Finding You, Again
David 11 - Funeral's

I stood up while looking blankly at the gaping 6 x 5 meter hole in front of me.

The words of the escort spoken by Elder Victor - he was the oldest Elder in this pack, 176 years old and also my great-grandfather - flashed just like that in ear\, he said\, I left no trace in my brain.

I turned my gaze and saw Myra-Mom, I mean Mom ck..-in front of me, she also lowered her head.

No sound came out of him. But her wet cheeks, telling her that tears haven't stopped flowing since.

If I don't remember that the Elders have already agreed to Uncle Rex's proposal to delay my coronation, I will strangle Elder Victor's neck, in order to stop.

Long words of adoration about my father, will not make Myra-I give up-stop crying.

Myra's health has not fully recovered, there is no need to burden her with a long protocol. This show should be cut short.

After 20 minutes had passed, Elder Victor finally finished his speech. He stepped aside and stood next to Uncle Rex.

Not long ago the sound of warrior howls that were in the form of wolves split the air. As a sign the funeral is about to begin.

I went from where I stood, then walked upright down the black cobbled path, to where my father's body lay. The building is made of red wood located at the eastern end of the cemetery.

The cemetery complex has an area of about 50 hectares and the Alpha cemetery area is located almost in the middle of the complex.

I give my heartfelt compliments to anyone who takes care of this complex. The scenery here, will make the landscaper of the garden of Versailles in France to be envious.

The flowering season is almost past, but the view to autumn still amazes me. Some trees, already starting to turn red, perfectly frame this burial complex.

El and Roan were right behind me. They walk in silence. It's a strange thing. They usually never stop arguing.

Several warriors, Uncle Rex and Elder Victor, were also included in the entourage. The warrior will carry my father's body.

Arriving in front of the brown door, I was silent for a moment.

This is the first time I've seen my father's body.

Taking a deep breath, I pushed the door to the side to open. Then I stepped inside, only to be followed by Roan and El.

The form I hoped was unreal, caught by my eyes.

A wolf as black as night, lying on a large bed in the middle of the room.

Its thick fur moved slowly due to the wind blowing from the door. The scent of maple and vanilla smelled all around the stiffened body.

My dad smells like this pack of maple and rain, with a little Myra mix, which is soft vanilla.

The usual aroma calmed the anxiety when I was a child.

If the nightmare comes, dad will come and wait until I can sleep quietly. She didn't go into the room or get close to the bed, but I could smell her from behind the door. And that was enough to put me in peace and fall asleep again.

But now the scent was broken, as it mixed with the smell of the pungent medicines used to preserve his body.

My eyes began to blur shut with tears.

I stepped closer to the table and buried my ten fingers in the soft fur of his body. The fur is still as smooth as I remember it.

I touched the black feather for the first time, when I was 5 years old. Dad showed me his wolf form, so I would stop crying over my mother-Zhena Juno's departure.

Dad allowed me to ride on his back, then he took me running around the manor.

At that time, I grasped the black feather very tightly, between fear and enthusiasm. But when I buried my face in that black feather, my fear was gone. I recognized the scent emanating from him.

It was that scent that was always with me, it was that scent that always excited me when I cried out in pain.

My throat was blocked by tears that were as strong as I could bear so as not to drip. Then I stepped closer to his head.

A terrible anger stung me, when I saw the wound that was forcefully closed with stitches, the wound was on the chest.

According to Uncle Rex, the bastard vampire had plucked out the heart of the father when they fought. Beheading a werewolf in the form of a wolf was a very difficult job.

Abominable and disgusting creature!! I promised to rip out his heart and burn it until it was not left.

I stroked the cold forehead at the end of my finger. The forehead used to rub my forehead gently.

Werewolf in the form of a wolf, showing his affection by touching each other's forehead.

And I still remember how happy and proud I was, when she touched it to my little forehead, for the first time.

I was overjoyed, because I was finally able to run with him as a wolf.

All these memories make me feel more and more *****.

Of course dad loves me. I have no right to hate him.

Even after I left, she did not lose her hope in me. He took care of me and supported me.

He gave me the freedom I wanted for 8 years. It's almost impossible for a Scion to happen, because of the weight of the responsibility I'll carry in the future.

I knelt down, and gently pressed my forehead against her icy forehead, hoping that I could hear another soft snoring sound from her.

But that hope is only met with silence. There will be no sound heard anymore.

Tears finally flowed warmly on my cheeks, without my being able to prevent it.

The feeling of emptiness because of the silence, as if it makes me realize that all this is reality.

I won't be able to hear her howling anymore, when she calls me home. I also won't be able to smell the sweet scent of maple and vanilla anymore.

All of that will disappear.

"I'm sorry!! Dad, I'm sorry I was so stupid. I should have trusted you more. I'm sorry, who was always stubborn against all your desires. Sorry for not being able to take care of you all this time. I'll make up for it all" I whispered softly.

I don't care anymore, with tears of regret and sadness, that flowed even more profusely.

"I'll take care of Myra, I'll make her happy. I know how deeply you love her. Forgive me, who was also late to know all this" I groaned more slowly.

I know this won't be useful. You will never know how I regret everything I did. And I will never know whether he will forgive all my foolish deeds.

The realization that I could only live my life in a pit of regret without being able to hear the word forgive from his mouth, hit my heart hard and hurt.

My tears spilled over his black hair. I clutched the feather tightly, with the empty hope that he would growl, as a sign that he was alive.

"I'm really sorry, Dad" I whispered.

"You are an amazing father. I'm so proud to be your son, then, now and then"

I hugged my father's neck tightly for the last time.

I wiped the tears with the long black coat sleeves that I was wearing, then got up from a kneeling position, and looked at the body once more intently.

I'm sorry-----

I sat down for the last time, and looked at that stiff body. It is foolishness, if at this point, I still hope, the series of events these few days are just a dream. A nightmare that will go away when I open my eyes.

But I did. Slowly, I felt my hope wither, because when I opened my eyes, my father was still lying in silence.

Roan's slow voice made me realize that this is all real. Roan won't cry easily.

This is a reality that I have to accept, and I have to live it.

I will atone for all this guilt by being what my father wanted me to be. I will be the best Alpha for Blackmoon, and treat Myra as she should be.

I'll fix all the stupid mistakes I've made over the last eight years.

I promise you, my resolve is in my heart. I hope you heard it.

,I raised my hand and combed my hair with my fingers, trying to tidy it up. I can't lead this corpse with a face full of tears.

After feeling better, I turned to look at Roan and El.

Roan lowered his head, hiding a cry.

As for El, he bravely kept looking forward, even though I could see the remains of tears on that face. I walked up to the two of them, then hugged them together.

"Thank you" I said sincerely.

They cried for me and my father, and they have accompanied me under all circumstances. I will always feel lucky to have friends like them.

Roan and El nodded in unison. "Anytime brother, you can ask anything from me" El replied with a faint smile and a hoarse voice due to emotion.

He also returned my embrace by patting me gently on the back. Roan could not make a sound, he just nodded small.

"Come in" I said to the closed door.

Elder Victor took out a long fold of cloth stored in the carved box of the pack emblem, then summoned the warrior who was still outside to enter. He handed the cloth over to one of the warriors, who was immediately scattered throughout the father's body.

The black cloth which also decorated the picture of the symbol of the pack in the middle, perfectly closed the body of the father. The eight warriors then spread out taking positions, each four on each side. Prepare to lift the body.

The top of the bed can be removed into a stretcher, so the body can be lifted easily.

Elder Victor took the key from his pocket, then stepped towards the right side of the wall. His hand touched the softness of one of the wooden slats on the wall.

The wooden bar shifted and showed an iron box with numbers and keyholes, a safe.

He then closed our eyes with his body. Not long after, he turned around with a hand that was already holding the carved box in a respectful manner. Almost similar to the wooden box where the black cloth was, but the carvings were much more beautiful and complicated.

He stepped towards me slowly, as if not wanting to disturb anything that was in the box in his hand.

"This is Alpha blood, I know your coronation is delayed, but I'll still hand it over now, save it!" elder Victor said as he looked at me deeply.

Alpha blood will be used in the new Alpha coronation ceremony. If the old Alpha is still alive, it will be taken directly by carving a knife in hand.

But just in case the previous Alpha dies, then at the coronation, the new Alpha is obliged to keep his blood.

In addition to the purposes of the next Alpha coronation, also as a reminder that power will not be eternal.

There was a faint smell of maple and vanilla from the box. I accepted it and nodded in understanding. I held the box with both hands, in front of my chest.

I would lead the retinue of the bodyguards back to where my father would be buried, so I stepped out first, then stood straight not far from the entrance, and waited for the entourage to prepare.

Not long after, El whispered from behind me, "They're ready". He was standing there with Roan.

I stepped towards the gravel path and waited for them to come out. A moment later, Elder Victor and Uncle Rex came out, followed by a stretcher covered in black cloth.

I nodded, then turned around and stepped wide leaving the building. The sound of pebbles crashing behind me, signaled they started following my steps.

As my entourage drew closer to the burial ground, a new scene greeted me.

Hundreds of the inhabitants of this pack all stood not far from the hole where my father was buried, some lined up on the path I was about to cross.

Just Myra and a few Elders were standing there, now almost the entire cemetery was filled with werewolves.

A large number of transformed warriors were seen walking back and forth, keeping their distance from being too close and interrupting the funeral process.

I turned to Uncle Rex for a moment with a questioning look, but he looked back at me equally puzzled. Elder Victor was already visibly angry, as their existence was against the rules.

Pack residents may attend Alpha's funeral, but only outside the complex, according to tradition.

But now they filled the cemetery area. I could feel their eyes fixed on me as the distance got closer.

I heard their whispers calling the name of the father, whispers mixed with sobs. The closer I get, the more whispers I hear.

Not long after, sweet smelling petals rained down on me. Standing residents lined the side of the trail, sprinkled flowers from the small baskets they carried into the air.

Rain of colorful flower petals, accompanying father's corpse for the rest of the journey. The goodbye lamb also continued to be seen, along with a sad cry.

Now not only the whisperings of my father's name that I heard, but also the thanks and some of them that were addressed to me, contained words of comfort.

They're your people Dad!. They want to be present and witness for themselves the final moments of their Alpha. And after this, I'll take care of them for you.

A feeling of heat spread across my face, tears regained their senses, blocking the view. Pride and pride flowed through my body with warmth. My father was an amazing Alpha.

I took a deep breath to hold it. I will not show my tears in front of them.

The long howl of the warrior wolf greeted my father's corpse at the edge of the hole.

Myra who could no longer endure the sadness, became a daze. I grabbed him, before he fell.

I handed the box containing Alpha blood to El, then stood firmly next to Myra and kept her standing.

I don't remember much about the procession after that. Most of it contained farewell speeches from the Elders. While Myra was endlessly crying next to me.

I wanted to cheer him up, but awkwardness overcame everything.

The ceremony ended with the laying of a white stone marker on the grave of my father, by me and Myra.

An hour later, the complex was deserted. A white stone with the engraving of my father's name, poked on the black soil that was still wet. It's just me, El, Roan, Myra and Uncle Rex who are still there.

Myra squatted beside the mound, and still groaned with her hands clasping the wet ground.

I could only look at him with a heart twisted with pain. That sadness, I might not be able to bear it, if I were in his position.

I then crouched down next to her, then grabbed onto that fragile body.

For a moment his body stiffened in shock, but then his hand hugged me tightly back.

She buried her face in my chest, and somehow her crying grew louder. I heard footsteps moving away. Roan, El and Uncle Rex left us alone.

I tightened my arms, and rubbed the black-haired head while pleading with my heart to stop crying.

I don't know how long we were in that position, when I looked up, it turned out that the sky had started to turn red from dusk.

Myra's movements began to diminish. But the tears that flowed down her cheeks, as if they did not stop. The front of my coat is soaked with it.

Now I feel really an idiot. What possessed my brain, so that I could hate this fragile creature?

"Ma..I'm sorry" I said rather flatly.

Myra flinched and looked at me in wonder. The tears that filled those brownish-yellow eyes momentarily stopped, the eyes twitched looking at me asking for an explanation.

But after he understood what I meant, the water flowed back. Myra shook her head loudly without a sound. I'm not sure she's capable of making a sound after shedding that many tears.

"No. You don't have to apologize, it's all my fault!!" Finally Myra made a soft voice while wiping the tears on her cheeks, with a white handkerchief that had also been soaked.

How could?

I was the one who had been rude to him, but it was also his fault? What kind of mind is this?

But I won't question it. Anyone can think strangely after experiencing such a problem.

I wanted to ask you one other thing that always bothered my heart. But I doubt if this is the right time.

"Why didn't you ever say you were my real mother? I remember you always telling me that my mother was Zhena Juno"

I want to know why, because all this pain probably won't need to happen, if I know the truth from the beginning.

Myra let go of my embrace, then stood on my back. He was silent for about ten minutes, while looking at the rows of trees.

"When I first came to this pack, I was so scared, Duke. I knew Owen already had Zhena, and I knew how the Elders would respond to me. The pain as well as Owen's inability to transform were the things that made me dare to endure "

Myra turned around, then went back to telling the story, looking at the white stone on top of father's grave.

"My defense almost collapsed, when I met Juno. I saw the wounds I had inflicted on his black eyes. He was not angry or yelling at me, but his cold gaze said all. Right then and there, I wanted to leave this pack and go home. But my body has also weakened like Owen"

Myra paused for quite a while, telling something hurtful will never be easy.

"But as soon as I met Owen, all the doubt and fear that surrounded me, just disappeared. I have been complete. For a moment I forgot, with the low deed I did to get the loving gaze of the person who was hugging me back then. I don't care about any of that. Selfishly I embraced Owen's love and cried in his warm embrace"

Isakkan who returned to her, making it difficult for me to understand her words.

"It wasn't your fault, you met Mate who was destined for you. Of course you want to have it!" I said with understanding.

I can't tell you what it would be like if I had to hand Bee over to someone else. That's never gonna happen.

Myra smiled weakly hearing my words.

"You know? I used to hate those words. How could I have a married Mate? I was so angry at my destiny, but Elder Calida - the wife of Elder Galen-who never left my side, always gave advice, if that was the destiny I should accept. Destiny wouldn't mistake Mate for me. I won't know what's waiting for me"

"But I will never forget the cold gaze from Zhena Juno to me. My heart seems to be pierced with ice every time I meet him accidentally in Manor. Not to mention the discordant voices of the Elders and also Gentry every time they paid a visit to the Manor. They looked at me contemptuously and disgustedly as if I was a lump of foul-smelling trash"

I took my eyes off her face which was now back filled with tears. I can't bear to see it, but it's her choice to tell stories, I'm not going to stop her.

"Don't bear to see me tormented and languishing in Manor, Elder Calida proposed that I step aside from the manor and stay with him. He assured Owen that the health of both of us would not deteriorate, because what made our bodies weaken was our decision to part, not distance. So as long as I'm in my heart, Owen and I still want to be together, that's enough. Owen, of course, rejected the proposal. He was still trying to figure out a way to get rid of Juno. Sounds cruel, right? But that's what happened"

Laughter interrupts the story.

"The Elders who sided with Juno grew increasingly violent against it. On the other hand, the Elders who saw Owen's condition getting better, also pressed for Juno to be replaced immediately. I don't like to see Owen drowning in rage because of this problem. Finally, I made a decision that I felt was right at the time. I decided to leave the Manor as Elder Calida proposed, and turn yourself over to Zhena Juno when you are born"

The crying broke back. His slashing move made me realize that it was the toughest decision he had ever made in his entire life.

At this point, I was already sorry for asking. Seeing him tormented like this was too painful.