Finding You, Again
Us 22 - Just Us and a Shadow

I looked towards the night panorama with a blank look as my consciousness chose to wander.

The winter wind that bit the skin, I don't really care.

It had been about thirty minutes, I was standing still on the balcony of the room. I remember what happened this afternoon, which felt like a dream. A strange dream that will be embedded forever in my memory.

There's not much I can understand from Brawl, other than a bloody fight.

The werewolves communicate using mindlinks - as Myra described yesterday - so I cannot hear or understand what they are talking about.

But for some reason every Duke howled or growled, my body feathers bristled automatically, and I was able to catch the anger, fury or uneasiness emanating from it.

Whereas on the other hand, I could not understand at all, why did Myra suddenly walk around me after making me stand with a soft header on my back.

I asked after the show was over, but he just said that the pack people wanted to know me.

Why should they know me too?

Again, I am just a wildflower that accidentally got stuck in Duke's hair. It was very flashy and ended up making people want to pull it out. Though the real beautiful flower grows perfectly beside the Duke.

Exceptionally beautiful analogy Lui!! Praise me in my heart, try to entertain myself.

I saw Roanna's wolf. Roanna did not fight. But I could see, he sat up tensely when he saw Duke fighting. He must be worried that Duke is hurt.

And the surprise was, I had absolutely no objection to all the blood and also the severed head. I don't really mind blood, as long as it doesn't come from something with a human form.

I was a bit horrified and had to close my eyes when I imagined that the wolf that had severed its head was a human before. But that sight didn't make me want to run into hiding .

It was like watching Animal Planet on TV. Two wolves were fighting and one was killing his enemy.

And since I've been watching Animal Planet for the past six months, I can explain with certainty, that the fight that was, couldn't be called wild at all.

I've seen bloodier fights between elephants and lions. That strange hobby turned out to be helpful at a time like this.

The nickname creepy monster I pinned on Duke, was obviously irrelevant once I got used to it.

Monsters are called scary alien creatures. And Duke didn't meet both of those conditions. He is not scary, and not a foreign creature.

I now feel ridiculous to ever feel afraid of Duke.

But I can be scared, I never imagined at all that a human could turn into a wolf before.

Seeing it in front of your eyes for the first time, of course, can make you almost crazy.

Now I could understand why the girls who were in the same stands as me earlier, let out an enchanted snore upon seeing the Duke.

He looked like a wolf, but at the same time he did not look like a beast. He looked like a beautiful and mysterious legendary creature.

His werewolf movements were extremely graceful, he jumped and dodged recklessly.

The Siewolf who was in the stands, screeching and howling excitedly as the Duke fought, I don't need to understand the meaning of the wolf howl to translate it.

Putting aside their wolf form, their demeanor is a lot like Jovi's when he sees Zeno - and perhaps another handsome actor - for the first time.

And right then and there, I know why he's gonna be an Alpha here.

The duke exuded the scent of the ruler with just his howl. Its wolf shape is also larger than the others, and its deep black color is very intimidating. Everything in him accurately described the word Alpha.

After all that, I finally gave up.

Surrender to fight against all sane feelings and warnings, which are shouted by my common sense.

I admit it with a heavy heart, I love Duke!!

At first glance, Duke might look like a fierce and cold man.

But no! He's more than that.

He treated me very softly, kindly and very tolerant of my behavior.

Most of all, he saved my life, this is a very important point.

I couldn't have lived and breathed, if Duke hadn't come to Southdown. He was still willing to help me, when I was already angry and said rudely to him, the day before.

Then, he still did not chase me away after I called him a monster.

And he felt guilty instead, for making me the target of his enemy. I think for that reason, he treated me very well.

He's nice.... I'm sure it is.

And of course he's handsome, incredibly handsome. I even thought of him as admirable, when he was not human.

But the fact of good looks is a bonus, not the main thing that underlies my feelings, *Maybe.

My heart was relieved, for there was no need to find an excuse, for everything I felt when I saw Duke. Any resistance in the name of common sense, will not interfere anymore.

I accept, I did enjoy every single attention the Duke had given me all this time. And I can tell you exactly how happiness always swallows me whole, when she touches or hugs me.

Nonsensical nervousness, when we were in close quarters. Not to mention the warm waves and heartbeats that always care about the ears, when Duke smiled at me, could not be interpreted with others.

There was no clever rebuttal I could raise, to fight all those facts, other than that I ---- loved her.

I can't be wrong about this right now. Not like when I was with Zeno. Everything I felt for Duke, it felt as real as the winter air that stung my skin.

But this is wrong!! My heart was then twisted between sorrow and relief.

Grief from knowing, my love will only carry a feeling of languor without being able to have. What chance do I have, if my opponent is a creature as beautiful as Roanna?

All this understanding does not bring me happiness. Because once again I'm just a wildflower stuck in Duke's life. That wildflower would not have the chance to grow and take root in the Duke's heart, because a much more beautiful flower had grown perfectly there.

A flower called Roanna.

The unreasonable anger I felt towards Roanna, was a form of jealousy. Jealousy blindly from seeing him close to Duke.

What right do I have to be jealous? I am the one who is the thorn in their relationship. Roanna was supposed to be jealous of me being here.

My throat suddenly choked with tears. But I'm holding him back.

What's the point of crying over this? This feeling is the result of my stupidity for not being able to hold back my feelings for the Duke.

I won't cry!!

I wiped away a tear that had not fallen in the corner of my eye. I walked in and grabbed a glass at the table, maybe a drink would ease my breath a little. But then I saw, the teapot on my desk was empty!!

For the.. isn't there anything more annoying today??

This bottle is usually full of water. Why did they choose today to forget to fill it? I lament in my heart. But considering the busy pack today, I'm a little familiar.

I dragged my bare foot out of the room and down into the kitchen.

What I'm going to is the kitchen where Duke cooked dinner last night. There were no lights left on but in my room, but the width of the window was not curtained, making me able to walk quite easily in the light of the moon from outside.

I tread carefully, so as not to disturb the inhabitants of the Manor, after all, their ears are sharper than humans.

But as I approached the kitchen, the soft clinking sound of music made me stop my steps. That's the piano sound, no mistake. I wouldn't have misrecognized the piano.

I walked slowly looking for the origin of the mystery sound.

And after passing through some dimly lit passageways, I found the source of a space in an almost hidden corner. If no sound comes out of it, I'll just walk through it.

My heart rang uncontrollably, as soon as my eyes recognized the figure that was inside the room.

Duke was playing the piano with moonlight illuminated from the window. And I don't need to explain, how beautiful she looks there.

The light of the moon perfected everything that was in him.

Her fair yellow skin looked pale, and her black hair looked shiny as it reflected the silver light of the moon. The long-sleeved white shirt was perfectly wrapped around his body, although it was impressed that Duke was wearing it carelessly.

And his fingers danced nimbly on the piano keys, producing a beautiful tone that seemed to draw me in a whirlpool of emotions.

Tone full of sorrow and anxiety. I closed my eyes to enjoy every clink that seemed to echo the pain and suffering that I was suffering.

"Bee? Is that you?!!"

PYARRR!!!!

The glass I was holding slid freely to the floor.

Duke's heavy voice made me jump in shock.

I was completely unaware when the piano voice had stopped.

With reflexes I raised my hands to my mouth, and of course the glass that I had been holding, came off and hit the floor.

The glass broke into pieces and spread almost throughout the hallway. And to make matters worse, the Duke rushed over and was now standing in front of me.

"What's wrong? What am I doing here?" tanyakanya.

I could only shake in panic. I didn't imagine at all, having to meet and talk to the Duke right now. The thing I want the most right now is to stay away from her!!!

I tried to step in to keep our distance, but quickly the Duke gripped firmly on my shoulder.

"Don't move!!... You're gonna step on a piece of glass in the dark like this" he said slowly. He knelt on one leg and swept the floor with his hands, trying to get rid of the glass shards from around my feet.

"STOP!!"

I screeched in shock, he will injure his hand!!

I followed him crouching down and snatched his hand that was about to sweep the floor again.

A few bloody scratches adorned that hand. "Are you crazy???! You swept the broken glass with your hands?" terrify, panic.

But the Duke just laughed. "Don't worry!! Wounds like this will heal in a few minutes" he said, still with a big smile.

I immediately took off that hand, aware of my direct actions.

I covered my face with my hands in frustration.

Yes of course! I forgot he's not human. My heart, which had been pumping worry, was now calmer.

"You okay?" the question was full of probing, while pulling my hand from the face.

Her eyes could not possibly look more beautiful than they are now. Those brown eyes now looked very brightly giving off a yellowish glow in the dimness. I almost begged him to look over and not look at me anymore.

Those eyes succeeded in bewitching me with their charm.

Suddenly I realized---- our position was very close, because we were both on our knees in parallel.

Too close!!!! I will not be able to bear the thumping ever more wildly on my chest.

---------- *0o0*----------------

I could barely contain myself when I saw Bee's blue eyes, which were staring at me stunned.

He was worried and confused. The thing I wanted the most right now was to pull her in a hug and snatch the mouth that was now beautifully opened in front of me.

The aroma of Bee became three times more intoxicating than usual. The night air seemed to make the aroma radiate to the maximum.

But given all the hard work I put in to get to the point where Bee no longer screams in fear when I see me as I am now, I will hold him back.

Obviously the act of hugging and kissing forcefully would make him come back to fear me, for a reason far worse than just a monster. It was sexual harassment.

I pulled him up but kept him from moving. The fragment flattened the Bee's path to step. I know how to get her out of that sea of glass. I hope he won't mind.

"I'm sorry!" I said slowly, I have to force a little so that his leg is not injured.

Bee looked at me in surprise, not understanding why I was apologizing,.

I used the opportunity to duck down and slip my hands behind his knees and back.

"Duke!!" his screeches.

Her tiny body fell perfectly on my hand. I still remember how light Bee's body was, and now it's the same. I lifted the body easily.

Bee did not rebel at all, only resignedly covering his face with his hands.

"I'm sorry, I just don't want your legs to be hurt by that glass" I once again apologized for lifting her body.

I dropped Bee on the front seat of the piano, where I was sitting.

Bee shook his head "It's okay, I get it"

His face reddened as he said that. I hope he blushes in shame, not anger.

"Why is your body so cold?" I asked, considering the temperature of his body that was attached to the skin, when I lifted it earlier.

"I was standing on the balcony for a while" he replied, pointing to my room.

"Wearing that shirt?" That's unsurprising. That shirt-thin-thin!!!

Hardly hiding anything behind it. I was a little bit away when I realized it.

Bee was wearing a thin suit, not a creature that was safe to approach at a time like this. Especially if I approach him.

I'm pretty sure Mom chose that nightgown for her. If it was Bee's choice, I'd see him wearing a loose t-shirt and knee-length pants. Not a blue silk nightgown, complete with lace on the ends.

I'm grateful that Bee still wears a thin white silk robe outside. Otherwise, the low cut on the top of the shirt, would expose his neck and shoulders. I'm not sure I can hold back if I see it in person.

Realizing my sight, Bee grabbed her robe and threw her face away with a embarrassed face.

"Short of a second, don't go anywhere"

I have to fix Be's shirt, if I still want to be sane for the rest of our conversation. I opened the wall closet containing spare clothes near the exit and pulled the long coat and scarf that I wished was thickest.

I draped a scarf around Bee's neck and stretched out the coat over his shoulder.

Realizing my intention, Bee tidied up the coat and scarf to better fit on her body, after I stepped back.

"Why are there so many such cupboards around Manor?" he asked, pointing at the cupboard where I took my coat.

"Oh....That's because if a transformed werewolf is sure his clothes will be torn, the form of a wolf is much bigger isn't it? For that we provide a lot of spare clothes in several places in Manor, so we do not need to roam in a state of err-naked" I stammered a little to answer it.

Now is a bad time to talk about nudity.

Bee's face also flushed again hearing my answer. Shame, of course, not anger.

Bee turned to face the piano. He pressed E with his index finger. His clappers echoed in the air.

"Your game was so beautiful" he said, still turning his back on me.

I stepped up and sat next to him "Thank you.."

I moved my fingers, and played one of his favorite songs..

This song is Bee. I made this song for her, when we were officially lovers. I wrote it according to Bee's personality.

Her personality was gentle, innocent and naive at first, but the more I fell in love, I knew Bee more than that. Bee was like a bubble that could never stand still in the wind. Bubbles that refract rainbow colors in the sun.

It brings a smile and a cheerful atmosphere to anyone who sees it.

Bee who always makes me smile cheerfully with her happy face. Bee who has made me fall more and more in love with all its uniqueness. Bee's gonna cry for me if I'm sad.

Bee clapped softly as I touched the final note.

"What a beautiful song, did you make it?" His eyes widened in admiration as he looked at me.

You don't even remember this song Bee, my mind aches. You used to dance around the piano, every time I played this song.

"I didn't expect there to be a grand piano in the middle of the woods like this, did you buy it or make it here? Piano and werewolf is not something I can juggle easily" he asked curiously while pressing a few random keys.

"Hmmm...This situation is special. I'm arguably the first werewolf to play the piano. And this piano is my father's last gift" I said, with a heavy heart.

Mom told me about it a few weeks ago. Two months before I decided to take me home, my father bought this piano and took it into the pack with an insult from Elder Victor.

But father didn't care, he ignored and refused to give an explanation when some people asked him why he bought it. Only Mom knows what Dad's reason is.

He bought it, so I could keep playing the piano when I get back. He never doubted if I would go back and fulfill my destiny to become an Alpha. Despite all the rejections and harsh words I've spoken to her.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked" Bee's voice trembled as she said it.

"What's? I'm okay, you don't have to cry!" seruku panic. I grabbed Bee's face and wiped away the tears that had fallen on her cheek with my hand.

"I know what happened to your father. Myra told me yesterday" she said, still with tears rolling down her cheeks.

I deleted it and smiled. Bee was too easy to sympathize with.

"I'm fine Bee!!" I smiled cheerfully, so that Bee would stop crying.

"Because that's why your pianom sounded so sad?" tanyanya, looking down and busy rubbing her nose.

Yeah--- I played my saddest creation song before Bee came.

"I thought my burden would be light after I killed Amon, but I still felt guilty and empty. I was satisfied after my revenge, but that satisfaction did not fill the void left by my father"

I leaned my head on the piano and took a deep breath.

Maybe my words will confuse Bee, but I just want to spit out a little lump in my heart.

"Revenge will not satisfy you. Revenge will only create new wounds in your heart because you know, if your father won't come back, how many times have you killed that person" Bee said innocently.

Bee's words that I longed for, plain words but gave an explanation for what was in my heart.

I smiled and looked at him still with my head on the piano. "You're right of course!"

Bee smiled "Charlie told me this, every time I asked him who killed my mother!" bee's smile turned bitter now.

"Ck..why do I still remember something like that" he murmured softly.

A memory that brings sadness but still exists in Bee's memory. Not erased like me.

What a rotten luck Duke!! my mind with the dongkol.

"Do you have any other purpose, other than to take a drink?" I asked, pointing at the broken glass in the hallway.

I had to take Bee's mind off Belva, sometimes she still wants to cry if she remembers.

Bee shook his head to answer my question.

"Good! Then you don't mind if I take you for a walk outside?" my question, expectantly.

Maybe a little weird for him. But I just wanted to be with Bee a little longer without anyone interrupting.

"Of course, I want to take a walk in this pack without many eyes looking at me" Bee immediately turned cheerful. He never liked the excessive attention of others.

Today must have been very hard for him, because I'm sure all the pack citizens will look up to him, every time he passes by.

I quickly approached the cupboard and grabbed the smallest shoe, another scarf, and the thickest jacket.

"Wear it!" I said while extending everything.

"I've been wearing a scarf" he protested, while wearing the shoes I was carrying.

I don't want to hear rejection. I put the scarf around my neck and put it on my jacket. The temperature outside is almost near zero when the early hours are like this.

"I look like an ugly, round bundle" he said with a frown looking at his body.

"Don't worry, I promise to give a stern warning to anyone who dares to mock you later" I promised, in earnest.

"Duke!!!!" Bee exclaimed in annoyance, stomping his feet.

"Don't worry Bee, we won't meet anyone outside" I smiled amusedly, looking at the spoiled tantrum.

"It's better to be true!" he said, stepping towards the back door of Manor.

We walked in silence. He looked around the back garden of Manor with interest.

"It's a shame I can't see clearly now. I'm sure this park is as beautiful as the one under my balcony" she said, looking around.

"This garden belongs to my mother, she filled it with spring flowers. You will see nothing but empty plots and bushes during the day" I explained.

Mom has a strange taste about setting this back garden.

"Oh..." Bee muttered understand.

The sound of footsteps approached us, it was the guard warriors. He must have heard our voices talking earlier.

I hissed the warning in a low tone, and the footsteps stopped, Bee would not hear it, but the werewolf would recognize my hiss and step aside.

Bee began to step out of the Manor neighborhood.

"Where are we going?" he asked, looking to the right and to the left in front of the Manor gate.

Without hesitation I grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the right. "Follow me!".

The road around Manor was dark, I had to grab him before he fell. I walked down the road next to Manor and took Bee to the East of the pack.

"Is the electricity here very limited? Why don't you guys put up more lights?" Bee looked down, trying to see which way he was stepping.

"Bee, we can see well in the dark!"

"Ow.. You're right, wolves can see well without light!!" he said, with sparkling eyes because he understood.

The cute!! Really cute.

And again, I had to kill the urge to wipe those pink lips, which now formed a satisfied smile.

"Don't let go of my hand if you don't want to get lost!" Bee nodded obediently.

He asked about some of the buildings we passed by excitedly. I remember Oscar a few days ago, being the same as Bee, no doubt they were really brothers.

The difference is, now I answer all of Bee's questions with a light heart and willingly without coercion.

"Oh... is this some kind of watchtower? Too high!" he exclaimed, excitedly while feeling his wall made of stone.

"Yes, but we only wear them in special circumstances" I explained.

"Can we come in?"

"of course! I'm gonna abuse power tonight"

The watchtower will be full at the change of guard shift. But right now the building will be empty.

Bee climbed up the circular staircase excitedly, as if to fly upwards. "Slow Bee, you'll roll down if you take a wrong step" I said, smiling amusedly.

Bee is a fan of high places with good views, his enthusiasm is almost unstoppable at this time.

"Ohh--this is awesome!!" He shouted, almost shouting when we reached the top of the tower.

Bee stood on the edge of the fence and looked ahead.

With the human eye the pack may look a little gloomy as there are not many lights on, but the view of the night sky and the full moon in front of the Bee, will leave anyone amazed.

"I've never seen that many stars in London!!" Excitedly, his hand pointed towards the sky.

"The sight you can only get, if it's exchanged for darkness without lights" I followed him looking up at the sky.

A bright night sky with many stars scattered.

I miss him too. The sky in L. A. never showed a single star, because it was filled with a fog of pollution.

"This place is awesome!! I can't believe you guys could build a place this comfortable in the middle of the forest" he said, as he continued to stare at the sky.

"It's not an easy job! My grandfather started it all, but my father managed to turn the whole face of the pack into what it is today" I explained.

"Your father must be a very extraordinary person" Bee looked at me now.

"Yes, he's an Alpha that can be said to be almost perfect, until sometimes I get scared, if I'm going to tarnish his big name when I become an Alpha"

As usual, talking to Bee made me lose the filters in my brain. I said all the things I kept easily.

"You're also one of the great Alpha in my opinion" Bee uttered it with confidence that was vividly painted on the face.

"Bee, you've only met one Alpha in your entire life up until now!" my chorus, laughing.

He said as if he had met many Alpha before.

"Oh. You're right. I can't compare you to anyone!" he said while laughing.

"But thanks anyway. I really appreciate your judgment"

"You're welcome, Scion!" bee said, looking down politely. Mimicking the attitude of pack citizens when meeting me, but his mouth laughed amusedly.

"Stop that!" I can recognize the mocking tone there.

Bee laughed out loud, watching me sulk.

I never thought I would reach a time where I could laugh like this with Bee. It's an incredible advance.

But it wasn't enough to get Bee to marry me before next week.

My nose caught the smell of werewolves approaching the tower. Time for a change of guard shift.

"We have to go Bee, in a while this place will be crowded with werewolf guards" I reached out.

"Oh.. You don't plan on using your power anymore?" tanyanya, still with a hilarious tone.

"I don't mind, but do you want to meet them with ugly, round-roofed-looking bundles?" my challenge.

Bee quickly shook his head. "We go back to Manor", he's the one who's now pulling me down from the tower.

"You can't see in the dark Bee, you have to stay behind me!" shakily, prevent him from freefalling on the stairs.

"Oh. You're right again!" he said, stopping suddenly. I'm glad my foot brakes are working fine. Otherwise, we would both be rolled off the stairs.

"You and your spirit!!" I said anxiously, while squeezing his nose reddened by the cold air.

Bee did not reply, and just followed me in silence.

We didn't say much during the return trip, likely because now Bee has shivered in the cold. His mouth and nose smoky every time he breathed. And Bee's hands were shaking in my grasp.

"How did you survive outside wearing only a shirt?" he asked, while rubbing his nose and cheeks which were now also reddened upon our arrival in the courtyard of Manor.

Without a second thought, I put both my hands on her cheeks.

"Warm!!.your hands are very comfortable Duke "he exclaimed, enjoying the heat from my palms while closing my eyes.

"Werewolf has a higher body temperature than Bee man" I stared at the beautiful face that was now smiling innocently, still with my eyes closed.

She must have been so cold, that she did not protest at my hand now stroking her face. She seemed to enjoy the warm touch of my hand on her cheek.

Our faces were so close, that I could feel her soft lips perfectly sticking to my lips. That lip must have been cold.

Oooh-why do I miss that sweet taste of lips so much!! A sense of warmth and happiness spread throughout my body wildly, when Bee's lips began to warm, moving slowly to return my kiss.

The gasping sound of Bee resuscitated me.

THE PLAAAAKK!!!!!............

A hard slap landed on my left cheek. It took me two seconds before I came to my senses and condemned my stupidity.

Did I just kiss her???!!!!.

Sure thing!!!

Right now Bee is looking at me pushyly, with reddened lips.

I must have lost control of myself, when I saw Bee's face with eyes closed resignedly displayed in front of me earlier!

You and your stupid mouth Duke!!! my meaning is in my heart.

The slap did not hurt at all, but the tears that were now streaming down Bee's cheeks made my heart seem pierced.

"Sorry.I'm sorry! I don't mean--" I can't continue that sentence, because I can't lie. I did kiss Bee subconsciously, but I have no regrets about having done so.

And I could have sworn he returned my kiss. He shouldn't have slapped me!

"You-You-You have so much!! What you did earlier, not only would it hurt me, but it would also hurt Roanna!!" it was hard, with cheeks full of tears.

Bee turned around and ran in the Manor, leaving me in confusion.

Roan's? A roanna?

What does Roan have to do with this?

What's Roan's business with my kiss?

The words 'Roan' and 'my kiss' shouldn't be in one sentence, in any atmosphere.

"Bee!! wait---" I chased him into the Manor, after my brain consciousness had gathered.

But I saw Bee had run up the stairs, and slammed the door shut.

"Bee-I beg you, open the door!" I knocked on the door slowly.

I need a long and wide explanation from him.

"Go away and don't bother me!" Bee shouted in tears.

"Bee, please don't be like this. I just want to talk for a minute!" myrag. I won't stop until it's all clear. I know Bee returned my kiss.

"No-I don't want to hear anything from you. Go!!! " Be was still snapping in a hysterical tone

It's bad, I can't force it. He might have fainted from crying.

"Alright! I'm gonna go. But calm yourself. You'll pass out if you keep crying" Bee didn't react, I hope that's a good sign.

A few minutes later, I could hear Bee's sobs had diminished.

"Go!!.. " Bee finally answered more regularly.

"I'm going to go. Don't cry anymore, OK?" I walked out the door with a little relief. At least Bee's calmer.

I went down the stairs still with a big question mark on my brain.

What does Roan have to do with my kiss?

I threw myself on the living room sofa while thinking hard.

Other horror thoughts began to approach me.

Don't tell me Bee is hysterical like that because of that actor t*l*l. Is their relationship deeper than I expected?

I don't want to think about it!! I cursed quietly to destroy that wild thought.

What does this have to do with Roan's name? Not a single reasonable thought formed in my mind, to answer that question.