.

Oscar let out a long sigh and got up from his seat then stepped up to me. I pulled out my hand so I could stand up and hold me.

I hugged her warmly back, hoping that the hug let her know that I was really sorry.

He cupped both hands on my face after taking off his embrace. "Don't act like this again Lui, I beg you!" His blue eyes looked at me sharply.

I nodded in earnest. I myself never dreamed that I would experience such an event last night, let alone to repeat it, it was almost impossible.

Jovi broke the conversation between me and Oscar. Jovi looked at the smartphone in his hand in horror, while the other hand covered his mouth.

"What's wrong?" I ask, Jovi does like to be dramatic sometimes.

Not answering, Jovi grabbed the TV remote and turned it on. After moving some channels, he finally stopped on the channel that aired infotainment.

"....I don't believe this. When I saw the news on the internet, I immediately contacted some of my friends to know that I was not dreaming, Zenobia Terence was with a girl!!"

The host of the show uttered it in a hysterical tone.

And that slide on the TV made me stop for a moment.

That picture is of me and Zeno, having dinner at the restaurant last night. Not to mention the other photos showed me as I ran out.

My face was a bit fuzzy, but anyone would know it was me, because kindly the host of the show gave me complete information about who I was.

They added that we met for the first time at a charity party a few months ago. Accuracy that doesn't belong in place really sucks.

Multilingual --Oscar master almost eight languages perfectly, I can only recognize 3 words from the meaning - ejected from Oscar's mouth when I saw the show.

The vibration of Oscar's cell phone lying on the table caught our attention. Oscar snatched it right away before I could read the caller Id that appeared.

"Yes?" he answered harshly, he paused for a moment listening to the caller's words.

"You-not-you-can-" a furious speech ejected from Oscar's mouth was severed by the words of his interlocutor.

Oscar then disconnects the phone with a bit of roughness. Now he ruffled his hair in annoyance.

"What do we do now? Zeno said no one would dare to take a picture last night, because everyone present is an invited guest" I said as I stared back at the nanar, the TV screen that had been turned off by Jovi.

"You should have learned Lui, there is no need to be ordinary and poor to do despicable deeds, rich and respected people can also. Sometimes it's even worse than just contempt" Oscar said with a fed-up face.

The point is, even if all the guests there are VIP invitations, there is still a chance that they will leak what they see there. That's how cheap friendship is in the celebrity world.

It's disgusting!

"I have to go somewhere, I'm going to call Alex to pick you up here" he said hurriedly picking up his long coat hanging behind the entrance.

"Thank you for everything Jovi" Oscar threw a charming smile as he walked out the door, which made Jovi blush so quickly that he could only respond with a nod.

Jovi is only used to Oscar playing a stiff boss, Oscar's friendly demeanor will obviously surprise him.

"This is my reply for using Zeno, humiliated globally" I said resignedly to Jovi.

"Don't be stupid!!, you don't have to be ashamed of the news, you just seem to be having dinner with him. Good thing you haven't cried in that picture"

"If you are caught on camera crying, it could be that the headlines will read 'the daughter of a conglomerate has been rejected by Zenobia' ,Gossip is indeed rubbish" Jovi added, in a cruel tone.