I Can'T Have Your Heart.
The tears of Starla.

Raindrops drenched the branches of maple trees that lined the outskirts of the park near a Cafe where Starla is currently sitting. Her brown eyes scanned the clear grains dripping on the leaves, and fell down on the green grass she was currently kneeling on, Starla slowly stretched out her hand, feeling the cold rain gently touching her palm.

Can all these painful feelings go away with the cessation of the raindrops, can these flowing clear grains bring all the pain in my heart, I miss it so much..

"Go away from there, the rainwater can make you sick."

Instantly a voice sounded that made Starla rewind her steps slowly. He was bowed while continuing to observe the water flowing under his feet. Until finally he turned his body and found the figure of Leon who was standing with both hands inserted into his pants pocket.

"Yoon's.. "

"You're gonna get the flu.. "

Said Leon while taking off the scarf wrapped around his neck and directly dressed it to Starla's neck who was only speechless with a gloomy-looking expression. Only a faint smile was seen at the corner of Starla's lips at this moment.

"What's wrong?"

Leon asked slowly to sit himself in a chair right in front of Starla, while continuing to observe Starla who was still loyal to her residence, even having nearly 10 minutes with her, Leon had been with her, no words came out of Starla's mouth.

"Star.. You're okay, right?" Ask Leon once again who was just in reply to a slow nod by Starla.

"Until when will you remain silent? At least say one word that makes me sure you're in fine." Said Leon with a tone that began to rise.

"I... "

"What's wrong?" Ask Leon.

"Back to Germany." Starla replied slowly with a downcast face.

"What?"

"I'm going,"

"Are you going to leave or are you going to run away from trouble?" Leon asked which made Starla go silent again.

Maybe you're right Yoon, I'll run away, don't I look like a coward now?

"Are you really going to do that Starla? stay away from all the trouble?"

"No, i... "

"Well.. Speak Starla,"

"I just feel like my decision to go back to this place was the wrong decision, I don't deserve to be here" Starla said.

"You're going to leave after destroying someone's feelings?" Asked Leon who immediately made Starla again speechless with teary eyes. Until his mind goes back to Alpha and their debate yesterday.

"What's he.. "

"Do you really have no idea how Alpha is doing now? Weren't you together yesterday?" Ask Leon who looks emotional.

"I... "

"Don't you know how broken he is right now? How did he hurt her? Even he looks like a dumb and whiny man who keeps on fighting,"

"Yoon's... "

"I hope you're satisfied now.. And may your vengeance be avenged by the wound of Alpha's heart." Reply Leon instantly that also made Starla speechless again, her face flushed red with lips that slightly shook from holding back tears.

"I didn't... L'm... " Said Starla who was bowed back with tears that just dripped right out of the corner of her eyes, her body trembled, as she tried to hold back her tears.

"I'm sorry Yoon... L'm.. Apologize... " Speaking Starla as she covered her face with her palms, Starla looked down, as if she wanted to let out all her sadness all along.

"I'm afraid of Yoon... I'mfrightened... I'm afraid it'll all happen again... I'm really scared.. Yoon's... What should I do... L'm... Hixss.. " Speaking Starla said between her cries, even a few minutes had passed, and Starla was still crying, blowing pain in her heart, until a touch on her shoulder slowly eased her cry.

"Yoon's.. How can I get rid of all my fears... I really don't know... "

"Starla, Alpha is a different man, and he can't possibly hurt you like the others, because he loves you so much, why can't you still understand?" Said Leon slowly.

"But still, I'm still very scared, I... "

"I understand, and I also have no right to force your feelings, I just want you to know one thing, not everyone you see with your eyes is the same, I understand so much about your trauma, I also know how devastated you were when you lost a mother and everything you ever had, but can you look at it with a different perspective? Can you just see his love?"

"I'm..."

"I'm sorry, if I talk too much about Starla." Said Leon slowly, while Starla was still down while squeezing her fingers. Until the atmosphere became silent for a moment, there was only the sound of the raindrops sounding so melodious greeting their hearing senses.

"Are you going to leave?" Leon asked after a long time they were silent.

"Hm,"

"Are you sure?"

"............ "

"If going can make you forget all your pain, you can go anywhere, but are you sure? You gonna be okay?" Ask Leon.

I'm not okay, because as long as this love is still there for Alpha, then as long as I'm always going to feel pain.

"Starlas.. I can't force you to stay, and I can't keep you from leaving either. But can you promise me you'll be okay?"

Really am.. My chest is about to explode.

"I'll be fine" Starla said slowly.

"Alright, go... " Reply Leon flat.

"Yoon's.. I'm sorry, I... "

"I'm not someone who should hear your apology Starla" Leon said in a disappointed tone.

"Send me my apologies for her,"

"Are you not being too cruel?"

"Yoon's.. I'm begging.. I also feel pain here, my chest will explode, every time I think about it my feelings always feel pain, even if just checking it is not enough to make my feelings improve, so I beg you.. I beg Yoon.. I no longer have the strength to look him in the eye."

"I understand." Leon replied briefly and immediately went up and grabbed Starla's body for her deck.

"If you feel bad, remember.. I'm always there to hear everything, I'm sorry, if I don't understand your pain, I just want everything to be okay." Leon said as he rubbed Starla's trembling back.

"I still want you to think about Alpha's feelings once more" whispered Leon before letting go of his arms, and immediately left Starla still standing staring at Leon who slowly disappeared from her sight.

I'm too tired to think about everything.

Starla again threw her gaze towards the rows of maple trees that look more beautiful when the leaves are wet with sunlight that reappears when the rain subsides.

* * * * *

With her feelings filled to a whimper, Starla continued to step her feet on the sidewalk as she continued to bow, bowed, to hide her tears that were still dripping from earlier from several pairs of eyes that passed by her and accidentally saw her crying. There were even some of the people who looked at him with strange and handsome gazes, some were staring with gazes that seemed to be mocking.

Under these circumstances, if Starla were to choose, she would prefer that no one would see her, even if everyone ignored her or ignored her, being in the middle of a stranger makes Starla very uncomfortable. And I don't know since when he felt as an inappropriate person to be close to anyone, especially when he began to hear whispers and laughter from some people who saw him, especially when he began to hear the sound of whispers and laughter from some people who saw him, making Starla feel even more strange and speeding up her footsteps even more, until he felt his body slightly lost balance and almost fell when his body accidentally hit another pedestrian who was also downcast while playing his cellphone.

"Be careful Miss.. " Say the tall and sturdy man while staring intently at Starla.

"Ma.. Sorry.." Starla said as she bowed while holding her shoulder which was a little painful as a result of clashing with the man who was still standing before her with a gaze that had now turned even more terrifying for Starla,

That sound.. It was like I knew that voice.. No. gabe.. What's he..

Starla turned her body back, looking for the figure of the man in black hat as well as the black Hoodie she had hit earlier, but nil, as if it disappeared instantly, even the shadow of the man was not visible in her eyes anymore. Suddenly Starla's body trembled with cold sweat that began to wet her entire body.

No. gabe.. I'm begging.. Don't meet me again with that guy..That's not him.. No. gabe..

"ARRGHHHHHW.. NOOOOK..." Shouted Starla as he realized, even his tears had flooded his face that suddenly paled.

"Honey's.. "

Lucas immediately grabbed Starla's body sitting with a crouching position in the middle of the trotor while covering both ears. Until Starla's body sank in the arms of Lucas who was now holding her very tightly. Starla charged very hard while continuing to cover her ears, burying her face in Lucas' wide chest, which made Lucas instantly feel worried when he saw Starla who looked very frightened.

"Honey's.. What was? You don't look good" asked Lucas, who was hugging Starla's still-vibrating body.

"I'm scared.. I'm begging.. Keep him away from me.. I'm begging.. Aarghhh... Help me... AARRGHGH..." Said Starla stammered who came back shouting very loudly while continuing to shake her head.

"Starlas.. You're safe now, relax.. I'm right here." Lucas whispered slowly as he stroked Starla's head which slowly calmed down.

"Honey are you okay?" Lucas asked once again that made Starla wake up and immediately raised her head up and saw the face of Lucas who was looking at her with eyes filled with worry.

"You.. "

With a reflex Starla pushed the body of Lucas who was still hugging him until Lucas' body staggered slightly back.

"Stay away from me" said Starla immediately and immediately stepped away leaving Lucas who was chasing after her.

"Honey's.. Wait for.. " Excited Lucas who again grabbed Starla's arm to make Starla's footsteps stop.

"Are you okay?" Lucas asked who still looked worried.

"What do you mean?"

"You look like Starla's scared, you're even questioning, what's the matter?" Lucas asked who was still holding Starla's wrist trying to break away.

"I'm doing fine. Let go of me."

"I can't believe you're a fucked up Starla,"

"Detachable... " Reply Starla with all her might to shake Lucas' hand.

"Stop touching me" continued Starla, hoping Lucas would stay in his place, but he was wrong, because again Lucas chased after him and again clasped his hands very firmly.

"Let go of me Lucas, you're hurting me." Starla.

"I won't let go of you, at least until you feel calm, look at you, your face even looks very pale now."

"But I'm fine,"

"Stop acting like Starla's little boy and come with me." Lucas said as he pulled Starla's arm toward her car, put Starla in the car and locked her in there.

"Please yourself first. After that you can go." Lucas sat at the wheel staring at Starla looking back at her with a cold gaze filled with hatred.

"I've never seen that look before, do you really hate me so much Starla?"

Is correct.. I hate you, I hate you so much.

"I see, at least you still want to be here, that's enough to make me happy,"

But not with me Lucas, I'm not at all happy when I'm next to you.

"I'm sorry, all this time I haven't apologized in the right way to you, sorry, once again forgive me."

Being late.. It's too late, Lucas, you should know that.

"Stay silent if it makes you better, but I want you to hear me. You just disappeared, you left me a single message, you even went to listen to my explanation, you left before I apologized and forgave you, do you know.. I was almost crazy back then," Lucas said slowly as he continued to stare at Starla who had been silent since then, and turned his gaze out the window.

"Can I go now?" Starla asked who finally let out a voice looking at Lucas in the slightest.

"Starlas.. That time..."

"Stop it.."

"I really don't intend to do it to another woman, and it's not my will."

"I don't care, we don't have to talk about it anymore." Reply Starla.

"But you should know, if I'm in the trap at the time."

"........... "

"Someone put a stimulant into my drink, and do you know that I was waiting for you that afternoon? I even asked Assistant Dad to call you to pick me up, but you didn't come.. In that room.. I see you, I see your face, I feel like I'm hugging you, I... "

"I never received a phone call from you at the time. I just received a phone call from someone the next day."

"I know," Lucas replied "For they did not contact you at all at my command,"

"But why?"

"For they had planned it in the first place, framing me for sleeping with another woman." Lucas's repulsive speech surprised Starla.

"What's your Dad?"

"Hm.."

"Tsk, the honorable man from the Elfredo family could also do such a dirty thing." Starla replies which makes Lucas smile thinly.

"At least I can be relieved now, because you already know the truth, at least in your eyes I'm not a jerk anymore who likes to change partners like what you've been thinking about all this time."

"......... "

"And about your mother,"

"I don't want to hear it,"

"Your mother's..."

"ENOUGH.." Shouted Starla while covering her two ears very tightly.

"Starlas.. "

"You're my mother's killers.. You killed her, you lied to me" Starla replied with teary eyes.

"Starlas.. Can you listen to me first?"

"No, enough. Get me out of here, " said Starla, who kept pouring out Lucas's windshield, trying to open the door of the car that was still locked.

"alright.. You're gonna get out of here before you know, if your mom's the one who refused the operation." Lucas immediately stopped Starla's hand movements, along with his sharp gaze pointing straight at Lucas.

* * * * *

* TO BE CONTINUED.