Finding You, Again
David 16 - Painful's

The sound of birds chirping distracted me, who had been fixed on the notebook in hand. Some birds landed on the edge of the balcony, before then flying again, realizing my presence nearby.

This place is officially my favorite place in Lykos. It was a small balcony in front of my bedroom.

The balcony faces east. It is bordered by a park and a small forest that separates the house, with neighbors that are approximately three kilometers away.

This balcony was located on the second floor, so I could freely see the uninterrupted scenery of people passing by. That means the only way to reach this place, is by passing through my room, this place is completely hassle-free.

If it's night, this place is no less beautiful. The stars are clearly visible, due to the lack of light pollution. If you want to escape from the world, I highly recommend this balcony as a place of escape.

I looked up at the blue sky from where I was lying-a lazy chair-while soothing my nauseous stomach back. I don't want to spit out anything else, because there's nothing else I can spit out.

No food has been able to get into my stomach since I heard about Bee's condition. The drink also fared the same, I regurgitated it once I tried to swallow.

But I don't care about that!!

Right now, I just want to sit and wait for Id. Roan and Tita's beats and calls, I'm not at all concerned about. I'll only answer it if it's Id.

Two days ago, after I heard Alva's explanation, I told Id to follow Bee and find information about her current activities, however. I want to see Bee.

But since then, Id has not given any news. I imagine the task will not be easy, given all the care that Oscar did.

I snatched the phone as fast as lightning, when the ringing of the incoming call sign lit up. But I slammed him back at the table in disappointment, Alva called, not Id.

BRUAKKKKKK-!!!!!!

Suddenly a loud clashing sound came from the direction of my room.

I got up, reflexively grabbed the gun next to the phone, and pointed it at the sound source.

I moved forward into the bedroom, and the scent of lily came to my nose.

"For f*ck sake, are you crazy?! Why did you break my door!" I snapped at El, who was standing with his hands up in front of the bedroom door, which was hanging slanting on his hinges.

"And you're gonna shoot me for it?" he asked back, pointing at the gun I was still pointing at him.

I peeked in annoyance, then stepped onto the bed to insert my gun under the pillow.

"If you open it willingly, I won't break it" El said.

"Why are you here? You should be in Quebec" I asked, lazily.

I lay in bed, because now my head feels spinning.

"I was in Quebec, but Roan called me in a panic yesterday. Saying you're gonna die!" he replied, with a worried tone.

I just shrugged my shoulders, maybe I'd die. An unwanted mate will die, right? My condition deteriorated quickly, knowing how Bee had forgotten me.

But I wouldn't say that to El, because it would only add to the anger.

"NO!!, you're not gonna die. Not anytime soon!" El exclaimed with confidence, he took a slow step and sat at the end of the bed facing towards me.

I avoided her sight, not wanting El to know what was on my mind. He'll be even more angry, if he finds out I want to die, too.

I'm tired of all this. I just want this pain to stop.

"I talked to Alva, she told me everything, and I understand why you're like this. But can't we talk about it? I will not allow you to die so easily" he said in an annoyed tone.

"First you dumped me in Quebec, and now you want to die? it won't be that easy!" It took me a while to realize that El was scolding me.

If it was Roan, I wouldn't be this good, but El nagged? This is more than a miracle of the world for me.

"Yes!! I'm mad at you!" The impact, seeing the astonished look that was plastered on my face El stood up, then began to walk back and forth around the bed.

"You did always act unreasonable about everything related to Lui!! I understand what caused it now, but I still won't let you act rashly, remember that!!"

Her index pointed right at my face, which was still gawking at her looking angry.

El never yelled at me before. He never voiced his objections with anger. His actions were always full of calculations.

"Now please take a bath, you're smell like monkey *ss!!" snapped again.

If it wasn't El who said it I might be offended, but then again, I didn't move in amazement.

"Stop looking at me!!" finally he stopped pacing and looked at me directly.

I could see that this time El was really serious, his black eyes looking at me with annoyance.

I kissed my arm and was shocked, because it did smell a little painful.

The last time I took a shower was 3 days ago. "Hey-this isn't too bad!" I said defend myself.

El rolled his eyeballs in disbelief hearing my answer, then he stepped up and took a clean towel from the pile on the table, then threw it at me.

Relented, I headed for the bathroom. But as soon as I stood the scenery around me turned around.

I fell on the bed holding my now throbbing head.

"That's because you haven't eaten anything for 3 days!!" hardik El with a hard.

"You know--- I like the old you better, your new personality sucks" I said, closing my eyes and lying on my side in bed, snapping a new beat into my head.

El walked over while calling someone, I don't know who I can hear.

My ears were ringing in rhythm with the throbbing in my head, but I could feel El sitting next to me.

"You can't go on like this Duke! It's not like you" El said, in a normal tone.

He can't scold me anymore. My condition looks really bad in his eyes. I took a deep breath to relieve the pain in my head before answering.

"I'm tired!!" I answered, briefly.

"It's not like you, Duke!" reworked.

"Because now there's nothing left for me Eldred!!" I said, in a high tone while glaring.

I no longer cared about the spinning scene because it opened my eyes wide.

"What else is there for me? I can't be with Lui anymore, which means I can't get my wolf either, which also means I can't be an Alpha!!" my yelling. I don't care if the whole house hears it.

"And if I want to live my life as a human being, it can't either. Do I need to remind you that I am dead for this world?! What else is there for me?! All that remains of the stupid decision I made 8 years ago, is pain and loss!!"

I screamed with all my might. My breath panted for spewing out all the things I had been sniffing for three days.

I shouldn't have vented my anger on El, but-he was the one who lured me to this.

"I prefer you to be this angry and emotional. At least you feel alive" El said calmly.

I snorted annoyed at his words.

"So you feel like this is all happening because of your decision to leave the pack? Come on. You know this isn't true. If you never leave the pack, you'll never meet Lui. Do you regret that meeting too?" ask her a little cynically.

Nah! Of course not, my heart.

The encounter with Bee was the most beautiful and magical thing that ever happened in my life. I'll never regret it.

Little El smiled to see me not answering that question. He knew exactly what I was answering, without me having to reveal it.

"Now stop blaming yourself and think clearly. You may be guilty of some things, but not all the consequences of your mistakes are bad. There are many other amazing things that happen because of it. You can find out who your real mother really is, you met your Mate. You can even tell who your enemy really is"

El stopped for a moment to take a breath.

"And for me--- I can see a world that I did not dare to imagine, even if only in a dream. All my life, I will continue to be grateful to you, for all that I now have" said El, in a voice laden with emotion, who tried to hold him back.

"Please don't give up on this" he continued.

That was the longest sentence I ever heard from El.

The sound of footsteps approaching the room, dampened my intention to reply to El's words.

Roan appeared while carrying food on the tray. He looked carefully at the sloping door.

"I should have thought of this way!" she said, sounding a little disappointed at losing the chance to break into the door. Roan placed the tray on the table next to the bed then sat down next to El.

"Eat, you are in a terrible state" said Roan, softly.

No insinuations or taunts? it is also another wonder of the world.

"Are you guys exchanging souls? Your attitude is so weird!" I asked, looking at them in wonder.

"That's because you look worse than a dog that lost its master"

It only takes one sentence, and Roan returns to his original self.

"I can't eat" I explained. The scent that smelled from the tray was actually very delicious.

But my shadow will spit it out again, killing my appetite quickly.

"Duke!! You're not gonna get anything done if you die, which is just gonna be troublesome".

El snapped at me once more, while his hand grabbed the plate on the tray and shoved it towards me. I nodded slowly, refusing.

"Do you want to leave Zhena Myra alone in this world and make her die as well?" ask El slowly.

"Don't you dare!!" my anger warned, he must not bring Mom into this discussion.

"I have to say it!! You seem to have forgotten that if you still have Mom waiting for you to come home, she called me yesterday, because you didn't answer her call" Calmly, El launched his attack.

He knows he won this debate.

In annoyance I scooped a little porridge, and put it in my mouth.

I swallowed it while hoping to successfully hold it in the stomach for a rather long time. But not in line with expectations, the food returned.

I threw the plate carelessly, then dragged my feet into the bathroom.

I spewed more than just a spoonful of porridge into the closet. After a few painful minutes, I sat down limply on the bathroom floor while closing my eyes.

What happened to my body? I really intended to eat.

Is this because Bee no longer wants me? Little by little, I am headed for death?

El's scent filled the bathroom a sign of him catching me in.

Not long after, I felt his hand grab onto my shoulder and pull me up. Not wanting to fight anymore, I just complied, as he pushed me back into the room, and laid me on the bed.

"You can't swallow food?" roan asked, his hand was busy cleaning up the broken plates, which were pithy earlier.

I nodded slowly from the pillow

"I told you already, and you ignore it" I said, annoyed.

"I thought you just didn't want to eat" El said softly, looking at me grimly.

I could only snort rudely hearing her answer.

Tok--Tok-Tok-Tok!

A slow knock on the door, startling the three of us.

We didn't realize anyone was at the door, but we were werewolves.

But seeing who's coming I'll soon understand. That's Alva, she's highly trained to hide her existence from any inhumane creature.

"You look a lot worse than I thought" he said, shaking his head slowly.

"He can't swallow food at all" El said as if he was in a doctor's examination room.

"What's wrong with you two?! It sucks, Lui did the same thing when she heard about your death, she almost starved to death for refusing to eat, and now you too!" hardik Alva was upset.

His words immediately removed the remaining bit of color on my face, and my bowels churned again, although nothing else filled them.

I try to get out of bed to go to the bathroom. But El's hand held me, and deftly, Roan held out an empty trash can that was near the window.

I spewed stomach acid into that dumpster.

"I think it's better if we don't talk about Lui right now" El said, holding out a wet towel to me, then walking to put the dumpster outside the room.

I'm so grateful for this. That wet towel eased the throbbing feeling in my head.

After I rubbed my face with the towel, I put it on my forehead. And closed his eyes with resignation.

"I'll check on you" Alva's voice sounded close to my ear.

I felt a cold thing go into my shirt and stick it on my chest. I no longer had the strength to resist or protest, so I just let it go.

"Why are you here ?" I asked Alva, who's still checking my blood pressure.

"I don't want to come here, Eldred called me. He said you were so bad".

I looked at El and Roan in turn. "Who else did you call and say I was going to die? Does Uncle Rex know?" ask me with annoyance. I don't like it when a lot of people know I'm in a mess, especially Mom.

El and Roan shook their heads simultaneously. "I wouldn't be so stupid as to tell my father" Roan said upset at my accusations. "I just told her that you needed my help" El replied with a spell.

I'm a little relieved, at least I won't worry Mom.

"Why do your vital signs read like humans? And why did your eye color turn bright brown? The last time I met you before you were gone, it was still green" Alva asked suddenly, looking at the measuring instrument in her hand.

Me, Roan and El stared at each other, not knowing what to say.

"I don't think you need to know about that, you don't want to get involved in inhumane, do you?" I hate lying, and obviously can't say about my body's state to him.

This is the best answer I can give.

Alva seemed quite satisfied with my answer. He just shrugged, then put the tools he was wearing to check me into the bag.

"You're limp from malnutrition, I'll give you infusions and medicine for your stomach. I doubt the medicine will work well, because your problem actually comes from here" Alva said as she pointed to my head.

He started sticking needles in my arm and putting in an infusion. He casually hung my infusion bag on the bedpost.

His movements stopped for a moment, when he realized the infusion puncture wound was bleeding, not healing as usual. But Alva did not communicate. He simply took a cotton swab and covered the wound with a bandage.

"Stress and depression, therefore your body rejects all incoming food. If you don't calm your mind immediately, then your situation will get worse." he continued calmly.

Calm your mind? it's easier said than done.

I just nodded, just nodding at the options available to me.

"I have to leave immediately, but there is one more thing I have to tell you" Alva said as she put a recipe paper on the table.

"Don't!! Can't it wait?" El replied with worry.

He came straight towards the back bed, as soon as Alva finished checking me out.

"It's not about Lui, it's about the Oscars" he replied slowly. I who could not guess what he wanted to say, waited in curiosity.

"Oscar knows everything, he already knows you're alive. Oscar already knows who you really are, he knows your real name and everything else" Alva said in a single breath.

"you mean? Aoal I'm a werewolf?" my many.

Trying to find certainty once again, because the thing he said was almost impossible. How did Oscar know? He's human, he shouldn't be able to find information about inhumane creatures.

That's impossible!

But Alva's nod to the answer to my question, subverted that disbelief. Oscar really knows about my inhumane identity!

This is amazing.

"How is it that possible? He's a normal human, isn't he?" Roan protested this time.

"He was human, but a little bit extraordinary. He knows a lot about werewolves and your position as Scion Blackmoon. Oscar even knew I was a witch. He came to me only to confirm that the info he received was correct. That's when he told me you were alive"

Alva explained in detail that made my hair bristling.

Oscar knows about the pack and Scion? This is definitely not good news.

Because this means, there is one more obstacle that makes the distance between me and Bee even further. With his super paranoid nature, Oscar will never allow Bee to get close to the inhumane world.

But more importantly, where did he know about the inhumane world?!

"B...!!!" swear as hard as I can.

Can't my situation improve a little? If I had measured the misfortune of my fate as deep as the ocean, I would have sunk into the crust of the ocean floor.

Alva is beaming with a face that doesn't like to hear me swearing. Roan and El jumped, not expecting I could still make such a loud noise.

Alva got up from her seat and held her bag tight. But his face still looked doubtful, his eyes glancing at me and the exit in turn. There was still something stuck in his mind

"Say, I'm fine!" my word.

I was just curious about everything, no matter if it made things worse for me.

"It's about Lui, and maybe Oscar. I wanted to say this when you came yesterday, but you didn't want to listen to me until it was over" he said. Blaming me for the hassles he had to endure until now.

"Did you remember? The thing I told you first, when I first checked on Lui? If Lui's condition was a miracle? With the clot in his brain, he shouldn't have survived" asked Alva.

I nodded, of course I remembered, I almost broke his right hand with my grip first. How dare he say such a thing.

"Well..what's happening to Lui right now, is also too magical a thing to happen to humans! Amnesia with a very specific target like this, never happened in any medical world Duke. I never said this to Oscar or to you, because I never thought they had anything to do with Inhumane. But when Oscar came to me with the facts about you, I realized they were different"

I frowned more and more because Alva's explanation was getting nonsensical.

"So you mean, they're also inhumane?!" El asked, in an unconvinced tone to Alva.

"No, they're human! I'm sure it is. How many times do you think I've examined Lui's body? I'm not going wrong about this! But they're different, and I don't know what"

Alva snapped a little irritated. He didn't like anyone doubting his abilities as a doctor and a witch. An Alva will recognize an inhumane from a distance of meters.

Alva glanced at the watch in her hand and hissed.

"I have to leave now, I shouldn't have lingered in the werewolf lair" he said, walking out in a hurry.

Roan looked irritatedly at the back of Alva who had disappeared. He must have disliked the mention of werewolf nests.

For the next few minutes, the three of us fell silent at the thought of Alva's words.

Maybe Alva is just a little exaggerated, they are indeed different from the rest of the family. Since they have a huge mafia network in the world, maybe it will give you access to the inhumane world, I guess with some hesitation. Because that still doesn't explain Bee's condition.

"I'm going to give Tita this recipe to make up" El said, grabbing the recipe that Alva left on the table and going out of the room. The recipe for werewolves is almost similar to that of humans, only at higher doses.

"Does this mean things are getting worse?" asked Roan slowly.

"Of course it's not just that I've made Bee's situation worse, now I'm no longer on the safe criteria of Oscar's choice. He won't let Bee get close to any kind of inhumane creature" I said with a heavy heart.

But what does Alva mean by saying they are different?

My head throbbed as soon as I thought about this again.

Nevermind!! There's no point in me thinking about it now, the most important thing now is how Oscar behaves, having found out that I'm a werewolf.

I know Osca well. When it comes to Bee, we can say we are very similar.

We both don't like it when Bee is close to danger. I will not deny, life as an inhumane creature has a risk of injury or death more than humans.

"Why does Alva say that your eyes are green? At my heart your eyes are always brown"

Roan asked curiously, he must have wanted to ask from earlier. But Alva's whereabouts made him hold back.

"After being with Bee for a while, the color of my eyes turned green. I didn't feel anything back then, suddenly my eyes had turned green. I had to lie to people if I changed the color by surgery" I explained.

"Did that happen because Lui was your Mate?" ask Roan again.

I'm actually lazy to talk about this trivial now, but Roan's question interests me.

I never thought that my eye color change was related to mate. Because I never knew about that fact.

All this time, I just assumed it was normal in the process of maturing a werewolf who was in love.

It sounds a little stupid, but that's the only conclusion I think makes sense.

And since the only place I asked was El, she didn't know about the cause of my eye discoloration either.

"That's possible. I don't know exactly when my eyes turn brown again. Last time I saw him was still green when in LA" I answered Roan after a moment of thought.

I saw my brown eyes for the first time, while mirroring in the hospital bathroom, but I didn't think much of it. I was busy healing myself.

"I saw it was brown when you woke up in the hospital after the vampire attack. I wanted to ask, but it wasn't the right time. I thought you had your brown eyes back, because you're in pack territory again. But Roan's guess made more sense" El said as he stepped into the room.

He heard our conversation from the hallway, because the door of my room could not be closed tightly.

"I've had Tita call people to fix it" El said apologetically, seeing my irritated look at the door.

"Are you going to give up on Lui?" Roan asked without further ado, usually I like his spontaneous attitude.

But his words brought me into reality that I wanted to avoid.

I just kept quiet hearing it. I don't want to give up, but I'm really tired of all this.

The last five months of my life were like tsunami waves. Losing my father, Egon's betrayal, Mom's guilt, not to mention vampires. And now Bee...What should I do to you Bee?

"Of course not!! You told Id to go stalk Lui, that means you didn't give up on her, did you?" El answered Roan's question, and wanted a commitment so I wouldn't give up.

"Can't you go see him now and confirm this?" ask Roan again.

The question reflects Roan's always practical nature. Lung up! I will think about the consequences. But Bee couldn't be faced that way.

"Have you forgotten what I explained to you? Lui is sick, there's a chance she'll go into a coma if Duke comes to see her and tells her all this!!" El's tone was rising. Irritated Roan did not also understand Bee's condition.

"I'm sorry, I just want to deliver medicine" Tita's voice on the doorstep stopped the debate.

El got up and took the medicine packet from Tita's hand. "Thank you" he told Tita.

Tita smiled and then passed.

I sat quietly on the bed so that my infusion hose would not shift. El handed me some pills, which I immediately swallowed with the help of water.

The infusion was quite potent, I felt a slight jolt from my stomach, but the medicine did not spit out again.

El sighed with relief at the sight, he was also worried that I would spit out the medicine again.

Roan seemed to have wanted to discuss the question again, but El looked at him sharply, preventing him from asking. El knows, I don't want to continue that conversation.

My eyes that were looking at them suddenly felt heavy, cr*p... !! The drug contains sleeping pills.

Okay... !! Perhaps by sleeping my tiredness in this world and my fate, will be reduced.