Finding You, Again
David 15 - Dead End Ahead

The pages of the magazine on my lap were far from neat, because I kept flipping through them agitatedly from now on.

The look of the patient in the hospital lobby where Alva worked seemed to skin me.

I was actually used to the gaze of the woman who was fixed on me, and under normal circumstances I didn't care much about that.

But because of my death status, I was worried that one of them would start shouting 'zombies' if it managed to recognize my face.

This makes me very nervous, I can't sit still from now on. I dare not take off my sunglasses for a second, so that my face continues to be hidden.

Next to me, Roan was sitting comfortably while sipping drinks, regardless of the sight of the few men who were fixed on him.

I admit Roan is very pretty. If he was silent, as he is now.

His hair was black, long and straight. The shape of a tapered face with large eyes was almost silver gray, making her stand out among other girls . One of the male nurses nearly crashed the wheelchair she was pushing against the wall, her eyes too busy glancing at Roan.

The sighting of two creatures with above average values, made us both seem to be a living spectacle in this hospital lobby.

I arrived on time according to the appointment, but the receptionist said, Alva will be a little late because there is an emergency case. And it was almost an hour ago. My neck started to ache because I couldn't hold my head up.

"David!!.. Oh My God!!"

Alva's exclamation - which also made the entire head in the hospital lobby turn my head - jolted me.

F*ck!! I immediately ran towards Alva and hugged her tightly. While hoping, my actions will embarrass the audience.

And granted. As in command, the people who had been looking at Alva, almost all of them lowered their heads or threw their eyes away from their guard.

Without wasting any time, I dragged Alva who was still in my arms into the empty elevator and pressed her button to close.

Alva thrashed in my arms, as I subconsciously smothered her mouth tightly.

"What are you doing?! Are you crazy?!" he asked while panting, after I let go of the clot.

"I'm supposed to ask like that, what do I mean yell my name out there? You want everyone to know I'm not dead?" I snapped, not losing my annoyance.

Alva was still adjusting her breathing and did not reply. The power of that hug was greater than I imagined.

"I'm Sorry, OK? I just want those people to stop looking at us. I shouldn't squeeze your body" I said.

Alva frowned hearing my words.

"That sounds more inappropriate than your hug, David. People will be mistaken if they see your embrace earlier and hear your words just now" he said flatly, while squeezing the 7th floor for the purpose of the elevator we climbed

For a moment I thought about what he meant,

"F!!! " say me loudly when I understand. I could be accused of sexual harassment based on what Alva said.

"Language please!!! " he said again with annoyance. He does not tolerate harsh words under any circumstances.

We walked silently towards Alva's room on the 7th floor to avoid the stares of people there. Fortunately, not so many people were in this part of the hospital.

I removed the sunglasses I was wearing once I got to Alva's room, it wasn't my hobby to wear sunglasses indoors.

And this time Alva hugged me. Alva isn't an emotional person, I think she's really happy to see me.

"I'm glad you're really alive, I almost fell out of my chair, when the receptionist mentioned your name this morning. The news I heard was not wrong" Alva looked at my face. As if to convince, if the one in front of him is really me.

"You hear the news if I'm still alive? Who told you?"

I was a bit surprised, because Alva very rarely follows news from any world, either human or inhumane.

He shrugged his shoulders, refusing to answer.

Ck.-w-. It's not easy to get Alva to talk.

He let go of the hug, then walked up to grab a bottle of drink for the two of us from the corner's mini-fridge.

"I know you don't have much time, so I'll get to the point Alva. Can I see Bee? You know, I have to see him" I asked without further ado.

Alva took a heavy breath, then dropped herself into her work chair behind the desk. His face looks gloomy. That means bad news, I don't like this.

After a few seconds of sitting in silence, Alva finally shook her head softly, "I'm sorry David, you can't see him. And I hope you don't try" he replied slowly.

"No!! I have to see him!"

I vehemently deny her diagnosis. I started walking back and forth in a frenzy.

"Maybe he'll faint, but it's only temporary, he'll wake up as usual" I exclaimed, trying to reason.

"It's not like that, David. Please sit down, I'll explain everything to you. But you need to sit down to hear it" Alva looked at me with a concerned face.

I sat back, trying to calm down.

Alva straightened her sitting position then turned the chair so that now we sat face to face.

"I won't ask why you faked your death. Most likely, it is related to the inhumane world, I really don't want to hear what the cause is. I also know, you might not want to hurt Eluira on purpose. But the news of your death is the worst thing that could happen to Lui, because once again, she's lost her world"

Alva looked at me without blinking.

Alva had known me long enough to deduce it all, and I also knew she didn't want any more contact with the inhumane world. My presence with him is a privilege due to an emergency situation.

I was a little relieved that I didn't have to tell you everything I went through on the pack. It's not a beautiful story to share. Then I just nodded in understanding.

And I'm also very understanding of Bee's situation, which is why I can't stop worrying when I'm on the pack. The worst thing I could have imagined, actually happened. The state of Bee's head did not allow for a shock like this.

"Is the situation very ----" I can't solve my question, as guilt begins to take hold of my entire consciousness.

"Yes-Lui's condition after hearing the news of your death was very bad. Bad is better than it was at the time. I was so scared back then, that Lui wouldn't be able to survive"

"He passed out many times, whereas you know for yourself the medicine I made, it is impossible to use continuously in the near future. The medicine is not for ordinary humans!"

The special medicine for Bee when he fainted, was actually a magic potion created by Alva. He works hard to make it look alkaline, so Oscar and Bee don't get suspicious.

"I repeatedly had to warn Oscar not to overdo it. But what other choice does he have? Oscar desperately tries to save a fraction of his hopes to keep Lui sober. I still remember the curse he threw for you to make me creep"

I tried to divert the pain that attacked me by thinking about Oscar. I couldn't have predicted what Oscar would have done to me if he knew I was alive at the time.

"I, Oscar and Charlie, could only look on as Lui sank into grief. The suffering that had gone beyond crying. He just looked blankly without the desire to live. I had to give him an infusion, because in the end he did not respond to anything. Lui was still conscious, but her soul seemed to be gone"

Alva's teary eyes reminisced back then.

Word for word that came out of Alva's mouth, making me feel as if I had been knocked down from the height of the building.

The inside of my body twitched painfully due to the thickened pile of guilt. I made Bee up like that, I----!!!

"Suddenly, a miracle happened. Or we used to think it was a miracle. But now I don't know...."

Alva's voice grew quieter as she said it. The eyes that had originally looked at me, began to turn to look at the other objects in the room.

"Is there anything worse?" I'm starting to get scared to hear Alva's story.

"On the 7th day after hearing the news of your death, Lui fainted again. I forbid Oscar from injecting potions, because the use of which already exceeds the dose that should be. When I checked, I couldn't suggest anything else but to wait. Waiting for the moment the potion that had been in his system to disappear, so that I could inject it again. I gave you a time range of about a day last night"

Alva drank the water in front of him and continued the story again.

"But I was very surprised when I got a call from Oscar the next morning. He reports that Lui has regained consciousness, without using the potion. I ignored Oscar's explanation saying that Lui's situation was a little strange, because she was very excited, thinking that Lui's situation had improved. But we were wrong. That's not a good sign"

Alva took a deep breath.

"The answer appeared as soon as I met Lui. When I saw her, Lui no longer recognized me! I'm a stranger to Lui"

I frowned hearing Alva's words.

"What do you mean Bee doesn't know you anymore? He's met you a million times" I said.

Not to mention Bee had been in Alva's care for 4 months after she fell into a coma. This doesn't make any sense.

"It's really happening Dave, he doesn't know me anymore. Lui was very panicked back then, as her memories were strewn about irregularly. After that, he repeatedly said he could not remember what caused him to faint. That's when I realized, Lui didn't just forget me. More precisely, he has forgotten everything related to you, David Adalrik"

"The thought of you has disappeared from Lui's memory" Alva repeated, seeing me silence does not react.

The chair I was sitting on seemed to turn into embers that were burning my body painfully.

Once again, the fact that Alva told me made me want to stop breathing and close my eyes forever.

"Because of that, Lui doesn't know me anymore. You're the one who introduced me to her for the first time. His mind also erased my entire existence. All the events and also the people she met when she was with you were not left in Lui's memory"

Alva explained in more detail the thing that broke my heart.

"Everything?" I hissed in despair.Alva's nod was the last verdict, which threw me in the dark.

Someone must have pierced my chest this time, because the pain I felt was so real, stabbing my heart without mercy.

Our memories? The three years we've been through have been gone? We laughed and cried together.

I waited for him to wake up for almost a full year. I'm working on different ways that Bee can open her eyes again.

Now all that's gone? Memory is everything to me. It was that memory that kept me alive until now.

Unknowingly I laughed, a rude and discordant laugh. I laugh at my own stupidity. I made all this happen. I left Bee.

Alva grabbed my hand trying to calm me down.

"Must I continue?" tanyakanya. I nodded slowly.

My heart has been broken, there is no way that anything could hurt me more.

"With all the experience I had, what happened to Lui became a new puzzle for me. I've never met a case like this. Lui can remember that her mother died, but.."

"Wait on!! He was with me at the time. If the diagnosis was correct, Bee should not remember what happened when her mother died" I interrupted loudly.

The possibility of Alva being wrong in this matter is very small, but I will hold tight to my expectations, even if only a little.

"You're wrong" Alva refuted more calmly.

"He still remembers the incident, because at that time, Lui's mind was not gushing at you. He was drowning in great sorrow when his mother died. That grief gave a slit to his memory, because he was not thinking about you at the time"

Alva's objection again sent a blow of pain to my chest, ********* my wish to dust.

"It was evidenced by Lui's loss of memory of how she came to her senses from the coma. You were there with him at the time" he added slowly.

"Lui's lost love was perfectly selected. His memory will remain, if you have nothing to do with the events he witnessed. But if there's a little you - or someone who knows you - in it, it's certain that those memories will be erased from Lui's mind. Therefore, Lui became very confused. Her memories are full of holes, holes that should contain memories of you"

Alva took a deep breath, but not with me. The tightness of sadness gripped tightly onto my chest, as if blocking the flow of air entering my lungs.

"After realizing that, Oscar and I decided to remove you completely from Lui's life" he continued, slowly filled with a tone of regret.

"I'm sorry, I had no other way to make Lui better back then" Alva continued with a slight sob.

I just threw a blank look at him, unable to think anymore.

"Can't you do something with your potion or spell? You're the great wizard Alva!" I almost whispered when I said it. Desperation and sadness eroded all the energy that was felt in my body.

"Nothing!! Ii'm sorry. There's nothing I can do about Lui after all this. His mind was too weak to accept any other spell or potion"

The regretful face of Alva who was now in tears, seemed to run over all the despair I was trying to build.

"Oscar discards everything related to you. Change Lui's phone, and erase all traces of your photos. Oscar gave a whole new life to Lui, a life without you. Lui returned to normal after that, she still fainted from the blob, but she functioned well as a human "

Alva continued her story while leaning against the chair and looking at the ceiling of the room.

"Warnings to you, I hope you didn't do anything stupid by forcing Lui to remember about you. If Lui falls into a coma again, I won't be able to save her again Dave. The spell I used only happened once "

Alva's tone of voice was still concerned, but I clearly heard a bit of intimidation there.

Alva knew what I might do when despair took over. But this time I'll hear it. I don't want to see Bee go back to the horrible situation he was in.

It's enough----!

I still want to hear all of Alva's explanations, but-I can't take it anymore.

"You know-Thanks for the time. But I need to go now!"

I said as polite as I could, moving, and walked out of the room.

"What's? wait!!..No !! Wait---- Dave!!"

I still heard the call of Alva who was shocked by my sudden departure. But I don't care.

I don't want to hear anything anymore. I won't be able to bear any more pain than this.

I put on my sunglasses again and rushed down to the lobby. The elevator from the 7th floor went very slowly.

This is s*ck!!

As soon as he got to the lobby, Roan ran over to me. He had already opened his mouth to ask, but seeing the look on my face, he undoes his intentions. He walked next to me without asking much.

"Can you drive?" I asked Roan.

"of course! i'm....." I cut off the explanation by throwing the car keys, at him.

I'm not driving right now, not sure I can fight my urge to crash into a wall, and make myself really die.

Roan who used to babble without stopping, apparently a little understood by my circumstances, he did not say a word during the trip. The silence I need to mourn my fate.

Bee--do you really forget about me? This can't be happening!

I tried to deny it and looked for other, less painful explanations. But I myself have proof, if all the things Alva told me were true.

The strange words Bee said when I contacted him a while ago, now made sense. He does not remember ever being a Bee, therefore he said there was no Bee there.

What am I supposed to do now? My entire stomach was suddenly turned upside down, nauseous and poignant.

"Stop!!" I shouted at Roan, who immediately jumped in surprise.

But obediently he pulled the car over by the side of the road. I rushed down and spewed out my entire breakfast by the side of the road.

Fortunately we stopped by the deserted road, there were only forests and ravines around..

"Duke!! You okay?" Roan sounded very panicked, as he held out the tissue he had taken from the drawer. I received the tissue, and motioned her to stay away.

I don't want him to see me like this.

I don't know if any more tears, or sweat is now running down my face. I fell down, because slowly my legs lost their strength to support the body.

I could hear Roan's footsteps approaching, again I forbade him with a flick of a hand. I don't want sympathy from anyone right now.

I just want to melt in this pain and grief. I sat down while clutching my legs tightly, hoping to reduce the pain in my chest. But no matter how hard I pressed it, the pain did not decrease.

I miss you so much Bee, you can't do this to me!

Can't I be with you again? It's all my fault, but you can't punish me like this Bee, it's too painful.

I slowly stepped closer to the road barrier, which separated the asphalt with a gaping gap. A moment of stupid thoughts flashed through my head, maybe if I jumped up and died, then this pain would disappear.

But that means I won't be able to see you again, Bee.........

For a while, the desire to end all of this, and my desire to meet Bee, was at war in my mind.

I will meet you, even for the last time, my resolve.

I looked at the abyss once more, and took pains to shake off my desire to jump. I can't die here, not before I see Bee.

I limped towards the car, rejecting Roan's helping hand.

Arriving in the car, I typed the command for Id on my phone. Roan, who had also re-entered the car, ran it like a fidelity, in order to get to Lykos soon. He must be very worried about seeing my situation.

Ck. I hate being weak.