I Can'T Have Your Heart.
Alpha Doubts.

Losing a loved one is a very painful thing, especially for Starla who has experienced it.

"Everything's gonna be okay Starla, trust me." Said Leon who was still trying to calm Starla's heart.

"Are you sure?" Starla asked as she wiped her tears. Even now he was beginning to feel unsure of his own feelings.

"Hm.. And stop crying, I haven't seen you cry in a long time, and when you cry like this, you look really ugly." Goda Leon's.

"Why are you so annoying Yoon.."

Reply Starla is increasingly sobbing and immediately makes Leon move and reach Starla's body to deckapnya. Swiping that slightly vibrating back to calm him down.

"I'm sorry, I just can't see you fighting like this, it's enough for you to shed more tears."

"Thank you Yoon,"

"Hm," Nod Leon.

Knowing and being Starla's best friend for 7 years is enough to let Leon know a lot about Starla's painful past. How hurt and betrayal he got from a man he once loved dearly, how he was dumped in a way that is so painful that he had to live alone without a family in the foreign country.

"It looks like I have to go back" said Starla who immediately stepped from her seat and stepped with her legs feeling limp.

"Heejinlos.. " Call Leon slowly as Starla stands behind the exit.

"Don't be sad, everything's gonna be okay." Leon smiled.

"Hmmm.."

Starla replied briefly with a sweet smile that flashed across her lips before she finally stepped out leaving Cafe Alpha and crossed the path to her Flower Shop.

In silence, Starla looked at the neatly arranged rows of flowers before her. Just an hour ago he felt happiness, but this moment somehow he wanted to cry very loudly. Starla feels all the time leaving her, all finally leaving her side, not even wanting her.

"What's wrong with me, why I always fail to be with someone I love."

Shurmily Starla while throwing her gaze across the street, to a cafe that has begun to look crowded by visitors.

* * * * *

A very cold night in Munchen City, even though the winter has ended, it still tells of cold air that is enough to make the body shiver. Similarly, Starla who is currently standing while looking at both ends of her shoes.

"Hey.. You haven't come home yet? What are you doing there?"

Alpha asked as he walked out of the Cafe and found Starla standing next to her Cafe with a bouquet of flowers in her arms.

"I'm waiting for you" Starla replied with a smile.

"waiting me? Why don't you go inside, it's so cold outside, you get the flu," Alpha replies that immediately wrapped a scarf he wore around Starla's neck that was still gawking with her heart pounding fast enough as Alpha's distinctive scent again greeted her sense of smell, not only did he get there, but even waited for a long time, Alpha immediately grabbed Starla's cold hand to enter her already deserted Cafe at the clock that had shown at 23:00 nights. What little things make Starla so happy.

"What's wrong?"

Ask Alpha who turned on the lights in the room that he had turned off, and immediately sat in front of Starla with a glass of hot chocolate to warm Starla's body which currently looks very cold, and it was clearly visible with her slightly quivering lips.

"I just want to give you this, and... "

"And?" Ask Alpha.

"Something I want to say too."

"Thank you Starla" Reply Alpha who immediately received a bouquet of flowers Starla gave her, although she felt very strange about Starla's current attitude, but he is quite happy when Starla gives a bouquet of flowers, a simple gift he once got from a girl who has attracted his attention, because since long ago until now he always gets a variety of gifts or special gifts of fantastic value from some women who claim to be a secret winder and love it, he said, some even openly expressed their interest in Alpha and invited him to marry. But whether all that doesn't make Alpha happy, a simple gift from Starla can make him happy.

"Do you need to wait until this late to give me a flower?" Alpha asked while staring at Starla.

"Sorry.. L'm.. "

"You better never do it again, what if I didn't get out of here, or if I stayed at this cafe and didn't see you, would you just keep waiting?"

"I'll do it" replied Starla.

"Are you stupid?"

"Well, sometimes a person will turn out to be very stupid when he likes someone, even he will not realize it." Reply Starla who made Alpha cringe.

"What's? Don't tell me you're.."

"Sorry.. But i'm.. Likes you Mr. Khandra." Starla's words that made Alpha instantly silenced with her sharp gaze staring at Starla's face filled with seriousness, although finally the girl was back down when unable to reply to Alpha's gaze longer.

"Never do anything crazy that would harm you." Alpha still staring at Starla.

"I know,"

"You better not do it again. And about what you said just now, I.. "

"I'm sorry if I was presumptuous, but I've liked you for a long time" Sela Starla.

"You're a pretty brave girl Starla."

"Sorry.. "

"Why do you always apologize, liking someone isn't a mistake." Alpha Reply.

"I just don't feel worthy to say this to you."

"And now you're turning into an insecure girl?" Ask Alpha.

"I am like this."

"Tsk, what am I so special, that you feel you don't deserve to say that? Doesn't everyone have the right to express their own feelings."

"I know, but to me, you're a special person, Mr. Khandra."

"You're too much Starla." Alpha Reply.

"No, no, you who never realize how special you are in my eyes as well as in the eyes of the women who always come in your cafe every day just to give gifts and show their interest in you Mr. Khandra," said Starla at length.

"Tsk, why are you talking formally to me now? Anyway you know where if a lot of women are..... Ah yeah.. I almost forgot that you've been there a long time." Alpha reply that made Starla immediately blush from embarrassment, actually what the man who was now sitting in front of her did not know, there seemed to be nothing that Alpha did not know.

"Can I ask you something?" Starla asked a little doubtfully.

"Please.. "

"Are you really going?"

Starla asked, for a moment Alpha was silent while staring at the face of Starla who had been staring at him with a gaze filled with sadness, even Alpha felt uneasy when he saw the round eyes began to look glassy, and even Alpha felt uneasy, no matter how much Starla likes him all this time until the plan to leave can make Starla sad like now.

"What has Yoon told you?" Ask Alpha

"Not much, he just said if you're leaving the country soon, is that right?"

"Hm.. Right."." Right."

"Will it be long? Are you going back? Or the.. "

"Either.. Maybe I'll come back, and maybe I'll never come back." Alpha seems to hesitate.

"But I wish you could come back." Starla lirih muttered.

"A lot of things can't happen according to our wishes Starla."

"Can you promise me to come back?" Starla asked with her voice that sounded trembling.

"I can't promise anything uncertain." Answer Alpha.

"Stop saying sorry, you're making me feel like I've done a lot wrong to you." Alpha Sayings.

"......... "

"And now that you're silent, maybe I should have apologized, because all this time I didn't notice your presence. Maybe I'm less sensitive to such things, and if all this time my attitude has made it difficult for you, I'm sorry, I just don't know what to do." Alpha Sayings.

"It's okay, it's not your fault."

"Well, okay.. From now on you better not have to do things like yesterday."

"Yes, I understand."

Reply Starla bowed lethargic, she already knew if it would eventually happen like this. Alpha doesn't like it, and will never like it, that's a fact he should accept. Although the pain and disappointment now began to eat away at his heart and the desire to cry as hard as he could, but as much as possible he held everything. He just did not want to look weak and whiny in front of Alpha who was now up and back wearing his jacket, grabbing his helmet to wear, he said, starla was shocked when Alpha suddenly put a helmet on her head.

"I'll take you home." Alpha.

"This helmet?"

"Hm.. I bought it in preparation for a careless girl who lost her car keys or stood in front of the Cafe and let her body freeze until late at night."

Syndir Alpha who again made Starla blush to recall the incident last week, where he accidentally lost his car keys, and then lost his car, and it was a lucky thing for him, too, because he met an Alpha who was willing to help him and bring him home, just like tonight. He sat back on the Alpha sports bike, hugging the masculine-scented body amid the cold night breeze that greeted them as they crossed the streets of Munich that had begun to look lonely.

"Alpha.."

"Hm.. "

"Can I wait for you?"

Starla asked in the middle of their trip which at that time Alpha was only riding his motorcycle at moderate speed. Starla took another deep breath as she did not get an answer from Alpha. Even the man was still loyal in silence when his motorbike was parked right in front of the Starla Apartment building.

"You better not do that" Alpha said.

"But why?"

"I just want you not to do it."

"But what's the reason I can't do it?" Ask Starla.

"Because I can't promise you anything." Alpha's instantaneous reply made Starla pause for a moment.

"But.. "

"It seems like this time I should apologize to you, don't do anything stupid anymore." Alpha Reply.

"Waiting for you is not stupid,"

"Starlas.. "

"I do it because I love you" said Starla half-whispering but very clearly heard in Alpha's ear.

"I know, although I'm quite surprised by your sudden confession, but I don't want you to get hurt." Alpha Reply.

"I'm even ready for it, to dare to love you means I have to dare to accept any risk, including getting hurt." Starla.

"Are you always that serious?" Alpha asked, looking closely at Starla.

"I'm sorry if my attitude makes you feel uncomfortable Alpha, and thank you for driving me home, good night."

Said Starla smiling and immediately stepped away leaving Alpha who was still staring at him, even Alpha's lips were still a little open because he did not have time to say a sentence to Starla who had gone to leave him.

"I'm just afraid you'll feel disappointed."

Said Alpha which of course only he himself heard, because the shadow of Starla had disappeared behind his apartment building.

* * * * *

* PANTHOUSE ALPHA KHANDRA.

Alpha stepped into the living room and rested his tired body on the sofa. Usually he is always greeted by a sweet smile and warm embrace the mother who always waits for him in the room when coming home from work. But when Alpha again saw the clock that had shown at 00:16 pm, it did not make him wonder if Mrs Aleen had slept. And before Alpha stepped into the fireplace to warm his body and calm his mind, he took the time to go into his mother's room, saying good night to the figure who had fallen asleep, and tidied up his mother's blanket as was his custom. Leon's voice surprised him a little as he began to secure himself in front of the fireplace.

"What about your business, is everything going well?" Ask Leon who immediately sat next to Alpha who immediately put the book he was reading.

"Hmm, and in three days we're leaving." Answer Alpha.

"alright.. Let me prepare everything."

"Hmmm.." Reply Alpha briefly and go back to daydreaming, no matter what he is thinking at this time, what an attitude that makes Leon a little surprised.

"Is there another problem?" Ask Leon.

"No."

"Are you sure? You look weird today All."

"Either.. I'm just thinking of someone." Answer Alpha.

"someone? Who?"

"Starla."

"Starla's? Since when is that girl on the list of people you think of?" Goda Leon's.

"Since he said he likes me." Answer Alpha tampa.

"What's? A starla? He said that?" Leon asked as if he did not believe the words Alpha just now.

"Hmmm.."

"Then?"

"What?"

"What about your feelings?" Leon asked with excitement.

"Either.. I've always seen Edrea in Starla." Answer Alpha.

"But Starla is not Edrea."

"I know." Speak Alpha slowly.

"It seems you're confused right now. Actually how do you feel?" Ask Leon who is familiar with Alpha's current feelings.

"I can't be sure about how I feel about her, which I know, I'm happy to be next to her, I like to see her laugh, I like her who always blushes with a red face, but I'm not sure if I like her as a woman, because Starla and Edrea have a lot in common." Answer Alpha.

"I understand if you still have doubts about your feelings, but I ask you one thing All, don't give Starla a wish, she'll get hurt again in the end, and I don't want that until it happens."

"I never intended to give her hope, and all I saw, you seemed to care about her so much, did you like her?" Ask Alpha.

"No, as his best friend, it's only natural that I care and worry about him. Because I know the wounds he's had in his past, and I don't want him to feel them anymore."

"Wounds? A past? How bad was the girl's past? You seem to know a lot about him."

"Of course, I've known him for a very long time, and I suggest, if you don't have any feelings for him, you better stay away from him."

Said Leon who only made Alpha speechless with his own mind, with curiosity that he really wanted to ask Leon who seemed to know Starla very well, but his mouth seemed reluctant to open, as if he was reluctant to open, until making a row of questions that have been neatly arranged on his head just stored.

* * * * *

* TO BE CONTINUED.